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Trusting this is so awesome. Now when you go, make sure you look awesome and when h talks about motorcyle, job etc. You listen attentively. Say very little and everything you say is like h that is so awesome, I am so proud of you, you did good, wow I like that, etc. All your responses positive.

Then watch him strut his stuff like a proud peacock. Can't wait for the full details.

Your are doing good. Oh don't even think about ow. She is nothing and means nothing to you.

You are the PRIZE not her!


Me 50
H 42
S 22
S 9
D 7
M 12
T 17
H moved out 8/2006
H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks
H moved home 5/2011 for good

"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
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CagZ the depression is horrible. It's not easy once they get treatment either. My h is like a walking Zombie with an attitude now. Grrrr!


Me 50
H 42
S 22
S 9
D 7
M 12
T 17
H moved out 8/2006
H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks
H moved home 5/2011 for good

"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 2,549
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Thanks everyone for your support. Glam, I appreciate your advice so much. Sometimes I need a kick in the butt so don't hesitate to do that. I really am open to all suggestions.

I see ex on Sunday again when he drops the kids off. When I saw him the other day he was trying so hard to constantly impress me about everything in his life. I chuckled inside but was just grateful the conversation was positive. Why do they do this?

Ex also made a comment that he is now "paying for his mistakes" and has "learned some lessons". Everything was so vague. It is interesting though to see their baby steps.....

No expectations though. He is still taking OW on trips and things. He told me he is leaving town at the end of the month. I am assuming another trip with OW. Last year they went on 10 of them.


Me: 46 H:44
Together: 25 years
Married: 20 years
Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07
OW: EA began 2005
PA began end of 2006
3 children,20, 16, 6
ex asked for forgiveness
01/16/11

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Men need respect and woman need love! Men like to talk about their accomplishments and they are typically so proud of what they do.

Your job Trusting is to agree with h and throw in now and again I am really impressed with the direction your going, I like that idea h that makes sense, whatever fits the conversation Trusting. When he says things like "learned some lessons", say something like h thank you for saying that, I know it's not easy to admit your mistakes. Thank you, that means a lot to me.

You see Trusting it really is very simple. The hard part is when you don't agree, so just don't disagree. Not now! That comes much much later.

Now continue down this path for at least 6-8 weeks and see where you go. Each time h leaves he will be thinking to himself, wow Trusting has grown, she really understands me. I can talk with her more openly now. Hmmmmmm, he starts to think.

Now don't go overboard, just enough to validate your h's feelings of what he is talking to you about and always say it with a SMILE! Like you just took a Happy Pill!

St John's Wart and 5 HTP works wonders.

Good luck!


Me 50
H 42
S 22
S 9
D 7
M 12
T 17
H moved out 8/2006
H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks
H moved home 5/2011 for good

"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,071
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Trusting, you can flirt with your eyes. I am learning this.

You say nothing. Your eyes say Oh you big handsome thing you.

No arguing. No pleading. Nothing is said!


M: 16 years
Bomb 4/07
OW 20s long gone
Divorced 11/09
I remarried New Guy
Cooperative r w/X regarding D

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