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#1311364 12/30/07 09:06 AM
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Well, another thread locked.
First Thread.
Second Thread.
Last Thread

And here are some lyrics to the new thread title:

Used To The Pain
Keith Urban

And so I wrote this song for you
I think I know just what you're going through
Did you believe you'd never change
Nothing ever stays the same

I know it's hard holding on
Even harder trying to let it go
And so you're frozen like a stone
But you are not alone

Every step I take
I get a little less afraid
Of giving into love
Love, let it out
Believe me when I say
It gets better every day
Once you get used to the pain

What you hide inside I see
There's a scar that's always gonna be
There's a past in everyone
You can't undo, you can't outrun

Every step I take
I get a little less afraid
Of giving into love
Love, let it out
Believe me when I say
It gets better every day
Once you get used to the pain

Every step I take
I get a little less afraid
Of giving into love
Love, let it out
Believe me when I say
It gets better every day
Once you get used to the pain

Once you get used to the pain



Me: 49
WAW: 47
S11, S7
Years Married/Together: 17/18
Bomb: 6/15/07
Separation: 7/6/07
D: 4/3/09

Real love is a decision.
Marriage is a commitment.
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Just a quick note.

I have the boys for an extended weekend. Today, Sunday, is oldest's birthday -- S6 becomes S7 -- hurray!

Got to go. More later.


Me: 49
WAW: 47
S11, S7
Years Married/Together: 17/18
Bomb: 6/15/07
Separation: 7/6/07
D: 4/3/09

Real love is a decision.
Marriage is a commitment.
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 2,866
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nocodes,

just wanted to check in and say happy new year.. I hope this one is better for you.

\:\)

tal


me: 37
H: 44
Married for 18 years this june
S7
S3
porn issues, and much more... since 7/06

Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
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Yay for more kiddo time! Enjoy and hurry back to us. \:\)

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Happy New Year to you too, Tal, and everyone else here.


Me: 49
WAW: 47
S11, S7
Years Married/Together: 17/18
Bomb: 6/15/07
Separation: 7/6/07
D: 4/3/09

Real love is a decision.
Marriage is a commitment.
LL44 #1312179 12/31/07 05:05 AM
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Kiddo time has been great -- and it isn't over yet!

W took the boys to see her aunt and uncle overnight on Thursday. They got back very late Friday evening, so she dropped them off here at the apartment directly. S7 told me all about the birthday party they had for him Thursday night, showed me all the gifts he got. S7's actual birthday was today, and W has been putting on her "boo-hoo" tone about having to work the entire extended holiday weekend, including on our eldest's birthday -- she pouts that she won't get to spend time with "her baby" on his birthday. I commiserate openly with W a little, but at the same time I am thinking, "Well, that's tough. You made this bed, so..."

S7 is a Lego fanatic -- so that's mostly what he's been getting for Christmas and birthdays. Lego just introduced their Indiana Jones line right before Christmas, and Santa brought S7 a nice set. For his birthday, I got S7 another set in this series. I also got myself the boxed DVD collection for the Indiana Jones movies -- I figured it was high time I intro my S's to some of the best action-adventure out there, especially with their new Lego sets. We watched Raiders last night and the boys were crazy for it. Every chance they get now they play with the new I-J toys.

I called and left a voicemail message to W early this morning to thank her for bearing our son(s) and giving us two such wonderful boys, way back when. I left the message at the precise time in the morning that S7 had been born.

W later called back and thanked me for such a sweet, thoughtful message. The rest of today whenever we've talked with each other, we have been extra nice, cordial and understanding with each other.

We saw the Water Horse today at the theatre this evening. The boys seemed to really enjoy it.

On a less than positive note, S7 was given a new stuffed bear toy and I noted it was included in his belongings I brought back to the apartment on Friday. The toy came with a children's story book. Well, the bear happens to have the same name as W's OM. I gingerly asked S7 about whose idea it was. It was W's.

I have two problems with this:
(1) After chastising me for being somewhat susceptible to impulse buys, it appears that W plans to live by a double-standard.
(2) Buying S7 a toy bear named after OM is crossing a line




Last edited by NoCodeBlues; 12/31/07 05:06 AM.

Me: 49
WAW: 47
S11, S7
Years Married/Together: 17/18
Bomb: 6/15/07
Separation: 7/6/07
D: 4/3/09

Real love is a decision.
Marriage is a commitment.
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6,350
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Hey Blue,

Up until the part about the bear I was thinking what a good interchange you and your wife have been having. I wouldn't worry too much about her naming the bear. Your son is not likely to attach to a stuffed animal that she told him the name of. It will fall to the wayside. Bears are only good if you get to name them yourself. Every kid knows that.

Sara #1312917 12/31/07 10:56 PM
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My D3 named her Webkinz OW's D's name. I hear ya, mister. I feel ya.

Like Sara, I was all pumped up about the good exchange too. But...the good exchange still happened, so that is a good thing. I think that you put the message to your W about your sons and her being a mother was great. That made you out (as it should because you are!) as very thoughtful and considerate. Not someone that should make your wife nervous and anxious...

Happy New Year!

LL44 #1313256 01/01/08 06:28 AM
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Happy New Year to everyone.

This is a very confusing end to a sad year.

Late this afternoon I was about to head out with our 2 S's to find something to eat and let the boys stretch their legs one last time before settling down this evening, when W called. W asked what we were planning for the rest of the day and inquired whether we'd be available for a brief visit. She then offered to bring supper, picking up some fast food for all of us along the way. At first W was deciding that since we were planning on going back out that she wouldn't come in that case, but I told her S3 had continually asked about her more and more as his time away from her increased. So we agreed it would be good for our S's.

W arrived and the boys were indeed happy to see her. We all ate and talked. W said her work schedule was so full that she needed to "ask" (read: tell) me if I would keep our S's one more evening -- which was not the original plan. But then W did warn me earlier that she had no idea how her work schedule would go for this 4-day holiday weekend. I have made it a habit of mine to always be ready to take my S's, even if it means altering my own plans. So I agreed -- with a twinge of reservation... and suspicion.

W left afterwards saying she had to visit the office for paperwork on some patients she is to visit early tomorrow.

Since she left it has been playing on my mind. I have resisted temptations to drive over to her office to see if she really went there -- I know that OM's apartment is on that side of town as well. If W is really still seeing OM, I cannot imagine her wanting to be away from her "soul-mate" on the one night she'd want to be kissed.

The boys stayed up with me until midnight -- they held up pretty well and then it was time for bed, at last. But both of them each stated they wanted their mommy. S3 wanted to go back down to the house to "sleep with Mommy"; S7 wanted his mother to be there so he could hug her goodnight and bring in the new year. They both then said they wanted to sleep back at the house tonight.

I was really tempted to take them up on their requests. But I knew that my ulterior motive was to check up on W, to see if she was really at home this late at night -- or celebrating with OM on New Year's, instead of what she said she was going to do.

I've called the house number several times -- no answer, just the answering machine. The boys seemed shattered at not being able to wish her a Happy New Year having managed to stay awake to do so.

I put the boys to bed, and I redialed several times for over an hour now. She's not there; she can't possibly be. She's not supposed to be on call either, by her own words.

But I know the answer, and yet part of me wants to know, to have irrefutable proof -- because, God knows, she's gonna' see that I have called and come up with all manner of excuses for why she wouldn't pick up the phone.

Heaven forbid something would be happening to one o the children while no one could reach her. Some mother.

I know I am supposed to detach -- but right now I can't help but obsess over this. I feel like I have to know, to be sure. She is the queen of denial though (just like her mother), there is nothing I can say to get her to acknowledge the truth of her actions. But the other part of me is cooler, and realizing I finally got two little boys off to sleep one more night here, when they were missing their mamma, I don't want to drag them out of their beds -- that would not be the nice, fatherly thing to do.

If I don't get my proof positive tonight, there may be other chances. And I keep thinking that calling the OM's W might be in order, although that can be a potential powder keg itself.

What to do? What to do? I don't think I can sleep.


Me: 49
WAW: 47
S11, S7
Years Married/Together: 17/18
Bomb: 6/15/07
Separation: 7/6/07
D: 4/3/09

Real love is a decision.
Marriage is a commitment.
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 407
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No Code... I feel the same as you, except I know for sure she is with OM.

Hang in there, Im with you!


Hurtin: 32
WAW: 30
D: 8
Bomb: 10/05
Sep: 12/05
Back together 8/07
Bomb (OM): 11/07
Filed for D (me): 12/07
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