So, I'm not going to do a recap of my sitch here, but I will provide a link to my last thread ( Vacillations of a WAW Come Home IV), which is far too negative for this post to reside.
Well, as my title suggests, I think I can finally consider myself DB'd. To date I couldn't say this. I knew we were working on things, but as of yesterday, I think we can finally more forward with grace.
What a day yesterday was. I'm still trying to process some of the information, as it seems somewhat overwhelming after all I've gone through over the last almost two years, but...
So, yesterday evening before I left work I began getting tense about whether my W had told me the truth about a couple of things. Like I told you guys, I am having significant trust issues lately. So, I went home and asked her a question (which isn't really relevant now) and it opened the floodgates.
I ended up telling her that I don't feel like I can trust her because I feel as though she's holding things back from me...that I feel as though there are some things she hasn't told me that she should. Finally, after some time at me trying to explain this, she said, "there is one thing I have not told you." Uh oh! She said, "I went to see OM after you found out about my A to say goodbye." Well, I wasn't happy to hear this news, but I wasn't devestated either (as I know some of our Ses do need to do this). She said nothing happened (sexually), but she needed the closure, as it was like a breakup...and that their talk lasted about 15 minutes.
I was upset that it was yet another thing that she lied to me about, but we went upstairs to talk some more and this is where things got interesting. Again, it's hard for me to remember everything, as I'm still processing, but I will try to paraphrase... - She asked God for a sign if we were supposed to be together. This was asked when I first found out about her A and she wanted to know by June. As you guys know from what I've said, she's always questioned whether we should be together because we got together so young. Without telling you about the sign or what it was, let me just say she received this sign in a strong way Friday. - She said OM is not who she's meant to be with. It is me. - She said that she thought she loved OM (but never told him so), but she was really in love with the fact of being with someone else. The excitement of it all...blah...blah...blah... - She once again apologized for all the pain her A has caused, and went on about how terribly wrong it was. - She reiterated that OM is not half the man I am...that in my 33 years I'm so far beyond his 47... - She said she is feeling much better lately...about herself...and about us...and that she just wants to move forward. - She wants to spend some quality time with me alone...wants to go on a vaca. - She knows that there will be ups and downs in our M, but that's just the way it is. We have to keep doing what we're doing for the rest of our lives to ensure this kind of junk doesn't happen again. - She knows she has to continue to work on herself to get over her intimacy issues and is motivated to do so.
Gosh, guys, there was so much said that I don't think I can catalog it. She was so totally convincing. I feel very calmed by all of this, but my head is still reeling... And she's trying so hard. In fact, yesterday she sent me an e-mail that simply said, "You're awesome." I asked what prompted that and she said she was talking to her friend about issues with her H that she doesn't have with me and was grateful.
She said, "I went to see OM after you found out about my A to say goodbye." Well, I wasn't happy to hear this news, but I wasn't devestated either (as I know some of our Ses do need to do this). She said nothing happened (sexually), but she needed the closure, as it was like a breakup...and that their talk lasted about 15 minutes.
