I can't believe we were at Disney at the same time. You 47 Me 46 - you young daughter - me young daughter - You without your wife - me without my wife - Did your daughter have a smile wrapping all the way around her face?? Mine too!
What a crowd! And so much fun. I have to keep this cryptic because wife may see it one day but @#$##@ ^^&& **&^&^^ which means - Disney was easier without her. Actually I still have a lot of love for my wife so in all fairness to her she has never had a fondness for crowds or able to put up with much inconvienance. Being just my daughter and I we went where she wanted and it was much easier to please a party of one rather than a party of three.
Hope you both had fun also!!!
By the way
Originally Posted By: native
God would provide me with the work I needed to take care of the bills and a little more. Normally I would not pray for such things, because I don't think a relationship with God is about money
Just to share a perception - you didn't ask for money. You asked for the opportunity to do honest work and provide for your family. There's difference and your daughter has a great role model.
Let me know how you enjoyed the parks. I am a bad dad.... let daughter stay at park until 12:30 and ride the goofy roller coaster until she was too tired to run from the exit to the entrance. Smile was still on her face while sleeping on the way home
We are in Orlando today, after 10-11 hrs driving yesterday. I woke up feeling pretty bad. I think its a cold. trying to rest while my parents take Emma to the pool.
Weather is really nice, a bit warm. Anole's (little lizards) everywhere to my daughter's delight. Fresh kumquats in the back yard. Very tropical, love it!
Tomorrow its Animal Kingdom. W called back, sounded upbeat, having barbecue with family today.
Nice to know someone else has ridden this roller coaster too. I think I felt like I could help her when we met. I've seen a lot of women choose men for that reason. Didn't realize how easy it was to fall into that...
I don't think she is very happy, even with everything she thought she needed. But I think she is slowly realizing it is because of her problems. I can be just a friend, I can do that.
Frankly, I have a lot of things I want to do professionally but with her riding on my back could not have pursued them. Now I am able to dream and try some new things, so it's not all bad.
I think too, Emma gets more undivided attention from both of us, which I know she likes. A friend of mine who grew up in a divorced family said that was one of the perks he got, so I am thankful for little things.
Last edited by native; 04/12/0907:00 PM.
Me 47, W 32,D 6, Met 11 yrs. ago, M 7 Bomb 4/08/08, Sep. 8/10/08, Div. 8/10/09
We hit Blizzard Beach (water park) one day and it was a blast.
Other than that we just hit the park early and got "fast passes". In the middle of the day we did all the non ride stuff - train, parades, shows then hit the rides again as the lines died around 8pm.
If you do the train get her to the very back and she can stand there with the conductor. they will let her say "all aboard" on the radio. That made my daughters afternoon.
Have fun buddy! I am off to Easter Dinner with wife, daughter and inlaws. No expectations except that it will be great food!
Still here at Disney with two days to go. Perfect weather today, a bit warm. We did the Magic Kingdom today...crowded!
Emma enjoyed the Swiss Family Robinson treehouse and the Pirates of the Carribean, but was a little worried the latter was going to be too much for her. I made the mistake of taking her on the Mt. Everest roller coaster on Monday and may have scarred her for life. Overall, she is having a great time.
W called around 10 am to find out how we were doing. It was too noisy to talk so I told her we would call back later. Had daughter call her and did not plan to speak until she requested to talk to me. Seemed upbeat. She had her freaky friends over and I could hear them in the background.
She was in a friendly sharing mode and wanted me to know she had made an offer on a house.
Of course this just poured cold water on my parade. It tells me she has not interest in reconcilliation, and it is a bit of a slap in the face as she has left me with the mortgage on a house that is unsellable and about 50K in non-mortgage debt.
Frankly I feel she has chosen to avoid her responsibility and I am left holding the bag. Yet, let me be quick to say, it is a small price to pay to be off the emotional rollercoaster that was life with her.
But to say she has lost my respect is an understatement.
If she tries to force the sale of the house to get off the title, I will push for her to assume half the other 50K in debt. I think it is time to consult a lawyer.
Me 47, W 32,D 6, Met 11 yrs. ago, M 7 Bomb 4/08/08, Sep. 8/10/08, Div. 8/10/09
Hey native, Good to hear you are having a fun time!!!!
Sounds like your W called only to try & ruin it. Yep, we all hit that point, where it's time to at least consult a lawyer. But forget about that for now - you're on vacation.
Hope the rest of your days there are fantastic!!!!
Me39, XH45 Kids 3 dogs, 2 cats Divorced 6/4/09 Tricky thing is not how you live, but how you live with yourself. (POTC)
Everest....that's an awesome ride. My daughter didn't want to ride it the year before but did so because everyone else was...then she wanted to keep riding it.
It's funny. My daughter kept asking me about the Swiss Family Tree house. Why were they there, Where did the stuff come from, How many were they? Is that story not around anymore for kids?????? I told her we would get the book and read it - she said no lets get the movie and watch it LOL! 21 century ARGH!!!!! Maybe I can get it to download to my cell phone HA! HA!
Sounds like you guys are having a blast and as a friend told me...It's the happiest place onthe planet
If you get some time to kill take her out to Downtown Disney. There is a magic shop in the sidewalk mall. They exhibit magic tricks all day long. My daughter was facinated, and didn't want to leave. SO! there is a cuban restuarant right across that sidewalk with an outdoor cabana bar. You can order a mojito without ever taking your eyes off your daughter LOL! Dads have to have Dad time
We actually finished up Disney at the Epcot center for the last two days. I always thought it was a boring name, but the world showcase was pretty neat. Visiting all the different countries was a lot of fun, esp. since I like to travel. Sure there were parts that were a bit fake ( mainly in the matls. they constructed the buildings from...the curse of my architectual background that I would notice.)
Emma was having fun chasing ducks but she really came into her own when we went to Morocco. When she saw the belly dancers she was mesmerized. It wasn't long before she had a belly dancing skirt on and was out there cuttin a rug with the rest of them.
The girls who were in the bazaar area where the music and dancing was going on were very impressed with her. One asked me where she took lessons. When I told her she had never had a lesson in her life, she was shocked. The one who put her henna tattoo on said she had 'it' (the spirit of dance?) in her.
And she was hamming it up too. At one point she ended up on her knees and leaned back all the way to the floor while dancing. This became her signature move. Or was it the belly wave that became her signature move ? Either way, the women there were blown away and my daughter, having become intoxicated with the attention and interest they paid her spent the rest of the night dancing and trying to get everyone's attention, which she did. All the way to the car....
Overall, I had some really special times with her and we connected even more deeply than we had before. We had a lot of fun, and I know this will have been a very memorable time for her.
Oh yeah, her grandmother bought her that skirt and I got her some belly dancing music. If you can't fight em.....
Last edited by native; 04/20/0903:14 AM.
Me 47, W 32,D 6, Met 11 yrs. ago, M 7 Bomb 4/08/08, Sep. 8/10/08, Div. 8/10/09
On the way home, I read a very appropos book for my situation. It was called 'Forgiving the Dead Man Walking' by Debbie Morris.
I would recommend it to anyone who's spouse is struggling with rape trauma. It is very helpful re: understanding the anger, distrust, loneliness and depression that a rape victim can struggle with and filled me with renewed compassion for my wife.
I did bring it to her when I dropped off some clothes for our d this evening. She asked about it but things did not go the way I had hoped, but more along the lines of what I expected.
She did not want to read anything heavy, felt like she was living it, knew everything that woman was going through anyway, and would have rather that I would have told her how it helped me to understand her feelings rather than me try to give her something to fix her.
Of course, in her anger, she was misfiring all over the place and missing badly.
I left as there was no way anything constructive was going to happen, but resumed the conversation by text, which actually ended well enough, but lasted for a solid 50 minutes.
Her convo was still peppered with accusations here and there, but along with some admissions about the hardness of her heart and not feeling anything and her long 7 years of lonliness, I think I was able to convince her that I was beginning to understand her struggles.
Though the whole convo was unpleasant and bumpy, I think it was right on target because it really hit a nerve with her.
Some of her early texts were irrational. By that I mean she completely ignored her part in my becoming upset and characterized my behaviour in deciding to leave as 'storming out' and 'blaming' her.
Not quite the reality.
Her tone was bitter and sarcastic for a while, but I kept it on a non-accusatory and understanding tone.
She still blames me for not knowing what to do with her rape trauma fallout for the last 7 years of our marriage.
Msm, you may be the only one who knows this, but I couldn't figure out what our problems were related to, much less know how to respond to a deeply wounded rape trauma victem who has denied her trauma and its effects for 7 years.
Anyway, we are far from happyville, but it helps me to feel a little better to understand where she is coming from and that it's not really about me.
And it enables me to have a lot more patience and understanding for her raging. She is hurting deeply.
I can't fix her, but I threw out a rope in suggesting she read the book. She may not read it for some time, but she would do well to see how someone else found meaning and healing in spite of suffering a much more traumatic situation than she has described to me.
Last edited by native; 04/20/0903:36 AM.
Me 47, W 32,D 6, Met 11 yrs. ago, M 7 Bomb 4/08/08, Sep. 8/10/08, Div. 8/10/09
