Hello, my handle is NoCodeBlues, and I have been maintaining my threads over in the "Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy" forum since September of last year. My W and I have been separated for one year today (July 6 of '07, I volunteered reluctantly to move out). You can read about my situation in the following (long) list of threads:
If you managed to get through all that, you'll note that I tend to name my threads after appropriate song titles.
I have decided that since my WAW is now eligible to file for her precious D, most likely first thing tomorrow, I think it safe to say she's hellbent on getting her way. Regretfully, I am headed for the big D, and I am starting a new chapter. So here I am.
Better Now Rascal Flatts
If I had one call to make I would dial yesterday and warn myself Tell my lips the words to say Not let you just walk away With someone else, with someone else
Next time, I won't suffer this kind of pain Own my mistakes Not just pass off all the blame If you were here, we could figure this out Then I wouldn't be bitter I'd just be better now
To be the strong and silent one A lot of good that has done - yes, you'd agree No more tryin' to understand Or fix these things because you can't Guess it's up to me; Yeah, it's up to me
Next time, I won't suffer this kind of pain Own my mistakes Not just pass off all the blame If you were here, we could figure this out Then I wouldn't be bitter I'd just be better now
I'd be much better off Much better off, maybe If I could just let it go With no regrets then
Next time, I won't suffer this kind of pain Own my mistakes Not just pass off all the blame You'd still be here and we'd figure this out Then I wouldn't be bitter Oh, no, I wouldn't be bitter I'd just be better now Oh, oh, Ooo
welcome)))))))))))) I read one of your posts with the story of how things happened, you truly have been through a lot, my stbx is depressed as well, so I have a faint idea how crippling depression is, I pray that if you are still taking meds they are helping, and if they dont' that you be the proverbial squeaky wheel and go back to your dr to get the meds changed/adjusted.
I saw a few similarities on your story, well, been saying that a few times, it's amazing how many of our stories mimic each other. But I must say, that despite your depression, you've hanged on so hard and long for your family, if my stbx would've had half , no, one inch of your determination/spine I bet we wouldnt' be in the path to D (I'm legally S, he'll file when the year is up).
A good book I recommend is "The spiritual Divorce", you will find lots of helpful coping advice there. I pray that you begin this new chapter in your life determine to live a full life and to be happy, despite how you might feel today I know that in the near future, if you let yourself..you will heal and move on and up.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
I'm not much on bartending skills, but here's a Cuervo 'rita coming right up. (What else can I get ya', as they say.)
I'm still on a low dose of Prozac, and it does help. Once I get though the slings and arrows of the expected D, I will consider either changing meds to something with a minimum of side effects (worried about it affecting my libido) or coming off them altogether. Depends on what my doc says.
Other than that, what really has helped more than meds, I've found, is working out regularly (natural endorphins) and, most importantly, getting my walk with God back.
With the help of the Lord, my online DB friends, my local friends and family, my church and my DivorceCare pals, I feel I have come a long way in the last year.
Thanks for the book suggestion -- I'll look for it at my local library first. I've been getting a lot of good books to read of late. Right now I've just started Joyce Meyers, "The Secret to True Happiness".
This is a great place for healing. We laugh and cry, IMO D kinda has a lot of residue, if not w/ us, then maybe w/ our children, or financial life, this is a great place to get advice and help and support from those who have been through it.
I read a post of yours on someone else thread and I must say i loved what you wrote! good for you!
I hope your healing has started, and we can help
Be Happy for this Moment, This Moment is your Life
We already have something in common, I too like to use song titles to name my threads. Although at the moment I am stuck in the Love Shack.
I haven't caught up on your sitch yet but I will, but in the meantime, we're here for you. Ask and you shall receive. There is a treasure trove of great advice here, all for the asking!
for a while I'd buy Omega3 and St. John's worth capsules (pure, from gnc) to help stbx' depression, it's supposed to help with your mood. And yes, working out is a great way to make one feel better.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
