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Well, last night was horrible. She was cold and mean and hateful. She brought up moving to a different town without us again even. I stayed positive and just let her be last night. She fell asleep on the couch so I took her a pillow and took off her glasses for her. Of course I didn't get a thank you or anything, but she was better with me today.

I asked her last night if she wanted to rent a movie and watch something together tonight. Just a nice quiet night at home... We have a big long weekend out of town coming up. Anyway, she said that she might go to a make-up party tonight and even acted like she didn't want to tell me where it was.

I don't know... It's just not a good deal again. I am going to leave her a lone today and see what happens... This lonelyness is getting old.

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last night was horrible. She was cold and mean and hateful. She brought up moving to a different town without us again even.
do you ever get a clue when you should back up and do something different...sounds like that you got the message quickly that she was cold, but then were available for her to proceeded with negatives of that moving conversation and other "mean and hateful" things...just a thought. You can "as if", 180, GAL, etc...but I don't see the point in provoking/feeding the negative. You seem very available - available for movie time and yet negative time...try some GAL things - for you and you only.

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...took off her glasses for her. Of course I didn't get a thank you or anything
you are expecting to much...preacher talked about real love the other day. He had several points but here's one that applies to us - Real Love is loving and expecting nothing in return. Feels good when you show love this way...don't be hurt that she didn't say thank you. Feel good because you did it for her...the end.

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We have a big long weekend out of town coming up.
that's vague...what's up. together plans?

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Anyway, she said that she might go to a make-up party tonight and even acted like she didn't want to tell me where it was.
she told you. she is sharing be happy with that...are you prying? or controlling? I ask because you say "acted like she didn't want to tell me where it was"...kind of sounds like she mentioned it and you asked more about it.

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I don't know... It's just not a good deal again. I am going to leave her a lone today and see what happens...
things change, you sound like you are working too hard. Also, one day...that is not long.



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I was thinking the same thing today. I need to watch for that and just make myself scarce! Very good advice.

I didn't expect anything from what I did, but it would have been nice. That is a good point.

Well, we will be with our D at a basketball tournament this weekend. Good bonding time if she is in a better mood. I will be "as if" and see how it goes.

I did ask about where it was. I guess I should not have done that. Getting too close again and I need to back off. I have not contacted her today at all. I was just easing back into it as she let me because things were getting better the last couple of weeks. premature of me!

I think I may be working too hard. The lonelyness is getting to me a little. I just saw us doing better and thought I took bigger steps than I should have.

I really appreciate you keeping me grounded. Don't know what I would do without this forumn.

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I will be "as if"..
that's a great way to be.

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I was just easing back into it as she let me because things were getting better the last couple of weeks. premature of me!
don't be so hard on yourself...you are doing good. It's easy for me to see b/c I don't get the communication you do.

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The lonelyness is getting to me a little. I just saw us doing better and thought I took bigger steps than I should have.
two thoughts here...I have hear you say lonely like several times lately. You need to go find something to do GAL. Go fish, bowl, movie, I don't know something just go do something. Don't sit and be lonely, that is miserable and definitely not attractive...sounds sad puppy dogish. Been there done that. Point two. This is her journey, you are lucky to be at home, or maybe as an analogy in the car with her. Be glad you are in the passenger seat or maybe even the trailer behind the truck...but make this clear, she is driving...you are following. She will speed up or slow down as she sees fit. You have zero control over that. Just do your 180's, GAL, etc...and just be glad you are there.



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I am GAL. I stay really really busy. I have started playing Guitar at church again, hanging with the guys, working on projects, etc.... The lonelyness is just something that I have to contend with. I have always been a very affectionate guy... Some think that is sissy or gay, but thats just the way I am. So having her there, but not getting any of that right now has been really hard. I am dealing, but no matter how much I do, I still have that to deal with.

Thanks! I means a lot for someone who is going through similar stuff to say how good I am doing. I just had a bad day. Its just one day out of many....

I will post on Monday again some good news from the weekend!!

You have a great one too. Hope you are able to take a few steps this weekend!

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The lonelyness is just something that I have to contend with.
I know...it's that non-occupied time. Not a lot to do about that...GAL for the rest but there is going to be that other time. Perhaps, and this isn't from what I do, reflect on your GAL time, maybe that will help.

I hope you have a great weekend...I am pulling for you... Proverbs 3:5-6.

gl2u



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updates?



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Well, things kind of came to a head last week. I finally just told her that she had to make a decision.

I took her out to eat and we talked. I told her where I was coming from and that if she chose to try and trust me again, I would not let her down. I told her I would fight to the end with her if thats what she chose, however, if she just felt like she didn't want to, then that was fine and that I was ready to move on with my life if that is really what she wanted. This past weekend was GREAT! Things still are not 100%, but we are working. She has come back to bed and we are peicing things back. There are still times when I feel very insecure, but I fight those times. She has not put on her ring yet, but I am not going to push that for a while. I am hoping that she just does that on her own soon.

Keep praying for me, but things are better.

How are things with you?

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Sounds like you went with the "Hope for the Separated" by G Chapman approach. I've thought of doing that before. In my sitch, I don't think I'd get the response I would want at this time. I think at some point I would get to a place where I would do this and be ready for either choice she makes. I guess if you draw a line in the sand, you better be ready to live with it.

Things are slightly different for me over the last months, but not in Stage 2 yet. She is friendlier but not "friends again" yet. I am taking it very slow and not contacting her at all unless I have to, which seems to come up to often...like taxes coming up requires it. You get the point. You can read all you want in my journal...post there if you like...

congrats on your decision and things working better - keep working - it always a work in progress - seek improvement...gl2u



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I will take a look soon. I have been so busy lately, I have not had a chance too. I am glad things are still progressing for you. I hope that stage 2 comes sooner than later!

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