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#1591995 - 09/14/08 11:55 PM A Military Spouse
StrgMarvelousWmn Offline
Member

Registered: 04/02/08
Posts: 4045
Loc: Virginia
The Military Spouse

By Colonel Steven Arrington

Over the years, I've talked a lot about military spouses ... how special they are and the price they pay for freedom too. The funny thing about it, is most military spouses don't consider themselves different from other spouses. They do what they have to do, bound together, not by blood, or, merely friendship, but with a shared spirit, whose origin is in the very essence of what love truly is. They receive no special pay, nor compensation. They simple do it. Is there truly a difference? I think there is.

You have to decide for yourself
.
Other spouses get married and look forward to building equity in a home and putting down family roots.
Military spouses get married and know they'll live in base housing or rent, and their roots must be short so, they can be transplanted frequently.

Other spouses decorate a home with flair and personality that will last a lifetime.
Military spouses decorate a home with a flare, tempered with the knowledge that, no two base houses have the same size windows, or same size rooms. Curtains have to be flexible and multiple sets are a plus. Furniture must fit like puzzle pieces.

Other spouses say good-bye to their spouse for a business trip and know they won't see them for a week. They are lonely, but can survive.
Military spouses say good-bye to their deploying spouse and know they won't see them for months, or for a remote, a year. They are lonely, but will survive.

Other spouses get used to saying "hello" to friends they see all the time.
Military spouses get used to saying "good-bye" to friends made in the last two years.

Other spouses can count on spouse participation in special events...birthdays, anniversaries, concerts, football games, graduation, and even the birth of a child.
Military spouses only count on each other; because they realize that the Flag has to come first if freedom is to survive.

It has to be that way.

Other spouses put up yellow ribbons when the troops are imperiled across the globe and take them down when the troops come home.
Military spouses wear yellow ribbons around their hearts and they never go away.

Other spouses worry about being late for mom's Thanksgiving dinner.
Military spouses worry about getting back from Japan in time for dad's funeral.

Other spouses are touched by the television program showing a lady putting a card down in front of a long, black wall that has names on it. The card simply says, "Happy Birthday, Sweetheart. You would have been sixty today."

A military spouse is the lady with the card. And the wall is the Vietnam Memorial.

I would never say military spouses are better or worse than other spouses are. But, I will say there is a difference. And I will say that our country asks more of military spouses than is asked of other spouses. And I will say without hesitation, that military spouses pay just as high a price for freedom as do their active duty husbands or wives.

Perhaps the price they pay is even higher. Dying in service to our country isn't nearly as hard as, loving someone who has died in service to our country and having to live without them.

God bless our military spouses for ALL they freely give!

-----------------------------------------------------------------
Our saga thus far:

Never Knew Heartbreak Hurt This Bad
Haze Grey and Underway--Can We Talk
Anchors Aweigh
Man the Rails and Give no Quarter
Between the Devil and the Deep
I Always Admired the Cut of His Jib
Why Did She Marry A Sailor
Welcome To The GoatLocker
How Long Have You Been a Sailor?
Street Girls Bringing Sailors Into Hotel--
Gee, I Wish I Were A Man, I’d Join The Navy
Navy Wife—Toughest Job In The Fleet
When God Created the Navy Wife
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I have to admit, I am beginning to think that the mods are bugging my house, as they seem to know the perfect time to lock my threads. Today was awful, interesting, and I almost got expectations. I will post on it in a separate post.

SMW
_________________________
M40/H36
T16/M14
4K
B2/08
S4/08
current

Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through
every circumstance.
I Corinthians 13:7




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#1592008 - 09/15/08 12:07 AM Re: A Military Spouse [Re: StrgMarvelousWmn]
S.T. _I Made It! Offline
Member

Registered: 05/21/06
Posts: 3933
Loc: Tulsa
oooh, do I actually get to be the first???

is this the drinking thread??? lol I'll have a frozen sangria margarita, had that last night, it was pretty yummy!

just want to say that was a beautiful poem, and you use your words well. Your H is very lucky to have you standing by him, and supporting him as you have and are. and I know he is thinking this deep in his heart as well.

on your d8, I would encourage to continue seeking out answers from specialists and when you find out what she DOES have, if she does have a problem, to then research on your own for the answers. I hate seeing children just put on drugs when there are much healthier options to try first. I think drugs can be useful when used as a final step. I would love to help research if you'd be interested too. It can be a frightening thing when your child is so young, but being young can also be a good thing if you get the help she needs now instead of when she's a teen and that could be very difficult.

very cool to see another email for you!!! I know things will continue to grow in regards to your R with H. and during this time, the enemy may feel to strike, so don't let him bring you down!!! I know you won't though, you are so strong.
_________________________
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3
M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs)
EA/PA 1/2006
DB 5/2006
H wants D 6/2006
H wants ME 8/2006
H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006
H erased OW off phone! 2/2007

"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."

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#1592034 - 09/15/08 12:41 AM Re: A Military Spouse [Re: StrgMarvelousWmn]
StrgMarvelousWmn Offline
Member

Registered: 04/02/08
Posts: 4045
Loc: Virginia
SO, I woke up this morning, a little bit before 8am. I logged into the computer to read my "Charlyne Cares" for the day, as well as see what all else showed up in my inbox overnight. Well, Charlyne had missed our morning date, but H had sent me an email very early this morning--around 6:45am or so.

Here it is:

Quote:
Good morning! We got about 2 hours of sleep last night. This is some crazy [censored] but, it will be over soon. I don’t have the time to do much outside of this whole process right now. I don’t have any personal photos that I can put in the charge book. I was wondering if you could forward any digital photos you have to me. I would only attach one photo per email because of the size and delay it would cause. I’m having a hard time coming up with quality info to put on BF’s page and I don’t feel good about bringing the book to him for signing right now. I have no choice though because today is the last day that I have a chance, so I’ll see what happens. I’ll talk to you later. I have got to get busy.


Once I realized what it was he was looking for in the pictures--personal, family pictures--I got to work. I did not think this was any big deal, until I actually started going through the pictures. Oh that was so hard, guys! I cannot even begin to tell you. I was being expected to go through all of the important moments in my life and pick out the best ones, all to send to someone who no longer considers them important. It took everything I had to not send him an email telling him that I couldn't do it, it was too hard emotionally. But, I didn't. I managed to go through 7 years of pictures and find 23 that told the story of us.

It was not until later, when I was telling my cousin about it, that I realized how completely unfair it was of him to even ask me to do it. I was so sad.

SMW
_________________________
M40/H36
T16/M14
4K
B2/08
S4/08
current

Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through
every circumstance.
I Corinthians 13:7




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#1592042 - 09/15/08 12:50 AM Re: A Military Spouse [Re: S.T. _I Made It!]
StrgMarvelousWmn Offline
Member

Registered: 04/02/08
Posts: 4045
Loc: Virginia
Originally Posted By: S.T. _I Made It!
oooh, do I actually get to be the first???

is this the drinking thread??? lol I'll have a frozen sangria margarita, had that last night, it was pretty yummy!
Consider your drink served! So glad you got here first. Stick around, there is more excitement to come.

Quote:
just want to say that was a beautiful poem, and you use your words well. Your H is very lucky to have you standing by him, and supporting him as you have and are. and I know he is thinking this deep in his heart as well.
I hope you are right about him thinking. When you read the other email, I will look forward to your opinion.

Quote:
on your d8, I would encourage to continue seeking out answers from specialists and when you find out what she DOES have, if she does have a problem, to then research on your own for the answers. I hate seeing children just put on drugs when there are much healthier options to try first. I think drugs can be useful when used as a final step. I would love to help research if you'd be interested too. It can be a frightening thing when your child is so young, but being young can also be a good thing if you get the help she needs now instead of when she's a teen and that could be very difficult.
I plan to explore all of my options in regards to her treatment. I want to do what is the absolute best for you.

Quote:
very cool to see another email for you!!! I know things will continue to grow in regards to your R with H. and during this time, the enemy may feel to strike, so don't let him bring you down!!! I know you won't though, you are so strong.
Well, wait til you see the newest email. I am praying and standing strong.

SMW
_________________________
M40/H36
T16/M14
4K
B2/08
S4/08
current

Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through
every circumstance.
I Corinthians 13:7




Top
#1592051 - 09/15/08 01:06 AM Re: A Military Spouse [Re: StrgMarvelousWmn]
StrgMarvelousWmn Offline
Member

Registered: 04/02/08
Posts: 4045
Loc: Virginia
Well, I finished sending the emails around 4:30, then went over my mom's for a couple of hours. I got back home, gave the kids a bath, and jumped back on the computer to see what everyone has been up to.

While I was putting them to bed, H sent me another email. This is what it said:

Quote:
SMW,

Thank you very much for the photos. I sent the one I got from BF to Chief J in the Photo Shop and he printed a glossy for me. I finally got a hold of BF today, too late in my eyes. I spent a little over an hour with him in private and it was one of the best moments of my life. I had a revelation earlier this morning when I was talking with AT1 L in the shop. It also had a little to do with a conversation I had with AT1 R the night before. They always say you have to be there for your people and take care of them. That’s a popular quote that’s open to interpretation. How far will you actually go to “take care” of that person. I was working on 3 hours of sleep and racing to hit the sack because I wouldn’t get much more than that again. I saw AT1 R sitting over by the coffee mess in shop 8. She was just staring at the floor and I could tell she needed someone to talk to. I stopped, made a cup of coffee and took 30 minutes to talk with her and I’m glad I did. She doesn’t have any children of her own so she considers her nieces and nephews to be her kids and she was missing them very much. The conversation turned her evening around and she got out of that chair rejuvenated. She took that new attitude out to the work floor and used it to motivate her people.

I guess what I’m saying is that I’ve always interpreted “take care of your people” to be, at my convenience. I realize now, looking back, how I’ve carried that same attitude with the kids, friends, everyone. I had to go through this process to learn that work will always be there, but people won’t. If you aren’t there for them, to take care of them, listen to them, you’ll loose them. The work will still be there when they’re gone, but you just lost something very precious. I’ll write more about that when we get done with the induction process. In the mean time, if you could tell the kids I love them and I will sign up for the “United Through Reading” program after this process is done. You guys take care, stay safe, and I’ll talk to you soon.

Husband


I am not sure how to take this. I have talked to a few friends and they have all said that this is a very positive email. I do not know. I am confused, though, and nervous, too, because I do not know what he is going to drop on me after induction. I know you guys say no expectations and I did not have any. However, courtesy of no expectations, this email hit me like a brick in the face. So, now what?

SMW

_________________________
M40/H36
T16/M14
4K
B2/08
S4/08
current

Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through
every circumstance.
I Corinthians 13:7




Top
#1592062 - 09/15/08 01:29 AM Re: A Military Spouse [Re: StrgMarvelousWmn]
Sara Offline
Member

Registered: 06/10/07
Posts: 6350
Loc: Tampa, FL
To me it sounds like he is finally seeing that he has something to lose at home, and he needs to pay attention to it -- his family. I know you don't want to get your hopes up. But I think your prayers are working. Or maybe it was your stretches, and your emotional support through his promotion.

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#1592103 - 09/15/08 05:00 AM Re: A Military Spouse [Re: StrgMarvelousWmn]
Kalni Offline
Member

Registered: 01/20/08
Posts: 10259
Originally Posted By: sadmilitarywife
I realize now, looking back, how I have carried that same attitude with the kids, friends, everyone. I had to go through this process to learn that work will always be there, but people wont. If you arent there for them, to take care of them, listen to them, youll loose them.

Hon, if he has THAT figured out, then your prayers are working...
No expectations but faith that he finds his way. I so hope your H gets to finally see what he has is worth more than he could ever give.
Love
K
_________________________
Me&H:42
S11&D10
Bomb 5/2007-Sep 11/2007
Reconc.November 2009

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#1592115 - 09/15/08 05:49 AM Re: A Military Spouse [Re: Kalni]
Arthur Offline
Member

Registered: 03/30/08
Posts: 2072
Wow - That is quite touching. I agree it's cleverly worded but the fact he is opening up his deep emotional thoughts is something good.

Small step, keep DBing and let it run it's course. I've often had what I thought smal positives, so be careful, they often get followed by a big withdrawal or something. Not to be negative, but just be prepared. It's still a roller coaster remember and you cannot see when the next big dip is coming.

GL

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#1592125 - 09/15/08 06:49 AM Re: A Military Spouse [Re: StrgMarvelousWmn]
ernest88 Offline
Member

Registered: 03/18/08
Posts: 5045
Quote:
I am not sure how to take this.


you take it for what it is. It's an email he sent. These things make your mind race.

there are parts of you mind that are the enemy right now. Don't let it wander. Be glad that he sent this to YOU and that he can "see" some of what he is about and what he has done.

It is what it is..

go get em..and stay the course.

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#1592241 - 09/15/08 10:22 AM Re: A Military Spouse [Re: ernest88]
stella_k Offline
Member

Registered: 01/30/08
Posts: 898
SMW,

Quote:
you take it for what it is. It's an email he sent. These things make your mind race.


I agree!

Still, I'd say it's very positive one :).

(((Big Hug)))
_________________________
I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders
____________________________________________________
M 46
H 45
D 17
M/T 23
Bomb #1 (ILYBNILWY) 12.06
Bomb #2 (OW) 12.07
Bomb #3 (chose OW over M) 9.08

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