Yeah, my pastor and my entire family would disown me if I was learning astrology. I'm thinking of just getting more informed in general about it. People have interpreted signs from the stars for millenia so who am I to question that. I don't think it's the end all be all, it could be taken so many ways. I just think there is an energy out there that IMO is controlled by God and maybe the stars are his way of communicating that to us. Just a strange thought I had once.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Hey, sweetie! I'm caught up and you've had a lot going on for sure. Congrats on the job! That will be so very good for you and lead to many new possibilities.
I'm sorry about BF's distance, but as I discussed in therapy today, you've got to remember this is NOTHING about you at all. You've done what you can do and if it is over, then you can walk away w/ your head held high b/c you tried everything you could.
If you've played all your cards and have done all you could, there isn't anything else you can do. You are only 1/2 of the equation and BF is the other part. Don't put too much stock in his not contacting you as it will only tie you up in knots. Instead, go live for Ali, have fun and keep smiling whenever you get a chance.
So, continue to move forward and focus on you and you alone. I love your going out w/ new people at work and it will do nothing but wonders for your mental mindset. You only "fail" if you stop yourself from growing, changing, and moving forward.
How's the weather? Have you had any glimpses of summer yet? It seems like whenever you mention weather it is always pissing rain.
I hope you are resting well and getting ready for the end of your week. I'm glad I'm up to snuff w/ your sitch.
T, Santorini has a volcano. Actually Santorini (one of the most wonderful places in the world IMO) is an island formed AFTER the volcano exploded/errupted (I dont know how to say that). Perfect Summer vacation for Greece June 09. We'll go there. Everyone, make a note in your schedule, JUNE 2009=GREECE... S
Hey Kalni...thats where I was due to go with my ex, but I would still love to go to Santorini. I want to come this September, but I have no money! You said it just right, it has volcanic sand doesnt it? I love anything to do with volcanoes. T - its a volcanologist for volcanoes that are planets other than Earth, like the one on Jupiter! So collecting samples could be a problem
I've just been exam scribing for a dyslexic student, for a geology degree! ...had to wash my hair carefully this morning, falls out every time I touch it, didnt brush or style it (looks bad as well as thin now!) and got the doctors later. I feel that my body is making a cry for help. Everyone keeps telling me/expecting me to move on, get on, get going, do this do that and clearly, I have been struggling coping alone. I think my money worries and the properties are causing me stress and I am just so heartbroken. I was saying for months I felt like a broken woman, but I was enjoying all the attention from him, with him phoning me every day. It was the last straw when that stopped.
Thanks for your kind words Rob. I'm not so sure I did do all I can - one thing I didnt do, I wasnt honest! Even when he started R convos, I was so concenred with DBing that I wouldnt ask him a thing and just say "its ok, I'm here" and sort of cut it off by now paying full attention - it must have seemed to him? Not that it would change anything, as if you really wanted to be with someone, wild horses wouldnt stop you, hey.
I'm not going to contact him. He got what he wanted, its over.
You are making big strides for yourself. Just look at you! You've talked your way into a better position at work, you didn't give up on it! Good for you! The money problems are understandably a huge stressor. I thankfully rent my house so I don't have that worry but making the rent along with all the other bills is a huge issue for me so I understand the stress. I assume you have called your creditors and told them the situation so they will hopefully work with you on that. The mortgage companies here are hurting so badly that they are making all sorts of payment plans that they never would have before just to keep people for ducking out in the middle of the night and the house falling into foreclosure. I heard they were having the same kinds of problems there.
You will grow through this Ali. You just have to want it and work toward it.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Hey girls... Thankyou Mishka, good idea, I gues I'm trying to just pay everything as normal for now, its stressful! We have several mortages that came off cheap fixed rates and shot up, so yes, hit us hard and the rents dont cover, arrghh! I just had a meeting about the new job, its a big deal, to build the knowledge database for the whole of Cornwall government issues for staff and public! So I asked for more money..and they said yes! Cant believe it. I am such a jammy dodger. I did push myself forward though (see, I said I never give up!)
Thats why its so hard to give up on him...but for once, all my best efforts have got me nowhere. He DID email me yesterday about the house afterall! He emailed first thing this morning to say sorry, the server didnt send his email yesterday and so he pasted it below. Was polite but again, no, hope you're ok, no questions, but he did thank me for sorting out both lots of tenants and to thank my Dad.
He certainly decided to put distance between us, and has stuck to it.
Focus on you, give it some time WITHOUT overanalysing everything. See where it goes. If he decided to really end this you will know. In your shoes, I would prefer ANY clear decision than being in a limbo state for much longer. You havent yet, figured a way to deal with that. It's killing you. I am just not sure he is capable of making any decision at the moment. So, what do you do? Focus on your new job, check out any snakes in the area and save to come to Greece. Love K
