Thank you job. for linking my threads.
I must go to bed , but I wanted to share that me and L have been chatting all night and have a date this weekend!
I haven't smiled this or have been this excited in a long time. It's nice to know I'm alive.
If there was ever a time for a "woot" emoticon, this is it! Good on ya!
Ginger,
Total awesomeness!
Awesome news! Hope you have a wonderful time.
Thanks!
here is my longer more in depth post. I went to see my therapist yesterday and we discussed my worries of dating a younger man. Who is actually 9 years younger than me. (just call me cougar). My worry really lies with yet again falling for someone who I can't be with for reasons other than having no feelings for them. It was very painful with ex-NG, to love someone and have to let them go because of distance (I know that wasn't all it was, but kind of what it boiled down to). I'm terrified of that.
She did say something very interesting. And so did my friend. My views on having more kids....... it's not like I physically can't or I am too old.... it's a choice for me. There is this possibility if I love someone that much, I would want to have a child with them. not to make them happy, but because I would want that with a loving partner. Still don't know about that, but it is not an IMPOSSIBILITY. She said these aren't red flags. What I have experienced in the past are red flags that I should run from (fear of commitment, no effort, pulling away).
So we chatted for quite a while last night. He really is just an amazingly sweet guy. he's gotten hurt before (he didn't give any details) and he went into his honest loyal traits. I believe it.
One instructor at our gym is a salsa dancer and she posted pics from this place she goes in NYC. I said it looks like fun and I would love to try it. She said she has been trying to get instructor and brother to go. So, L said he would absolutely go, only if he could be my partner:)
I gave him a nudge after the convo got a little more intimate (not dirty intimate) I told him I wouldn't be seeing him at class tomorrow night because I have to get D ready for her daddy daughter dance, but after that, she would be with him for the weekend and if he asked me out for a drink, I would probably say yes. he got so adorably excited and said absolutely and officially asked. We don't have a day and time set yet. But this morning he sent me a message saying good morning and asking how I was.
So, this is new to me. He is sweet, attentive, and thoughtful so far. Not my norm. ex-NG was like that until he started playing his pulling back game when he fell in love in with me. I am so over those games.
One more interesting thing my therapist and I recognized last night. I sit here wondering why I am single and guys (well, decent guys) don't have interest in me. It turns out they do. Really, when I am in a situation with single available men, they DO show interest. Problem has been I am rarely ever in those situations.
So there is hope for me. I'm not all that bad.
I am nervous. I never get nervous for OLD because I don't even know the person and I am so whatever about it. This one freaks me out a little more given our mutual acquaintences and me liking him already. Hopefully all will go well.
Previous Thread:
........
Good for you, my friend! Looks like the worm is definitely turning for the better.
Ginger,
I am happy for you. Sometimes when we are too close to a situation, we can't see things clearly. I do agree that men are interested in you and you probably didn't even realize it. Now that the peepers are open a bit more, I think you'll begin to notice the signs more and more.
I can't wait to hear how the father/daughter dance went for your little lady.
Enjoy your weekend.
Age is just a number! My last gf was 12 years younger than me and it made no difference at all. It's that you can relate to each other that matters...and that you remember to change his diapers lol.
Job, you are absolutely right. I can see everything so clearly in others situations while I am blind to my own. it's an interesting phenomenon. I think that's why I keep going to my IC. She really helps me see things more clearly.
WII,
I am usually the 12 years YOUNGER one. So this is a huge swing. He's definitely mature for his age. And he wipes his own butt!
Great news and hope all goes well this weekend!
I am nervous. I never get nervous for OLD because I don't even know the person and I am so whatever about it. This one freaks me out a little more given our mutual acquaintances and me liking him already. Hopefully all will go well.
Ginger,
If the guy said that he'd only go do the dancing thing if you're his partner, then that means he likes you too. He probably likes you lots and lots. Just remember the rule, no skinny dipping on the first date. The other rule is, sometimes it's ok to break the rules.
Skinny dipping? Man its too cold for that. Just don't get caught as that may/may not have happened before.
Wait a minute - did someone say dancing? A certain miss Harley Quinn taught me swing dancing...some of the most fun I've had. Give it a try with your young man, Ginger, and report back to us!
I am nervous. I never get nervous for OLD because I don't even know the person and I am so whatever about it. This one freaks me out a little more given our mutual acquaintances and me liking him already. Hopefully all will go well.
Ginger,
If the guy said that he'd only go do the dancing thing if you're his partner, then that means he likes you too. He probably likes you lots and lots. Just remember the rule, no skinny dipping on the first date. The other rule is, sometimes it's ok to break the rules.
Good thing it is 20 degrees over here and all the bodies of water are frozen. It'll keep my clothes on.
yup, I think he REALLY is interested. I'm sort of still in shock about it too. I really never suspected it.
Well, we will be going out for a drink tonight. I hope that goes well, because I really want to go salsa dancing with him!
Thank you Gordie!
Ugh, thank god tonight I am busy before we go out, I'll stay preoccupied.
Well, we will be going out for a drink tonight. I hope that goes well, because I really want to go salsa dancing with him!
Ginger,
You're going to have a blast! And, you can bet that he's just as nervous and giddy with excitement as you are. H3ll, I'm excited and giddy for you!
Make that two of us! I need another night like that!
I just now see a new thread was started - and look what I've been missing! I'm sooooo happy for you G! Sounds like you took my suggestion. To let him know you'd say yes - and sure enough, armed with that confidence he asked. Can't wait to hear how it goes!
Have a nice time tonight! Let us know how it, and the father-daughter dance went!
thank you everyone. Your well wishes seem to have worked.
Date started at 9pm and ended at 9am. Awake the whole time and talking almost the whole time. 2nd date was shortly after I went to a cycling class on 0 hours of sleep (and came in 21st out of 48)at 2pm and went until 8pm (only because I was going out with the girls. There would have been #3 today, but he has to work.
Yeah, pretty intense, I know. But wow. age really just is a number. He's mature, hard working, huge family guy, very down to earth.... sweet, attentive, observant, and a gentleman. Woah!
Don't worry, I am just enjoying this, not moving anything fast. But the other girls did figure it out. He doesn't care anyone knows. They are probably going to tease the crap out of us all class tomorrow night, so we decided to go along with the game. I did find out another instructor likes him and knows he likes me, and she also takes our class sometimes. So weirdness is probably going to happen. I do not want any gym drama. The benefit to OLD is no one knows your business, this is a close knit group and some can be kind of petty. So I just hope it doesn't get weird.
He is a firefighter in the roughest area there is here in my area. When he works it's 24 hours straight. So the guys shop, cook, ect. he was sent out for all the stuff to cook and he gave me a call and we were on the phone for over an hour.
It feels good. I am trying to just enjoy my good feeling. What a differene between him and the plumber. Not only in the person they are, but in how I feel towards him. The feelings are very different.
A year ago I was away on vacation with ex-NG and our kids. That was the last time I saw him in which we were together. After the vacation, we had our rocky time trying to figure out where to go next. And that was the end of us. It's true. My feelings have eased towards it much more being interested in someone else. I thought with the guys who have come in my life since ex-NG, that maybe I wasn't capable of feelings for anyone else. I think I am!
I'll always have a special place in my heart for ex-NG. But I think I got the shove to move on, even if this doesn't work out.
Hmmmm...... I didn't expect this at all, me and this guy. We could nickname him FF. I wasn't looking for it. Maybe there is something to be said for that.
Rosalinda, even thought they were over an hour late to the dance, they had a good time. When I was on the date he sent a vide of them dancing and singing "Living on a prayer". It made me smile. It was nice to see them have fun together like that. They rarely do anything special just the two of them, and I think they both loved it.
This sounds great ginger! He is a lucky guy
Congrats on the new connection! Remember to take it easy and protect your heart (I've never been able to figure out how to do that myself lol).
Woot!
Date started at 9pm and ended at 9am. Awake the whole time and talking almost the whole time
That is an awesome, awesome feeling, eh? Nothing like staying up all night talking. Seems like this is a very good start! Good on ya!
Good for you, lady! You are an inspiration to me, with your younger guys. I'm hoping to follow your lead. So glad you enjoyed and wish you nothing but the best moving forward.
Thank you all!
I am still in a bit of shock. Like I said, it was the last thing I expected.
he texts often and we speak on the phone for like an hour at a time. He's a good morning, goodnight, how's your day type of guy. Which is important to me. We just click.
I am having a little bit of insecurity, however. I kind of can't understand why he chose me, when other, much more single younger women are interested in him> I know of at least two women who like him at the gym, and he knows the same. But he continues to chose me, the older single mother.
he knows our time together is when D9 is at her dad's. Which happens to coincide with his work schedule until Sunday. He wishes we could spend some time together sooner, as do I, but he is understanding.
he wants ot take me out after the gym for V-Day, but I have D9. I know it's a dumb commercial holiday, but I haven't done anything for that holiday since I was married. ANd our last V day together was awful, and I knew something fishy was going on.
The thought was very sweet though.
What can I say? I'm in like!
He likes you because your awesome and beautiful and it's really hard to find someone that you can connect with. I bet you are light years away in terms of depth and soulfullness then many of the women he has experience with.
Who cares why he chose you...he did! It means you're pretty special
Nobody else here is surprised! Don't go lighting fires where they don't exist (do you like the "fire" reference lol?)
Ginger if this man didn't like you he wouldn't ask you out. You are an awesome person and that is why he wants to be with you.
I enjoy your time with him and keep expectations to a zero level. You deserve to be happy.
I told u it would happen when u least expected it. That's how it usually goes. Happy Valentine's Day to everyone.
Ginger,
Congrats on FF! My ears are burning; I want to know all about the Valentine's date. Let us know how it goes.
I want you to know, I planted a hedge of double knock out roses (red, not pink) in your honor. Well, I did plan on it a while ago, but I think I'll name the hedge Ginger in your honor. From now on, you'll be known as the Eponymous Ginger.
Again, it's wonderful news. I love a good romance.
I agree w/what everyone has posted. I'm so happy that you and the "FF" had a great time and are going to get together again. When you least expect it, someone will walk into your life.
Happy Valentine's Day everyone!
You all have been such good support to me this past year when I've been down in the dumps over a lost relationship. You guys held out hope for me and always gave me such kind words (JuJu, what you said was so kind). Happy Valentines Day to you all. Life is easier when you have a good group in your corner.
This morning he sent me a text that was just beyond sweet. He asked me to be his Valentine and told me how much he has loved getting to know me and how I am make him so happy and that he looks forward to getting to know me even more. he told me I was a great person, and he can't put into words how happy I make him feel. It was super sweet. I haven't had an acknowledgment of Valentines day in 9 years. Or heard someone not afraid of the feelings they have.
He's not just a taker and is truly a giver. Would go out of the way for me, easily. he already tried to switch a shift just to spend time with me. As you may remember, I always do those things, but no one has ever bothered to go out of their way for me.
Expectations are low. I am allowing myself to cautiously eat up all the wonderfulness that is ensuing right now.
This Sunday he is planning a special date for us. He even plans and makes decisions!
Can't wipe the goofy smile off my face.
That has made my morning!
WARNING: LONG POST AHEAD
I've got a dilemma which I think I worked out, but let me start by my wonderful V-day. He came over last night after D9 was in bed. He brought be 2 dozen roses, a bear that sings and a bottle of wine. I near cried, as I have not had the holiday acknowledged since Ex-H. It's not a huge deal to me, but I've either been alone, or been with someone who refuses to even acknowledge the holiday. So it was just the sweetest surprise. Yeah, commercial holiday, but it does feel good. He actually told me he got a card and he said his handwriting was so awful, he threw it out. he wasn't going to tell me but he did.
We stood in my kitchen for like 2 hours talking and sharing the wine. We could both talk forever. He's open and honest with his feelings and he told me how excited he gets to see me, how he just likes to make me happy. He told me about how he appreciates my independence but likes the way I look to him to be the man in certain situations to take the lead. Seriously, that is exactly what I look for. He understands it. The plumber was so off from that. He thought me washing the dishes while he smacks my butt was being a man. Everything about me and FF clicks so far. It's scary. I have had a perma smile that won't come off my face. He is probably the first guy who isn't giving me the BS of " I wasn't looking for a relationship, I don't know what I want" He is actually not scared of a relationship and it is what he hopes to progress to in his life.
Now onto the tough part. D9 figured it out. She knows I am dating him. Very difficult to hide, especially from super sleuth. I can get into the details of how she seriously backed me into a corner into admitting it, but it's long. It's a tricky situation that we all go to the gym together and talk and hang around and that she already sees him most days for a while now. I was not worried that she was going to be upset. I was worried she was going to be happy. And she is. But I had to explain to her that we just started dating and until I spend time with him alone and get to know him better, that all of us won't be doing things together. I told her when and if the time is right, I will let her know. She did understand. I did panic that I am the worst mom, called my friend this morning and she assured me I am not. There is no rule book, things happen, and the important thing is that I handle it right from here. Everyone who knows me a from here for a long time knows that she's met one guy and that is it. She happened to meet this one as a friend first.
There is my long-winded update. It's been a whirlwind, and quite an unexpected amazing one. I am staying grounded while still enjoying. I am not happy with myself that D9 found out, but I can only best from here on out.
And I will end with something funny. She said "Mom, isn't he in his 20's?" I said yes. She said "you are too old for him". Not, "he is too young for you"
Ginger,
As the famous doodler will say, I'm giddy for you! It's so nice to be someone's priority. Seems like you have a good one on your hands. If only we all were as lucky!
And I will end with something funny. She said "Mom, isn't he in his 20's?" I said yes. She said "you are too old for him". Not, "he is too young for you"
This is were we need better emoticons... I'm dying laughing at this one!
Good on ya!
Ok, i hate to be a stick-in-the-mud as the love train leaves the station but this is a forum for us to say what we think...toss it in the trash if you like. I am so happy that you have found someone who seems to mesh so well with you...honest, I am! But when I read how quickly and all encompassing he seems to be...I feel overwhelmed and don't even know him! That said, my shrink once said that getting really involved quickly does not seem to be an issue when two people are on the same wave length but it's when one is jumping in with both feet and the other is still sticking his/her toe in the water that it becomes a problem. So, I'm on your side and pulling for you G, but also feel a bit taken aback by his speed and excessive enthusiasm...maybe that's just me. Btw, I hope you take this opportunity to discuss ageism with your daughter...it's connection, not age that matters
Keep us updated.
Ginger,
The dilemma regarding your daughter isn't much of a dilemma; just wait until you have to tell her she's going to have a sibling.
but also feel a bit taken aback by his speed and excessive enthusiasm
He does seem to be moving quite fast, but then again it may be her excitement in telling it. I'm sure Ginger has a good read. I'm excited for her!
Ok, i hate to be a stick-in-the-mud as the love train leaves the station but this is a forum for us to say what we think...toss it in the trash if you like. I am so happy that you have found someone who seems to mesh so well with you...honest, I am! But when I read how quickly and all encompassing he seems to be...I feel overwhelmed and don't even know him! That said, my shrink once said that getting really involved quickly does not seem to be an issue when two people are on the same wave length but it's when one is jumping in with both feet and the other is still sticking his/her toe in the water that it becomes a problem. So, I'm on your side and pulling for you G, but also feel a bit taken aback by his speed and excessive enthusiasm...maybe that's just me. Btw, I hope you take this opportunity to discuss ageism with your daughter...it's connection, not age that matters
Keep us updated.
I understand where you are coming from. I do not feel like he is excessive at all. I think he is just that kind of guy. Remember, he is single and not tied down, so he can spend some more time with me. He works every 4th day. Excessive enthusiasm would normally scare me away, but its not, so I don't think it's excessive. We were just talking open and honestly and it was refreshing to have a conversation where someone isn't trying to toally deny their feelings.
And don't you worry, We had a very good convo about ageism. I said it's about how you treat and respect eachother and age doesn't decide that.
Ginger,
The dilemma regarding your daughter isn't much of a dilemma; just wait until you have to tell her she's going to have a sibling.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Ginger,
Sorry, I couldn't resist. I love being a dad, and if I were younger and remarried, I'd certainly leap at the opportunity to have another child.
Ginger,
Sorry, I couldn't resist. I love being a dad, and if I were younger and remarried, I'd certainly leap at the opportunity to have another child.
I discussed this in length with my best friend. I have always wanted another child.
My big resistance is from the trauma of my ex leaving me when our daughter was an infant. I fear that horribly. Something I am trying to work through to see how I feel after I do work through that.
Something I am trying to work through to see how I feel after I do work through that
Mouthful, for sure.
This fear you mentioned - could it raise its head in your relationship in another form?
G, you certainly have a better feel for what's going on than I do. I was remembering back a few years when I first started dating SDA Lady, it was obvious there was a strong connection but when Valentine's Day came up, after about our third week of dating, I was unsure of what to do. After three dates she wasn't really my "girlfriend" but I wanted to show recognition for our feelings...whew. I ended up taking her to a play (I already had tickets), out for dinner and gave her a nice basket of fruit flavoured truffles (she loved fruit)...no wine, neither of us drank lol. So...maybe he's not so overboard
When you get that feeling it's so nice. Enjoy! Btw, with Voldy on the first Valentine's Day after we got married (in December) i bought her cookbooks. No wonder she eventually ditched me...what a ditz lol
Well he might be younger than you but he is
still biologically old enough to be your
daughters father.
Whats the big deal?
I say go for it.
Happy for you!
Ginger,
I have a very good friend who is 18 1/2 years older than her husband. They've been married for a long time and they are still going strong and devoted to one another. Age is just a number. There is nothing wrong in dating someone younger. Enjoy the attention and companionship. Don't sweat the small stuff!
Well he might be younger than you but he is
still biologically old enough to be your
daughters father.
Whats the big deal?
I say go for it.
Happy for you!
Very good point! And I can't be his father, so it's all good! And thank you JOb. I'm realizing so much how age is just a number.
I could go on today about the things we discussed but I did find out he has dated an older woman with kids. There was one other in the past, and it was a pretty serious relationship. he said he was hesitant to tell me because he was afraid I was going to think it was his MO. Actually, it comforted me, because it is not the first time dealing with a single mom and he knows what he is getting into. We spoke a lot about our feelings and he even said I don't want you to think I'm crazy, I don't want you t o get worried by my excitement, but I just have this comfortable ease and it fels like I 've known you much longer. It's new to him. We spoke about it for a long time. We are very much on the same wavelength with it.
We did speak about the future of kids.That other woman couldn't have anymore. He said it wasn't why they broke up and not the dealbreaker. I did explain it wasn't particularly in my plans to have anymore. I said I can't say for sure that I am not going to have anymore, and I can't say for sure that I am. I told him I am working on trying to figure out if it is my trauma that makes me feel this way, or I am just done with having kids. he was very understanding.
I've doing a lot of hard thinking about the warnings of his enthusiasm and the such. I've spent my life with lack of enthusiasm from me, including my own ex husband. They just kind of liked me there. It was about their agenda. They could take or leave me. Ex-NG I believe was enthusiastic, but in the end, that was just words, and I learned that. This one would certainly go out of the way for me, no doubt. I can't sit here and say everything is a red flag. because right now my gut isn't getting bad feelings at all. I think I deserve to enjoy someone who is really into me and shows it for once. I am really into him too. And not just because he is in to me. We can just talk and talk for hours, we have fun together, we certainly can laugh together, we like a similar level of affection, we are both willing to try different things and have a good time. It's just a good connection. So I'm gonna enjoy it!
Ha, I mean I can't be his MOTHER! I certainly can't be his father!
It's just a good connection. So I'm gonna enjoy it!
That's all that matters, Ginger. You know the situation better than anyone else. The important thing is that you are happy and that's all that matters. Good on ya!
You go girl! Remember, we're all on the outside looking in. If you're comfortable and enjoying someone who is doing all the right things then go with it
Ha, I mean I can't be his MOTHER! I certainly can't be his father!
I agree you don't want to be his mother.
What is his relationship with his mother like?
Ha, I mean I can't be his MOTHER! I certainly can't be his father!
I agree you don't want to be his mother.
What is his relationship with his mother like?
He has a great relationship with his parents and his sister. His parents have been married a long time. he thinks his mom is the best and an amazing woman and you can tell he looks up to his dad and they are friends. He's the best uncle to his little nephew and he is watching him today.
So I haven't gotten any red flags so far. We have been spending a lot of time together. Is it moving too fast? I dunno. We want to spend time together, we can, so we do. I did let him bring D9 and I dinner on Saturday. Yes, D9 likes him a lot. Introductions were skipped as she knew him already. There won't be family stuff or hanging out together often yet. He's coming over to clean my dryer vent Thursday night so I am making dinner. I think those things are ok, but I will discuss with my IC too. If she tells me to urgently end any time they spend together, I will listen.
We had a great date Sunday. Even though we spend some time together where he just comes over for an hour or two, he does date me. Takes me out. We went to a boat show and then out to dinner. To a very nice restaurant.
We speak eachother's love languages which is nice. He totally understands that even though I am fully capable of doing everything myself, that he won't let me. He'll do what he can to help, he will make feel special as a woman, and I make him feel like a man.
It's just working nicely. Eyes wide open, still enjoying myself.
It's just working nicely. Eyes wide open, still enjoying myself
As the great doodler would say, I'm giddy! It is so good to hear things like this. Good on ya!
He's coming over to clean my dryer vent Thursday night so I am making dinner.
Ginger,
He's coming over to clean the dryer vent? Things are moving fast! The next step is to introduce him to your parents.
I'm going to start a Ginger's engagement pool. I'm betting you'll get a ring in November; that's roughly 10 months.
I say February. Valentine's Day.
He was even going to take out my garbage for me because my driveway is the length of a street. It was late when we got back, so I wouldn't let him.
Honestly, if things actually continued this way, I don't think you guys are far off the mark. he would ask me.
Wowzers. I've got money on V-day.
Wowzers. I've got money on V-day.
Jeep,
No way on V-day. Thanksgiving is the perfect time to meet the rest of the family members that haven't already been met. After that, there's no way he'll wait until V-day; he'll want to have Christmas with his fiance.
Ginger,
Do you have a gender preference? Do you want a boy or a girl?
I'm pee-in-my-pants excited for you! (Giddy is too understated.)
Thanksgiving is the perfect time to meet the rest of the family members
Doodler,
I see what you are saying. But this cat is of the romantic sort and V-day is as romantic as it gets.
Guys!!! You have me married and popping out kids already.
And my preference is a boy. HA!
It is strange dating someone who actually wants to be in a relationship or get married. I only date guys who are divorced and done with getting married and are in "selfish" mode. This is a new one.
So excited for you, Ginger! Sounds like you have found a really good guy and we all know he's got quite the catch in you. I can't stop smiling for you. I'm with Doodler...giddy is an understatement....this is just downright exhilarating!
Guys!!! You have me married and popping out kids already.
^This contradicts this:
And my preference is a boy. HA!
J/K! I'm happy for you!
Thanks! I feel kind of giddy too. I haven't felt this way in forever!
I am having a crappy day, but he definitely helps me through it. Last night I dealt with some strange jealousy and backhanded apologies from people I though were my friends at the gym. I wish they could be as happy for me as you guys are. Both FF and I are happy. I won't get into the details, but this so called friend did have a crush (she has a crush on every single guy who walks through the door) and she was feeling bitter about it. She wanted to apologize for it. But in the apology she says "it was my fault, you made the first move" No, I didn't make an intentional move and WTF? She made it sound like he chose me only because I made the first move else he would have chose her. Um, no he, wouldn't have. She said some strange things as in her handing off her muffin recipe for me to make since he would rather have me make them (she messaged him offering to make him all these muffins) then she actually messaged him today saying "I am giving Ginger my muffin recipe" what is that? Her giving permission?! We are women in our 30's here. Let it go.
We just finally didn't really give a crap at the gym yesterday and sat next to eachother, smiled at eachother, and talked about plans around the others.
Then today for our work review we have a certain amount of charts reviewed for a part of our performance review. Out o f thousands she picks a sample of 7??? Well, poor sample to chose, I didn't do that hot on accuracy. She was really nice about it, but I don't know if this affects my raise. She knows I can do better than this and I am very smart and a good nurse. The problem is I am bored to tears by this job that I am on autopilot making mistakes. I am a good nurse. A good bill reviewer? I don't know about that, hahaha. It's easy, I just can't focus anymore. So I better shape up.
Then there is school and this class is for my nursing Capstone project which is a big deal requirement for graduating the program. it's a lot of work.
Ugh. I'm burnt. FF and I acre actually planning a mini getaway. Ex agreed to switch weekends and watch D9 and was so incredibly nice about it. he did say "wow, very busy and lots of plans lately" I said, "yes indeed"
Hi Ginger,
I have been quietly following along. In regards to the peeps at the gym, meh. People think what they think-doesn't make them right. So I wouldn't engage those "friends".
Congrats on the FF. Sounds like you are having a great time. Enjoy every minute:)
Ugh. I'm burnt. FF and I acre actually planning a mini getaway. Ex agreed to switch weekends and watch D9 and was so incredibly nice about it. he did say "wow, very busy and lots of plans lately" I said, "yes indeed"
Ginger,
Sorry about your crappy day, but I'm getting tons of vicarious pleasure from the direction your life is taking. It sounds like your Ex is being pleasant and the FF thing is going great. I'd ask you if I could go along on the mini getaway, but I'm assuming you'll tell me I can't go and I don't want to suffer through the rejection so I won't ask. Anyway, I'm glad the important stuff is going well; everything else is just noise.
Doodler, you are right, things are taking a great direction. You have brought me back to reality. I have only things to look forward to and enjoy in the moment now. Maybe next time, Doodler, but this is our getaway. No Doodlers allowed this time.
Thank you Georgiabelle. I'm really enjoying the good things right now. This so called "friend" has kind of reached creepy level. We can see her trying to sabotage us somehow. So FF and I agreed that we will not let her play any dirty tricks on us to come between us. I think she is still trying to get me to back off so she could move in. But he doesn't want her, so that won't work.
It's sad when people can't be happy for other people. But we do have a great group of supporters.
It's sad when people can't be happy for other people. But we do have a great group of supporters.
^This
Don't leave us in suspense...what kind of muffins are they?
Don't leave us in suspense...what kind of muffins are they?
It is really funny, and creepy and we all keep making jokes. Banana choco chip.
So, first she tells me she is passing on the muffin recipe to me. Then she messages his to make him aware I am now going to be the gatekeeper of the muffin recipe. Then last night at the gym before I leave, she tells me she will send it to me. Then I get home and she texts me that she emailed the recipe. he was over and I almost texted back "thanks, FF is here now and we are going to make hot muffins together"
The thought of muffin makes me want throw up now.
Make Brownies and really mess with her head! Seriously though, people are just weird. The male/female thing just brings out the crazy in some people. Feel sorry for her and let it go...she's obviously lonely.
Make Brownies and really mess with her head!
I think whatisis is spot-on. You could butcher the muffin recipe (maybe add a dash or two or ten of Tabasco sauce) and take a few muffins to your friend. When you give her the muffins you say, "I was completely distracted <wink-wink> while making the muffins and I think I might've messed-up recipe."
Doodler, that's some messed up stuff right there. I like it.
How would she feel about meeting a plumber...I'll bet he'd like her muffins. Hmmmm.
Plumber? Ginger has a thing for plumbers? Is it the always visible butt-cracks?
The Plumber is old news...but maybe her friend would like an introduction
The Plumber is old news...but maybe her friend would like an introduction
You are a genius! I am going to give her his number. She would be all over that!
I'll spare you all details of FF and I. But things are just so good and that scares me and I am waiting for the other shoe to drop. How can things be so good so fast? We will see if they have staying power. He is just amazing. And the way he validates, I would swear he reads these boards.
Things are moving fast. Yes. When I say moving fast, we aren't married yet. but we spend all the time we can together and just want more, not less.
This is all new to me. We talked about it this morning. I've missed guys I dated but because we couldn't only see eachother every two weeks. We see eachother in one form or another every day, and we still can't wait to see eachother again.
I think we are both trying to tamp down our eagerness, but it isn't working too well.
IC tomorrow. She needs to help me through this and keep my feet on the ground!
That is so good to hear, Ginger! I'm more than happy for you. Everyone needs someone to get excited about.
Do we all get invitations to the wedding?
G you don't need to tamp down on anything. Just go with it. And Plezzz stop the negative thinking. Remember the self fulfilling prophecy? I get the fear of being hurt again. I really do. But being with someone you like and care for is worth the risk. Now I wanna see pics lol
Good for you, lady! Don't worry about harshing the enthusiasm....just go with it. I agree with what Rick said. No one wants to get hurt; its a fear we all have, but don't worry about that. Go with the flow of the good things coming your way. I'm just absolutely thrilled for you. Have fun!
G you don't need to tamp down on anything. Just go with it. And Plezzz stop the negative thinking. Remember the self fulfilling prophecy? I get the fear of being hurt again. I really do. But being with someone you like and care for is worth the risk. Now I wanna see pics lol
Rick, look him up under my FB. He has a Spanish last name and a cigar in his mouth. I know I am afraid to think to positively. Or like I am not being smart by enjoying this.
But you are both right! I need to go with the enthusiasm. I don't want to not enjoy something great due to fear.
He really is worth the risk.
And wedding invitations for all!! HAHAHAHA!
Honestly, if this continues down the path it is going, I could see him popping the question by the end of the year.
I try not to think about that though.
Hey, throw in the french kissing ex priest too...just as a back up!
Rick, maybe I'll invite him to the annual BBQ this year. He eats Morcilla.
This is awesome! I am so happy for you. And just really glad to be reading about something positive happening to some one so deserving.
I can't wait for that to happen to me and for all of us on here, so I too am reading on vicariously
Ugh. Muffin girl sounds like a lunatic. She's looking for attention. Just don't let her get to you. Sounds like ff saw threw her from the beginning though.
OMG morcilla? Bring him over I'll even make all sorts of sweet breads, you know the ones Linda likes lmao hahah. I do need a neW grill. Just not sure if gas or charcoal? My life is sooo complicated and complex now a days..He is always welcome
So, I saw my IC this weekend and told her all about FF. She knew we were talking before the last time I saw her, but we hadn't gone out on our first date yet. When I told her everything, she actually was moved to tears. My therapist cried tears of joy for me! She told me when I just began talking about this one she had a good feeling about him. We spoke of D9 being involved and she feels there is absolutely no harm, especially since she knew him before hand. Dinners once a week or an activity on the weekend is absolutely fine and I will not be doing damage to her. That was the biggest concern of mine hands down. I felt a lot of relief knowing that I am not doing the wrong thing by her.
This weekend was fantastic. I won't give the whole run down but I did meet his best friend who thinks we are great together and he told his friend we just seem to "work". We did lots of fun stuff on Saturday. He slept over and Sunday I wen to the spa, and while I was gone he went shopping and got stuff to make for dinner. He cooked in my kitchen a delicious meal (he says he never cooks for anyone) while I was doing schoolwork. He cleaned everything up. He helped me with my schoolwork.
He is just amazing. I don't know how I got so lucky.
I thought I would never find this. I did. There is hope for everyone last one of us.
Ginger,
I am so happy for you. Your post brings hope to all of us. Godspeed, my friend.
She told me when I just began talking about this one she had a good feeling about him.
Ginger,
It's a wonderful thing! I think we all got the idea that this one seems to be spot-on. Congratulations! (And yes, I'm giddy.)
He came over last night for dinner and D9 had tons of math homework she was struggling with. He is awesome at math and he just sat down with her and did it while I made dinner.
Pinch me, I think I am dreaming.
Ginger,
If I pinch you, will you slap me? Please, please, please!
Hi guys,
I have been busier than busy with the most awful class I have taken yet which is a full-time job within itself. On top of that I had a bad case of strep last week that knocked me out for a day or two.
Just wanted to put some thoughts out there. Things are going great between me and FF. We spend a lot of time together. I haven't spent this much time with a guy since I was married. And that was a loooooooong time ago. I actually love it. D9 enjoys it too when we are all around. Doing my best to be careful in that area. When I was sick, he was off and he came and brought me soup. He continues to be attentive and caring, funny, thoughtful, all of the above. We help and support eachother in the things we want to achieve, even if its me getting my school work done, or him with stuff with his business or going to the gym and maintaining a healthy diet.
Wednesday I meet his parents in a very unconventional scenario. We are all taking his sister's cycling class. I am beyond nervous. I've never been nervous like this to meet the parents, although his parents are the only one besides the ex I have ever met. When I am nervous, I make an arse out of myself. Please pray I don't.
I am thoroughly enjoying my time with him. Like I love it and I can't get enough of it. And that scares me. I am scared that if this ends it's going to be a big blow. I am doing my best to maintain a mindset of enjoyment with caution.
A year ago today exNG and I ended. I had a feeling of anger come up because I am reminded that he had someone else waiting or was already seeing someone else when it ended. They are still together, great for them, but I feel the anger that there was someone in the wings, I didn't know it, and he lied about it.
So I continue to enjoy FF and I am incredibly excited for our vacation together in less than two weeks.
Alls I have to do is continue to try to survive this class.
Ginger,
This is moving along nicely..doodler and I get wedding invites, no?
Don't worry ginger,
His parents are going to love you! You are definatly the girl, families want for their sons.
I really feel that the ending of your relationship with NG was a gift. You dodged a bullet early on. He lied and had some one waiting in the wings. That just shows his real character. Imagine finding that out 5 years from now?
Thanks JuJu. I only ended up meeting his dad and he was really nice. It wasn't like a big meet the parents because it was so busy and stuff. But really nice guy. And I had my best ride!
I agree, the end of my R with NG was a gift. I definitely dodged a bullet. I am loving right now being with a guy who is not afraid of what he wants and does not leave me guessing about his feelings all the time. I remember how hard it was on me, all the flip flopping, pulling back, it hurt a lot. I wish him the best, but it just wasn't meant to be between me and him.
So, my ex called when FF was over last night. Apprently he got hurt on the line of duty on Monday. A prisoner went nuts and hit him in the back of the head. He's been out ever since. He's fine, maybe he had a mild concussion, and he goes back to work tomorrow. D9 put him on FT when I was done talking to him and I think he knew FF was over. So he starts picking on me through FT. Making fun of exercise and my healthy diet. I had to bite my tongue and tell him he's just jealous because his wife is large and unhealthy (and yes, she is unhealthy), but I just played a long. How sad when the only thing you have to make fun of is someone healthy lifestyle? D9 even said when her dad got off the phone "sorry daddy was being so rude". Once a douche, always a douche.
FF and I have some nice alone time the next few days then we are off to vacation in one week! Yesssss!
FF and I have some nice alone time the next few days then we are off to vacation in one week! Yesssss!
Ginger,
If you need a third wheel, you know where to find me.
Yes I think you dodged a whole automatic machine gun load of bullets.
V
Sounds like things are really good in your world. So very happy for you!
Ginger, wow, I've missed a lot of your story lately. But very happy for you and FF, you deserve so much. If your vacay involves the land of alligators, you know where to find me.
Ginger,
I am happy for you and little girl. You've got a very nice man in your life and I hope he's there for the long haul. You deserve to have a Prince Charming come in and sweep you off your feet and treat you right.
It's time to start a new thread. Please be sure to link up your old/new threads.