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#1680052 - 12/24/08 01:59 AM Re: A Sailor's Christmas [Re: StrgMarvelousWmn]
sofaraway Offline
Member

Registered: 10/03/06
Posts: 10111
Loc: Memphis, TN
That was a lot of reading jeesh....

On to the business at hand.

How would I answer him, well we all agree that he is acting like a spoiled child and his behavior is completely inconsistent right???? So i would reply to him as I would to a child misbehaving.

I would let him know that you never said you didnt want to communicate. I would tell him when he is ready to commit to weekly calls to your kids maybe your kids would want to talk with him more. I would tell him that he needs to be consistent with the kids. I would remind him that they are the innocent bystanders in this and need to feel wanted and loved by him and he is not doing a very good job of that right now.

Your obligations and priorities right now are IMHO as follows....

1. Yourself mentally and physically
2. Your kid's well being.
3. Your home.
4. I don't know maybe Jello or TV...
5. Your husband.

You have every right to tell him what you need in support of raising your children and keeping them safe and feeling loved. His lack of communication and caring with them is uncalled for no matter what you and he are going through right now.

So my point I guess is this. You blasted out a line in the email that was a shot at him. That was what bothered me. It is beneath you and you acted out of anger. It gives him an excuse to put things off on you again. I would rather to have seen you hit him factually and requesting he live up to his paternal obligation.

You may need to refresh my memory on that number kiddo....


Ian
_________________________
M- 42
XW- mentally 14
KIDS- 3- S14, D17, D23
Married- 17 years
Divorce final- 10/16/09


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#1680251 - 12/24/08 11:28 AM Re: A Sailor's Christmas [Re: StrgMarvelousWmn]
Kalni Offline
Member

Registered: 01/20/08
Posts: 10261
Merry Christmas HON!!!!
Love
M
_________________________
Me&H:42
S11&D10
Bomb 5/2007-Sep 11/2007
Reconc.November 2009

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#1680333 - 12/24/08 03:35 PM Re: A Sailor's Christmas [Re: Kalni]
mishka422 Offline
Member

Registered: 12/12/07
Posts: 9683
Loc: GA
Merry Christmas Laura!!!

Hoping you feel the blessings of the season and wishing you a very Happy New Year!!!

Love and hugs!

Michelle
_________________________
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43
bomb12/4/07
PA5/07
S12/26/07
D final 11/17/08
Back together with no defined R 05/2010
confused....to say the least!!!


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#1680442 - 12/24/08 05:38 PM Re: A Sailor's Christmas [Re: mishka422]
GoingForward Offline
Member

Registered: 01/30/08
Posts: 1947
Loc: California
(((((Merry Christmas, SMW and family))))) \:\)
_________________________
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell

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#1680638 - 12/24/08 11:42 PM Re: A Sailor's Christmas [Re: GoingForward]
Tomato Offline
Member

Registered: 01/03/08
Posts: 4058
Loc: Northeast
merry christmas Sis
_________________________
debut thread

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#1680776 - 12/25/08 04:58 AM Re: A Sailor's Christmas [Re: Tomato]
StrgMarvelousWmn Offline
Member

Registered: 04/02/08
Posts: 4045
Loc: Virginia
{{{{Ian}}}}I will respond to you tomorrow night--way too busy today and Mrs' Claus still needs to take care of a couple of things, too. I did not spend near what I have in the past, and the kids probably still got too much stuff.

DH called the kids this morning to wish them a Merry Christmas. He has duty tomorrow and would not be able to call them. I was very good when I emailed him back last night--tried to be a little nicer. For my troubles, I got a very short email early this morning, and another one after he called. He told me several times to have a great Christmas while we were on the phone and again in the email he sent. I wanted to tell him that of course I am going to have a great Christmas, I get to spend it with the kids, but I did not. I did tell him that I hoped he had a nice day tomorrow and that he does not have to work too hard. I did not tell him we missed him or we love him--the kids all said it when they were on the phone.

He never asked what I got the kids and only seemed marginally interested when I was telling him. Oh well. Maybe they will email him tomorrow and let him know what they got and thank him for their gifts from us. We will see.

The Candlelight Service at church was wonderful. We had prayer request cards to fill out and I asked for my DH and all troops to come home safely from deployment. However, when Pastor read the requests, he did not reveal names, but asked for the congregation to pray for a member of the church whose husband is on deployment,that they are having marital difficulties and to pray for restoration, counseling, and the family to be made whole. Mom assured me she did not put it in as a request, and D17 requested prayers for the families of her friends who were killed in the car accident last month. I guess Pastor just really knew what was on my heart today.

Now, off to find some batteries to get the play kitchen ready for the littles!

Merry Christmas everyone! Best wishes and prayers for a New Year full of hope, promises fulfilled, and testimonies to the Glory of Our Almighty God. Thank you all for the support you have given me thus far. Love and hugs to all!

SMW
_________________________
M40/H36
T16/M14
4K
B2/08
S4/08
current

Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through
every circumstance.
I Corinthians 13:7




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#1680795 - 12/25/08 06:38 AM Re: A Sailor's Christmas [Re: StrgMarvelousWmn]
Amy M Offline
Member

Registered: 07/23/08
Posts: 1163
Loc: Florida
And, love and hugs to you!!! Merry Christmas!!!

Amy
_________________________
Me 39 H 36
S 7 S 4
T 15 M 12
H out 8/1/08
OW confirmed 8/6/08
D final on 6/12/09...I'm doing good!

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#1680888 - 12/25/08 03:43 PM Re: A Sailor's Christmas [Re: Amy M]
Tawnya Offline
Member

Registered: 10/13/08
Posts: 2556
Loc: NC
{{{{{SMW}}}}}} I pray that your day today is filled with love, laughter, and joy \:D

Have a Merry Christmas!!

BTW..my hub didn't even ask what the heck else I got my kids either..weird..I mean I'm always the one that gets their stuff, but he'll be as surprised as they are LOL \:D

Tawnya
_________________________
Me:39
H:40
D18/S12
M20/T21
Bomb 10/11/08
One
Two
Three
Four



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#1681175 - 12/26/08 01:49 PM Re: A Sailor's Christmas [Re: Tawnya]
Tomato Offline
Member

Registered: 01/03/08
Posts: 4058
Loc: Northeast
Hi Sis

I hope and pray that the last little bit has all been peaceful \:\)

Enjoy your day!

T
_________________________
debut thread

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#1681336 - 12/26/08 07:56 PM Re: A Sailor's Christmas [Re: StrgMarvelousWmn]
Tomato Offline
Member

Registered: 01/03/08
Posts: 4058
Loc: Northeast
Sis

Yo ...You sure as heck better be enjoying that week and a half off that you mentioned you now have. They don't come around with much frequency ..especially for you my looney tunes -Roadrunner Sis. You best not build in a whole bunch of busy work during this time.

It most definetely is a long overdue time to step back from it all, unwind, decompress ...whatever words you want to put to it.

In any case, I hope you are doing what you need to do to really enjoy this little break you have. Shooo the kids away and put your feet up. Breathe ...keep it simple. Be contemplative about our Redeemer Jesus. \:\)

T
_________________________
debut thread

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