The Winner Takes it All - DivorceBusting.com

Sorry Job, I finally noticed your note that my thread was WAY over due, sorry!

I was trying to think what to call this, and remembered how I used to name my threads after whichever song fit my brokenhearted, angry, hopeful, resigned or grateful state of mind at the time. After considering just plain "Happy" (but was never sure what he meant by clapping along if you feel like a room without a roof LOL) and also "If you want to be happy" by Jimmy Soul (If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife) I decided to pick this ABBA song, "The winner takes it all."

I remember torturing myself moping around the house listening to ABBA and crying about my ex and his OW. But have come to realize that WE are the winners. We honored our vows, stood strong with dignity and did everything we could to save our marriages. We came out the other side much better men and women, stronger. We faced the crappy stuff about ourselves and are trying our best to do better and be better. Maybe not totally whole yet, but healing. And very very important for those of us with kids - we showed our children what it means to honor and fight for your marriage.

I don't know how I could have ever thought that any OP could be the winner. A relationship based on lies and cheating is not worth having. We are moving on, leaving them to their broken relationships based on smoke and mirrors.

So this is dedicated to all of us, but especially you, Grl On Fire AKA JksD. I know you are hurting honey, but you are and will always be the winner, standing strong and taking it all. TPT may have your ex, but she is actually the loser, standing small. Stand tall Jks.

I don't want to talk
About the things we've gone through
Though it's hurting me
Now it's history
I've played all my cards
And that's what you've done too
Nothing more to say
No more ace to play

The winner takes it all
The loser standing small
Beside the victory
That's her destiny

Old Thread: Divorced and so grateful

RosaLinda,

You have said it all perfectly. The winner absolutely takes it all.

We all come here and to other forums crying the blues about our spouses leaving and then discovering they are w/new partners. But, it takes time to realize that a house built on sand (lies and cheating), can't weather the storms of time. Eventually cracks will appear and the structure begins to crumble. They may attempt to patch the cracks, but let's face it, the trust in each other is not there....how can it be? Especially when they both know that they cheated on their former partners/spouses.

So, let's all raise our glasses and cheer each other on. Yes, ABBA's song lyrics say it all...the winner takes it all and we are the winners...some of us just don't know it yet...but time will reveal all to those who sit quietly and wait for the answers to be revealed.

Love, love, love it!

You nailed it, we can all stand tall. I'd rather be able to do that than get what I want by hurting others.

Now in addition, "We are the champions" is replaying in my head....

OMG what a brilliant post. I love and needed it. Thank you RosaLinda x

aw thanks. I was in a sort of sappy philosophical mood

I was so excited, my sister sent our sister-in-law and I tickets to fly in for a quick visit to her summer home on Tybee Island, GA, to celebrate our birthdays (which are one day and MANY years apart, Libras rock) this coming weekend. They are holding a pirate parade and I've been practicing my argggs and rum consumption skills.

But it looks like Hurricane Matthew might join the party. I guess I'll know if it is going to hit or not before my flight on Thursday, but the thought is really scaring me.

I live on the coast of Long Island, but on the north shore, 60 miles above sea level, so we don't get storm surges here. But we do see wind and rain damage. I remember Hurricane Gloria back in 1985, just after S31 was born. It was just a category 2 when it hit, but the devastation was awful. And Sandy was just category 1, but destroyed so many homes and businesses here. I'm sort of nervous about being on a 1 x 3.5 mile barrier island with a category 4 barreling up the coast. Ugh.

RL,

You may want to check out the weather forecast. Looks like it's going to hit close to there around Thursday and we, in Maryland, will be getting rain (again) Saturday and Sunday from dear ole Matthew.

I do hope that you get to go and enjoy yourself...but be prepared for the uninvited guest of Matthew.

Oh, I know how much you love it down there, what an exciting surprise! I'm going to try to do the anti-hurricane dance so you can go and have a blast!

I just had to listen to the song on youtube. And some of the (rather inappropriate) comments did provide a giggle.

Thanks, RL, for being a rock for me.

Rosa, you freakin rock. Love you, my friend. So happy that you are getting to go to Georgia. I am joining my girl Ginger in the anti hurricane dance.

Ugh ugh ugh. I have not been on here in weeks, but figured since I was here for Jack3Beans' tribute, I'd check in on my thread and check up on some friends. And noticed Jksd's note about giggling over the inappropriate comments on "The Winner Takes It All" on youtube. So naturally I had to go read them too.

I was SO friggin upset to learn that song was written by the lead singer Agnetha's ex husband, and that it was released AFTER they broke up. How heart breaking. He sounds like a typical MLC a$$hole, writing how the winner (his new GF) takes it all. I hope to God that Agnetha took the song to mean what we do, that we, the DBers formerly known as LBS, � la Prince, are the winners, and the OP and the cheater are the losers. That woman sure could have used some DBing. I hope she's well and happy without the cad grrrr.

Well my Georgia birthday weekend was called on account of rain. And wind. And tidal surges. My baby sister turns 60 next June, and says she'd like us to use the tickets then, as a birthday bash for herself LOL. I'm not sure my fella will want to go, as he is NOT fond of heat and humidity. Sort of puts a nix on moving down there, sigh LOL

What's up with you all? I have good news - I have been working three night shifts in the ER every 2-week pay period since graduating from lawschool in 2005, and just changed this week to semi-days, 10am to 10pm, instead of 8pm to 8am. Except that yesterday was my first shift, and I did not get out of there until 1230am LOL. But getting home at 1 am was better than getting home at 9 am! I'm grateful!

The trees are really getting gorgeous here now. Job, I was so surprised that yours trees were starting to turn when we drove down to North Carolina a month ago. I love this time of year. We're going to a winery with Ginger in 2 weeks, the place is fabulous and also has an apple orchard. They charge you an arm and leg to do all the picking work yourself, but the apples are fresh and delicious!

I'd love to have you all over for a cup of coffee and some homemade apple pie and ice cream! Wouldn't that be fun!!

RL,
I'm sorry your Georgia birthday was called because of the rain, but there is always another birthday that will roll around. As for the heat and humidity, I don't find it to be much different than what we have in my area. Georgia is a beautiful state w/lots of history and visiting there never gets old.

You must have been traveling through the northern part of MD. Our trees in the southern area are just now starting to change. We lost quite a few do to very dry weather this year. The sugar maples are just now turning the beautiful gold/red colors for the fall. The other trees are still green and will be that way a while longer unless we get a hard frost.

Enjoy your time at the winery...but most of all...enjoy spending time w/Ginger. Life is far too short not to stop and smell the roses along the way.

I'm also sorry your GA birthday was cancelled. Mother nature can be a biotch. I say your fella should take you on a weekend getaway to somewhere warm, but not humid. Tell him I said so:)

I am soooooo happy your sort of day shift finally came through! You have most certainly earned it and paid your dues. Always with nurses, shift ends at one time, you get out like 2 hours later. Stupid charting.

I CANNOT wait to see you. I am looking forward to that weekend like it's a holiday.

Sorry about the cancellation of your Georgia birthday.

The inappropriate comments I was giggling over was about Agnetha's (she's the blonde?) way of walking in the MV.

I do agree that we can still stand tall, even if the background of the song is a bummer.

Quote:

I say your fella should take you on a weekend getaway to somewhere warm, but not humid. Tell him I said so:)

Linda - tell him I said soo too!

It's 80 here right now and no humidity... and we're supposed to stay this way through Halloween. Even then, our indefinite forecast is in the 70s! What leaves are still on trees are gorgeous and just had to throw it out there for consideration!

BTW, my D22 went to an apple orchard with her BF a few weeks ago and had a lovely time. They have a winery at the orchard, and she had a double good time!

Have a good weekend-
Betsey

Originally Posted By: RosaLinda

Ugh ugh ugh. I have not been on here in weeks, but figured since I was here for Jack3Beans' tribute, I'd check in on my thread and check up on some friends. And noticed Jksd's note about giggling over the inappropriate comments on "The Winner Takes It All" on youtube. So naturally I had to go read them too.

I was SO friggin upset to learn that song was written by the lead singer Agnetha's ex husband, and that it was released AFTER they broke up. How heart breaking. He sounds like a typical MLC a$$hole, writing how the winner (his new GF) takes it all. I hope to God that Agnetha took the song to mean what we do, that we, the DBers formerly known as LBS, � la Prince, are the winners, and the OP and the cheater are the losers. That woman sure could have used some DBing. I hope she's well and happy without the cad grrrr.

Well my Georgia birthday weekend was called on account of rain. And wind. And tidal surges. My baby sister turns 60 next June, and says she'd like us to use the tickets then, as a birthday bash for herself LOL. I'm not sure my fella will want to go, as he is NOT fond of heat and humidity. Sort of puts a nix on moving down there, sigh LOL

What's up with you all? I have good news - I have been working three night shifts in the ER every 2-week pay period since graduating from lawschool in 2005, and just changed this week to semi-days, 10am to 10pm, instead of 8pm to 8am. Except that yesterday was my first shift, and I did not get out of there until 1230am LOL. But getting home at 1 am was better than getting home at 9 am! I'm grateful!

The trees are really getting gorgeous here now. Job, I was so surprised that yours trees were starting to turn when we drove down to North Carolina a month ago. I love this time of year. We're going to a winery with Ginger in 2 weeks, the place is fabulous and also has an apple orchard. They charge you an arm and leg to do all the picking work yourself, but the apples are fresh and delicious!

I'd love to have you all over for a cup of coffee and some homemade apple pie and ice cream! Wouldn't that be fun!!

Haven't read the rest of this thread yet but this made me laugh. This song was one of my karaoke for 1 songs that I used to sing when the sh was hitting the fan. I always loved being overly sappy to the point that I make myself laugh and this song was the perfect song to make that happen. I would change the words around occasionally but getting sucked into this ridiculousness helped me to not get caught up in the sorrow of what was happening. When leaders and song writers of a singing group punish their exes by making them sing the lyrics they wrote about the break up I find it hilariously narcissistic.

"I Saw Her Again Last Night" by the mama's and the papas is another one.

The part of the song that annoys me the most that I would always change the words to is
I apologize if it makes you feel bad
seeing me so tense
with no self confidence

The way she sings it annoys me. She should have made it sarcastic.

Originally Posted By: mustardseed

The way she sings it annoys me. She should have made it sarcastic.

Yeah, I agree, but also remember feeling so broken like that. I always wished I could be snarky and sarcastic to my now ex, but was so afraid I would ruin our chances of reconciling. It sounds SO stupid now, but URWorthy's words of wisdom (He Does Not Want To Be Married To You Anymore) took a LONG time to finally sink into my head LOL

So are you up for Vanilla's NY City bash MustardSeed? I'm hoping to get in on Sunday for lunch, and maybe drag along our friend Ginger and the most adorable little girl in the world (please don't tell my granddaughter I said that but it's true). I was doubly hoping Vanilla planned to come out to your house, as it's way closer to me than the city.

Originally Posted By: UnderDog

It's 80 here right now and no humidity... and we're supposed to stay this way through Halloween. Even then our indefinite forecast is in the 70s! What leaves are still on trees are gorgeous and just had to throw it out there for consideration!

Nice to hear from you Betsey! I miss our volleyball extravaganzas

I asked someone who used to live in Colorado about your weather, and was assured that it is the most fabulous place in the world to live 300 days out of the year, but for the other 2 months - look out LOL Well we'll be out your way for his college reunion this time next year, and I am looking forward to seeing you and V (both Vs if possible!). How is your tooth feeling?

Originally Posted By: ericmsant2

Originally Posted By: Ginger

I say your fella should take you on a weekend getaway to somewhere warm, but not humid. Tell him I said so

Linda - tell him I said soo too!

Please tell him a couple of times yourselves this weekend

Thank you LOL