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#1538276 - 07/29/08 11:52 PM Re: WITHDRAWAL/DEPRESSION #3 [Re: TRUSTING]
happynow Offline
Member

Registered: 02/25/08
Posts: 2099
Trusting,

I'm sure it is!! You just keep praying. Maybe go to a C or a pastor, just to have someone to talk to. Of course we are all here for you but it's not like sitting down with someone face to face.

I'm so excited for you but I'm sure you are in knots right now.

Just hang in there!!!!

((((HUGS)))))

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#1541282 - 07/31/08 09:53 PM Re: WITHDRAWAL/DEPRESSION #3 [Re: happynow]
TRUSTING Offline
Member

Registered: 11/03/07
Posts: 2549
All has been quiet in my sitch. No contact with ex for a couple of days. He has seemed to retreat in his cave.
_________________________
Me: 46 H:44
Together: 25 years
Married: 20 years
Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07
OW: EA began 2005
PA began end of 2006
3 children,20, 16, 6
ex asked for forgiveness
01/16/11


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#1543012 - 08/01/08 07:41 PM Re: WITHDRAWAL/DEPRESSION #3 [Re: TRUSTING]
TRUSTING Offline
Member

Registered: 11/03/07
Posts: 2549
O.k.

My daughter was suppose to go over my ex's today. She had a friend over and wanted to stay at my house longer. She called ex and he said that he did not want me dropping her off because he feels uncomfortable when he sees me. It put her in an awkward position so I called him and asked very calmly if he would not mind doing that to her. I said I am sorry he feels uncomfortable with me coming to his home, but we are adults and need to present a united front with the kids. We need to protect their psychological health. He said "you are probably right". I then asked him if there is anything I can do to make him feel more comfortable with the situation. He spewed a little about how this is all my lawyers fault and now he has to bust his ass for 4 years to get ahead financially. I said very nicely that eventually he needs to take some responsibility for his actions to help him heal. I thanked him and we said goodbye. Now I will be dropping my daughter off in about an hour. Weird Weird Weird
Last week he liked me so much, now I am the enemy again...
_________________________
Me: 46 H:44
Together: 25 years
Married: 20 years
Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07
OW: EA began 2005
PA began end of 2006
3 children,20, 16, 6
ex asked for forgiveness
01/16/11


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#1543036 - 08/01/08 07:58 PM Re: WITHDRAWAL/DEPRESSION #3 [Re: TRUSTING]
sleeper Offline
Member

Registered: 12/11/07
Posts: 1840
Loc: The Great State of Confusion
Trusting,

I love, "divorced but not done" in your profile.

As far as H's anger? Could be he needs to find something to be angry with you about to insulate himself. Could be OW has worked it up. (I'd bet on the former).

In either case you handled it well. The two of you are still "parents" no matter the outcome. Saying, "I don't want to see you" is very childish and even, if I dare say, sounds like something a "diva" would say.

You handled it very well.
_________________________
"Fear is the mind-killer" Muad'Dib
Me 53, XW 44, DD 14, DS 12
Bomb and OM 12/15/06
Separated 01/02/07
Divorced 05/13/08
X married OM(OMH) 08/2009
Married 06/09/13

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#1543093 - 08/01/08 08:56 PM Re: WITHDRAWAL/DEPRESSION #3 [Re: sleeper]
TRUSTING Offline
Member

Registered: 11/03/07
Posts: 2549
Thanks Sleeper,

When I dropped my daughter off, the OW's car was there. She is keeping a very tight lease on my ex. I think that is the reason why he did not want me over there. It causes fights between them. I did not push it and go in his house tonight. We did end up texting back and forth. Hopefully OW will see this and freak out. She has to feel very insecure right now. God knows she cannot trust him.
_________________________
Me: 46 H:44
Together: 25 years
Married: 20 years
Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07
OW: EA began 2005
PA began end of 2006
3 children,20, 16, 6
ex asked for forgiveness
01/16/11


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#1543133 - 08/01/08 09:32 PM Re: WITHDRAWAL/DEPRESSION #3 [Re: TRUSTING]
forward Offline
Member

Registered: 11/07/06
Posts: 4043
Trusting, It sounds as if you get exasperated when you hear H's complaining, or OF his complaining.
_________________________
M: 16 years
Bomb 4/07
OW 20s long gone
Divorced 11/09
X has major medical issues
New Woman - died.
Remarried to new guy
Cooperative r w/X regarding D


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#1543147 - 08/01/08 09:51 PM Re: WITHDRAWAL/DEPRESSION #3 [Re: forward]
peacetoday Offline
Member

Registered: 04/15/07
Posts: 2580
T
yes hopefully ow will see it the texting or sense it
and your right she cant trust him
she knows that first hand
peace
_________________________
married 14 years
H 42
bomb 2/07 IDLYA
D final 3 /09
M ow

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#1543205 - 08/01/08 11:14 PM Re: WITHDRAWAL/DEPRESSION #3 [Re: peacetoday]
TRUSTING Offline
Member

Registered: 11/03/07
Posts: 2549
No his complaining does not really bother me anymore.

I am beginning to learn how to deal with it and talk to him about it without him getting that upset.

I call this progress
_________________________
Me: 46 H:44
Together: 25 years
Married: 20 years
Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07
OW: EA began 2005
PA began end of 2006
3 children,20, 16, 6
ex asked for forgiveness
01/16/11


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#1543253 - 08/02/08 12:21 AM Re: WITHDRAWAL/DEPRESSION #3 [Re: TRUSTING]
glamgirl Offline
Member

Registered: 04/28/07
Posts: 3481
Trusting you are doing so well. This is progress. You can now discuss the kids without the yelling screaming storming off. You are right I am sure ow feels insecure.

Why the 2 of you seem to be getting along just fine and ow seems to be the one in the fights with xh. Hmmm how the table is flipped.
_________________________
Me 50
H 42
S 22
S 9
D 7
M 12
T 17
H moved out 8/2006
H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks
H moved home 5/2011 for good

"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"

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#1543404 - 08/02/08 08:47 AM Re: WITHDRAWAL/DEPRESSION #3 [Re: glamgirl]
TRUSTING Offline
Member

Registered: 11/03/07
Posts: 2549
Glam,

The table has flipped. In my talk with ex yesterday, he is clearly unhappy and stressed beyond belief. OW does not even want to see my car let alone my face when I drop the kids off. I know she is reading his texts and tried to read his emails. The tension with her is horrible. I am presenting a very calm and rational ex wife. I talk quiet and clear without raising my voice. I remember my pleases and thank yous. She is now demanding, irate, and selfish. Please pray for me.
_________________________
Me: 46 H:44
Together: 25 years
Married: 20 years
Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07
OW: EA began 2005
PA began end of 2006
3 children,20, 16, 6
ex asked for forgiveness
01/16/11


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