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Originally Posted By: MT35
Morning Tomato! How is all the snow effecting your flights? You would be considered a Santa's helper too...wouldn't you? Flying your cargo!


This is true!

The flights must go on. The kids must get their toys even if I sacrifice myself in the process ...just kidding lol


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MT, my friend, I'm glad that you aren't used to being sad this time of year. One time is forever enough. This year will be it. It will be different, but you are being tested by the fire, and you will be stronger and better when this is done.

I find that it helps to remember that our H's are also sad and in pain. It seems simple that they are causing the pain, so they should "just stop" and things will be good again, but what has happened can't be undone, and there is still pain that comes with each healing little step.

Be still right now, and process. I feel that is what your H is doing. I think that's why he has the "foul" moods. It's pretty obvious that he is starting to process some of this. If he were convinced he was doing the right thing, he would not even be looking back.

Hang in there sunshine. You are very loved!


Most of us are about as happy as we make up our minds to be.

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Thanks Hope, I am praying that he is making steps. I know I just need to be still. It is very hard. I don't think I can take another holiday season like this one. Thank you for your thoughts! I always appreciate them!

Wish we had some sunshine! Just cold and cloudy!


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Do you keep some sort of a journal MT? Even it only a small "happy" notebook?

It has helped me to look back at the happy steps that H has made, especially when I find myself feeling down.

This time of year is the very hardest, I think, but no matter how things work out, it will never again be the same as this time.

I was wondering, do you think you are worried about what might happen after the Holidays?


Most of us are about as happy as we make up our minds to be.

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Hi, MT.

Stepping back and being still is the hardest thing, isn't it!! I have always loved Christmas! I love giving really big gifts and seeing those I love open them! I never really care what I get so much. This year, I didn't even do cards. \:\(

I am so ready for this year to be over!


TJ

Me45,H49
D24,S18
M26,T28
Bomb 3/19/08
Sep 6/23/08
EA/PA with Secretary 2007-8
3/2009 H moved in w/OW2
7/2009 Let him go w/Love.
8/2009 Legally Sep'd
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Hope, I used to keep a gratitude journal. I need to get back to that.

I think I almost feel like I need to tell him after the holidays that you can't keep seeing me if you don't want to be with me I guess. I know my friends want me to Sh*t or get off the pot, You know New Year, New You, stuff. But I just don't know, like today, he was talking to a coworker about us not buying gifts for each other this year, so we can go to Arizona next month. This was something we talked about doing last year, and we have decided we want to still go.

He still makes comments to me that are weird I guess, he has always called me his old lady to his guy friends, and he still does, when he told me about talking to his coworker, H had said me and myold lady when he was referring to us. He has said it other times too, that his friend has said, are you and your old lady going to the casino tonight, and his friend is referring to me. Just is weird to me, H isn't living with me, but I am still his old lady. I never took offense to being called that,the way some do. My Grandpa always used to call my Grandma, Woman, I always hated it when I was younger in Middle school and High School, I was all about women's lib then! As much as you can be at that age, where you think you know it all! LOL. Anyway, H would call me Woman too, just joking because of Grandpa, but it has stuck.

I know all of this takes time, but I just want it over! I guess I worry that our trip to Arizona maybe one of the last things we do together.

It is all just this time of year, with the New Year coming I think.

Last edited by MT35; 12/22/08 10:29 PM.

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SC- I am in the same boat, I have always done Christmas cards, even in Middle School and High School, I sent out the cards for my family. My mom never had time until after Christmas because of school and craft show stuff.
The past two years, H and I did ones with our dogs that I sent out. This year no cards. Just don't have the drive or excitement to do them this year at all! I have lost the spirit!


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When H and I were "dating" again a few months ago, he would make remarks referring to the future like we were going to be together. Then he got cold feet. Then, when PA came out, he agreed to MC. Last week, he said he's doesn't want to continue MC, he just doesn't love me anymore. I've put a down payment on an apt for me and S17, so H can move back into house to get it ready for sale. H has been really friendly and cordial, as have I. I'm feeling more detatched than I have ever felt. That's probably why H is being so friendly. He's happy I finally am "letting him go". Then, today, my H called me "Babe" for the first time in forever. And even though I know it means absolutely nothing, my heart gave a lurch when he said it.

It turly is an f'ing rollercoaster!!


TJ

Me45,H49
D24,S18
M26,T28
Bomb 3/19/08
Sep 6/23/08
EA/PA with Secretary 2007-8
3/2009 H moved in w/OW2
7/2009 Let him go w/Love.
8/2009 Legally Sep'd
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I understand what you mean. Last week I got I love you's for the first time since August, but then I think he scared himself off again with them! Who knows!


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I haven't gotten an ILY since March. The few times I told it to him, he replied "I know."


TJ

Me45,H49
D24,S18
M26,T28
Bomb 3/19/08
Sep 6/23/08
EA/PA with Secretary 2007-8
3/2009 H moved in w/OW2
7/2009 Let him go w/Love.
8/2009 Legally Sep'd
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