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#1544969 - 08/04/08 09:39 AM Re: Rough Year Continues - 3 [Re: 1hope]
TwinDad Offline
Member

Registered: 04/21/08
Posts: 1194
Hope,

Honestly, I think there is little wrong from having expecations, we all have them no matter how much we "try" not too. I think the important part is not to tie our happiness to these expecations and don't get angry if they are not met. We are supposed to do things for ourselves and our spouses. When we do things for our spouses we should do them from the heart without the expectation of recieving something in return. I think you have been doing a very good job in this. Recognizing these expectations and how we deal with them really helps level out the rollercoaster.

I think you are right you are a good person and deserve to be treated better. I also think your H has been "trying" quite a bit lately. It is going to take time before this feels normal to him. It is so easy for us to get sensitive to things because we have been trying so hard and it is hard work, that when things start to get better we just want to relax and breathe. Also it is much harder to "Try" when you are tired and hungry.

The first thing I thought when I read your thread was your H was just plain tired and hungry (some people get very grouchy when they are hungry). He had good intentions....he just got worn out. I think you if you put yesterday's events in the perspective of a year ago you probably would have thought your H was just having a grouchy moment and it would pass. Sure it would have hurt your feelings a little bit, but you would have let it slide.
_________________________
TwinDad
Me 39, W 36, M 11
W - MLC, WAW????
2 Kids B/G 3 YRS Old
Start of the Long and Bumpy Road.....
On the verge of piecing.....a new beginning

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#1545020 - 08/04/08 10:21 AM Re: Rough Year Continues - 3 [Re: TwinDad]
1hope Offline
Member

Registered: 05/20/08
Posts: 1677
Loc: Mid-West
A year ago he would have given me a kiss in greeting when he got home. I don't even know who came thru the door yesterday. I could sense his dislike of me. It hurt.

I know he has been trying. I agree that he had good intentions, and I knew that he would be tired (read hung over). I don't remember if I told you or not, but he did call me on his way out of town on Friday, and told me that he would get home early enough on Sunday to take me and play 9 holes.

I just laughed and told him that I wasn't going to hold him to that, but that I would plan a nice meal for him to come home to. He was happy about that.

I knew that he would be very tired and probably want to rest. I didn't care. That is usually what he does when he comes home from Party Town. I would not have let it slide last year, I would have picked a fight with him. That is the last thing that I would do this year. But it seems that he is the one picking the fight with me.

As far as expectations go, the only one I had was that I didn't expect that he would be mean to me.
_________________________
Most of us are about as happy as we make up our minds to be.

My first link

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#1545036 - 08/04/08 10:30 AM Re: Rough Year Continues - 3 [Re: 1hope]
TwinDad Offline
Member

Registered: 04/21/08
Posts: 1194
((((((((Hope))))))))

Sounds like this is what you need more than anything today, everything will be ok.....you didn't take the fight and did your own thing.....you did well
_________________________
TwinDad
Me 39, W 36, M 11
W - MLC, WAW????
2 Kids B/G 3 YRS Old
Start of the Long and Bumpy Road.....
On the verge of piecing.....a new beginning

Top
#1545079 - 08/04/08 10:53 AM Re: Rough Year Continues - 3 [Re: TwinDad]
1hope Offline
Member

Registered: 05/20/08
Posts: 1677
Loc: Mid-West
Thanks TD, I do need hugs.
_________________________
Most of us are about as happy as we make up our minds to be.

My first link

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#1545108 - 08/04/08 11:18 AM Re: Rough Year Continues - 3 [Re: 1hope]
TwinDad Offline
Member

Registered: 04/21/08
Posts: 1194
No problem...sometimes I get so focused on the DB thing that I forget sometimes people just need a break from this work and a hug. I just don't want to see you backslide since you have been doing so well.
_________________________
TwinDad
Me 39, W 36, M 11
W - MLC, WAW????
2 Kids B/G 3 YRS Old
Start of the Long and Bumpy Road.....
On the verge of piecing.....a new beginning

Top
#1545115 - 08/04/08 11:26 AM Re: Rough Year Continues - 3 [Re: TwinDad]
Neilh23 Offline
Member

Registered: 06/02/08
Posts: 1834
Loc: Western New York
the more i think about it, the more i think this...it's ok to have expectations, but don't let it get you down when they are not met.... ya know?

(((((hugs))))))

us guys like hugs too. :-)
_________________________
ME:32 WAW:31
D #1: 3.5 D #2: 2
Together: 13 M:6
Bomb Dropped: 2/15/08
Sep legally: 6/18/08

"Tommorrow there'll be sunshine, and all this darkness past..."
-Bruce Springsteen Land of Hope and Dreams


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#1545117 - 08/04/08 11:28 AM Re: Rough Year Continues - 3 [Re: Neilh23]
TwinDad Offline
Member

Registered: 04/21/08
Posts: 1194
((((((((Neil)))))))

Sorry, couldn't resist buddy....lol (ok...we will tell everyone it is one of those handshake hugs)
_________________________
TwinDad
Me 39, W 36, M 11
W - MLC, WAW????
2 Kids B/G 3 YRS Old
Start of the Long and Bumpy Road.....
On the verge of piecing.....a new beginning

Top
#1545119 - 08/04/08 11:30 AM Re: Rough Year Continues - 3 [Re: TwinDad]
Neilh23 Offline
Member

Registered: 06/02/08
Posts: 1834
Loc: Western New York
Chest bump is better. more manly. LOL
_________________________
ME:32 WAW:31
D #1: 3.5 D #2: 2
Together: 13 M:6
Bomb Dropped: 2/15/08
Sep legally: 6/18/08

"Tommorrow there'll be sunshine, and all this darkness past..."
-Bruce Springsteen Land of Hope and Dreams


Top
#1545125 - 08/04/08 11:36 AM Re: Rough Year Continues - 3 [Re: Neilh23]
TwinDad Offline
Member

Registered: 04/21/08
Posts: 1194
Quote:
Chest bump is better. more manly. LOL


I like that better....particularly if we follow it up with a Tim the Tool Man Tailor "howl".....very manly!
_________________________
TwinDad
Me 39, W 36, M 11
W - MLC, WAW????
2 Kids B/G 3 YRS Old
Start of the Long and Bumpy Road.....
On the verge of piecing.....a new beginning

Top
#1545128 - 08/04/08 11:38 AM Re: Rough Year Continues - 3 [Re: TwinDad]
Neilh23 Offline
Member

Registered: 06/02/08
Posts: 1834
Loc: Western New York
OMG. only if the tool time girl is with us. LOL....1hope..you in?
_________________________
ME:32 WAW:31
D #1: 3.5 D #2: 2
Together: 13 M:6
Bomb Dropped: 2/15/08
Sep legally: 6/18/08

"Tommorrow there'll be sunshine, and all this darkness past..."
-Bruce Springsteen Land of Hope and Dreams


Top
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