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fishobx Offline OP
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Hi all,
I haven't been to visit in a long time, but I've given this board and you wonderful people credit more than once with helping to keep me sane last year!

I'm still hanging in there. Things are better...not perfect by any means, and basically I'm still in "don't pressure" mode, but the babysteps come more and more frequently. We have nice moments, good times. I've been meaning to post an update for a long while, but I don't have a lot of time tonight. That's always my excuse, however, so I thought I should just jump in and say hi. I'm not ready to send my post to the "sucess stories" thread, but I definitely think it might happen someday! In the meantime, just wanted to say hi. I'm going to try to catch up on everyone tomorrow. I hope there's more good news out there, although I realize we probably don't post during the good times nearly as much as we should. That's why I'm here. Hope to pass on some hope.

Everyone have a great night!

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Hiya my beautiful Fish!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so happy to hear from you.

I always think about you, and so does Brue.

Glad you and the Mr. are moving along.

SMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCHES and hugs mamma


“Pray as though everything depended on God. Work as though everything depended on you.”
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fishobx Offline OP
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wow...a reply within 60 seconds. Thank you Lissett...I will definitely be stopping by to catch up. Gotta run tonight though. And this is GAL, not hubby. That's one thing I learned for sure, I still need my life and my friends. I'll be back tomorrow!

XOXOXO

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Hey Fish!!!
I was just thinking about you yesterday - but I didn't realize you had posted! Thanks to Lissett's ever-busy thread - she remarked about it there so I went a-lookin' for it.

I'm so happy things are still hanging in there for you. Will look forward to the BIG update. I think this board could use some positive messages - there's been a LOT of down in the dumps stuff lately.

PMA is so key to getting a life. I haven't seen a lot of it around here and it can get depressing.

I have missed you - but you are an excellent example always for me. I KNOW you're not here because you actually are GAL (outside of your H) - and that helps me get going with my own as well. I'm serious........I do think of you often and know that you are being true to yourself and what you need to do.

I'm so glad you stopped by for a moment to let us know how you are.

My H is pretty much back home now. He moves the rest of his stuff tomorrow. kinda wierd........i've actually gotten used to being on my own. now i have to cook again!!!

love you,

brue


I'm alive, I'm happy - why shouldn't I tell the world I've got my head screwed back on just fine.
Life is good for the Brue!
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Hi fish! I am fairly new here.

I want to thank you for your update. I love to hear when someone is doing well.

I am extremely happy for you and your H.


Me:56, W:51
D:26,S:24,S:22
Married:18
Bomb 9/27/06
Separated 11/27/06
Divorced 10/6/08
Leaving it up to God
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Brue on My Wedding day,. the Captain thought he was Captain America and flew out of a building.

On My son's Communion day he comes home YAY, let the singing begin.

smoooches Fish


“Pray as though everything depended on God. Work as though everything depended on you.”
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I too am pleased to hear this good news, if I remeber rightly, your husband had the same symptoms as my wife locking bathroom doors and treating you as if yoiu had the plague.

Well done, I hope it continues.

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Hey fish!!!!!!!


I'm so glad you posted, and so pleased that you are living with small steady baby steps. Three cheers.

Please do come back and tell us more when you have a small break in your busy full life.

Hugs.
AH

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fishobx Offline OP
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wow...been a long time! I knew if I lurked long enough, I'd find a way to jump in. I posted a little on Fan's thread. I really want to be back here as a 100% success story, but I wonder if that will ever happen? I'm still doing really well, we are still together...and might as well give you the latest interesting tidbit....Unfortunately had a friend die right before xmas. This was a man that was part of a regular group my H hangs out with, and where he met OW. A little background...once this group realized what was happening, she was basically banned from their activities, so even though he has continued with this group--and so has OW's SO--to my knowledge he has not seen or talked to her since about May or June of 06--just a few months after I confirmed the A. So...I realized this woman might be at the funeral, knowing at the very least that her SO other was still good friends with the deceased. I was a little nervous, but figured this would be as good a place (safe a place) as any for me to run into her (she lives just 15 miles or so away from us).

I didn't recognize her! I noticed her, and thought, no, that's not her, is it? But I really didn't give it a lot of thought, and of course didn't want to stare to try to be sure. Afterwards, back at another friend's house (part of the group), one of the wives said to me, "Didn't she look awful?" I said, "Was that her?!!!" It couldn't have gone better. I know how petty it sounds, but she really did look AWFUL! I bet she's gained 40 pounds since I last saw her about 2 years ago. And there was absolutely no acknowledgement from my H that she was even there....no speaking, no eye contact, that I noticed. Thank God!

That little story feels like a milestone for me, but honestly, I can't say that there have been many others. My DBing really probably hasn't been all that great. There have been times, in the heat of a fight, when I've brought her up, said pretty awful things about her, and him. It's been a really long time since that's happened, though...guess I should give myself that credit. But we haven't had any R talks. He hasn't truly apologized or "re-committed" verbally. My Christmas present was a joke (not that I can really say he's ever been good at Christmas!). We do have fun--we go out a lot, have friends over, have met a lot of new friends, thanks to my GAL :-) But there still seems to be a lot missing. I'm just not sure how to change the dynamics now from giving him his space and GAL to really reconnecting.

I might should be on the piecing forum now, but I had to stop back in and check on everyone. I have to admit, it's hard going back through old threads to find everyone. If my old friends stop to say hello, please post a link on my thread to your latest thread(s). I hope everyone is well!

fish

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Hi!

Old Friend.

Just do not become complacent. Always strive to have a better marriage and better communications.



Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis

Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans

Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK

TRUST THE PROCESS - Cadet

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