Hi,H home over a year. Life couldn't be better. When I blew my candles out on Oct 13 I missed one. I just said that's Ok I can't imagine life getting any better.
I found a letter in my car. H borrowed my car. When I got into it the day after Halloween I found this letter from OW. Telling my H how much she misses him, what she would like to do to him. How is he looks and his snoring is a fading memory.
I gave the letter to my H and went to work. Needless to say the office phone rang off the hook. He said you have to believe me I have had no contact with her she is a crazy lady. When would I have time to see her I am always home and with you. He said I don't want to ever go back there again. He said if he did he wont be coming back because he will be dead. You are the strong one in this relationship. I feel guilty everyday for what I did to you.
He came to my work and held me for a long time. He cried and asked me to believe him. I said I do. But those awful nagging thoughts are back again. I really would like to confront her and give her a piece of my mind. I have never met her and know the best thing is to let it go don't encourage her.
I just needed to share that. I have been reading the board more this week in my hours of need. It is so nice to have a place to come.
I was reading someone's poem. Love like you have never been hurt and Dance like nobody is watching. That is how I lived my weekend with H and the kids at the cottage.
well it's good that the letter says she misses him, that means he is not seeing her anymore... it matters not what she wants or what she feels or if she wants to hang onto hopes of being with him again... as long as he doesn't want her and is there with you that is all you need be concerned with. don't have to tell you to stay away from her, knowing that the letter bothered you would only give her power.... she is her own problem and as long as h keeps being there with you she will eventually move on. I would assume that thoughts of ow or the "bad time" never actually dissapear completely they just fade until they are but an annoyance. stay strong and know that your h loves you and wants to be with you. LL
LL, thank-you very much for your warm response it is exactly what I needed to hear. Hy H said he found the letter on his truck on Halloween. The gool was out and must have taken the the opportunity to get a good look at me and my H. I asked him why he left the envelope in my car. He said he totally forgot about it. We went out that night had dinner and talked. You know he said the two years he was away is a complete blur to him. He still cant believe he did that. Thanks again LL Take care Loretta
Loretta, i do not know you and have only posted a couple of times to you, but I have read and re-read all your posts. You are way to strong and have come way to far to give this woman even a thought. Your H is a very lucky man to have you and he knows that. when the thought of her or confronting her comes into your head, Push it out and put a better thought there. Then, go put your arms around your husband and enjoy your life. My h left 7 months ago says he is never coming back talks divorce ect ect. He is living with OW and i am trying to hang on and do my best. Your stitch has helped me and given me hope. Take care bjehill
Dear bjehill, my heart goes out to you and all those still at the beginning. It is not an easy road. It was this road that made me so strong. I thank-you for your support and I am so glad I have given you something to hang onto. I know how you feel. I just go a taste or reminder of it and it is so painful. Be strong DB when interacting with your H and the rest of the time find who you are and what you really want out of a relationship. Thanks again ladies for coming by when I needed you. Take care Loretta
I remember the encouragement you were giving me way back in the early summer.
Try to look at the good side of this. The ghost shows up and leaves a message. Your H didn't hide it from you and you witnessed emotion from him. You got to experience how she made him feel.
I haven't a clue as to how a final ending/closure could be made that will make her leave you and your H alone but maybe your H can lead that conversation.
I keep hearing that any contact is bad but there has to be something that a 'couple' can convey that will get the finality across.
Glad things are going well for you, otherwise. Take care!
She's just pursuing. The note said that the snoring WAS a FADING MEMORY.
Just a ghost, that's all.
I saw my Hs xow at a store. All my 'forgiving by faith' every day, several times a day has worked. I was in the same store w her for a few minutes and I know she saw me. She turned all over pink but other than that her face was a perfect emotionless mask.
Our C says that the man and wife are growing a "field of trust". The ghost from your Hs past tried to plant some doubt and your H came to you to reassure/be reassured that the doubt hadn't taken root.
The two of you need to come up w a plan on how to deal w this should she try to surface in the future. For example, maybe he could bring the unopened envelope to you and the two of you could have it mailed, unopened , to the ghost.
Two weeks have come and gone and you are letting this fret you. I hope you can come up w a plan and then let her return to the past where she belongs. She's dead and just doesn't know it.
I took the afternoon off today. Attended Rememberance Day Parade with my DAD.
I took everything that was sent to me became very strong and pulled up in front of the house. I was planning to love like I have never been hurt before. H pulled up, I said I didnt have a very good day today. I dont want to talk about it. But I did. Told him my thoughts today werent pretty and I keep going back to that letter. Again he reassured me that it is nothing and I shouldnt think about it. He loves me and only me. I told him everytime something like this happens it knocks me back a few steps, it feels like someone is putting a dagger in my heart. I dont like feeling like this.
I went inside straight to the computer and Lily I read your last post to me. You are truly amazing. I went outside and said I have to ask you to do something for me. If you get another letter I want it brought home and we will return it unopened. He said he would do this.
I think I have pushed the envelope enough. Time to get back in the driver seat and proceed as I have been doing. I had so much fun at the cottage because that is the person I have become the one who Dances like nobody is watching.
I just dont like this person pulling my mood down. I wont let it anymore promise.
You guys are absolutely amazing. Thanks so much, Loretta
Just figure that she has to have time to find someone else to haunt. 'Til then, ya'll are it. Be a team and she will stay nothing but a wisp of HIStory. If you let her gain control of your mind then you're the one letting the poison seep into the field of trust between your H and you.
Stay strong! ------------------------------------------------------------ "Dance, when you're broken open.
