I haven't updated in a while. There isn't whole lot going on at the time and even now not much is happening.
My ATTY is sending the numbers to my W's ATTY in regards to my retirement funds and see what gives in regards to a settlement. That is if there is a reply from my W's ATTY.
When I first retained my ATTY he sent a letter to my W's ATTY notifying him that he is representing me in the D. My ATTY also added that I needed the title of my car transferred to my name and would he make arrangements for my W to contact me so we could setup a time to do the transfer. That was in back in March and no reply has been received.
My ATTY remarked in an email that they weren't in any rush to move the D forward and asked if I had spoken to my W. I told my ATTY that I had spoken to my W in months. The last time I spoke to her was in December '07. I don't know what's up I just think my W is not bothered about getting the D as she has more important things to do. I imagine she will get around to it sooner or later.
Other than that I am doing quite well. Riding (motorcycle) season is here. I am involved in some of the ministries at my church and I continue to grow in my relationship with Jesus even if there are some stumbles along the way. So all in all I am feeling pretty good. I hope for many on this board that they to will find themselves on the other side of the D (I know I am not there yet but the end is coming) doing well with their lives.
I hope you have a good night and may God bless you.
You sound good, like life is progressing. As you move through this final phase, the reality of the marriage being over becomes more into focus. Thereafter, more healing can take place.
Keep loving, keep serving and you will see that He will be faithful to meet the desires of your heart.
As for me, life is good. Lots of healing, lots of good times in the Lord. Life goes on!
Committed2Him- "C2H" All Things (Back from Spain!)...18
C2H, I stopped by your thread tonight and seen that you are doing quite well yourself which says alot about how God takes care of His children.
I feel things for me are just fine. I am not sure how I will feel once the D is final but I cannot see much difference in how I feel or how my life will change. It has been four and a half years since my W left so I don't have much left in the emotion tank.
My ATTY is sending the letter out so it is just a waiting game to see if there is a response.
There is some thing about the D becoming final that affects us and saddens us, even after 4 years. But like you said, seeing how faithful God is to take care of His children is always encouraging.
Your turn will come.
Committed2Him- "C2H" All Things (Back from Spain!)...18
I know you are right when you say that the D affects us in some way. It probably is much like losing a loved one unexpectedly. There will be some part of our lives that only heal as scars and I think getting a D is one of them.
The sadness you mentioned is something I feel when I look at my sitch and how the M just crumbled and died and yes it is sad and I imagine when my D is finalized this is the feeling I will have.
What I was trying to say when I said "I don't have much left in the emotion tank" was that the intense emotions that I experienced at the beginning of the separation won't be there when the D is final. Maybe sadness is the only emotion I have left to express how I feel about the demise of my M.
I still pray for the healing of my M even though I don't think my W will return. I am beginning to wonder if I want her to return. But I don't think of my sitch too much. Which is probably why my emotions aren't so strong concerning my M. I am just trying to live life as God would have me live and go wherever He takes me.
C2H, I read your posts and you have been through so much. Just thinking how you were able to return to your W only to have the separation happen all over again. Then the D. You have the difficulty of being separated from your children and still be a devoted father. You still have to come in contact with your XW who seems to only want to stir up conflict. And yet your posts are so uplifting and as someone else said inspiring. It truly is a work of God in your life. Even though I know this I am still amazed at what God can do in one's life.
I thank God for you, C2H and I am always thankful for your advice you have been a big help to me.
I spoke to my W for the first since last December. My car may have finally reached its end and the title is in both of our names and I need it transferred to my name in case I need to sell the car for parts or scrap.
My W agreed to meet next Tuesday to get the title transferred. We also both agreed that this sitch has gone on long enough and expressed a desire to bring it to an end. The irony is that it is my W who has dragged it out as I have not stood in the way of the D.
I have prayed for a different end but my W seems committed to the D no matter how slow it has progressed. She has already switched back to her maiden name and I suspect she is involved in an R.
Anyway the end may be near and while I won't be glad it is over I will be relieved.
I have been away from the boards, extremely busy with work and church. Just a quick note of encouragement. Having things formalized will allow you to move further along in the healing, you will be more free to move on with your life.
You already know to continue to grow in your faith and you will see what God has in store for you. You also already know that Romans 5:28 is my life verse and I KNOW it will hold true for you as well if you keep your eyes on Him. Bless you and I will pray for you as you go through this final phase.
Committed2Him- "C2H" All Things (Back from Spain!)...18
Thanks for the encouragement and the prayers C2H. I appreciate both more than you know.
I have been away from the boards for a while myself. I too have been busy especially last month. But it has been a good busy. God knows how to keep me occupied and focused on Him though I do tend to get wrapped up in my own world from time to time. I am thankful that He is a patient and gracious God.
According to my last post I was to meet my W on a Tuesday to transfer the title of the car. It turns out that I planned to be out of town that day and I forgot about it when I planned to meet my W, so obviously we did not meet.
I called and emailed my W at various times to meet me for transferring the title of the car and there has been no response from her to either calls or email.
This past month my finances have melted down as fast as our economy due to my car having major problems. Long story short I spent about 2 grand on the car and all it does is sit in my parking pad taking up space. I ended up buying another used car so I wouldn't be financially burdened. The plan is to scrap the old car and recoup some of the money I had put in it the last month.
I can't sell the car out right since my W won't transfer the title to my name. Anyway it can be scrapped without the title.
Since my W has not been responsive my ATTY suggested finalizing the D and if my W does not respond to the filing then I can be divorced and won't have a payout. If my W does respond then it is back to square one.
There everyone is caught up and may God bless you.
ok, so all that residue will eventually get settled. In the mean time, it is an opportunities for the enemy to irritate you, get you into a pity party mindset or stir up bitterness. When you see it as such, it is easier to put it all in its proper place.
So, all that aside, how is the rest of your life going? What are you doing for entertainment? Social life? Relaxation?
For too long and for too many of us, our lives consist of the drama we are dealing with. Growing past that is quite exciting. So what is going on?
Committed2Him- "C2H" All Things (Back from Spain!)...18
I hope all is well. I did notice that you will be traveling soon. I will pray that you will have a safe, enjoyable, and exciting trip.
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In the mean time, it is an opportunities for the enemy to irritate you, get you into a pity party mindset or stir up bitterness.
I don't have pity parties in relation to the D (that's all in the past). Other aspects of my life they do occasionally happen, unfortunately. But they do not last long once I focus on the grace that has been given to me by Jesus Christ. He has been too good to me for me to waste too much of my time on pity parties.
Bitterness on the other hand tends to rear it's ugly head quite often and it is usually born of the frustration I have regarding my sitch. For it to have dragged on for as long as it has and without me resisting in anyway other than prayer and DBing really makes me wonder why my W has not been more aggressive in getting the D that she wants.
I pray almost everyday for forgiveness for my bitterness and have to be reminded that God is sovereign and in control of this sitch. After all, I made the decision a long time ago to place my sitch in His hands and do whatever I can for my part and leave the rest up to Him.
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So, all that aside, how is the rest of your life going? What are you doing for entertainment? Social life? Relaxation?
The rest of my life overall is good mainly due to my relationship with Christ. I am still looking for a job closer to home from time to time. As for entertainment and relaxation I ride my motorcycle as often as I can, watch movies and read.
My social life consists mainly of events that my church or my chapter of Christian Motorcyclists Association have going on. I also meet with my Growth Group (Bible Study) twice a month plus the occasional visit with family.
At the moment nothing is going on other than what I have mentioned above which keeps me pretty busy from time to time. After 3 years I met my neighbors that live across the street from me. Given that I am pretty introverted and hardly ever home it is not really that bad it took me 3 years to meet them.
My anniversary was yesterday. Eighteen years with the last 5 years (almost) being separated. I wonder sometimes if my W thinks of things like our anniversary. Does she remember any of the good times we had? Does she ever wonder what would have happened if she returned? Does she think her life is better off having made the decisions she has? It certainly is possible that she is much better off than she was with me. But that is all water under the bridge. Most of it anyway.
My hope is in Christ and not in my W or my M. My separation was the hardest and worst part of my life and I could not have made it this far without Jesus being by my side. He is my hope and my joy.
I don't know what will take place in my life after the D but I do know I won't be going it alone and that is what makes the future exciting.
