Back to Report - 07/06/15 07:37 AM
Hi. I don't know who is still around that would remember me, but here I am, whole, happy, and divorce final at the end of July. I am relieved. My ex ran rings around me, for several years he kept me on a puppet string. I was still in love with him, and wanted to "win" him back. Fool that I was. I never knew how he felt, what was happening, and he would give just enough to keep me around.
I found the scissors to cut the strings and escaped. I got a lawyer last year, and the rest is history, of course, with twists and turns. He would not respond to legal letters, he would be out of the country for months at a time. Then, his father passed away, and he went to see him before he died, and stayed to organize the funeral, etc. So, he only got back at the end of February 2015. A lawyer's letter was sent which he ignored. Finally, it got to the point that we had to appear in front of the judge. I was surprised that he actually turned up. He asked my lawyer if we could take a moment, and figure a few things out. I agreed. By the time we got to the judge, my lawyer could outline our agreement. I'm now been signed and registered in the courts. I will be getting a good alimony, etc. I won some, and lost some, but ultimately, I will be okay.
So, a lesson for me, and a report to you. I am no longer in love with my STBX, and cannot imagine being with him. It was a long, bumpy road. Now he looks different, acts different, smells different, even our children have noticed it. He is a completely different man to the one I married 29 years ago. He has a GF who he has introduced to my children and grandchildren, much to their dismay. My son asked him not to come with the GF on Father's Day, so he didn't spend a lot of time with them, but they're adults now, and have no expectations from him, even though they do still love him. I live in the marital home with my daughter/SIL and three grandchildren. I am not interested in meeting this woman, one of many in a long line of mistresses, I have no doubt. I feel a little sorry for her. But, not my business. I am sure he is still the passive-aggressive, secretive a$$hole that I used to know and love.
I look forward to my future. I am strong, and brave despite all the negative things that have happened to me, including my brain cancer which has receded, but I still have to have yearly MRI's. But so much positive things have happened too. I have met new friends, and I live in a beautiful part of the world. Life is good, and I am thrilled with how things have turned out. I graduated last year with a BA in Creative Writing, and I have a good relationship with each of my children. I get lonely for a companion sometimes, but doubtless, one will come along in the future. I am leaving my heart open for it, but not particularly looking.
I have learned a lot about myself, have grown through the pain of my separation/divorce. I have unpacked my baggage, and my load is lighter. I am ready for the next chapter in my life. Next, lose 50lbs, finish writing my book, and be the best grandma ever.
So, I didn't bust my divorce, but I still feel like I won.
I found the scissors to cut the strings and escaped. I got a lawyer last year, and the rest is history, of course, with twists and turns. He would not respond to legal letters, he would be out of the country for months at a time. Then, his father passed away, and he went to see him before he died, and stayed to organize the funeral, etc. So, he only got back at the end of February 2015. A lawyer's letter was sent which he ignored. Finally, it got to the point that we had to appear in front of the judge. I was surprised that he actually turned up. He asked my lawyer if we could take a moment, and figure a few things out. I agreed. By the time we got to the judge, my lawyer could outline our agreement. I'm now been signed and registered in the courts. I will be getting a good alimony, etc. I won some, and lost some, but ultimately, I will be okay.
So, a lesson for me, and a report to you. I am no longer in love with my STBX, and cannot imagine being with him. It was a long, bumpy road. Now he looks different, acts different, smells different, even our children have noticed it. He is a completely different man to the one I married 29 years ago. He has a GF who he has introduced to my children and grandchildren, much to their dismay. My son asked him not to come with the GF on Father's Day, so he didn't spend a lot of time with them, but they're adults now, and have no expectations from him, even though they do still love him. I live in the marital home with my daughter/SIL and three grandchildren. I am not interested in meeting this woman, one of many in a long line of mistresses, I have no doubt. I feel a little sorry for her. But, not my business. I am sure he is still the passive-aggressive, secretive a$$hole that I used to know and love.
I look forward to my future. I am strong, and brave despite all the negative things that have happened to me, including my brain cancer which has receded, but I still have to have yearly MRI's. But so much positive things have happened too. I have met new friends, and I live in a beautiful part of the world. Life is good, and I am thrilled with how things have turned out. I graduated last year with a BA in Creative Writing, and I have a good relationship with each of my children. I get lonely for a companion sometimes, but doubtless, one will come along in the future. I am leaving my heart open for it, but not particularly looking.
I have learned a lot about myself, have grown through the pain of my separation/divorce. I have unpacked my baggage, and my load is lighter. I am ready for the next chapter in my life. Next, lose 50lbs, finish writing my book, and be the best grandma ever.
So, I didn't bust my divorce, but I still feel like I won.