Quote: How SURE are you about things that are going to happen? we can never be SURE of anything...or rather as they say the only things certain in life are death and taxes
How much do you rely on the past, and the present, to predict the future? Especially about the "negative" things?
oh far to much, I sit and wonder or rather try to gage with some fictional meter, mmmm was h doing this or that then? sets me up for real trouble and gets me making a whole lot of assumptions that are typically negative
How would you see the situation you're in from an outsider's point of view? What if you were a third-party looking at the events that are going on in your life? How might you see things differently? this is a tough one. sometimes I think that if I were listening to a friend tell the same story I am living I would see more positive than I do on my own, but (yes I know LL's infamous but) there are also times when I would look at my sit and say either suck it up or get out.
If you were to read your story on the board like it was someone else's thread, what would you post to yourself? What advice would you give to you? How well would you take that advice?!
well I would tell myself to look how far we've come, focus on the positives, recognize what has worked in the past and stick to it, stay responsible for your own happiness, stop blaming yourself for h's indiscretions, and a whole lot more. would I take that advice? depends on how big the 2x4 was
last night I went to the c alone...I hadn't gotten a sitter and felt I could use the time alone with c to let out some fears that only seem to frustrate h so alone I went. As I sat there semi-complaining about things I did take a step back and ask out loud if the things that have happend didn't happen (affair and seperation threat of d etc) would I be happy with the way the r is going now and I couldn't answer or maybe was just afraid to answer what if the answer would still be no? is it even possible to put out the past that completely?
so then my question I suppose is how to piece after the initial piecing? when the "pressure" seems to be off the was to "win" you back again is gone and things seem to drift back toward that dangerous comfort zone?
what to do with a partner who isn't "active" in the piecing proccess.
How to heal on your own (without need for reassurance from returned was)
