Is your marriage on the rocks? Don't panic. Even if your spouse said it's over, there's much that you can do to turn things around. Help is on the way. Here are a few immediate suggestions.
Take a deep breath. We know this is the most difficult time in your life, but we are going to help you come up with a plan to save your marriage and feel better right away. Divorce Busting coaching is for you if:
Your marriage is in trouble and you want to feel closer to your spouse. You are on the brink of divorce, or even in the midst of divorce proceedings. You and your spouse live under one roof but are emotionally disconnected. You're currently separated and may have little contact with your spouse. There has been infidelity and/or an emotional affair. You frequently have the same old arguments about sex, money, communication styles, parenting, step-families, extended family, friends, how free time is spent, religion, and so on. Stop pressuring your spouse to work on your marriage. It's natural to try to persuade your spouse to stop being so pessimistic about your marriage and to commit to working things out. However, you've probably noticed that the more you've tried to convince your spouse that your marriage is worth saving, the more your efforts have backfired. So, the first thing you need to do is to stop lecturing, pleading, crying, or pressuring, sending flowers, cards or heart-felt letters. You're actually pushing your spouse out the door!
Know there's a more productive way to get through to your spouse. People who are successful in life, don't work harder, they work smarter. It's not that you haven't been trying hard enough; it's just that you haven't been doing the right things to get through to your spouse. Your Divorce Busting coach will help you figure out exactly what you need to do or say differently to get things back on track. Plus, Divorce Busting coaching is for you. You don't need to ask your spouse to speak to your coach. By changing your approach, you will learn how to improve your relationship without his/her participation.
Don't waste any more time, call 800-664-2435 or 303-444-7004 to schedule an appointment. International callers should call 303-444-7004. Every day that passes with hurt and anger is another wasted day of your life. Take the energy you've been wasting feeling hurt, devastated and dead inside and start fighting for your marriage today!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ FAQ's about Divorce Busting Telephone Coaching
1. What will happen during a Divorce Busting coaching consultation? It's natural for you to have questions about your consultation, especially if you've never done this before. Your coach will want to know what you are hoping to accomplish during your conversation. The clearer you can be, the more help you'll get.
On the other hand, we've been doing this long enough to know that when your spouse drops the bomb, you might not know which end is up. You're not thinking too clearly and goal-setting is not something you feel you can do at the moment. Don't worry about it. Your coach will help you get a better handle on which aspects of your situation you should focus on first.
Somewhere early in your conversation, you will want to give your coach a brief description of the problems you've been experiencing. You won't want to discuss the details of each and every argument you've had, it will take too much time. Instead, offer your coach highlights of events that have led up to your current marital problems.
You should also be ready to talk about what you've tried so far to make your relationship work- which of your efforts have paid off and which haven't. Then you and your coach will brainstorm strategies for helping you mend your marriage. Divorce Busting® coaches often give "homework assignments" to build on the ideas you discussed over the phone.
We know that when your spouse seems dead set against working things out, it can be really stressful for you and when you're hurting, it's hard to see the solutions that might lie right under your nose. We'll help you gain clarity on your situation and offer you suggestions about what to do next.
2. What is the difference between coaching and counseling? Coaching is different from counseling. If you've ever had counseling, chances are, your counselor spent lots of time helping you understand the past and why you do what you do. The theory is, if you're having a problem, you can't change until you understand the underlying psychological issues of the past and this process usually requires many sessions. We disagree. Although you might need to talk about the past to explain the problem, you will quickly be guided to what you need to do today to make things better. Our focus is on the future. Plus, we know that change can happen quickly.
Another difference is that counselors often see themselves as "experts" who help you "fix" yourself in some way. Divorce Busting Coaches, on the hand, see themselves as "teammates" and focus on your inner strengths and resources to help you achieve your personal goals.
Coaching is a perfect model for marriages in distress because when you're in pain, you shouldn't wallow in the past because you won't find solutions there. Furthermore, by focusing on your strengths rather than your short-comings, you will feel truly resilient.
3. What does Divorce Busting coaching provide that I can't get from reading Michele's books? When you talk to a Divorce Busting coach, you will understand how the Divorce Busting principles apply to you and your spouse. Your coach will help you personalize the Divorce Busting strategies and assist you in coming up with an action plan that fits your life circumstances, personality, values and problem-solving style. By the time you hang up, you will feel clear about the steps you need to take to create a relationship breakthrough.
Another advantage of Divorce Busting coaching is that you can have your specific questions answered about the books or about the challenges you've been experiencing trying to mend your marriage on your own. Additionally, your coach will be your cheerleader, offering you the emotional support and encouragement you'll need to stick to your plan and get back on track when you've had a bad day. In a very real sense, you'll feel that your coach is standing on the sidelines, cheering you on as you focus your energies on repairing your relationship and maintaining a stable family life in the interim.
4. Can all marriages be saved? Ninety percent of the people who call our coaches have relationships that are teetering on the brink of divorce- there are affairs, separations, or divorces that are already in motion - and many of these relationships not only survive, they flourish. However, this is not true for everyone. There are some spouses who feel that change has come too little, too late. But years of experience has taught us that it is impossible to identify which couples will make it and which ones won't. Some relationships that are plagued with severe problems such as chronic infidelity or substance abuse become healthy again. Other people with only minor, petty problems end up calling it quits. Although we know not all marriages can be saved, we approach yours with the belief that you will beat the odds.
Another reason to call. If you're like most people who call us, you want to be thoroughly convinced that, regardless of the end result, you have tried everything humanly possible to save your marriage. People tell us that it helps them sleep at night and ultimately saves their sanity.
5. How do I schedule a session with a Divorce Busting coach? You can schedule a telephone consultation by calling The Divorce Busting Center at 800-664-2435 or 303-444-7004. (If you're calling internationally, call 303-444-7004.) You can also email Virginia, Michele's assistant, at virginia@divorcebusting.com. Include your name and a daytime telephone number. You will be contacted promptly. Or sign up for a Divorce Busting® Coaching Consultation online.
6. Do I call my coach or will my coach call me? You will be given your coach's telephone number. It is up to you to call your Divorce Busting coach at your scheduled appointment time.
7. How often should I speak to my coach? Most people begin by scheduling three sessions with their coach. This enables them to set concrete goals, get specific advice about how to approach their spouses differently, receive helpful homework assignments and then check back two more times to discuss results and fine tune their plans. We advise you to allow enough time in between calls for you to implement the ideas and observe signs of change. You will really feel guided step-by-step through the marriage-saving process. After the initial sessions, it is common for people to sign up for additional sessions to keep the ball rolling.
On the other hand, you may be more inclined to start by scheduling just one phone session. This is certainly another option to consider.
8. Can I request a particular coach? Absolutely!
9. How long is the session? Your telephone session will last forty-five to fifty minutes.
10. When are your coaches available? Divorce Busting coaches schedules vary. However, daytime, evening and weekend hours are available.
11. How much does it cost? One 45-50 minute coaching session costs $150. However, you can save $60 when you register for the three-session package. The cost for three sessions is $390. This is payable with a Visa or MasterCard at the time you schedule your initial consultation.
12. Is coaching covered by insurance? No. However, the cost of coaching remains extremely reasonable when you consider that you will probably require far fewer sessions than you would if you were to seek traditional counseling.
13. What is your cancellation policy? Because your coach is reserving your appointment time especially for you, we can not refund your money nor reschedule your phone consultation. For this reason, make sure you are available during the time slot you choose and remember to call your coach at your scheduled appointment time.
One question that DB Coaches are fequently asked is how to STOP ruminating, playing conversations over and over again in your mind, or simply constantly thinking of your situation.
Here's some THOUGHT-STOPPING advice from DB Coach, Laurie.
1. When those thoughts start, imagine a big red flashing stop light telling you to immediately stop your running thoughts.
2. Then turn your attention to thoughts that can distract you. It could your favorite song, a prayer, verse, poem, envisioning a wonderful vacation, or whatever you want it to be. I would encourage you to go back to the same distraction every time, as your brain will begin to connect your "new thought" to a more calming mood. Along with this process, really slow down your breathing and relax.
3. Give this many weeks to begin to start slowing down your thought cycle. Know that you may need to mentally go to the stop light many times at first, but don't give up! More and more, your new distraction will move you away for longer periods of time.
And remember - keep spending time with friends, family, and activties! Stay involved.
Laurie Divorce Busting Relationship Coach Contact The Divorce Busting Center at 303-444-7004 or 800-664-2435 if you would like to schedule a telephone consultation with a Divorce Busting Coach - or email virginia@divorcebusting.com for info.
I have had the pleasure of working with my DB Coach for about two months now. She has truly been a lifesaver. My success has been nothing less than remarkable. The coaching is worth every penny. Divorce Busting has saved my life and it is also saving my marriage.
