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#118474 07/12/04 12:07 PM
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Thanks Zblue...Its most difficult for sure! I want her so much to miss me and hope one day can realize what we had was and still is good regardless of her childrens faults. Then on the flip side, her kids may say no mom...it is a tough road to travel! So many unknowns of what a woman really thinks and feels in these situations with expressing it you! Im so elated that Sunday was a GOOD DAY! I hope and pray for many more! My biggest issue is her not trying in her own heart to know for sure if she did the right thing without another attempt! If that happens then I have to realize she really didnt love me or I really didnt know the woman at all! And then her issues are deeper than I can relate too! Does a woman go through that process of wondering and thinking can I live without this man? Do I love him? etc etc..

#118475 07/14/04 03:01 AM
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Update! After Sundays nice call with WAW, I came hoem fromwork to se she called me athome at 933 but left no message. I have to assume she is thinking of me to call but Im giving her total space! So maybe she may be thinking, who knows but I can only wish for more i guess at this point!

#118476 07/14/04 03:05 AM
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Quote:

but Im giving her total space!



Good for you. Wait for her to call again. She will.


X
Love, confidence, trust, and patience.
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#118477 09/04/04 10:37 PM
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Sometimes, it doesn't hurt to be not so available, and to "let" them miss you.


JJ

Read about Divorce Busting® Telephone Coaching here!
#118478 09/04/04 11:40 PM
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What a great title... Making them miss you. Spouses sure send mix signals. Mine sure seems like she doesn't, but then asks questions that may hint that she does. I have no idea. All your responses here has helped me. QUESTION.... Did I read somewhere in Michelle's book that if they still nag or still critisize you, that is a good thing, meaning they still care? Sounds strange, but does somebody know if it says something like this?

#118479 09/05/04 10:52 AM
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I dont think my wife miss's me one bit. "sigh"

#118480 09/05/04 02:46 PM
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This is a really great thread. A lot of food for thought. How sad that I can't even remember many of the things my husband used to love about me. I think it was my thirst for life and my "go for it" and "let nothing hold me back" attitude. Over the last couple of years I got too scared of failure and too comfortable with my job/money to go after some of the goals I have. Part of my 180 will be pursuing those goals. I wanted him by my side but maybe he'll want to be back by my side when he sees the changes.

I was supposed to move out this weekend but since we have the Hurricane moving over us slowly (oh so slowly) but surely, I am at a standstill. I took my first load of things to the apartment yesterday. That was HARD. I cried my eyes out last night (behind closed door so husband didn't know).

I know we will have contact via phone and email and in person a few times because of a house we are building (selling it though, he is antimate about this separation). So I am going to use some of the advice posted here. It is so hard to stick to it, but I am trying.

My big thing is how can I support him when I am not with him? Very long story short, my husband is in graduate school and works full time. I travel a lot for my job. When I would come home I always wanted him to pay attention to me. To spend all of his time with me. I would get mad if he studied (which of course he had to!). I would get mad if he would talk to his family on the phone. I cannot believe I acted like this. So for the last two years there was a total lack of support on my part. He was doing this for the both of us. So he could move up and allow me to go to grad school full-time. Why couldn't I see that? Well no point in questioning things now. What is done is done. There was a total lack of support on my part for anything school related. He has 8-9 months left of school. How do I show him that I really do support him and I am soooo proud of how awesome he does in school while maintaining a full-time banking career, which he also kicks butt at? How can I do this while we're separated?

Thanks to all for your wonderful feedback in this thread!


#118481 09/05/04 07:45 PM
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*hugs* to whomever created this thread....this is a great source for people doing a 7 stepper...or even a plan A.....

#118482 10/12/04 03:30 PM
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~~~~~


JJ

Read about Divorce Busting® Telephone Coaching here!
#118483 10/29/04 11:29 AM
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JJ, here's my story. I've been posting on the MLC thread (he has it bad).

Me 46
WH 44
2 kids, S17, D11
M 19 years (11/23)
PA 1998
EA(?) 2/04 (married (OW contemplating D) 3 kids (13, 10, 8)
ILYB... 3/04
Moved out 6/21

I've gone very dark. I can't seem to get it together. The last time I saw him he kissed me and held me...then left. H's living with a friend and continues to work, work, work. I think b/c he doesn't want to think, think, think.

Q how do you get them to miss you when they're busy w/someone else AND they're not living at home?

Your help is appreciated.
Susan

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