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#1570682 - 08/26/08 12:41 AM Gee, I Wish I Were A Man, I'd Join the Navy!
StrgMarvelousWmn Offline
Member

Registered: 04/02/08
Posts: 4045
Loc: Virginia
This is the slogan on my favorite World War 2 Navy recruiting poster.

The saga thus far:
Never Knew Heartbreak Hurt This Bad
Haze Grey and Underway--Can We Talk
Anchors Aweigh
Man the Rails and Give no Quarter
Between the Devil and the Deep
I Always Admired the Cut of His Jib
Why Did She Marry A Sailor
Welcome To The GoatLocker
How Long Have You Been a Sailor?
Street Girls Bringing Sailors Into Hotel--

I wanted to get this opened up. I will post tomorrow, but today was awful and very very wierd. I was wishing for somebody's phone number--ST, Amy, Mike, Brian, Ian, goldey--anyone! I am tired and need to get some sleep. S2 goes to the eye doctor early tomorrow morning. I will post after I get back home from that--If I do not get up at o dark thirty again tomorrow.

H is on leave--part of the awful and very wierd. The cruise date HAS been changed and yes, they are leaving 5 days sooner than planned originally.

I will catch up with everyone tomorrow.

SMW

_________________________
M40/H36
T16/M14
4K
B2/08
S4/08
current

Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through
every circumstance.
I Corinthians 13:7




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#1570696 - 08/26/08 12:56 AM Re: Gee, I Wish I Were A Man, I'd Join the Navy! [Re: StrgMarvelousWmn]
Racefan Offline
Member

Registered: 05/05/08
Posts: 1312
Sis...

First...but at this point it doesn't matter...

If you are in the other world I will be more than happy to give you mine just let me know...

Breath girl breath with me and stay calm together we all will figure it out...

Try and sleep a tired mind will not help take it from me...

Peace be in your heart tonight...

Father please watch over one of your flock in her time of need and ease her heart to follow your path and give her the strength to face the demons that have shown themselves...

HUGS and LOVE

Bro
_________________________
Me:46/W:38
D:18/D:12
Bomb: 08/27/07
Seperated: 05/17/08
M:9/T:13

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#1570701 - 08/26/08 01:03 AM Re: Gee, I Wish I Were A Man, I'd Join the Navy! [Re: Racefan]
StrgMarvelousWmn Offline
Member

Registered: 04/02/08
Posts: 4045
Loc: Virginia
Hey bro--check your inbox.

You were first, what would you like to drink? I am still drinking regular iced tea.

Sis
_________________________
M40/H36
T16/M14
4K
B2/08
S4/08
current

Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through
every circumstance.
I Corinthians 13:7




Top
#1571026 - 08/26/08 11:49 AM Re: Gee, I Wish I Were A Man, I'd Join the Navy! [Re: StrgMarvelousWmn]
StrgMarvelousWmn Offline
Member

Registered: 04/02/08
Posts: 4045
Loc: Virginia
Home from the eye doctor with S2. What a wasted trip! The insurance company had not updated the referrral yet. SIGH Now I need to resolve this issue, too. I am going to check, though, cause I am almost positive the ins. co. sent me my copy, so why does the Dr's office not have theirs????

I had a minor backslide yesterday. Well, no maybe not, as I never got angry, I never raised my voice, and H was incredibly nice to me last night.

H got home from work around 5. It was definitely a late day for him. He checked out on leave yesterday and does not have to check back in until the morning of the 7th. The ship will be deploying earlier than originally planned and the leave period has been cut short because of it. H was ticked about this, and I think he is having to reconcile himself to some choices he made. I could literally feel the tension and stress when he came in the house and I fought to stay calm in the face of it.

We were sitting in the living room talking while dinner finished. H said that he would not be here this week. I asked would he be here for S2 appointment in the morning--No he will not. Would he be here for D5's first day of school next week? No he would not be home until that evening and he would stay here until he had to go to the ship for deployment.

H: It is not fair that they are cutting the leave period short. I will not have as much time with the kids.

M: That is your choice, you could have this week with the kids, too.

H: My plans are already made, I did not think they would change the cruise date.

M: Yes, but a week ago, you complained about the air wing not letting selectees have leave at all, as POM leave is for family time before deployment. You are choosing to not have that family time and to be elsewhere when you could be here.

At that, I got up and walked back into the kitchen and finished dinner. H set the table when I put the dishes out, offered to get me a drink, complimented the roast all through dinner, cleaned up the dishes after, and was generally helpful--more so than he has been lately. Guilt??

He made a comment near the end of dinner than he was not feeling well--headache, upset stomach, generally feeling like crap. Was laying on the sofa when I came in from smoking after dinner. H moved over so I could sit down near him. Asked if his head felt warm, and moved close so I could check.

The kids talked him into taking them to the park. After he left, I knew I needed to get out of the house before he came back. The house felt oppressive and like it was closing in on me. I know, in my heart, it was the enemy trying to force me into a confrontation with H. I grabbed my purse and headed out the front door, not sure where I was going. When I got in the car, I remembered that there is supposed to be a prayer meeting at church on Monday night. I headed there, hoping that there was still a meeting. Even if there wasn't, I was planning to kneel outside the door and pray until I found peace.

The meeting was still there and though there were only four prayer warriors there, I could not have asked for four better ones to be with me when I needed them. They prayed for me, for H, for the kids, for my marriage, for the OW. We all prayed in accordance for the better part of 45 minutes. I left he church renewed, strengthened, and restored.

While I was in the church, H called my phone twice from his cell, then three times from the hosue line, and finally a call came in from D16's cell. Because my vocie was still tear frogged, Isent hera texttelling her Iwas fine, but to not tell her dad she had heard from em yet. She immediately called my phone. Said when she got home form the mall, H asked if she had heard from me, I was not here, was not answering the phone, and he had no idea where I was. D16 and BF both said H appeared worried that he could not reach me. I told her again I was fine and I would be home in a bit.

I drove to the park and sat in the car reading my Bible. I read Psalms 91, the scripture God sent to me to comfort me in the past. I composed myself, fixed my makeup and gave the redness a chance to get out of my eyes. Once I could speak clearly, I returned H's call.

H: Hey!

M: Hey, I was just returning your call, I saw a missed call on my phone.

H: Yeah, you weren't home when the kids and I got back. I wantd to check and see if everything was okay. I got you a slurpee when I stopped to get the kids one. Want me to put it in the freezer?

M: Yes, that will be fine. I just had some things that I needed to take care of. I will be home in a little bit.

H: Okay. I will see you in a bit then?

M: Yes, I'll be home shortly. Bye

H: Bye drive safely.


I also called my GF and talked to her about whathad happened. She said she is not surprised by this and I need to have faith that he will realize the OW for what she is this week and end it with her. I am hopeful but know not to have expectations.

When I got home, H quickly said Hi and asked if everything was okay. I reiterated that I was fine, just had some things to take care of. I had a lit cigarette, so I headed out back with it. When I came in, I sat down on the sofa. H was playing a game with D8. I noticed the laundry hamper downstairs, too. I asked H abotu it, he said he noticed it was getting full (two loads) so he threw in some laundry for me. As he was pulling it out of the dryer and put it on the sofa to fold it, I reached over to help and he thanked me for helping, then put it all away where it belonged, too. WTH??? More guilt, right?

Everytime I got up to head upstairs he asked where I was going. If I headed out for a cigarette, he came with me. this went on for 2 and a half hours, until he took a shower and went to bed.

He was gone when I got up at 7:30 this morning.

Another day marked off my dwindling calendar, and an upcoming week with no H here. I have considered going completely dark--not answering the phones while he was gone, NC at all.


SMW









_________________________
M40/H36
T16/M14
4K
B2/08
S4/08
current

Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through
every circumstance.
I Corinthians 13:7




Top
#1571049 - 08/26/08 12:01 PM Re: Gee, I Wish I Were A Man, I'd Join the Navy! [Re: StrgMarvelousWmn]
ernest88 Offline
Member

Registered: 03/18/08
Posts: 5045
hey, Brian has my numbers. get them from him and you call anytime.

my email is also over there..

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#1571064 - 08/26/08 12:11 PM Re: Gee, I Wish I Were A Man, I'd Join the Navy! [Re: ernest88]
StrgMarvelousWmn Offline
Member

Registered: 04/02/08
Posts: 4045
Loc: Virginia
Okay Mike, I will. Like I told Brian, I may not have had you guys but I did one better and went right to our Father. He has it under control.

SMW
_________________________
M40/H36
T16/M14
4K
B2/08
S4/08
current

Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through
every circumstance.
I Corinthians 13:7




Top
#1571065 - 08/26/08 12:11 PM Re: Gee, I Wish I Were A Man, I'd Join the Navy! [Re: StrgMarvelousWmn]
The Wifey Offline
Member

Registered: 06/20/08
Posts: 2306
Loc: Upstate NY
SMW

Is the upcoming week scary because you think he will be with her? Is she even still in the picture? I don't blame you for being upset. You handled it really well. I know you teared up and were upset. But, he didn't know that.

What are his plans that he already had made? Did he tell you what they were? Or are you getting yourself upset by fortune telling. I only ask so I can understand.
_________________________
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08,
S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012!
Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.


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#1571075 - 08/26/08 12:17 PM Re: Gee, I Wish I Were A Man, I'd Join the Navy! [Re: The Wifey]
StrgMarvelousWmn Offline
Member

Registered: 04/02/08
Posts: 4045
Loc: Virginia
He would not tell me anything. I know he did a search on the house computer for directions to the airport from the place where we pay the water bill--which was due today.

I am almost positive she is still in the picture. He has to go out "to the store" in the evenings when he is here and is gone for an hour each time. I do think he will be with her. I am just hopeful that it will be miserable and he will come to a realization about what his choice of her is doing to his relationship with his kids.

I do think I handled it well and H has no idea exactly how upset I was and even still am a bit. But, I HAD toget out of here last night or I knew I would say somethign that would be hurtful and i would not be able to take it back.

SMW
_________________________
M40/H36
T16/M14
4K
B2/08
S4/08
current

Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through
every circumstance.
I Corinthians 13:7




Top
#1571119 - 08/26/08 12:46 PM Re: Gee, I Wish I Were A Man, I'd Join the Navy! [Re: StrgMarvelousWmn]
The Wifey Offline
Member

Registered: 06/20/08
Posts: 2306
Loc: Upstate NY
I'm so proud of you for how you handled this. And I am so glad he was concerned where you were and if you were ok.
_________________________
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08,
S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012!
Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.


Top
#1571134 - 08/26/08 12:58 PM Re: Gee, I Wish I Were A Man, I'd Join the Navy! [Re: The Wifey]
StrgMarvelousWmn Offline
Member

Registered: 04/02/08
Posts: 4045
Loc: Virginia
Thanks KellyJo. I just knew that to overreact-to really have any major reaction-would kill all that I have accomplished.

I am glad, too. I know it is because he is starting to feel some guilt for what he is doing. He could not look me in the eye, could not do enough to help out.

A lightning bolt of clarity would be great right abotu now.

SMW
_________________________
M40/H36
T16/M14
4K
B2/08
S4/08
current

Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through
every circumstance.
I Corinthians 13:7




Top
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