Sara, you're right. Attacks are not conducive to getting one's message across.
I've pulled my punches with her for a very long time now, and even in these opening offensives, I still am holding back quite a bit. There's a [b]lot[/b] for which W will have to face our Maker for some day.
But she probably did not get past the first paragraph.
don't know ifI am late on this but sara is right. She has "prof read" my leters. I am the kingof leters. then agian like someone else said my W did not realyy ignore the letters butthey did not do anyting but maybe push her deeper into confusion. got ta go head ache is comming back. I know you have heard this before and I kow every sitch is differant. but one thing I do know IF it is going to work out in your favor IT WILL TAKE TIME. Hey if it does not work out at least you gave it your best
take care buddy
Husband
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
I was just telling my coworker today about how I am pretty much "done" with W unless she begins to start communicating back with me. I have predicted that W will likely act like I never sent the email letter I posted above -- just as she tries to downplay or ignore any attempt by me to turn the focus of the conversation back on her, in even the smallest degree. I also predicted to my friend that W's pattern would be that if she cannot attack me directly on our failed R, her next target would be to attack my fatherhood of my 2 S's.
Well this evening I was proven right. After I called to say good night to our sons, W accused me of poisoning her relationship with S6. She said that I told S6 that I am too busy working to maintain two households to play with him -- and that was Mommy's fault.
I told W that I said no such thing. The most I've ever said with regards to that was that I apologized to my S's for those weekends that I am on-call and have to sometimes break away to handle work-related issues, but in no way did I imply that I had to work extra because of W. She said that the only reason S6 would feel so sorry for his father was if I were playing he victim and making her out to be the bad guy. I told her I did no such thing.
W finally asked, "Well, how do you think S6 could possibly have gotten such an idea in his head unless you were doing that very thing?"
Resisting being baited, I calmly told W, "You believe what you want to believe." And then ended the conversation.
Afterwards, I got to thinking about this. My first thought is that W is making more out of something much less that S6 might have said, or S6 repeated something, but he really didn't hear it from me. And I thought further about this -- part of me began to wonder if MIL is really diabolical enough to be planting these conversations in S6's mind. It sounds farfetched and normally I wouldn't give it any more thought, but the MIL has ready access to our son, and she has a motive, and I have also caught her on more than one occasion in outright lies and assassinating my character to elevate her position in our household, at my expense. So would she really stoop to weaving tales in S6's ears, hoping he would parrot them back before W? A crazy, paranoid thought, I know, but I can't help considering it.
Oh please...someone...don't let MIL be *that* spiteful, that hateful....that would make me lose the thread of faith I have left in people. I don't think so. I think S6 probably said someting, and W's guilt took it the wrong way and she did what she does best...calls and blames you. UGH
Lwb, on further consideration, it's only a passing thought. All things else being equal, it's more likely W is again having another fit of the Alien Mindbenders again -- there's plenty of precedence for that, and no need to stretch for more complicated an explanation.
Trying to catch up on your stitch.. Good letter, and at this point, I know you have been calm and collected throughout and it was time to give it a "jolt" if you will. She is a real piece of work, trying to drag your S6 into this... it definately sounds like she is making up these stories in her alien head of hers.
Keep up the faith, either way i think you are in a good place in your mind, as much as it hurts, there needs to be a light at the end of the tunnel be it with you or without you.
i cannot believe she hasn't said anything about the letter though... that shows how messed up they are.
((hugs))
tal
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
It must be pretty darn cold outside today, 'cause H*ll just froze over -- my W responded to my email letter!
Surprise, surprise.
Here is her (rather terse) reply (edited to protect the innocent):
"Your words sound very good. But you still treat me like a mosquito. You didn't listen to my recommendation about how to time the payments from the joint bank account & you overdrafted it again. It bothers me. I bother you. You acted like you resented my presence before we separated & I know that will just intensify as it has with other people you resent over the years & your job etc...... Why would I want to go back to that?"
I am giving this some time before crafting a reply -- or not sending a reply at all, if I so determine.
(The overdraft is a total non-issue -- the account has overdraft protection. I knew it was going to be close, but not that worried. I am not sure why she gets so upset about it -- other than her fumbling for some wedge issue to throw in my face. All part of the alien master plan to keep me on the defensive.)
