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#1532417 - 07/25/08 01:06 PM Re: SteelerFan New Thread 07/17/08 [Re: new_attitude]
glamgirl Offline
Member

Registered: 04/28/07
Posts: 3481
Steelers that is so sad in a way. You just want these h's to believe in themselves and to be able to heal from the past.

The "just be happy with you" strikes an interesting twist. Any hidden meaning under that? Anything your h wasn't happy with about you that you know of that your could demonstrate your change?

The healing from the past hurts is a big issue. That is what my h is dealing with now. I really wonder what it is going to take. Time helps, but there needs to be a will too!
_________________________
Me 50
H 42
S 22
S 9
D 7
M 12
T 17
H moved out 8/2006
H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks
H moved home 5/2011 for good

"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"

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#1532425 - 07/25/08 01:11 PM Re: SteelerFan New Thread 07/17/08 [Re: glamgirl]
MidwesternGirl Offline
Member

Registered: 01/16/06
Posts: 7941
Loc: SW USA
He has always maintained that we had a good marriage--he even told his probation officer all last year while meeting with her that he was happy, that we had NO problems, that he does not know why he ended up cheating on me. The PO told me these things and she also said not once did he bring up OW.

He cannot forgive himself and move past that. He never had self-esteem to begin with and now it is completely shattered.

And H tells me now that our marriage was good, that there are many things he loves about me, etc.
_________________________
The Bomb: 08/05
H moves out: 06/2006
H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07
H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08
H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09
Divorced 08-12
Kids: 22, 20, 19

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#1532427 - 07/25/08 01:11 PM Re: SteelerFan New Thread 07/17/08 [Re: MidwesternGirl]
MidwesternGirl Offline
Member

Registered: 01/16/06
Posts: 7941
Loc: SW USA
P.S.

God is really working on him and I will leave it at that. And I keep thinking about the Bible verse which says, "In nothing be anxious."

I am not worried as I know he will be home but it is not on my timing. Like I said, God still has work to do on my H.


Edited by steelersfan (07/25/08 01:13 PM)
_________________________
The Bomb: 08/05
H moves out: 06/2006
H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07
H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08
H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09
Divorced 08-12
Kids: 22, 20, 19

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#1532439 - 07/25/08 01:20 PM Re: SteelerFan New Thread 07/17/08 [Re: MidwesternGirl]
glamgirl Offline
Member

Registered: 04/28/07
Posts: 3481
I love that scripture. I need to remember that. I am so anxious for movement to happen. I keep thinking of God's word for me this week was "slow" in response to reconnecting with h and bringing him home.
_________________________
Me 50
H 42
S 22
S 9
D 7
M 12
T 17
H moved out 8/2006
H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks
H moved home 5/2011 for good

"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"

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#1532448 - 07/25/08 01:24 PM Re: SteelerFan New Thread 07/17/08 [Re: glamgirl]
MidwesternGirl Offline
Member

Registered: 01/16/06
Posts: 7941
Loc: SW USA
Really, the slower the better. You do not want your H home too soon.

The reason why H left in April was the guilt was getting to him but it is something he is going to have to come to terms with.

Part of my prayer request is about this as well.

Also, do you have The Power of a Praying Wife? There is a pocket-sized book with prayers and subject matters that you can get at Barnes and Noble.

I love it and have read it over and over.
_________________________
The Bomb: 08/05
H moves out: 06/2006
H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07
H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08
H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09
Divorced 08-12
Kids: 22, 20, 19

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#1532460 - 07/25/08 01:32 PM Re: SteelerFan New Thread 07/17/08 [Re: MidwesternGirl]
glamgirl Offline
Member

Registered: 04/28/07
Posts: 3481
I have that book and the praying husband one that I got for h years ago, but he just stuffed it in some drawer. He is really not the religious type.

He is not a believer like me. When I was talking of God with h's family I think they believe of A God, but not a R with him or see the workings in thier lives due to God.

When I had mentioned visions they had some response of that's not for me. They really couldn't grasp the concept of having a R where God speaks to you nor do I think they believed what I was saying. Not everyone can get this and wrap their arms around it. Too foreign for most.
_________________________
Me 50
H 42
S 22
S 9
D 7
M 12
T 17
H moved out 8/2006
H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks
H moved home 5/2011 for good

"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"

Top
#1532537 - 07/25/08 02:17 PM Re: SteelerFan New Thread 07/17/08 [Re: glamgirl]
MidwesternGirl Offline
Member

Registered: 01/16/06
Posts: 7941
Loc: SW USA
Maybe you can be the example of what it is like to be a believer.

H and I raised our kids on the Bible and all that it stood for.

He tells me he appreciates that I am constantly praying for him.
_________________________
The Bomb: 08/05
H moves out: 06/2006
H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07
H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08
H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09
Divorced 08-12
Kids: 22, 20, 19

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#1532878 - 07/25/08 06:53 PM Re: SteelerFan New Thread 07/17/08 [Re: MidwesternGirl]
ANewMe Offline
Member

Registered: 04/14/04
Posts: 2776
Loc: Midwest
I know that I am kind of late in this conversation but SF have you thought about telling your H that you have forgiven him and really wish that he could forgive himself. Maybe you could ask if there is anything you can do to help him with this.

I, too, know that God is working on your H. I am sure he is working on mine as well. Mine will more than likely take a lot longer because he was not raised in any kind of relationship with God. He never went to church or anything. But I guess that probably shouldn't matter because look how long it took me to come back to Him and I went to church every Sunday as a teen.

Oh, BTW, SF thank you so much for the prayers, they really say what I have been trying to put into words.
_________________________
Everything happens for a reason, maybe Dad needs to find that it isn't better out there, he needs to realize how good he had it here. Maybe he will find God and that is the most important thing when he finds Him he will know he is supposed to come home.

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#1532896 - 07/25/08 07:05 PM Re: SteelerFan New Thread 07/17/08 [Re: ANewMe]
MidwesternGirl Offline
Member

Registered: 01/16/06
Posts: 7941
Loc: SW USA
ANM:

He already knows that I have forgiven him. I honestly think this is something he has to work on because there is nothing I can do. As he says, this is something he has to live with the rest of his life (what he has done).
_________________________
The Bomb: 08/05
H moves out: 06/2006
H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07
H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08
H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09
Divorced 08-12
Kids: 22, 20, 19

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#1533222 - 07/26/08 12:16 AM Re: SteelerFan New Thread 07/17/08 [Re: MidwesternGirl]
happynow Offline
Member

Registered: 02/25/08
Posts: 2099
SF,

My H has low self-esteem also.

That texted you got from your H sounded so sad! I do feel sorry for him. Maybe he hasn't asked God to forgive him. Once he does that he can forgive himself.

Hang in there, you have such strong faith! I admire you!!!

(((HUS)))

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