I got was e-mail from a friend about my wife’s facebook account I didn’t know about. It turns out she has been living a double life. She has been living with a guy for 3 months and dating since around June. I called and asked he about this and she replied, “ well I do have a boyfriend. I was going to tell you a lot of times it just never seemed right. You know I get intimidated by stressful situations. I t all just kind of happened.” Well I replied I was not mad just disappointed. I told her when she found feelings for another a she should has divorced me. She then told me she was not sure what to do the whole time. So I replied the easy way must have been to get a boyfriend to weigh me next to? I then calmed down and told her I will always love her but I will file. She said she was very sorry things turned out this way, so I responded I was sorry she didn’t respect herself or me enough to just divorce me and not live this double life were the bulk of her new friends don’t even know she is married.
I am calling a lawyer tomorrow. I whish it didn’t turn out this way but despite my best efforts, and the much appreciated help of you all on DB it did. Good luck to all of you and I will leave with this advice.
Kill with kindness up to a point but DON’T be afraid to draw a line in the sand when you feel like you are being taking advantage of. I didn’t for fear of rocking the boat. I am now here.
I'm sorry Marcum, I know it hurts (same thing happened to me). They are too cowards to admit what their doing, and 5mths from now she'll still wont know what she is doing because she's only living for the moment.
You are a great guy and I wish you the best, you don't need to leave the board just yet, the D road is more bearable with support of others who've btdt. Whatever you decide, take care and know that you have gone beyond the call of duty fighting for your M, one day you'll look back and will know you did your best and wont' be sorry, something she wont' be able to say, what goes around comes around. Take care Marcum
Hi
I am sorry you had to find out like this. I am now filing(again!) and it is still hard even though I knew all along that it was what he wanted. It is sad more then anything but even though I haven't posted much on this board I have found it very helpful and met some really great people. Take care.
I guess I will stop by and take cats advise and at least let everyone know the prosess. I called my lawyer and will meet him wen morning.
Mate .. dont disapear on us . not good what has happened , but the path is the same , look after yourself , take your time . there is no rush to divorce.
dave
No rush? she has been cheating on me for 23 months! she walkd out on me a year ago! how can trust be regained back from that? how can i respect her after she made these choises? she told me she was hurt so I worked on chasnging. I told her I was hurt and she dosen't even bat a eye. A M is a JOINT affair in both building and RE-BUILDING. she has not givien me a chanch in this and I dont see why dragging my feet will help. IF and ONLY IF she does some kind of work here can out M be rebuilt and as of 12 months NOZTHING has been done. she would need to dump her boyfriend and start a path to rebuildig, or else its just a case of wishfull thinking on my part. and the longer I wait the more bills she keeps attracting makeing it harder and harder on me. I am in a NO WIN sich here folks and I DONT know how to NOT get a D right now. I love my W, but I DONT know what to do anymore. I have tried the kindness and passive way of doing things...and here I am
Thinking of you. I'm right there too.
thank you lady, your in my prayers
there are some who can wait for months on end for their Ss to "wake up", there are folks on the infidelity forum with Ss who are in active affairs, who wait on the A to end. Then there are tons of others who draw the line and cannot just sit there while their Ss decide the ride isnt' fun anymore.
We each have a limit, you have reached yours and not easily Marcum.
I was willing to wait on my then H to turn around even as he lived with me like a roomate, but once I found out he kept seeing ow I drew a line and asked him to leave until he got his act together and broke it off with her, I refused to live with a man who didnt' have the spine to choose his family and let go of ow. A year later and he still is the train wreck he was when we were together, nothing has changed, and I'm glad I told him to leave then, I gave him many chances to no avail.
I agree with you Marcum, you have DBed your heart off but at this point she is in la-la land and the end of her crazy ride is not in sight, she lied and dragged it out so you could pay her bills, that isnt' right, you deserve much better.
You gave it your all and I dont' blame you for seeking a D from her.
we had the meating on friday. it was hell. sitting next to her felt so right. we talked a little before the lawyer got us and I can see now she that her view is i was a verbal abuser just after we wer married. she said i always raised my voice and she wont pick up with that. this is not a new quote of hers but i can see now that she truly feels this way. and non of my efforts of kindness or quiet calm action would change her mind. at the end I walked her to her car and told her we have a 120 days to stop this if SHE wants to. I cried and told her I was truly sorry and I whish she would see me as I am , and not as I was. She said she has a lot to think about and have me a hug and left. I was crying like a baby and I loved that hug more then anything else in the world...but i am 99 % sure it meant nothing from her then a consolation. I am fine away but to see here means pain. that is the hard part.
keep your guard up ok? I know this is hard, even harder to see her so close, but'll get through with this. Why were both of you at the L's? each of you needs your own L, even if you are doing mediation. I read somewhere to remember that the L is not a therapist, so dont' bring up old R/M stuff there, sadly you are seeing a L for something totally different.
Hey hey hey!
Long time no write Marcum. You and I hit the scene at the same time. And you and I are both headed for D. Wooooo! I have followed you off and on all year. I think that I can finally see clearly into both of our sitches.
D!
We must take care of the D and get it done right. You need your own L. L will show you how it should all work out so you don't have to worry. D will be the best thing for our Rs. I am sure of it.
One direct comment. If you can, you must stop the crying. If you can, you must stop the hugging. She gets it. You love her. The best thing you can do from here on out is to efficiently handle the D. Make it fair, protect your interests, keep her informed. Lovingly. Be tough for now. She knows you are hurting. Imagine that she is some new person that you are trying to impress. Be efficient. Do it right. Be strong. I feel like I can say this because I have spent a year crying in my car, hoping she would drive by and see me. Pathetic. Not attractive. Not gonna make some new person want to hang out with me. And the other dude? Easy. You have the entire D procedure to show her how much better you are.
And this is how I am going to do it: Envision the life I am going to put together after the D is over. I make it look good. I accept it as the one I am heading toward. It will make all the difference. To you and your wayward W. Hey, that's "as if!"
Let's do it together! C'mon. Post D life. The better it looks in your head the easier it will be to get there. And best of all, W can't mess it up. She can only make it better.
Try to look at six months from now. Not now.
(I'm no expert. My methods are not yet proven, but it is starting to make sense.)
Thanks for always posting... L
Envision the life I am going to put together after the D is over. I make it look good. I accept it as the one I am heading toward. It will make all the difference. To you and your wayward W. Hey, that's "as if!"
That's half the battle right there, even if you dont' believe it yourself, envision it, burn it in your brain, imagen a whole new outlook for your life... eventually your heart will catch up with that vision and you'll move forward.
I know msL, it takes months for our brain to "buy it", lol
But it is possible.
Marcum...thinking about and praying for you.
hello marcum. I'm a newcommer! but I was reading ur post on2/4/08. and I just wanted to ask ur advise. My husband and I are in a very rough patch for like the 3rd year out of our 4 1/2 year marriage. I was reading where u said your wife seen you as a verbal abuser. While I feel the same way about the H. I have begged, cried and demanded he stop for the sake of the marriage and the kids. Our kids r 1.5 & 2.75 years old and our 2 yearold is starting to repeat what she hears. How do I get him to stop. I have treating divorce I have asked him to move out and everytime I feel like I'm standing up for myself and the kids I feel like its the wrong thing for the kids and I love him so much so I always ask him back I dont want a divorce but whats better my kids living in a seperated home or having their father even if acting the way he does? How do I get it to stop? please any help is much needed. thank you.
my son's counselor told me that in her years of study/experience she has learned that neither social status nor being married/separated affected the kids as much as how much arguing there was in the housel. She saw a well adjusted son of a single mother who lived a peaceful live vs a very conflicted kid from a couple that argued constantly.
My soon to be ex had an abusive father, it was a sham M, they were only together for appearance's sake and "for the kids", the man is so seriusly messed up and one day even reproaced his mother about the abuse he received from his father because she didnt have the guts to stand up to him and leave him.
He wont' stop until he admits he has a problem. You need to go see a counselor even if he doesnt' want to come, go alone, ideally he'd come with you but if he doesn't you need to talk to a professional to help you see your options.
I can see were my wife hated the fact I raised my voice. I never swore or called her names, but there was yelling. Me goimg to counceling was a huge step in a more self awarness. but he has to want to join or all hes doing is seeing you makeing him out to be a bad guy.
well she now refuses to answer my phone calls about doing our taxes. i belive she thinks if sher ignores the problem long enough, it will simply go away.
She's still so immature.... no self growth even after a year. What a shame.... I always said I was better to be on my side of the fence than my H's because it forced me to make a me. Just like it bettered you.
thanks sandy.
and thats the heart of it all i guess. when this all started i was a yelling mess who needed to change for myself and my W. well after 13 months she has moved into the abuseive section of our marrage ( passive agressive but still abusive) while i have changed. the thing to remember is this is not my W at all. i am hopeing she comes out of it and desided to work on us but we have a littel over 100 days left to our marrage. so i guess it will take a huge internel for her to do this. As i said the new her views me as a anxiety, not a benifit. we have never got back to square one. we were closer there when she before she moved out,but now the stress of a M is more then trumped by the new friends new man, new life.
my new theme song i dont know but it keeps me focused. the line " i can give but i wont buy my way home" is kind of close to the mark lyric
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OpkymfmYFck
well 10 days and still no friggin responce about the taxes. I guess i will file married but sepperated. God its just so damn frustrating to see how she just does not want to deal with anything that might be responcible when theres so much more " fun" things to do .
was just going to suggest that, not worth all that grief, it makes total sense you file M but S, so whatever you get back is yours to keep.
just watched the breakup on tv. Wow thats a reallife look isent it. the female carector finalyt and honestly tells ther male she dosent feel appreciated. the male says hes truly sorry and will do what ever it takes to be better. the female has nothing left to give. I guess i was a nieve guy. i thought Love was a stronger feeling and could be awakend if needed as long as the right moves were made. i thought love lasted forever. i thought wrong.
we had finaly met for coffee and taxes. Folkes we talked for 2 houres, it was soooo nice. she even called me honey 3 times! but in the end she walked away. i can see her feelings are not there buy her eyes. she gave me a hug and was gone. big strong marcum didnt cry there. he has not stopped crying since.
after a good cry tell yourself aloud "...but I will be ok" Do it, every single time, every single time.
i dont6 see much hope anymore i guess. if i giver her space she is with the OM. if i try contact she feels pressured. i try to make the best of out time together that is the hardest part. when we get together I feel happy. we talk and there feels no wall,,,untill she feels inclined to bring it up. its always the same trap, but i wont fall for it. i just keep stepping through the mine feild waiting to get to the other side. Those honeys she gave me last week were so nice, but i almost whish she wouldn't they speak of sa hope thst isent there.
It's natural for you to take those "honey"s and hold onto them. She IS your wife and naturally you're looking for a connection, for a glimmer. Honestly, "honey" has slipped out of my mouth when I knew h didn't want it, but NOT 3 TIMES in one conversation.
Last week h left a message on my phone for me to have the kids call him, but he was on his way to a call, so he may not be able to talk to them. At the end of his message...he said "bye". I SAVED that message on my phone because of that "bye". Lately, he says what he needs to and hangs up the phone when he's done. Even if he's talking to me and not my voice mail. So I really liked the "bye". I thought "See.There's his soft side."
It's just where we are in things Marcum. You and me both, we're still hoping beyong hope that something is still in them. And I truly believe it is. For both of us. It's just a matter of whether or not they are willing to look at it and acknowlege it. It's painful, and truthfully they may avoid it for as long as time. It's nothing we can do or say or convince them of. We are only in control of ourselves.
Take care.
thanks lady B. I sometimes still get wrapped up in the what more can I do phase. my tunnels are only left to LRT and done. This is bad because all of our mutual friends agree she just does not want to deal with ANYTHING from the last 9 years. so i detach and shes more then happy because it lets her continue on with this new life shes dreaming. If i contact im a uncomfortable remoinder of as life she does not want to take any responcibility for. do im i the damed if i do and damed if i dont part of the sich.
i took another DBer's advice and gave a lot of space there for awile. thats when thre new man came in. she has the glimmers you talk about, but i cant hang my hat on them.
Marcum, you did the best you could, we can't make anyone do anything, she had in her hands the power to save her M but she is in la-la land and refuses to do what's right. You have waited for a long time and she refuses to get her head out of the hole she's dug.
We can can't get hung up about every little thing they say, we must be very careful about what we believe when a WAS talks.
marc, I still think you have too much contact with your wife.
Even if it's about trivial business, taxes, etc. Stop all of it.
You have nothing to lose at this point so why not try it.
From her point of view, she can have you at any time she wants you and she knows it. The term is "conquered", and nobody wants something they can have easily like that. You wear your heart on your sleeve all the time, she knows you love her, she has seen you cry for her recently, etc. You present no real challenge to her, there is nothing attractive in what you are doing.
You should have tried the LRT a long time ago. Detach, go dark, no communications: no email, no texts, no phone calls, etc. Make yourself unavailable, get a life, do something other than think about her.
What advantage do you present to her right now at this moment over the OM? You don't appear strong to me, you still talk about the relationship with her (ie. we still have time left to turn this around before the divorce goes through).
I know this is hard, it's the hardest thing you will ever go through, I'm sure of it but this isn't the time to crumble and be weak - it's the time to stand tall and be strong, act as if you are even if you aren't.
And stop taking 100% responsibility for the failure of this relationship!!! Relationships are a dual responsibility, you were half of the relationship, she wasn't perfect, stop believing that and start standing up for yourself. If you really believe raising your voice is a reason for someone to cheat on their spouse, you are mistaken - there is never a reason to cheat on your spouse, put that in your head and remember it. Resentment breeds entitlement, she wasn't happy with something so to teach you a lesson, she goes and does something she knew/knows is going to hurt you alot: cheating on you.
Take the image of your wife down from the pedestal, back down to earth on the level ground you are standing on and see her eye to eye. She isn't worse than you, she isn't better than you, she doesn't deserve for you to kiss the ground that she walks on - start valuing & respecting yourself more than you currently do - people will only love & respect someone who loves & respects themselves. You don't sound like your self-esteem is anywhere near where it needs to be right now. Start working on this for your benefit and start doing it today - in the end the person you have to take care of most is yourself.
Marcum,
Don't shoot yourself in the foot about detaching and her finding another man. She would have done it anyway whether you were there or not. In fact, if you were still around, she would have found a way to blame you for it. It happens to all of us.
Detach and let it run it's course. It's a rebound relationship, so it isn't going to last. She was being disrespectful to you by not telling you she was dating. "She didn't tell you because she didn't want to hurt your feelings" Oh please! What planet are our WAWs living on? It was to let her feel better with a clear conscience ... period.
thanks for the input guys. its nice to have that 3rd person view. your right about the OM, I can see that now. her not " feeling Married" crap was a way to validate her cheeting on her husband. I dont have anything to loose anymore. I have tried the persuit and it diudnt work. I have stepped through every friggin hoope like C and self awarness classes and anger manegment, but it didnt mean anythiong to her. My friends, and heck a lot of her friend who i still see, tell me they see a new me. she just dosen't want to .....or may never want to. SO, I have nothing left to do now but to BUILD a NEW me. if she tries to come along GREAT if not.... i will miss her always but cant let my life end. she had a husband, who when confronted about being better said OK. Thats not easy to find. was i neglectfull, yes i took her wonder for granted sometimes. did I yell, yes sometimes I did. Did i refuse to admit all this and not work on myself NO!!! i RAN to where ever she pointed because i WANTED to be a better husband. mean while she's now 29 with a new nose-ring and wants to get angel wings on her back to show what she has " rizen above" in life. jees if i wasn't heartbroke i would almost laugh. Its been a one sided battel and I cant win that.
guess it's like a boat with only one paddle, can't go forward if the other person doens't give it his/her all. I did it all, counseling, inv and separately, no amount of C could talk any sense into stbx as he clang to then ow (who later got sick of him and kicked him out). There was nothing I left undone to save my M, but he just refused to do any work and only thought of himself and of inmediate gratification.
You will win this battle by becoming a better person, for you, not for her , for YOU.
well we met to take care of the taxes today. She was very nice and told me I looked handsome. of course I was dressed up, as I never let her see me sloby anymore. the W decided to drop a bomb on me in the way of telling me she wants to quit her job now and do missionary work down south. she says her work ( she's a occupational therapist) tells her she's not a team player so she's fed up. never mind the fact she does call in sick all the time. Hell she told me last week she broke out in stress hives. So she's going to maybe try the missionary work to " find herself" as she " feel something missing" I just wanted to take her hand and say " W, maybe your subconscious is telling you something" but instead I told her to do what she thinks is best. Any person with half a brain can see she's not doing alright even though she has this so called " perfect life" God I wish she would just thing "HMMM I wonder why I leave Marcum and now I get hives, hate my job, don't seem fulfilled anymore, and can't seem to be happy" she left and told me to call her sometime. I told her to call me as I don't know when she's free. its final in 2 months and she's falling apart a little and she STILL does not want to try with me. she will tell her friends she's scared of me, but the first thing she does today is give me a hug when she walked through the door. still detaching....but really worried she just takes me away as more time to keep running. " out of sight, out of mind"
i should clarify its not mossionary work but volintear, like habitat for humnanity
Hi Marcum, I understand & have been there too. It's very difficult to see someone you care about spinning out of control & there is nothing you can do. It is always easier to blame someone else isn't it?? Try to keep a PMA. And of course focus on you & your kids.
W called today. she lost her job on Friday for calling in sick to much. She called in 7 times since Jan. she thinks it was all their fault. So now for the big drop. She is moving to Beaumont TX for 13 weeks now to to volunteer work. I don't know if this is through a church, organization, or a frigging Craig's list scam. She told me she was scared and excited. I told her I wish her the best. Then she goes on to say don't worry I can fly back to finalize the D. I still love the woman very much. My feel like IO should invite her to dinner before she leaves the state. If this is volunteer work she may loose the money to pay for her phone, of heck just decide to stay down there forever. Now that she's jobless around here theres no reason for there to come balk to this area even if she does come back to Wisconsin. I worry about her safety, and to be honest on a selfish note I worry about never seeing her again.
hon, this is a grown woman, she is a big girl who has made her decision, let her go.
easyer said then done. if you had a family member going down to tx now, with the flooding and the swine flu. you would be worried. my W is family to me. I know she does not want to be and thats fine. but I will always consider her a a part of me. heck even if my 3rd " your a dead beat bum" cousin was on the way down there now i would be worried. belive me the pain of the loss of her is less. but the wanting her to be safe isent.
I wouldn't be saying that if I hadn't let go of someone dear to my heart. Things can happen anywhere, no one has their life 100% guaranteed, you can pray for her to be safe but then you have to leave it in God's hands.
im sorry cat. Your right. this is just one more thing i have to except i guess.
disassembeled but detaching
Marcum
I agree with cat03. Although, I would be worried as well. It's hard just to shut your emotions off completely. Take Care of yourself & stay strong!!!
The STBX called me today and asked if I wanted to get ice-cream before she moves out of state for 13 weeks. For once I didn’t say yes at the drop of the hat. I told her my days off are Tuesday through Thursday of next week. She told me she had softball on Tuesday and volleyball on Wednesday and didn’t want to miss them as this would be her last time seeing her team. I kind of chuckled at that. She kept saying she had nothing to to tomorrow, but I have court ( Im a cop) at noon and then I work 3-11. I am working a 12 hour 11-11 today. I told her I would sleep in until I had to get up for court.
She had drawn me as a guy who took her for granted for the last year and a half. It kind of kills me being coy, as Im afraid she will just take it as a sigh I’m “ not any different” I know she’s leaving no matter what for at least 13 weeks. I know we will be divorced no matter what I do now. I know shes missing me a little to ask me out for ice cream. I know I will have a hard time never loving her….or even trusting her again. I know I’m stronger then when we were married, and I know I owe her thanks for that.
I whish she was different to my thoughts. I have tried so damn hard to detach..do DB. I failed on a lot of accounts. BUT I never stopped being kind or sweet or just plain better. I never stopped showing her silently I was LISTENING. I just whished she did. I whish she truly looked at me I whish she saw the man who asked her out over a decade ago. I whish I was the person everyone else compliments in her eyes
But I’m not. That has to be ok. I have to learn to enjoy the others in my life. I thought this would get easier but its not. I will go to ice cream and sit across from her and look her in the eye. I will NOT cry or say I love you. I will be charming. I will be better. And at the end of that day I will get the hug she gives me, and lock it away. And then I guess its all done.
i deleted her phone number today. it was the hardest thing i have ever done. as I was getting ready for work, the movie bicentenial man with robin williams came on. I thought it would be a cool sci-fi flick. but instead it tells a story about love. nice. the tears come less every day...but they still come.
it's a long road to recovery, but do knwo that you are heading to a new life, you will do good))))) I try to find funny movies now, dramas are no good. Prayers your way Marcum.
Hi Marcum..
I was born in Beaumont, TX.. and googled it. Though it was whacked pretty hard by hurricanes, there's no reports of swine flu cases.
Your spouse is making choices, trying different things all of which are out of your control. Losing her job is a consequence of her actions. It's odd.. I found, that in my case, pining away for my spouse during the divorce proceedings was a form of pursuing. Worrying, projecting concerns does nothing positive for you.
You can do whatever you want, be in whatever state that is right for you. You're not alone, you're a caring guy, you have lots of great qualities. Sometimes I think the best way to get a spouse back is if you're the one who leaves. If they want the relationship they move heaven and earth.. if not.. well, that says something.
As much as you're hurting.. it's not all about her.. it's about you, the choices you make, what you're willing to accept, what your boundaries are to stay healthy in your mind, body and spirit. Try forming a very simple statement of how you feel, where you're at... and compare it to where you want to be.
You're worth it.
*hugs*
Hi,
Just wanted to say hi. We started this journey together and we are still suffering. Lame, eh? I just read this latest thread. I'm no better off. I killed with kindness but it only kills me. Hang in there. My favorite advice at this point is something like, "To live well is the best revenge." Everyone wins that way. Just keep swimming. Get the D.
Thanks for posting. L
she makes it easier every time we talk now. she has been in Texas for 2 and a half weeks now...and she has this horrible fake southern accent. I wish I could play this voice message for you guys. Its ridiculous. This is so minor in the grand sceam of things, but it just hit me how different she is now. How fake and chameleon like she is. I think I may have posted this before, but I realize that if I was the problem she painted me to be, she would have been so much better without me. But shes not. She is nothing like the woman I knew for ten years. Her family was the most important thing about her, and now she lives as far away as possible. My W was a forgiving and loving woman, now she cant let any fault go in anyone, and she is super sarcastic with her friends. She called me today just to make sure my lawyer got the agreement that she signed about not wanting any more money from me. Thats great but its not either.
I feel guilty about getting the lawyer some days still. Yes she had a boyfriend ( for 6 months) but I was the “ pro marriage guy.” When I got the lawyer I feel she was able to do what I feared most, and that was take no responsibility for the divorce. My lawyer told her point blank she was not represented by him, but she didn't care. She stated she would just agree to everything because she wanted out so bad. So in the end I paid for the lawyer and now I am “in charge” of a divorce I don't want. But I was explained it didn't matter because as long as my W signed the papers, I could not stop it.
So
here I am
All I have left is a LRT.
I will not call her back right away on anything. I will live well. I miss her, but only as she was.
He Marcum, Well, we all know the WAS does a good job at the blame game. Some eventually see the light that it's a 50/50 game. Isn't it strange how they do change though. Like they are trying to find themselves, but can't stop long enough to do that.
I was kinda in your shoes, but we didn't use a lawyer. I didn't want the D but finally I just took control of getting it done. Have to say that, in the end, I'm happy I did. I think you just know when the struggle is over & there's no point in holding on to a dead M.
Good luck!
well well
I just got forwarded pics from a mutual friend form my ex W facebook. It turns out she moved to texas with her new man. To tell ya all the truth I dont know why she lied about it. If sher moved on then great she moved on, but dont be a false with yourself about it. look in the mirror and say " hey I wasent happy and moved on."
ah well tears and full steam ahead with the D. I still belive in marrage. I just dont belive in her.
Wow!! Sorry to hear that. The lying is the worst, isn't it? She's probably racked by guilt & fear. Stay strong!
sorry for your pain Marcum, I also was married to the liar of the century, its pure cowardice. You will be ok)))))))))))
Sorry it turned out this way, Marcum....
Ohhh. Sorry you got that bit of news. So, is she NOT doing volunteer work there? Was everything a lie?
I know exactly how you feel about the changes in your wife. My h changed so much that I don't know him know, and I don't like him. I love him as he was when we met, before the last 3yrs. It's so hard.
You're such a good-hearted guy. Your wife is blind and she doesn't want to know for who you are.
hey MsL, hope you are doing well, havent seen you here for a while.
Hello MM I am so glad your doing well. LB you arre always in my prayers. Cat you input is always welcome. You guys are better friends to me then my ex wife has beenb for the last year and a half. your always there and give me feed back, and when i need a kick in the pants your never hatefull...or you never lie to me. I love you all very much. its just so damn hard so near the end.
it is also the beginning of a good life you can have...in time of course as we all need our good 2yrs at least to heal for the most part. Take care)))
well its been a month and a half and no contact with my waw. I have really put a lot of effort into work and my strongman comps. I still think of her ever day for some reason, but the raw emotion is finally starting to fade. it still seems like a dream some days, how my best friend is out of my life forever. But I MUST become my own best friend so survive I guess. strong man and police work aside I also am trying to rebuild a social life as well.
.
tomorrow is the final court date. we meet at 11 am so a judge can bang the gavel and end 10 years of life. I dont know what more i could have done to save this M. I tried everything in the books and every time she just shut a door in my face. shes moved on and is happy. I am glad for that actually because I do love her.
Brian and Heather, gone but not forgotten
Go to
www.rejoiceministries.orgJust a suggestion. Worth taking a look at before you finally say goodbye forever.
Kevin
Sorry to hear about your court date tomorrow. One never really knows how life will turn out. Stay strong & good luck!
I went into the court room today. The lawyer talked about our net worth ans asked if the forums in front of me were true and i said yes. My W appeared from TX by phone. they asked her the same questions and she said yes. they then asked if the marriage was irrevocably broken. I could not answer, but she said yes
I have been home now crying ever since. I would live to use the words in the link above and fight for my marriage, But she has a live in boyfriend a country away and I cant fight alone. I dont now what more to do.
i know that this is a day that feels like the floor dropped out from under you entirely.
hang in there bud. this day tanked but He is a God of renewal. Things aren't the smoothest for me right now but the issues I have to sludge through pale in comparison to your own.
The horse will wait for you to dust yourself off (however much time you want to take to do that). You will surely ride again.
Stay safe. Use prayer if you are even remotely of the mindset. You know you are safe as are your loved ones. Give thanks.
Peace bro'. You're in my thoughts and prayers.
T
my prayers your way Marcum, you fought with your all and you should be PROUD of yourself for standing up to your M as a man should, for fighting to keep the M and doing what was right, I think you are amazing and that you will have a great life once you start healing, your new life will begin and it will be a good one)))))))))))