So much has happened. I wanted to give you all an update.
Several weeks ago, I went back to Pittsburgh. I felt the need to go by ex-W's mother's grave. I wanted to just go back to that spot to "tell" her mother how very sorry I was how things ended. I told her I did everything I could to save our marriage. It was an emotional time.
Later, I sent my ex-W the following in an e-mail:
Quote:
Kim,
Hi! How are you? I hope all is well. I have a few things on my heart I would like to share with you today.
I want to ask your forgiveness for all of the things I did and failed to do. You went shopping so many times alone and I just assumed you did not want me to go. I thought about getting a home improvement loan to fix the issues with the house but never mentioned it. I let you do many things on your own but did not offer to help. I told others how I admired your work ethic while never telling you. I mentioned other woman from my past which did not make you feel like you are the most precious woman I have had in my life. I wanted so badly for us to go to church together but did not follow through. I wanted so many times to spend time just enjoying your company but never told you. I told you I love you but never told you how much I appreciate you. I love you more than I could love any other woman yet I did not show you. I am truly sorry for hurting you in any way.
I want you to know I forgive you for everything. I cannot hold unforgiveness in my heart for someone who means so very much to me.
I would appreciate it if you would let me know you received my e-mail.
You are always in my prayers.
Take Care,
Rich
She never responded......................
Any thoughts?
RMG
"The bad things in life open your eyes to the good things you weren't paying attention to before." from "Good Will Hunting"
Hey RMG. I have to admit that I don't know your sitch, so please forgive my ignorance in advance.
So..what was the point of this email? Was it supposed to provide you with some type of closure? If so, that's fine. However, if it is, a response shouldn't really matter. So I get the feeling that it is more pursuing than anything else.
Also...big picture here...you mention a lot of things that you should or should not have done. But perhaps the problem isn't that you didn't do A,B & C...but that you should have been more agressive, followed through on things, and been more supportive. Because those things are kind of symptoms of these. Does that makes any sense?
Hey RMG. I have to admit that I don't know your sitch, so please forgive my ignorance in advance.
So..what was the point of this email? Was it supposed to provide you with some type of closure? If so, that's fine. However, if it is, a response shouldn't really matter. So I get the feeling that it is more pursuing than anything else.
Also...big picture here...you mention a lot of things that you should or should not have done. But perhaps the problem isn't that you didn't do A,B & C...but that you should have been more agressive, followed through on things, and been more supportive. Because those things are kind of symptoms of these. Does that makes any sense?
swashy,
It makes sense.
My intent was more based on closure. However, I did want to let her know I forgave her for everything. It is a big step for me. For her, that is important because if she wants to have any kind of future relationship, she knows the past is forgiven.
RMG
"The bad things in life open your eyes to the good things you weren't paying attention to before." from "Good Will Hunting"
No offense RMG...but she may not give a sh*t if you forgive her or not. I suggest that if you are going to forgive her, do it for yourself, not her. Carrying resentment and anger around for what she did and the way she acted will only hurt you in any future relationships you have.
No offense RMG...but she may not give a sh*t if you forgive her or not. I suggest that if you are going to forgive her, do it for yourself, not her. Carrying resentment and anger around for what she did and the way she acted will only hurt you in any future relationships you have.
swashy,
I understand she probably does not care. It is all about her. She says God can deal with her. He will.
As for me, I have really forgiven her for myself and moved along. God has blessed me with a wonderful group of friends to help me along the way.
RMG
"The bad things in life open your eyes to the good things you weren't paying attention to before." from "Good Will Hunting"
RMG - she may care. She may have sat and cried for an hour over what you wrote. I have no idea. My point is, you don't know either. So when saying or doing something...just make sure it is for you and true and not some ploy to get her back. Because at some point you may regret saying it. That's all.
RMG - she may care. She may have sat and cried for an hour over what you wrote. I have no idea. My point is, you don't know either. So when saying or doing something...just make sure it is for you and true and not some ploy to get her back. Because at some point you may regret saying it. That's all.
swashy,
I hear and understand you. What I wrote truly was from my heart. I would not write something just to tug at her heartstrings.
Both of my female friends who read it were moved to tears. Do I think she cried over it? I believe she did. I think it may have touched her so deeply she did not respond.
I really think she is wrestling with exactly who I am. Am I the neglectful, self centered, money hungry, uncaring guy she perceives me to be? Am I the loving, caring and compassionate guy who cares about his friends and family? Does she remember I value all living creatures so much I would pick up worms off the sidewalk and put them back in the grass? Who knows?
RMG
"The bad things in life open your eyes to the good things you weren't paying attention to before." from "Good Will Hunting"
Everything she may have thought may have seemed trite or if it angered her, which it well could have, how could she respond in that anger to such a heartfelt letter? Thus, silence. I feel pretty certain she had mixed emotions but for you, I think the letter was a good thing and you did a good job. Those things you wrote aren't easy to realize about yourself and to actually admit it to someone that has hurt you takes mucho humility. Good work!
In closing, let's go with this:
Leave the worms alone and be sure to take good care of the people in your path from now on. That's your lesson... Don't leave things undone and unsaid.
That's how you turn your curses into blessings. By being one.
Oh, okay dagnabbit... Save a worm along the way, too, when ya can.
Everything she may have thought may have seemed trite or if it angered her, which it well could have, how could she respond in that anger to such a heartfelt letter? Thus, silence. I feel pretty certain she had mixed emotions but for you, I think the letter was a good thing and you did a good job. Those things you wrote aren't easy to realize about yourself and to actually admit it to someone that has hurt you takes mucho humility. Good work!
In closing, let's go with this:
Leave the worms alone and be sure to take good care of the people in your path from now on. That's your lesson... Don't leave things undone and unsaid.
That's how you turn your curses into blessings. By being one.
Oh, okay dagnabbit... Save a worm along the way, too, when ya can.
Amy,
I appreciate your thoughts. I really do understand what I should have done. I am certain I take care of all of the people in my life now.
I wonder what her reaction was. Well, I will probably never know...
Thanks,
RMG
"The bad things in life open your eyes to the good things you weren't paying attention to before." from "Good Will Hunting"
Who knows?