Well...another thread locked! Just as things start to get interesting :-)
I am waiting to hear from him. After the confession that he has depression, he asked to come over tonight. I emailed him yesterday to say yes and as yet, no reply, but I am assuming he will still come. I feel nervous now. We were exchanging lots of emails these past few weeks, but now we are back to silence all day from him. I worry that this is a bad sign. I know he has to face up to his depression now, but he is in work and he's off skiing with 5 other blokes on Friday, so he is still functioning "normally". He said we may talk a bit more. I dont know if he meant tonight, or when he gets back though.
Now that his "mask" has finally slipped, well and truly (and he wore it even to me, to himself, for years), I dont see how we continue to put on a front as we have since Christmas. Surely, honesty will now have to prevail when he does see me? He cant still pretend?
Also, the news I got from his best friends W on Saturday is swirling around my head...that my BF went home a few weekends ago and told his best mate that he's not sure he made the right decision. Which is amazing news! He doesnt know that I know that though. And his friend advised him not to breathe a word to me unless he was sure! Grr!! Why didnt he just advise him to come to me and be honest? Anyway, that was 2 1/2 weeks ago and he still hasnt said anything to me, although confessing about the depression can only be a positive thing. I am going to go get ready in a bit, as I have to work for a few hours before he gets here.
Ali x ___________________ Me: 37 H: 34 T: 9 years ILYBINILWY: 2 Nov 07 Own apartment: 26 Jan 08 Depression confirmed!
No, patience is fine IMP! I've got all the time in the world (well, wrinkly ovaries aside). What I am worried about is this thing might not happen at all ! He is too scared to say he had doubts.
His best friend put a massive guilt trip on him, saying I was devastated the first time and that he cant do it to me again, it wouldnt be fair, I'd never get over it if he had to end it again. This is bad advice! This from a guy who was in love with a girl for 5 years and she walked out with no explanation and wouldnt talk to him and never looked back.. and this guy ended up suicidal as a result and my BF turned up at his house just as he was about to hang himself. Terrible. That was years ago and he is M with a child now to someone else and happy, but its true that he never got over it, she will always be the one that got away for him. So, considering his terrible reaction to his WAS, his advice is skewed by his own experience and is not good advice to my BF ! And as he said it 2 1/2 weeks ago and my BF still hasnt said anything to me, I worry that he has decided to just keep on moving forwards with his decision and not come back, in case like his friend said, he wasnt completly sure. What he should have said was..go talk to her, be honest, see if there were reasons why you left the first time that could possibly be fixed, go to MC!!
Grr. Again.
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
You haven't been listening to everything your friends have said. He does have other things to consider besides the words of one friend. It's still his decision to make. And you still have a chance to sway him by working on your friendship when you see him tonight!
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
Ali, things sound great! Keep it up. Make sure to stay strong and resist things tonight when you see him. If you are too accepting of him right away, he'll think you are an easy mark.
I know this advice sucks, but you still have to sit back and wait and wait and wait.
He phoned ! He is coming over at 7.30.. hes wants to have dinner, although he didnt care what. Gonna do him Cod, his favourite, with rice and stir fry veg and chips on the side, comfort food ! God I am nervous. I dont know what to say. I dont know what he will say. I just want to give him a hug. I dont want to start any conversations or pressure or freak him out. I just want to listen...I hope hes in a talktative mood... right, getter go buy food from Chavda (ASDA!). Eek, wish me luck.
Ali x
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
