Steelers, Wrong!!! I always look forward to your updates and insight.

You are so inspiring. You have enough faith for all of us...

I agree!!!!

Thanks everyone for your support and all.

Things are going well. We'll just have to wait and see if I hear from H later tonight.

My son informed me that there are openings where he works and encouraged me to apply. I told him I would have to work morning thru early afternoon. We'll see plus it will be different if this really happens. I do love working in the kitchen as it is like a release for me as I love to cook. I told him I did not want to cook and he told me to go for the food prep job. Okay, I can handle cutting tomatoes, etc.

My H, who was in music ministry in his church for 10 years starting around the time of our wedding, has not been to church except for Christmas, Easter, and weddings/funerals etc. in at least five years. He told me early on that it was because he was mad at God about his mother getting Alzheimer's (she had it for about six years, and died three years ago, after really deteriorating badly despite good medical care).

Then about six months ago, I asked him what he thought God thought about what he was doing (meaning H's affair), and he told me that he didn't know if he believed in God any more and wasn't sure he cared what God thought anyway. I really was shocked (and I'm not easily shocked), but my pastor told me this is pretty normal for people in H's situation. Then of course a few months later it came up in conversation and he claimed I had misunderstood or misinterpreted and that wasn't what he thought at all. I have hearing loss, so people can get away with that more than average with me, but in this case, I am positive that I heard exactly what he said. Typical MLCer--trying to change the past, or total memory failure.

Anyway, all this is just background to what I really wanted to say in response to BA's post: Guess what--God is big enough to take whatever your H dishes out! You aren't obligated to defend God to H--I'm sure some would point out that one must always be ready to defend the faith, but I don't think this is quite the same thing. Your H can sling all the mud he wants at God, but in this case, God is like Teflon--none of that stuff will stick. I wish I could remember where I heard this, but somewhere I read, in the context of a response to someone who was worried about something that God might do:

"Your God is too small!"

This is not something I talk about much at all, but...assessments have told me that one of my spiritual gifts is faith. Therefore, it may be easier for me to believe that God can do anything than it is for the average person. My problem has always been worry that I was not correctly hearing or applying God's instructions to me, so I pray for clear guidance quite a lot.

Maybe I have misinterpreted your statements though--what sorts of things does your H say that you find painful? Is your H criticizing you, or criticizing God, or what? Maybe your H is blaming God for you being less than perfect or something?? My opinion is that your H's relationship with God is between him and God. No third party intervention (or guilt) required.

I could go on and on about this, but it would probably degenerate into gibberish pretty quickly. Hope that helps some!

Peace,
Dawn

HI all!!

this morning i have to go to where S17 works and fill out an application. sounds promising and it would be for 4-5 hours per day so it would be perfect. all i would do is food prep--not a hard job at all.

still have not heard from H since the text of monday morning. i know he and S17 spoke for an hour yesterday afternoon about S's job, etc.

Steelers, I hope you get the job and love it as well!

This will be different but it sure beats sitting in an office setting all day. I am ready for something different. My son says I have the personality to be a server but I told him I was not sure about that. He thinks I should do it. We'll see.............

H would love it if I were making good tips!!

Hi SF,

Good luck with the job!! I've got to get busy looking for a job myself.

Let us know how it goes & thank you so much for the prayers!!

(((HUGS)))

I was able to complete an application today but the person who does the interviews was not available so I just left the app..

The boys said when they go in to work, they will take care of it.

Had a very brief text from H--asked how i was and i asked how he was and that was it.