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Just my 2 cents here, & a hijack....sorry Tim, it's late, & I'm getting goofy.

Men don't ask if they're fat because they're in denial. lol

Society teaches that a womans value increases with her appearance. No wonder we need constant reassurance. I do have the body of a model, & still want compliments. ;\)

Man rules are totally confusing to women. Like...why do guys laugh when another guy gets hurt ?

Women with healthy self-esteem want direct communication, & can say things like..."please wash my car", or "I'd like to make love". Women with esteem or self-worth issues go in circles to get to their point because they fear rejection & denial. Women with healthy assertiveness don't need to hold onto things & wait for them to fester & blow. Women with healthy assertiveness handle things quickly, without strong emotional outburst, & don't take things personally.

Men should always apologize. ;\)

"Do you love me?" is a frightening question for a lot of people. That's why in a healthy relationship we should tell them we love them, every single day. So they don't need to wonder or ask.


M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months
4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10
I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
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Thanks to all the ladies out there your input and help is greatly appriciated.


Thread #10
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Originally Posted By: Distressed67
Thanks to all the ladies out there your input and help is greatly appriciated.


Tim..JMO, you can't win no matter how you answer. It's best to always tell her that she looks good. Of course I think it's always better if you can show them that they are beautiful instead of saying it.

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Originally Posted By: M from Tennessee
It's best to always tell her that she looks good. Of course I think it's always better if you can show them that they are beautiful instead of saying it.


How do you show someone they're beautiful?

AO

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Quote:
How do you show someone they're beautiful?


hey Tim, I'm answering a question here. You're in a good place. Stay the course.

I think you show her by being her best friend. I think you show her by "giving her the look". Now when I say "give her the look" I'm not talking about the 'sex look"..I'm talking about the look Tim gave his wife when he saw her coming down the aisle. Tim knows the look, his wife knows the look. He did not say a word, she took his breath away. Tim's heart skipped a beat. Some of US get so sappy that we even shed tears. It's the same look Tim has given her before, maybe at a dinner party or special occasion when she was across the room from him and he could not take his eyes off her. He may have told her both times that she looked beautiful, but she knew it even before he said it because he had given her the look that said, "you're beautiful" That's how he shows it. She sees it, it makes her feel good.

There are other actions that show her she's beautiful but would be considered pressure at the moment. Tim does not need to pressure so I won't mention them.

I don't consider "the look" as pressure.

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Originally Posted By: M from Tennessee
Quote:
How do you show someone they're beautiful?


hey Tim, I'm answering a question here. You're in a good place. Stay the course.

I think you show her by being her best friend. I think you show her by "giving her the look". Now when I say "give her the look" I'm not talking about the 'sex look"..I'm talking about the look Tim gave his wife when he saw her coming down the aisle. Tim knows the look, his wife knows the look. He did not say a word, she took his breath away. Tim's heart skipped a beat. Some of US get so sappy that we even shed tears. It's the same look Tim has given her before, maybe at a dinner party or special occasion when she was across the room from him and he could not take his eyes off her. He may have told her both times that she looked beautiful, but she knew it even before he said it because he had given her the look that said, "you're beautiful" That's how he shows it. She sees it, it makes her feel good.

There are other actions that show her she's beautiful but would be considered pressure at the moment. Tim does not need to pressure so I won't mention them.

I don't consider "the look" as pressure.



Sorry for asking that question, I'm feeling it was inappropriate. It was not my intention to make things uncomfortable.

AO

Last edited by alpha.omega62; 08/04/08 11:25 AM.
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I don't think it was inappropriate. I don't think the answer was either. Tim knows what I'm saying. If he does not then he will tell me, I'm sure.

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M,

I asked the question of you and your answer was based on Tim's M. You made the statement and I was just curious as to how you interpreted showing a woman she's beautiful.

You mentioned he was on a good course so you'd answer for him and he does not need pressure ATM. I took that as presenting an awkward question.

Just clarifying where I'm coming from. Thanks for your response to me.

AO

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Originally Posted By: alpha.omega62
M,

I asked the question of you and your answer was based on Tim's M. You made the statement and I was just curious as to how you interpreted showing a woman she's beautiful.

You mentioned he was on a good course so you'd answer for him and he does not need pressure ATM. I took that as presenting an awkward question.

Just clarifying where I'm coming from. Thanks for your response to me.

AO



Yes, I see.. I'm sorry. I did use Tim's M. I should have used mine. That was me. That was how I felt. That was my interpretation of showing a woman. I feel he is on a good course. It's not that he does not need pressure, it's that he does not need "to pressure" at the moment..You did nothing wrong. My explaination was wrong since I used Tim's M as an example.

The reason I said what I said about pressure is sometimes we try to push when we really should not. It's a man thing. I did not want Tim to read what I posted and think that's what he needed to do.

I attempted to answer a question and made a mess of it. Sorry for that AO and Tim I'm sorry I used your M as an example.

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Mike,

That is fine no need to appologize. I understand exactly what you are saying. I have that picture of my W at the wedding in May on my computer and look at her and think how beautiful she is to me. When I see her in person I give her a smile and hope she smiles back because it make me feel good.

So I understand exactly what look you are talking about.


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