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#1546121 - 08/05/08 12:40 AM Re: Letting God Take Control Part 14 [Re: MidwesternGirl]
plentyhope Offline
Member

Registered: 07/29/06
Posts: 3455
Originally Posted By: steelersfan
Sounds like things went well. Your H, was he pretty quiet tonight? Probably a good thing the boys were there as it was kind of like an ice-breaker type of evening. He did not know how you would react and vice versa.

Did he say if he would call you again before the boys leave? I am sure the boys had a good time, too.
Steelrs,
Thanks for your nice thoughts. He was probably quieter than other times we spent together with the boys. One of his medical issues is resolevd - a good think. His other one is still bothering him quite a bit - painful.

He didn't say he'd call. Even if he did, it wouldn't mean that he would. He may forget what he says he'll do.

Oh BTW, he had said he would help me with some heavy lifting. Well, I did it myself. A few minutes after he came in, he turned around - I think to look for the stuff I needed help with. I was right because a few minutes later, he asked if I still needed help with that. I said I took care of it myself. He said "Sorry about that." I said "It's OK. I wanted to take care of it because it had been sitting around for a while already." He might have felt bad... I think it was good that he doesn't have to feel pressured to do stuff for me, and then resent me afterwards about having to do stuff.


Edited by plentyhope (08/05/08 12:40 AM)
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#1546127 - 08/05/08 12:49 AM Re: Letting God Take Control Part 14 [Re: MidwesternGirl]
sooners7xchamps Offline
Member

Registered: 05/28/08
Posts: 210
Hi PH,

After reading SF, Glam, & your post on you feedback from people at church, it makes me think that some of these people have never been put to such a test that they need to rely on God and strong faith as much we all do, or they did for a while then gave up. The difference for you/us is that we refuse to give up, give in, give out, or give over just as the standers affirmation says on rejoice marriage ministries.

I met the people by going down front for prayer at the end of the sermon. I told them that I would not give my W a divorce and that I was going to stand on the word or God and they really support me in that. They all know how long it has been, but they encourage me to continue what I am doing with myself and that I am doing the right thing. Maybe I am just blessed for these people and God is really trying to help me in every way possible.
I am going to continue to try to find a few more that will support what I am doing, with God's help the people I find will support me for the long haul and not just a little while. I pray that in time God will restore all our marriages to everything that he wants our marriages to be. Maybe for them to be all he wants them to be it's just going to take (time(the tough part).

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#1546133 - 08/05/08 12:56 AM Re: Letting God Take Control Part 14 [Re: sooners7xchamps]
MidwesternGirl Offline
Member

Registered: 01/16/06
Posts: 7941
Loc: SW USA
Sooners:

Great post and it is true, many have not been put thru such a test.

Who knows, maybe you will be one to help others standing after your marriage has been restored. I think there needs to be more people like this in churches.
_________________________
The Bomb: 08/05
H moves out: 06/2006
H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07
H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08
H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09
Divorced 08-12
Kids: 22, 20, 19

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#1546144 - 08/05/08 01:09 AM Re: Letting God Take Control Part 14 [Re: MidwesternGirl]
sooners7xchamps Offline
Member

Registered: 05/28/08
Posts: 210
Well thank you SF.

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#1546748 - 08/05/08 01:32 PM Re: Letting God Take Control Part 14 [Re: MidwesternGirl]
plentyhope Offline
Member

Registered: 07/29/06
Posts: 3455
Sooners, Steelers,
Yep, I agree that many of these people who tell us to move on have not been put to the test. It's so easy for them to give advice from their "comfortable" position, or they just choose to not want to take the hard road themselves. They can't understand why we would.

I sometimes imagine being in a position to help others stand, be it before or after my M restoration. Of course, people are more likely to listen to someone whose M actually did get restored. It's human nature.
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#1547324 - 08/05/08 09:27 PM Re: Letting God Take Control Part 14 [Re: plentyhope]
glamgirl Offline
Member

Registered: 04/28/07
Posts: 3481
PH thanks so much for giving me a different perspective. I am trying to see all the positives. H came over last night and I helped him with applying for jobs. I thought that was a huge step.

I sent him a nice e-mail thanking him for including me on his job search and how important that was to me. He thanked me back and sent a joke e-mail about the perfect man and woman.

He will be here wed to watch the kids, date day thur, sat spend time with kids and sun watch the kids. So some good opportunities for connecting. Pray that I NOT go down a negative path and get discouraged.

Thank you so much for your help.

Maybe you could send your h a nice e-mail thanking him for bringing the boys by. Let him know how much that meant to you.
_________________________
Me 50
H 42
S 22
S 9
D 7
M 12
T 17
H moved out 8/2006
H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks
H moved home 5/2011 for good

"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"

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#1547325 - 08/05/08 09:30 PM Re: Letting God Take Control Part 14 [Re: glamgirl]
glamgirl Offline
Member

Registered: 04/28/07
Posts: 3481
You are all so right, I do not believe many can give advice when they haven't walked in our shoes or have been challenged with something so huge as standing for your M.

The way of the world is to D. It takes so much more effort to stand and try to make it work than it is to file a piece of paper.
_________________________
Me 50
H 42
S 22
S 9
D 7
M 12
T 17
H moved out 8/2006
H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks
H moved home 5/2011 for good

"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"

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#1547328 - 08/05/08 09:37 PM Re: Letting God Take Control Part 14 [Re: glamgirl]
sooners7xchamps Offline
Member

Registered: 05/28/08
Posts: 210
Hi PH & others,

Hope you read Charlyne Cares today it was really good. When Bob mentioned the " The Prodigal Says:" well I have heard many of the comments the he mentioned.

This morning I prayed many things, but it has been a little while since I ask for any signs, so I did ask this morning for a sign that God is working on our marriage. So today I saw three covenant transport trucks. Also while driving through the country and I mean way out in the middle of nowhere I just happen to look over at this pretty good size hill and on top I saw three crosses, you could barely see them, but they were there.

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#1547431 - 08/05/08 11:00 PM Re: Letting God Take Control Part 14 [Re: glamgirl]
plentyhope Offline
Member

Registered: 07/29/06
Posts: 3455
glam,
Lucky you - date night on Thur! I will pray for you to take these opportunities to reconnect well. I liked that you thanked him for including you in the job search effort. It must have been nice for him to experience your support. I bet it was a huge step for him to even ask you for help!!!

Yeah, I am not sure whether to thank my H or not. He seemd to et so used to my emails and cards and he thinks I am pursuing him through those things.

I think he really flipped when I put the VM (from the handyman) on speaker phone! When he asked "Who is that?", his voice was louder and I sensed some urgency.... I put the VM on speaker because I didn't want them to think I had anything to hide, but it was only the 2nd half by the time I thought of putting it on speaker. The 2nd half didn't talk about the job, just about asking me to call him nback and his phone number details.
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#1547434 - 08/05/08 11:01 PM Re: Letting God Take Control Part 14 [Re: sooners7xchamps]
plentyhope Offline
Member

Registered: 07/29/06
Posts: 3455
Hi sooners,

Yes, I have read the newsletter. It moved me to tears and affected me for most of the day!!!

The signs are awesome!! Lucky you! Now you have NO excuse to doubt God's promise to restore your M, right? ;\)
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