You know LL, we are so close to each other--state wise, that I REALLY wish there wasa way we could exchange emails!
Seems like we were meant to run into each other at this point in time, doesn't it?
You can do it. It kills me to be brief, to not get overly excited or interested when he talks to me. But there are small babysteps everytime I contain myself
I am in class now, but I will posy after with more details about visitation and interactions between H and I.
SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
I'm glad to hear H is okay and that he has "returne" a pleasant person.
very glad to hear he is starting to be confused at what he wants. that is a great thing to hear! it is just the beginning.
I think waiting till MC to bring up kid problems is a good idea. Say it like, "I would like to talk about how to handle this sitch with our children. They have been struggling with this and I want to help them cope better" That way it's not blaming H for anything, but still letting it be known that they are having problems.
I agree that your contact still needs to be limited. HOWEVER, how is your tone when you are talking when you DO talk? Be as upbeat and excited as possible. Talk about positive things the kids are doing. Smile when your talking on the phone. He will be lured to you if you do this.
and let H deal with the consequences of his choices. Yes, the kids don't have a place to nap, but that's not going to kill them. unless there is some harm that could happen, just let him deal with his problems, and only show your concern, no advice, just, wow your right, that is tough, I'm sure you'll figure something out though. kind of talk.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
I am pleasant, smiling, and sweet--at least most of the time. On Tuesday, when we had to hnt him down, I was worried, but I think that was good, too. HE went out of his way to allay my fears.
That is what everyone else says--visitation is his problem let him worry about it.
I will post later after MC.
SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
I did not post last night, and I need to feed the kids breakfast really quick. I will post in a little while. I was emotionally wrung out by the time I got home from MC (an hour and a half!). However, we have another appointment on the 11th. I guess it is positive as long as he keeps going back, right?
I will be back in a little bit with an update.
SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
Sorry guys--I had SOOOOOO much to do today--my littlest princess graduated from preschool. We jsut got in the door. I have to feed them and get them to bed. I will psot after that, I promise. Besides, since H was at the graduation, I have even more stuff to post about ;)!
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
SMW- Sounds like you are doing good on the keeping quiet! that is really tough but it seems to get positive results for a lot of people--
I just had a thought reading about H's visitation-- would it be possible to let him use the house for one of those dinners or on Sat.? and for you to go out? that might be a good time for you to do some GAL activities for yourself.... and leave H wondering what fun you were out having!
