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#1683298 - 12/30/08 10:47 AM Re: welcome to the land of misfit toys #11 [Re: 1hope]
Amy M Offline
Member

Registered: 07/23/08
Posts: 1163
Loc: Florida
(((((BG))))))!

Love to you! I hate that things aren't going well right now, but, as much as you can't see them, better days are just around the corner. I know cause I've already gotten some in my life...better days!

Hang in there! We're all here for you.

Love ya!
Amy
_________________________
Me 39 H 36
S 7 S 4
T 15 M 12
H out 8/1/08
OW confirmed 8/6/08
D final on 6/12/09...I'm doing good!

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#1683337 - 12/30/08 11:35 AM Re: welcome to the land of misfit toys #11 [Re: Amy M]
MT35 Offline
Member

Registered: 09/03/08
Posts: 1623
Loc: Kansas
Hey BG- Sorry that things are boiling down to what she wants. You need to think about you! I know that it is hard, living in the middle of their roller coaster takes too big a toll on you! Step back. I am praying for you!
_________________________
Finding My Yellow Brick Road....

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#1683382 - 12/30/08 12:52 PM Re: welcome to the land of misfit toys #11 [Re: MT35]
Babygirl Offline
Member

Registered: 08/25/08
Posts: 2991
Loc: out in the boonies of kansas
thanks all. meeting with pastor was great. I so needed it. i think that will charge my batteries til sunday. He suggested a few things, one to ask H how he sees me, as his wife, his friend, his bed buddy what. that I just tell h that he has to choose her or me. that I have to have a consequence he understands if he breaks the boundaries. and that he really prays that H would see, that OW is the one destroying on purpose what we are trying to rebuild.

I let kelsey hear a couple voicemail messages he had left me last nite, so someone could understand why i believed he wanted to save us so bad. he did say he is confused, how do I let him work thru his confusion?
_________________________
M 36
XH 34
3 children
If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25
"your mood swings are giving me whiplash" twilight
ALIVE FREE AND HAPPY 2010


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#1683463 - 12/30/08 02:28 PM Re: welcome to the land of misfit toys #11 [Re: Babygirl]
1hope Offline
Member

Registered: 05/20/08
Posts: 1677
Loc: Mid-West
Maybe just by letting him go? Dropping the rope, so that OW has enought to hang herself with? If you let go of the rope will she fall on her a$$?

IDK, it's your call, but what would he do if you enforced your boundary and changed the locks?
_________________________
Most of us are about as happy as we make up our minds to be.

My first link

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#1683514 - 12/30/08 03:36 PM Re: welcome to the land of misfit toys #11 [Re: 1hope]
blindsided1 Offline
Member

Registered: 11/06/07
Posts: 2062
Loc: So. Calif
Stick to your guns BG. You are a very strong woman. You can do and be anything you set your mind to.
_________________________
M 5yrs
1st baby-girl born 6/18/08
Bomb: 10/13/07 OW - I was 6wks Prego
H Moved in w/OW: 11/2/07
D Final 07/10
OW had his baby 3/17/09-so her
Me, now - happier than I ever was with him

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#1683531 - 12/30/08 03:59 PM Re: welcome to the land of misfit toys #11 [Re: blindsided1]
Babygirl Offline
Member

Registered: 08/25/08
Posts: 2991
Loc: out in the boonies of kansas
who knows what he would do with anything. today he has been massively grumpy, he was upset my session with pastor went 30 minutes longer, then mad I let d16 go to the mall again, just plain mad, oh well didnt fall for his bait. I have said nothing to him about anything he has said the past few days, let him worry for once what i am up too lol!

oh hope, she will so be there to pick him up AS SOON as she can be.
_________________________
M 36
XH 34
3 children
If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25
"your mood swings are giving me whiplash" twilight
ALIVE FREE AND HAPPY 2010


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#1683556 - 12/30/08 04:20 PM Re: welcome to the land of misfit toys #11 [Re: Babygirl]
kelaaron Offline
Member

Registered: 08/27/08
Posts: 1621
ok hon, i'm gonna say the same thing here that I said on the phone. Maybe someone else will have some input.

First, you know I completly understand all of it. More than anyone else. So I will say this with as much strength as I can cuz I know where you are.

Let him go. Let him have his time to make his choice. I know you know where he will go initially, but he already is going there and you and the kids are suffering for it. Honey, he has/is costing you sooooo much.

He needs to see that you won't keep playing this with him and he needs to see what his REAL other option is. He loves you. I know that. But until he gets to see her for what she is, he will keep doing this to you.

I know you say if he goes, you won't take him back. So many of us have said that. You don't have to date him, that will just keep him in the same place he is now. But if he really thinks he will lose you, it may change his mind. I really think that is the only way he is going to open his eyes. And then maybe if he wants to work on it, you can open your heart enough to give him and you that chance.

He is not able to stand up to her right now. He is not able to see her for what she is. He just isn't there. But if you keep going this way, you are not gonna have anything left of yourself. Your selfesteem, your health, your family. It is time to be strong. Not strong enough to endure more of his bad behavior. Strong enough to say enough is enough. Ok just my opinion. Hope you still love me. \:\)
_________________________
If you focus on the past, you ruin the future. You can only live for today.

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#1683580 - 12/30/08 04:35 PM Re: welcome to the land of misfit toys #11 [Re: kelaaron]
Babygirl Offline
Member

Registered: 08/25/08
Posts: 2991
Loc: out in the boonies of kansas
sigh yea i guess i still love you, guess i have to after i had us both in tears last nite lol!!!

hmmmmmm i am thinking a haircut and color are in order, dont know what it will look like, but even if i get it styled it might be cool. no more hiding under my dew rags lol!
_________________________
M 36
XH 34
3 children
If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25
"your mood swings are giving me whiplash" twilight
ALIVE FREE AND HAPPY 2010


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#1683662 - 12/30/08 06:35 PM Re: welcome to the land of misfit toys #11 [Re: Babygirl]
Babygirl Offline
Member

Registered: 08/25/08
Posts: 2991
Loc: out in the boonies of kansas
well i better get brownie points, i finally figured out the ipod thingy the kids got H for xmas. I am gonna go get a haircut, my adopted daughter is working til nine! she wants to put orange streaks in my hair lol!! do I dare?
_________________________
M 36
XH 34
3 children
If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25
"your mood swings are giving me whiplash" twilight
ALIVE FREE AND HAPPY 2010


Top
#1683732 - 12/30/08 08:28 PM Re: welcome to the land of misfit toys #11 [Re: Babygirl]
Tomato Offline
Member

Registered: 01/03/08
Posts: 4058
Loc: Northeast
cool another redhead ..join our club my dear Sis

we count even the altered one's sorta ..lol
_________________________
debut thread

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