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Joined: Nov 2007
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Sleeper,

I have no clue what is happening with my ex. He is so weird half the time. He went somewhere because my son said he was not at home for those 2 days.

All remains quiet for the most part in my sitch.

Ex is definitely not harrassing me like he use to.


Me: 46 H:44
Together: 25 years
Married: 20 years
Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07
OW: EA began 2005
PA began end of 2006
3 children,20, 16, 6
ex asked for forgiveness
01/16/11

Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,666
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Hey T-
Depression - Running and then there is this thing called REALITY which pushes them back into that hole. THE REALLY DARK ONE.

I agree with Glam that being kind is a good idea. But I also agree that they have to do it - they have to CHOOSE to go get help. My h-- says Nope won't counsel - Nope not taking my meds...and YEP very miserable..so so very sad..and always cries. =(

Just like an alcoholic - or ANY addict that needs help THEY HAVE TO DECIDE to go and face it. AND I AGREE that we CAN be their "Friend" through it. I have told h time and time again that I would be his friend if he would choose to help himself....that I would stand by him as a FRIEND. But he doesn't choose that...

You have been so strong - so consistant. I just really want you to know how much I respect you.


M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06
Moved out 3/12/07
D final 7/30/2008
finding myself again


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Trusting, Maybe now it is time to think about being open without being pushy?

It is interesting--I think my H is in the same place as yours. Not sure. But I think so.


M: 16 years
Bomb 4/07
OW 20s long gone
Divorced 11/09
I remarried New Guy
Cooperative r w/X regarding D

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Thanks everyone for your advice. I am at a loss as to what to do.

It almost seems like my ex wants to be miserable.


Me: 46 H:44
Together: 25 years
Married: 20 years
Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07
OW: EA began 2005
PA began end of 2006
3 children,20, 16, 6
ex asked for forgiveness
01/16/11

Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 3,481
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Trusting do what you feel is in your heart. Depression is a terrible thing. It took my h 22 months before he decided he needed professional help.

Keep praying and giving your h love and support. I don't think your h wants to be miserable he just doesn't know where to go to get help.

If your h needs professional help, give him the support and love and let him know you are there for him.

It can start with you Trusting!


Me 50
H 42
S 22
S 9
D 7
M 12
T 17
H moved out 8/2006
H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks
H moved home 5/2011 for good

"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
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Let him be miserable.he will see the light.

It is all his choice.

Pray for him. Do not give up on him.

Joined: Nov 2005
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Originally Posted By: TRUSTING
It almost seems like my ex wants to be miserable.



He probably does.

I remember way back when Rich first left how depressed I was.
I liked it. It was some form of self punishment I put myself through as I thought it was all my fault that he left me.

Pretty soon I realized just how self-destructive that was and took care of it.

The problem with depression is not so much depression....it's the lack of understanding it and seeking help for it.

There are so many people who are clinically depressed but fight it, will not seek help for it and deny deny deny.

How are you doing?


Change the Policy.
Allow PM's
Free all of us.

Also some new and improved emoticons would be nice!

:-)
Joined: Nov 2007
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Ex let me know that he did not have a babysitter for my 3 year-old tomorrow because the regular one canceled.

I told him I would be more than happy to take a day off of work tomorrow. At the end of my email I said,

"I continue to pray for you and all the struggles you have been facing."

He emailed me three times after that, nothing significant, just chit chat.

I was surprised that he did not say his usual, "Don't pray for me, I'm fine"


Me: 46 H:44
Together: 25 years
Married: 20 years
Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07
OW: EA began 2005
PA began end of 2006
3 children,20, 16, 6
ex asked for forgiveness
01/16/11

Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,071
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Posts: 4,071
Trusting,
You were friendly and he was friendly back.


M: 16 years
Bomb 4/07
OW 20s long gone
Divorced 11/09
I remarried New Guy
Cooperative r w/X regarding D

Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,666
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Posts: 1,666
You are doing right and following your own heart! =) The same thing I think you would do for a "dear friend..." I am sure he knows what he lost... but the reality of it well...who knows when.


M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06
Moved out 3/12/07
D final 7/30/2008
finding myself again


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