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#1678575 - 12/22/08 03:07 AM Re: Another wife Hit by the Bomb #6 [Re: marriedCrazy]
Tawnya Offline
Member

Registered: 10/13/08
Posts: 2556
Loc: NC
Aww..how nice to hop on and see all of you checking in on me..I appreciate that \:D

Before I hug and thank you all individually, I had to tell you guys this funny thing that happened yesterday. My hub, who drove up to Massachusetts on Friday, remember he left early because I told him the weather would stink on Friday..he didn't get there until SUPER SUPER way after he was suppose to due to the weather, something about getting stuck in a 4 hour traffic jam, on top of having to drive really slowly in the snow..

OK..so hub called my son to check in on him, cause he didn't think I'd be back yesterday. So I asked my daughter if he called her too and she said yes and I asked what her dad said..she told me how he didn't get in until late and how bad the driving in the snow was and (this is the good part) my daughter SAID to my husband, "Well didn't mom TELL you it was suppose to be that bad?" LOL..I CRACKED UP that she said that..I even asked her, "Did you really say that?" LOL..and she said he replied, "yeah..she did" \:\) That just made me chuckle and figured I'd share \:D

{{{Tom}}} Oh my gosh..you posted! I have missed getting to chat back and forth with you the last bit with your being sick and life and stuff..thank you for checking in on me! I took some Nyquil last night around 10, and sometime between 10 and 11 I went to bed and didn't even MOVE or wake up until 10 this morning, it was NICE!

{{{Beth}}} Thank you my friend, just posted on your thread checking in on YOU..I am doing better and feeling better, definitely not 100% and still have this annoying congestion, but BETTER than it's been for sure \:\)

{{{Tomato}}} Aww we'd have cheered you up for sure my dear friend..I hope you don't stay angry..you are much too kindhearted and loving and godly to let anything bring you too far down..look up \:D AND go get that book The Shack..you definitely need it..(psst..the guy in the story is really ticked off at God)

{{{LE}}} Aww..thank you my friend for checking in on ME with all you have going on..I am doing better and, like I said at the beginning, logging on here and seeing all of your names and sweet posts made my night \:\)

Tawnya
_________________________
Me:39
H:40
D18/S12
M20/T21
Bomb 10/11/08
One
Two
Three
Four



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#1678714 - 12/22/08 02:12 PM Re: Another wife Hit by the Bomb #6 [Re: Tawnya]
Amy M Offline
Member

Registered: 07/23/08
Posts: 1163
Loc: Florida
Morning, Tawnya! I made it home safe and sound. The kids' Christmas program was too cute yesterday. Sorry you didn't get to see it!

I hope you are feeling a ton better. How did the tree look? I wish someone had decorated mine while I was gone...no such luck!!!!

Love to you!!!
Amy
_________________________
Me 39 H 36
S 7 S 4
T 15 M 12
H out 8/1/08
OW confirmed 8/6/08
D final on 6/12/09...I'm doing good!

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#1678720 - 12/22/08 02:34 PM Re: Another wife Hit by the Bomb #6 [Re: Amy M]
Tawnya Offline
Member

Registered: 10/13/08
Posts: 2556
Loc: NC
Good morning {{{Amy}}} Sorry the tree decorating fairy didn't come while you were gone..but hopefully you will get some energy to do it eh? \:\) It looked good..we added some more ornaments to it when I got home that my son didn't put on..but it was good and hey..it was done LOL \:D

I am feeling a bit better..got some decent sleep last night too.

Glad you made it home safe and sound and hope you have a great day!

Tawnya
_________________________
Me:39
H:40
D18/S12
M20/T21
Bomb 10/11/08
One
Two
Three
Four



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#1678790 - 12/22/08 04:06 PM Re: Another wife Hit by the Bomb #6 [Re: Tawnya]
Puppy Dog Tails Offline
Member

Registered: 02/22/08
Posts: 18296
I'm doing my outside Christmas lights today (finally!). It's hard to get motivated to do it when it's 80 degrees, but today is nice and chilly! So I'd better hop to it.

Just popped in to check on you, Tawnya. Glad you had a good night's beauty sleep!

Puppy
_________________________
"Still at the end of every hard-earned day, people find some reason to believe" -- Bruce Springsteen







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#1678861 - 12/22/08 05:25 PM Re: Another wife Hit by the Bomb #6 [Re: Puppy Dog Tails]
Tomato Offline
Member

Registered: 01/03/08
Posts: 4058
Loc: Northeast
Hi T from T \:\)

I liked your story about the convo between hub and your D. Very funny. Plus it was nice to hear that you got some decent rest.

I am still kinda down but trying to make my way through it. I need to read more beginning with the Word and then I will pick up The Shack which all of you have been talking up.

Peace.

T


"And His kingdom shall have no end ..."
_________________________
debut thread

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#1678878 - 12/22/08 05:36 PM Re: Another wife Hit by the Bomb #6 [Re: Tomato]
Kristi R Offline
Member

Registered: 06/06/08
Posts: 154
Loc: Pa
Hey Tawnya,

How are you doing?

I really need to go buy some Christmas presents. But I am so not in the mood.
I just got off the phone with a realtor. I am trying to get all my ducks in a row, so to speak. I need to figure out when to put the house on the market so we can move when the kids get out of school. Now I need to figure out where I want to live and find a new job.

This whole D..really sucks!!!

Sorry if I sound down. I am just trying to get in the Christmas spirit but it isn't really working!!

Have a great day.

Kristi
_________________________
M:35
H:39
S:13
D:9
M:10 yrs
T:12 yrs
Bomb 2/9/08
Divorce filed 10/17/08

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#1679016 - 12/22/08 08:08 PM Re: Another wife Hit by the Bomb #6 [Re: Kristi R]
sandi2 Offline
Member

Registered: 06/28/07
Posts: 11462
Hi, excuse me while I hijack your thread to say something to SingleDad. I would go to his thread, but wanted this to be for you as well.

The idea about "not fighting" for the M......well, DB is fighting for the M but in a different way. What other way is there to fight for a R? Is yelling, crying, pleading, making demands.....is that what fighting for a M is? That doesn't work. Every single person that has come on this board who was a LBS said they did all of those things and not one person....NOT ONE SINGLE PERSON ever said it worked! So, that is not fighting......not in a productive way, that is. Going to the OP and getting into a fist fight or battle of words and threats does not work. Oh, if they are M and have a family and are just in an A for the kicks....they may get scared off, but have you won your spouse back? Not likely.

We also learn that in this route of DBing, it is also, if not mostly, about self survival and how to come out the winner in spite of what your spouse decides to do with their life. So, you have the best strategy either way.

I am not being sarcastic and hope this does not come across as sounding like that at all. But, it just struck a nerve in a way b/c I think that is how so many people see this.......just like SingleDad's mother sees it, as though he isn't doing anything. What they don't realize is that it is the hardest battle one will ever "fight".

So hang in there DBers. You are going to get through Christmas and you are going to get through this next year. You have the plan (DB), you have the tools (DB) and you have the support (DB Board). You will come out the winner if you decide to do so. It is up to you. Just as SingleDad said, he can't make his S stay with him or change her mind....neither can DB.....it is up to you. So I hope all of you will stay with us.

Sandi
_________________________
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!

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#1679287 - 12/23/08 03:22 AM Re: Another wife Hit by the Bomb #6 [Re: sandi2]
Tawnya Offline
Member

Registered: 10/13/08
Posts: 2556
Loc: NC
{{{PDT}}}} Aww thank you for checking on me..according to my mom and a coworker, I SOUND TERRIBLE (LOL..which is sweet eh?), but actually I feel the best I've felt in about a week..and I did get another good night's sleep last night..so hopefully this mess is on its way out! How did the Christmas lights go..hopefully no problems and you aren't outside hanging upside down tangled in your Christmas lights \:D

{{{Tomato}}} Hi T back from T. Ugh I hate that you are feeling down (Sandi this is my new "I'm sorry phrase" it seems LOL)..and I hope and pray that you spend some time renewing yourself in the Word and then GET THE SHACK book \:D I promise you will love it..there were times reading that when I just felt soooo peaceful..it was very cool! Let me know when you start it/what you think!

{{{Kristi}}} Aww sweetie..I hear you about the Christmas spirit, I was telling Amy earlier today that this is the first year I have been so behind and just haven't gotten into the mood of Christmas, but honestly..also like I told her..GIRL we are breathing and still walking and not in a looney bin, so I think we are doing good to just get THRU this considering what we are all going thru..I hope you feel better by the time you read this now \:\)

{{{Sandi}}} Thank you for posting that to me as well..I ALWAYS need encouragement and a good talking to and I didn't read sarcasm anywhere in that post! You know, if you read back to where I was talking to my stepmom, she was like "you have to do SOMETHING to make him listen", and I think by the end of our convo she understood, I THINK?, that I was doing the most and the best I could do just by doing what I am doing. I told her that I had to look out for ME and the kids and just keep living my life and that if my hub gets his head on straight at some point, which I believe will happen (my faith talking!)!!, then all the better, but I can't just curl up and die!

I have spent wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy too much time in my entire life doing things the wrong way, I was the ultimate begger, pleader, crier, arguer, and it rarely to ever worked while we were happily married and it sure as heck hasn't worked at ALL in the past 2 months..LOL..

It is hard at times, as a "fixer", to feel like you are doing nothing, but, in reality, you are right, ESPECIALLY for fixers, DB'ing can be the ultimately hardest thing we've ever done \:\)

And honestly, as crazy as it sounds and I've told many people this, this experience has been the best thing that could have happened to ME..as far as waking ME up to ME..not that I couldn't have done with it happening another way LOL..but..

Tawnya
_________________________
Me:39
H:40
D18/S12
M20/T21
Bomb 10/11/08
One
Two
Three
Four



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#1679288 - 12/23/08 03:24 AM Re: Another wife Hit by the Bomb #6 [Re: sandi2]
JDOllie Offline
Member

Registered: 12/13/08
Posts: 1005
Loc: Ohio
sandi2,,
I told Tawnya I would catch up on her latest thread, and got a pleasant surprise with your last post.

I've been completely thrown off my game - because I was all set to do X,Y, and Z, and then OM entered into the game. It is a "friend" - no A as yet, seems like basically someone to unload on.

I want to just spread some PMA around - I have been having a great holiday - I have not allowed myself really to think about W at all. Not in a bad way - either, I have been playing with kids, doing laundry, visiting family, eating too much. Even played XBOX and PS3 with my nephews for like 20 hours straight!

I feel so in control and confident - it's unbelievable. I honestly have no idea what to do, so I've just focused on life, kids, God, Christmas, etc.

I have to give credit where credit is due - I have been praying a lot, and really got back on track spiritually!

I will make it through the holidays, and I'm already feeling stronger, and just when I had pretty much given up, W starts paying attention. Sheesh, you know maybe DBing works!

Anyway, this thread sort of reads like the Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants, so I hope my maleness is tolerated!
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Thread #1 | Thread #2 | Thread #3 | Thread #5

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#1679289 - 12/23/08 03:26 AM Re: Another wife Hit by the Bomb #6 [Re: Tawnya]
Tawnya Offline
Member

Registered: 10/13/08
Posts: 2556
Loc: NC
So I went out and did some Christmas shopping today, finally..LOL..it was surprising to me how NOT busy the mall was, I was truly expecting a crush of people, but it wasn't like that at all..much worse at Target really.

So at this count my son has: A "for real" drum set, some Diesel Fuel cologne gift set (he is a boy with expensive taste LOL), and I'm going to get him a GC because I want him to have to chose between this hat he wants that more than I want to pay vs a game that he wants..all together those gifts alone cost me more than I've paid for all of Christmas most years LOL..the drums were $$

My daughter has: An Ipod, a car kit for her ipod, a Twilight book, and a GC for unlimited tanning for a month (her request) AND her birthday comes in in 2 weeks, so she will get other goodies at that point..

It's very sad how "little" it seems like I got them, but how expensive it really is for those "little" gifts LOL..my son commented about that a while back, about wanting the drums saying, "I think it's better to have 1-2 presents that are $$ than a bunch of little nothings"..

SOOOO..no "mom guilt" (talking to myself here LOL) about not having 5000 presents under the tree \:D

Tawnya
_________________________
Me:39
H:40
D18/S12
M20/T21
Bomb 10/11/08
One
Two
Three
Four



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