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HE CALLED ME !!!! ON MY MOBILE !!!! He he he. Hi guys, so nice to have you there wishing me well and nice I have something new to report, a DEFINITE baby step! (another one!!!). So.. I was out and I was ok early on as I knew he wouldnt call till later, then around 9, 9.30 I had a really wierd feeling, I could sense him trying to get hold of me and I wanted to phone him, but thought that would be too wierd (for me to call him late Friday night when I am out in the pub)... so I phoned a freind...then, I had a missed call!! So, he had called me TWICE at home this evening, sounding a little flat on the answer machine (oh hi Al, just called for a chat) and then.. HE CALLED MY MOBILE !!! On a Friday night. This is significant.. he is chasing me, he is wondering where I am (he said so).. I was STUNNED.

Anyway, we had a nice chat and more positives! I said my friends had walked ahead and then I was lost in a housing estate as we left the pub, and he was really worried! He panicked and told me to get off the phone straight away, go find your friends, told me to call the one he knows and was really concerned! Anyway, I found the house and then we chatted for ages more in the end.

So...HE'S INVITED ME OUT FOR A DRINK TOMMOROW NIGHT !! BUT.. WITH HIS FRIEND !!! Sorry for shouting, but again, I was stunned. This is a friend I met from work, who really likes me and I get on well with him (a male friend).. my BF is meeting him tomorow in town to watch football, then boxing and stay out drinking, and theres NO WAY he would have invited me before to join them.. this is HUGE! This is a couples thing to do, to get me to come to, like the old days ...unless, he really does just see me as a mate, but.. oh also! he wants to meet in the day to go to town shopping, just mooching around for stuff he needs to buy and he invited me and said he would call in the morning, then asked me to join them in the day to watch sport, but if not, to join them later for a drink Saturday night!

I am so excited. I feel like we are nearly back together, but I musnt push it. This is my intuition and the piscean stars support hanging back for now and not putting someone under pressure, but letting things unfold naturally. I'm so excited, did I say that !?

God, waflling, but tonight was a big deal for me, he told me at 5, i'll call you in a bit.. then I disappeared out and was unavailable for the first time in 6 months, I wasnt where he expected me to be. And when we did speak he sounded a little embarressed and actually admitted (when he finally got me on my mobile) "oh, I dont know why I'm calling really, I guess I was worried, I left you a message at home as I thought you were at the shops or something, but I called again and then I thought it was odd as its not like you to not call me back".... I listed the guys I was out with.. and he brightened up then when he knew I was with college people (as he knows they are all babies and no threat to him) and he said, I'm so glad you are out having a good time.

He was home, alone.. he said he was going to go out tonight, but was too tired, I siad, oh, who with? He said, oh, well, I didnt have anything arranged.. HA! AND he wants us to go to the cinema this weekend.. AND he said his Mum was coming in 2 weeks to stay and I could tell he was hinting about meeting up with me as he said "oh I dont really know what I'm going to do with her..."

god, sorry for going on and on and on. I'M SO EXCITED! Had a fun night too, lots of laughter, made everyone laugh alot, good for my PMA.

ALi xxx


Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs
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YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!

((((((((((((((ALI))))))))))))))

remember this the next time you want to do a Neck Kiss. When you take a step back, he gets a chance to step forward!!!

LOVE,
T

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Ali,

AWESOME. Wow, what a satisfying "turning of the tables" here!!

And did I mention...AWESOME!!

Purr

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(((((((Ali)))))))
Do you finally believe what I've been saying for weeks?

You nailed it girl! NO PRESSURE!

Have you ever fished? Once you have the fish hooked, you sometimes have to let it run a ways, so you don't break the line, then bring it in, a little at a time. Let him swim to you, Ali!

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WOW Ali! This is fantastic news! I'm so happy for you!!

How fantastic that you guys are going to spend the day together today, and the couple outing with his mate. BRILLIANT!!!!!!!

And now the important question. What are you going to wear?!

L.xx

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Ali,

GREAT NEWS!!!! Maybe you will finally believe us that you need to leave for him some "space" to act and chase and worry about/for you.

What are you going to wear?

K


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((((((Ali))))))))

Yay! See what a little mystery can do?


Michelle - Proud DR Rockette
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How was the night out Al?!

I'm on the edge of my seat waiting for news!!

L.xx

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heheh! Well.... (wait for it.....) uh hum... drum roll please...

I JUST SPENT THE NIGHT WITH HIM!

Not like that though, just as friends, he didnt touch me, but I was all snuggled up to him, as we were in a flippin single bed !!! Good job I am small.

It wasnt s*xual at all, it was just comfortable, so wierd, it just felt normal, natural, no big deal. He was very drunk when he asked me to stay, I kept saying, are you sure, but he said yes, just get into bed! I was a bit worried I was taking advantage of him being drunk and how he would feel in the morning when he was sober, awkward maybe, but I decided to go for it, as then its done then, out the way. I knew nothing would happen, but I thought it would be another problem solved, see, its ok to stay the night with me, its no big deal, its not an issue... anyway, when we woke in the morning, he was fine! We'd been laughing and chatting a bit before going to sleep (he fell out of bed very comically at one point) and when we woke up, within seconds, we carried on laughing about some things that had happened the night before! And we didnt get up straight away, just dozed.. then his friend knocked the door and invited us to a cafe for breakfast with his girlfriend, so the four of us trotted off and had a nice time and lots of laughs...Very wierd!

Um, I met all this new bunch of friends, they are nice people, but all mid 20s so we were like the older pair and that was nice, but his mate introduced me to everyone as they arrived as the girlfriend! And BF didnt seem to care at all! He stayed close by me all night like we were a couple, he told me every time he was nipping off to get a drink, go for a cig, or go for a wee! Whenever he was talking to others in the group without me I heard him refer to me alot "Oh Al likes.. " and whatever it was, or he would draw me in to the conversation this way!

When we left he went to walk the wrong way, so I grabbed his hand and then he instantly locked fingers with me as we walked off, it was AMAZING! It was a real moment, we both did it without thinking walked a bit then he stopped and gave me this incredible look, of recognition, of love, and then let go and flung his arm around me instead and we walked on like that.

So...we spent the afternoon together before we met up with the friends, and that was like we were a couple, the evening was as though we were a couple, I got introduced as his girlfriend, he asked me to stay the night, we hung out with his friends.. THEY invited me to join them all at Glastonbury for the weekend and when they asked him if that was ok he said "Yeah, sure". Blimey. Then when I said goodbye this morning, he didnt even get up to see me out of hug me, just said bye and that he would call me later as we are all going to another city tonight to watch a film and go for a drink again, as a gang and he is completley expecting me to come too!

So, as I thught would happen if I ever saw him very drunk (as I havent for 6 months).. he told me whats going on, although he still wont open up. God need to go get a cup of tea and remember what he said!


Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs
IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08
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I'm so confused! God, I just read your post Lisa.. WOW. I have to catch up, but I cant believe the day you had then he packs you off home on the bus and my BF didnt touch me barely at all and I staeyd the night with him! And yet I feel we are in a similiar place with them sorting out their own cr*p.

Anyway... wee shared some looks last night and then suddently, he got really upset and started an R talk with me (and later on). I was totally unprepared and as a result I didnt say very much! I was fearful, so just let him talk. Also, I had said my stars said no pressure and just be fun and happy, so I resisted the temptation to ask him questions, eventhough I knew he would have told me anything, becuase he was drunk, basically it went like this...

BF: Oh Al, I'm so sorry (buries head in my shoulder and repeats it, I hug him)
Me: Why? Why are you so sorry
BF: I just am, I dont want to be a b*stard, I'm so sorry. I'm just a crazy person.
Me: What do you mean?
BF: I feel crazy, seriously, in the head. I feel crazy. I'm rubbish (repeats this alot).
Me: Why do you feel so crazy? (he just looks mortified and shakes his head alot)
Me: Can you not explain?
BF: No (looks really upset and about to cry)
Me: Do you want a hug? (he nods and I give him a huge hug for a while)
BF: I just need to sort myself out, I dont even know what that means, but I just do. I'm so sorry Al.
Me: I know you do, I know and its ok by me, you dont need to be sorry, I forgive you and I am here for you.
BF: I know you are, I just need to cut loose, I dont know what cutting loose means, just be free..of my Mothers words going on and on at me..
Me: But shes phoning you twice a day now
BF: I know (looks really really upset)
Me: Can you tell her to not call you so much?
BF: I have told her, lots of times...
Me: What does she say?
BF: Nothing, she wasnt listening, she just keeps talking...I just feel like I've been coseted my whole life, I feel crazy. I'm sorry Al for being a b*stard. I feel like a crazy person, I'm just f*cked, f*cked in the head (buries head in my shoulder and is very upset, we have a big hug)
Me: I'm always here for you, it doesnt matter to me if you feel crazy or not crazy, it doesnt change how I feel about you, I will be here for you.
BF: I know...I KNOW Al (says with real feeling and gratitude)

then someone interrupted us and the evening continued. I was dying to ask him all sorts, but I guess he said it all. So, I was right... I posted ages ago about Uranus and the IC and the mother and blah blah, but basically, in leaving me he was rejecting his mother, which isnt what he seems to be able to do in real life. And ironically, since he left me, she has taken great delight in having "her baby" back and calls him twice a day and he has said to me alot lately what a drain on him it is. So, its all about his mother!!! How flipping freudian. I dont know what he meant by having his mothers words going on and on at him all his life and being coseted all his life.. but his mother is a nightmare, goes on and on, refuses to look below the surface, very put up, shut up and get on with it, unemotional, not uncaring, bossy, opiniated, not sensitive, doesnt EVER ask him how he is because "I dont want to interfere". Drives me mad!

Later on the bed he said some more stuff...

BF: Please dont do anything to yourself
Me: What do you mean??
BF: Dont blame yourself, its not you, its me, I'm a crazy person, seriously, I'm f*cked in the head. I've just shutdown. You know I love spending time with you...I just dont want any complications. I need to sort myself out, I just need some space and time.

then we hugged and he insisted I went to my car for my things so I could get into bed. And then I snuggled up to him, spooned, arms all around him. He said "dont squeeze!" as he felt unwell, so I got off him, but he said, "No, you were ok as you were, just dont squeeze too hard, thats all!", so I wrapped myself all around him again and he fell asleep.

So odd. So basically, DBing has been amazing and as my friend said.. you are breaking him down bit by bit.. he is slowly learning it doesnt have to be complicated, to see you, to spend time with you, to sleep in the same bed even, but obvsiouly he has shut down and withdrawn and can only just look after himself and he's still struggling. He cant even tell me whats going on, but he must still love me, I'm sure, although he hasnt said so.

Feel exhausted and drained typing that out, it sounds a bit clinical, but it was anything but at the time, it was as though time stood still. A little slice of reality. The rest of the evening we were pretending to be a couple again and it was all as though it was just a bad dream.


Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs
IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08
Reconciled 05/09 now married!
my thread
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