Here's a Story... Of a Lovely Lady...

Since the lock monster will be coming soon to BA's thread, in light of his update, thought I'd create the new thread. Notice I titled it appropriately, BA?

I thought the same thing lol. Loved that show

Love the title Bets! Much better than "Yours, Mine and Ours" because there definitely isn't going to be any "Ours"! That train has left the station.

BA

In the not too long ago past, Valentine's Day was one of those days that I soooo didn't look forward too. With the trauma of dealing with a failed marriage due to a WAS, the last thing I wanted to be reminded of was a bunch of people celebrating love with cards, gifts, dinners, etc.

A few years later and I feel very fortunate that I'm no longer in that place. My "Lovely Lady" (keeping with the theme here Bets) is taking yours truly out to dinner on Saturday, and not to some two bit restaurant either. She's treating me to dinner and wine at the Chart House for Valentine's Day. Yep, she's a keeper!

I of course have flowers already ordered for delivery tomorrow and a card and small gift for her as well.

BA

BA,

The Chart House...what a fine choice!

I've eaten there a few times and enjoyed the food immensely.

Thanks Wonka! I'm looking forward to it!

By the way, for those who might be in the DC area and not in love or lust, they are offering a few "anti-Valentine's Day" themed events as well. Here's one that I thought was pretty funny:

Because 'Cupid is Stupid'
Town Tavern's annual "celebration" of Valentine's Day starts with the "It's Not Me - It's You" open-bar happy hour from 8 to 10 p.m., and keeps going with $5 Bacardi shooters and $3 domestic beers until midnight.

BA

I'm really happy for you, Mike. I mean BA. That is really sweet. My cousin (you might have met her at the viewing) used to waitress there out of college. It was a really nice restaurant then, and I have to imagine it still is. Enjoy the ambience and romance! Carol sounds like an awesome woman.

I totally dig the "It's Not Me - It's You" theme. That *really* cracks me up. Wish I were there to go! I'm going really low key, since it's the anniversary of Dennis' departure from earth. I was planning our dinner, but am so mired down in guardianship that I don't have bandwidth. So I postponed that for awhile. One of the cop friends and I are going out for coffee and then over to Fort Logan to visit. Then I'm taking my little lady friend who can't drive to church and giving her a gift bag of homemade moisturizers. I figure it's about love, right?

Besides, my horoscope says that the 21st and 22nd is supposed to be my total "Venus infused opportunistic" weekend of the year. Turns out that D17 has a basketball tournament. Maybe I'll meet someone there. Or the next day, when my college alumni "reunion" at Elway's occurs. Elway's is a meat market, so... we shall see. At the very least, I have a good alumni friend here and haven't seen her lately so it will be good to hang out with her for the afternoon.

Thanks a million for the themed laugh. That's a total riot.

Looking forward to seeing your photos of the evening on the Alt. You *will* take them, right?

Bets

Thanks Bets! "Carol" is THE bomb!

Wow I can't believe that it has already been 1 year since your friend Dennis passed away. Although I'm only about 6 weeks from the anniversary of my father's death which is even harder to believe. I've often felt that the cruelty about time is that when you finally get old enough to appreciate it, cherish it and make the most of it is exactly when it seems to speed up into warp drive and pass by so quickly!

I will be rooting for you on the 21st and 22nd for a knight and shining armor to come and sweep you off your feet!

I will try and get a couple of photos taken Saturday evening to post on the alt. I do need a new profile photo afterall.

Best,
BA

BA,

It better be an Irish stallion with jet black hair and blue eyes for our Bets. We expect nothing less than best for her, right?

Yes, Valentines Day marks that anniversary. So much has changed since then - it seems really weird.

I should probably change my profile photo too. I just can't seem to motivate myself to remove my brother just yet. He's working in magical ways behind the scenes and I like to be reminded of that.

Oh, Wonka, you made my heart go pitter patter. I really don't have a type (seriously), but the attributes you listed make my woman parts tingle.

I've been having some serious dreams about my long time BF before Mr. Wonderful. And they're all great dreams. I'm really happy when I wake up. But here's the gig... he's happily married, we only talk once a year or so and I don't think about him consciously except around his birthday in November. I don't get it.

Back to work.

Originally Posted By: Wonka

BA,

It better be an Irish stallion with jet black hair and blue eyes for our Bets. We expect nothing less than best for her, right?

Right on Wonka - our Bets deserves only the best!!!

BA

Valentine's Day dinner was really nice. We arrived at the restaurant about 10 minutes before a full-on blizzard snow squall hit, so we were able to calmly watch it from inside the restaurant while enjoying a glass of wine!

Sadly, I failed in not getting a single picture taken the entire night. We got too wrapped up in conversation and I completely forgot. Oh well, you will have to take my word for it, that it was a very, very nice evening. The food was amazing. We both had salmon which was cooked to perfection and paired it with an unlikely bottle of Malbec wine - neither of us was interested in going with the obligatory white wine. I won't get into what was for dessert.

What I like most about this relationship with the GF is that for the first time in my life, there is mutual admiration and appreciation between me and someone else. It is a refreshing balance that we both are on the same page in regard to how we feel and appreciate each other. GF keeps telling me the only thing she is disappointed about is that she didn't meet me 20 years ago!

Life is good.

BA

Awesome BA! But just remember, 20 years ago you weren't the same people you are now

I was just going to say that, Wii!

BA, you know the song Broken Road by Rascal Flatts? It's clearly applying to you and Carol. You're the poster children for this song!

Glad to hear dinner was awesome. But you know my philosophy that life is short, so eat dessert first?

Hey BA,
Your Valentine's Dinner sounds lovely. And I was just saying to someone tonight that I prefer red wine with salmon. Not traditional but a nicely cooked salmon is very rich and sometimes red works best. (I do like a crisp Reisking sometimes too)
I also saw a sign today "I wish I'd met you sooner so I could have loved you longer". Nice thought but as Betsy & WII have pointed out - you'd have both been in a different place & the timing was not right. Better that you met now than never.

Barb

BA,

Isn't Chart House special, eh? What a memory for you and your GF! I bet the dessert was as just good as the main course.

So yes, I told the GF when she said she wished she had met me 20 years ago that she probably wouldn't have liked me then - different time and different place - plus I wasn't technically "available" 20 years ago.

Bets - sometimes dessert is nice before AND after a meal!

Wonka - the Chart house is special. A little pricey, but the food was incredible, as was the company!

So this weekend it will be my turn to treat her at a really nice German restaurant - bring on the sauerkraut and beer!

In just 2 1/2 weeks I will be sitting down with D18 and D16 and asking them how they would feel about increasing our household size by 3 come this June. I think it should go well, but one never knows...

BA

So GF decided to broach the subject of all of them moving in with me this summer with her D17 and S15 last night. She said overall they were okay with it. Her D17's concern was losing her babysitting job that she has with a family that lives in their high rise apartment building and her S15's main concern is being farther away from his friends. I still need to talk to my two D's. Waiting for D18 to come home from college on her Spring Break in two weeks to do that.

I earned major Dad points last night. With both D18 and D16 now driving, we have needed another vehicle when D18 is home from school, especially this summer when they both will have jobs at different locations. So last night I bought a nice little 2005 BMW 330 Convertible. It has been very well cared for and is in outstanding shape. I sent a picture of it to D18 and she was in disbelief and over the moon excited. Now if she can get me out of the driver's seat, she might even get to drive it this summer! :-)

BA

Ok, I didn't realize the kids involved were so old. I know ) to live with your GF, but have you given any thought to just continuing to date until all or most of the kids are out of hihh school? Seems to me you risk a couple of things by trying to combine families at this point: 1) the kids resenting the disruption to their lives (moving away from friends at this age is HUGE) and 2) opposite sex teens who aren't related living in the same house? I remember making out with .y new stepbrother when I was fifteen and he stayed with us for a summer.

Yes we have thought about just waiting for 2 more years before doing this but our preference is to move in this direction if everyone is onboard with it. Now that being said, we are not going to force the kids into this situation. We will discuss it with them and if any of them are adamantly opposed to the idea then we will wait. We don't unrealistically expect them to be jumping up and down yelling hurrah either. We know it's a big change for them.

As far as moving away from friends, they currently live in Northern Virginia and the kids go a school in DC. The school in DC is a charter school which pulls kids from all over the area, so it's not like her son's friends are living in their neighborhood and he just walks over to their house. To visit them he actually has to hop on the Metro and go into DC. Moving to my house would mean his Metro ride is another 15 to 20 minutes longer. Or we would drive them - or in a few months he could drive himself if he wanted to see them.

So far the idea of moving into my house is actually being received by her kids better than I expected. Her oldest daughter is really looking at only a month or so as she will be away for most of July visiting her grandparents and then off to college in October. My oldest is already at college so over the summer she will be with us 50% of the time and the other 50% with her mom.

As for the possibility of hanky panky, I don't see that happening and I don't think I'm being na�ve either. Both my D's have serious boyfriends and they have been around her son enough that I'm pretty confident there is no attraction or concern about them crossing that line. I might be more concerned if the girls were the younger ones (early teens) and he was older.

With the current visitation schedules we have now with our exes, it is going to be only a day or two each week at most that they would all be in the same house.

However, the bottom line is that we aren't dictating this move. These are all 4 really level headed teenagers and we want them to remain that way and know that they have say in the issue and how they feel about it matters to them.

BA

So first of all to my Canadian friends on the boards - you guys must have a boat load of money because I received an email this week from the Canada Revenue Agency. The subject line was "Notice of Tax Return 2014" Apparently I have a return of CAD 795$ just waiting for me to send in this little form for. Now mind you I've never worked in your country; never even worked for a Canadian company; and haven't actually visited there in about 13 years - but Oh Canada wants to grease my palms with $795 big ones! I truly am feeling the love!

Everything else is going pretty well. I'm home today due to the latest, and hopefully the last, winter snowstorm. It is actually a very pretty snowfall - nice big and fluffy flakes. However I am really ready for warm weather and also glad I'm not a Bostonian this year. REALLY feel bad for the Northeasterners as they have gotten really slammed.

Had a nice week with the GF. Her kids have actually warmed up really well to the idea of moving in. Next step is for me to talk to mine next week when D18 is home on Spring Break. I don't expect any real heartburn from my two. In fact my D16 was disappointed I didn't get pop the question over the holidays or at the very least on Valentines Day.

They both thoroughly enjoy it when GF is staying here and also like her kids. I feel really lucky that they are so welcoming to them. It doesn't hurt that GF is the most appreciate and easy going person I have been around in - well ever.

So that's about it on this end - oh, one more thing - I bought a ring...

BA

Aww!! So clever of you to not have done anythingat an "expected time". Congratulations early, you all deserve so much happiness.

kat

BA,

Originally Posted By: BeginningAgain

So that's about it on this end - oh, one more thing - I bought a ring...

You have the right idea here...forget the glass slipper! Going for the real thing...an actual ring. Cannot wait to read about the next installment of your BA Chronicles.

Does the word SCAM mean anything to you BA? Sounds like it to me.

Yep - this Canuck thinks its some kind of Scam. But if you it's real and you don't want it�

You bought a RING!!!!

Now I have to sit back and wait�

Keep us posted!

Barb

Yes I know it's a scam, I just thought it was a bit weird seeing I'm not a Canadian citizen and the fact that in the course of the last couple of weeks I've gotten scamming emails from people pretending to be the US IRS and the Canada Revenue Agency. I must be on someone's popular gullible list!

As for the ring, well it's a beauty if I do say so myself. It has a 1 carat heart shaped center diamond with two Ruby and two diamond side stones. GF saw almost the exact same ring about 3 months ago when we were out walking around and commented how much she liked that style - I'm a good listener!

I was able to pick out the center diamond and had it placed into the setting.

No set date yet as to when I will present it to her. I still need to have a conversation with my kids about the whole moving in stuff and I'd like to talk to her kids as well to get their blessing. It could be as early as two weeks from now or sometime in April.

I have the proposal strategy worked out pretty much. I have to say that in the "old days" it was much easier - now there is all this pressure to make the proposal some grand and unique event - I mean have you seen some of the flash mob and dance production proposals on you tube!

So this is what I have come up with. There is a winery that is a favorite of ours that I'd like to do it at. I went on line and created an "Our Story So Far" book that has pictures of our families in it, pictures of the two of us and the places we've gone to, talks about the values and priorities in life that we share. On the second to the last page is just her full name and then when you turn it to the last page is a picture of the ring with the words "Will you marry me." As we are both looking at the book once she gets to the last page I will be down on one knee with the ring in hand. I'm going to ask some good friends of ours to join us for the "wine tasting trip" so that they can be at the ready to snap a couple of pictures of the proposal for us. It would be great if it comes as much of a surprise to her as possible - and of course it will help if she does say yes!

I'll let you know of course once the deed is done.

Happy Friday everyone! It is friggin cold outside!

BA

hey BA, in Hong Kong you'd wait ten years until you had a $100,000 to do the wedding right lol! They also have a McDonald's that is reserved just for weddings...I kid you not. I love the idea of "Our Story So Far"...very sweet!

BA-You're just too adorable for words. What a romantic!

I'll keep watching this movie with my popcorn and soda. It's worth the ticket.

LOVE your proposal plan! It's perfect! You ARE a romantic guy & she's a lucky girl!

Barb

Thanks Wii, Bets and Barb! I'm totally guilty of being a hopeless romantic! In that past it didn't always serve me well because I was connected to someone who thought purely from a logical, unemotional standpoint and did not appreciate romantic gestures. Fortunately, GF is a complete 180 from that! I'm looking forward to making this a very special event for both of us, but especially her as she really does deserve it!

Oh and Wii - the $100,000 is definitely out of he question, but that McDonald's idea seems interesting...NOT!

BA

That sounds like an awesome plan!! So nice to know that romance isn't dead.

Yes, please keep us up to date as you know there are some of us living vicariously through you at the moment.

kat

So the "Our Story" book arrived yesterday in the mail. The company that puts them together did a really nice job. The pictures for the most part are very clear and it seems to be a quality product. I think she is going to love it! The ring I designed for her will be ready on Thursday. This train is getting ready to leave the station and I'm as happy as a passenger sitting in first class!

BA

Where's the popcorn???

I finally got the chance to sit down with both of my daughters to see how they felt about the possibility of GF and her kids moving in with us this summer. D18 was, to put it mildly, ecstatic about the idea. She is my extrovert and loves the idea of large families and gatherings. She also was very receptive to the idea of sharing her room with GF's daughter. My D16, while not as crazy about the idea as her older sister, was still much more positive than negative. She said she really likes GF and thinks her kids are really nice as well. When I asked her to identify Pros and Cons to the idea, her main Cons were that it would be more crowded and she would have to adjust to living with a boy in the house.

That all being said, I now think the likelihood of this happening is diminishing. When I mentioned to GF that I had talked to my kids and that they were onboard with the idea, she related that her kids, especially her S16, are really not to crazy about the idea at all and are beginning to feel a bit overwhelmed. I have suggested to her that we table the idea and just wait until everyone is off to college. My position in this all along was that if everyone was comfortable with the idea then it was a go, but if even one of the 4 of them was opposed to it then we would simply put it off. I will have an empty house come 2016 when D16 graduates from high school and goes off to college and GF's S16 graduates in 2017. It's only 2 years out and I'd rather wait on this then have anyone living in a situation they aren't happy or comfortable with. GF isn't ready to completely throw in the towel - she said that there is still time for her kids to possibly warm up to the idea. Her lease is up for renewal in June, so she wants to see how they feel by late April or early May before making a final decision. We shall see.

This doesn't change anything for me regarding my intention to propose. I'm crazy about this woman and her kids too. It just means we're going to have a longer engagement period, which isn't a bad thing at all.

Bets - popcorn coming, would you like it with or without butter?

BA

I think it went as well as one could hope for. Her kids would have to move. Not many at that age would want to. But 2 years is not long off at all - especially with a wedding to plan. No need to hold off on the proposal. That could change the kids' minds too.

Good luck
Barb

I completely agree on all your points Barb. When I talked to my girls, I told them that the GF's kids had a heavier lift in all of this since it was them doing the move. My girls agreed.

BA

I totally agree, BA and Barb.

With butter, of course. It's yucky otherwise!

Good job, BA. I wish more people would be as honest and willing to do what is needed (delayed gratification) to make things right. You seriously get an award for that.

Betsey

BA,
I agree - butter with that popcorn. Aren't we an agreeable group today.

You are looking at the Big Picture. Despite the kids, the locales etc - you 2 sound like a good match. And anything worth having is worth waiting for.

Barb

It seems that their issues aren't about you and your GF which is a big bonus. You are making good decisions that won't make for a bunch of resentful kids later on. Slow and steady often wins the race.

kat

Thanks all.

Kat - you are right, the issues that her kids have nothing to do with the relationship she and I have. It's all about having to move from where they are to someplace they aren't as comfortable with. As I said before, I'm not interested in forcing anyone to move anywhere. I certainly don't want to live in a house that is filled with teenage tension!

Slow and steady will win this race. The proposal may come sooner rather than later, but all the rest can wait until the appropriate time.

Now I'm off to make a bunch of buttered popcorn. The movie will hopefully start soon...

BA

Ok so the proposal train has left the station and the wheels are in full motion! It's going to happen this Saturday. My oldest daughter is flying in from Wisconsin and my son from Ohio to be there for it which I think will make it that much more special. I've told GF that my daughter's school (she is a professor at University of Wisconsin-La Crosse) is on Spring Break (which is true) so she is just coming to visit for the weekend. I told her my son has a bunch of frequent flier miles that he needs to use and hasn't seen his sister in a while so he has decided to come out as well (all of that is mostly true).

We're going to all go out to a winery for wine tasting and that's where I'll present her, as a gift, the "Our Story" book I had made for her. The last page of the book has a photo of her ring with the words "Will you marry me" and I'll be down on one knee once she turns to it with the ring in hand.

Wish me luck - although I'm 100% certain the only answer I'm going to get is a big fat "YES".

BA

Awww.....go for it, dude!

We'll be cheering you on from afar.

You've got to debrief us afterward...right?

Thanks Wonka - and yes I absolutely will provide a debriefing. Of course if you don't see a reply from me in a week or so, you will know that I got the unexpected shock of my life and have dragged myself into the depths of isolation!

BA

Good Luck!

Barb

SHE SAID YES!!!

Originally Posted By: BeginningAgain

SHE SAID YES!!!

BA that's wonderful! So happy for you!

Yay!!!

Toast to the happy couple as they embark on a new journey together.

Who? Just kiddin'...congrats!!!!

So happy for your "Ever After"! Sigh...

Barb

Congratulations!! I am so happy and excited for you both and your families!

Big hugs, kat

Me likey! Congrats to you and Carol!

Thanks for the congrats everyone. With the exception of my son not being to make it out (his flights were cancelled) everything on Saturday went off perfectly. The weather was fantastic, my three beautiful daughters were there to witness it and capture some pictures and video, my now fianc� was completely surprised - loved the book I had put together and the ring - and of course the best part is she happily said yes to the proposal.

She broke the news to her kids on Sunday evening and that went very well. They are very happy for both of us and they also loved the book and ring. After sharing the news with them, she then took a picture of each page of the book and posted them on her FB wall. So all in all it was a wonderful weekend!

Onward and upward!

BA

Like!BARB

My name should have been on the 2nd line

Barb

I like Barb too!

LIKE!

Thanks WII

Barb

Had a great dinner with my fianc� and her kids yesterday over at their place. After dinner watched a movie and then talked a little bit about the possibility of us moving in together this summer - okay so it was more of me talking then them. I kept it short and basically let them know that I understood that if they did decide to move in that they had the heavier lift in all of this because they were leaving their home here and moving in with me. I told them that if they decided to make the decision to move in that my home would become their home. I let them know that my two girls were completely in favor of them moving in. I mentioned that this actually took me by surprise because I expected my daughters to be more hesitate about this proposal, but that they told me they really like my fianc� and her two kids. I ended the conversation saying that if they decided to not move in that I would not take it personal at all and understood that it was a big decision on their part. They communicated to me that they appreciated the conversation and my making them feel more at ease about everything. So now I will just wait for them to process everything and come to a decision. Either way is really fine with me. It was a really nice evening.

BA

BA,

What an incredibly adult way to approach things. And I'll just bet you impressed the hell out of her kids by being authentic and flexible. What a great guy you are!

You both have great kids. And I'm afraid we're just going to have to continue calling you Mike and Carol, because it fits! Nice parents, nice kids. All you need now is Alice.

Thanks for the good, positive reads lately. It's uplifting. This movie has been well worth the price of the ticket!

Bets

LOVE!

Barb

(Not to be confused with "Love Barb"!

🌞

Aw thanks Bets for the kind words. I have to admit though that my flexibility benefits me as well. If we (fianc� and I) forced the issue of having them move in, I could very well be faced with the prospect of living, at least part time, with two disgruntled teenagers and that seems to be a recipe for disaster! I'm a big fan of my current drama free world.

It's my hope that they willingly decide to make the move. Stay tuned...

BA

Originally Posted By: Underdog circa 5/10/06

D12 is also kicking butt. She's still making straight A's, is heading into 7th grade in A/P classes and is loving the life of a volleyball player.
She had a terrific time in Dallas--probably thanks to my sister and Nickel--and came "this" close to qualifying for nationals on Sunday (junior olympics). Our club season has now come to a close and she's playing for her middle school and is going to try out for a quick competitive fall league before tryouts for her present club in October. Oh, and she's heading to Scotland for a month with my parents in July. Life's good for her... well, except when I'm trying to keep up with her!

In between volleyball, we watch a lot of hockey. I wound up taking her, a friend and D9 to see the Avs play in March as a gift to myself. (I had a rather generous self appreciating birthday this year. ) Well, D12 fell in love with the game and didn't have to work too hard to convince me to subscribe to Center Ice (which I refused to do if it were only me watching hockey). My friends and family have now dubbed her, "Hockey Junior". We're addicted...and she's given me her full blessing to find a love interest who likes hockey and who also might be inclined to have season tickets or have an interest in going to the games during regular season. Preferably rink side and as close to the glass as possible... or club seats. That makes me laugh!

Just was doing some reading and came across this!

Anyways thought I would share as I know what happens 9 years later.....

Vollyball still going strong.
Did the fall schedule come out yet?

I somehow figure we will meet up at a game or two.

Holy crap, Cadet. I thought they purged the past threads???? That was 9 years ago. Crap! She's now heading into her senior year in college and kind of dreading everything that this year means. What a change...

Yes, the schedule is up! It's not NYC friendly this final season (much to my dismay), unless they make it to the NCAA tournament (why not?) and the hosting powers that be decide to award it to a school in your neck of the woods. Maybe the one in Saratoga? You could bring your GF for a weekend?

We're hoping to try to make it to every tournament this year. Yep, you read that right. It makes me tired even typing that. But this is our last hurrah, so I want to make it a memory with no regrets. I've already told D18's teachers to plan on us being gone every Friday, beginning with the RI tourney. (We won't be going to the ones mid week.) My college buds (you met one of them - there are 2 more) are going to the one in PA, as they are playing our alma mater. So let me know if you can make any one of them and I'll put a star next to that weekend and make every attempt to book it. I'll have D18 for most of them. I sure wish I knew pilot willing to make the trip between Centennial and places east...

D21 is only coming home for 2 weeks in May before heading back your way in mid May. She got an internship in Malta. I'm really relieved for her, but bummed as well. I have never not had her around during the summer and I'm surprised at how sad I am about that. But they all grow up and prosper. Thanks to you and your GF for being my role models there!

Originally Posted By: Underdog

Holy crap, Cadet. I thought they purged the past threads???? That was 9 years ago. Crap! She's now heading into her senior year in college and kind of dreading everything that this year means. What a change...

Time marches on, sometimes faster than we would like. It was one year ago today that my father passed away and it seems just like yesterday I was talking to him on the phone.

Bets - I agree with your strategy of attending all of her tournaments this year. Enjoy every one of them - and if there happen to be any near here let me know and I'll join you!

BA

Aww, BA, sending you an electronic hug for this difficult reminder. I'm not yet ready to lose my parents. (Though I'm not sure when I'd actually BE ready??

) Any good self care on your agenda today?

BTW, I called my dad this morning to find out if he had let in a foreigner in a hospital gown with a gun in the house. He didn't even know about it! But when he turned on the TV, the crawler said the guy stole a car, so his guess is that he's trying to get out of Fairfax County as quickly as possible. It's probably a good thing that he didn't show up at my dad's house. He's got a loaded arsenal there. But then again, it might save the taxpayers some money.

BA, the one tournament that might be in your "sphere" is the one in Grand Rapids. They're playing 4 nationally ranked teams (highly ranked, that is), and she's wondering if her coach is just plain crazy. Then again, you only get better when you play the best, so I don't think he's nuts.

I think it's a good plan too, especially since I won't be seeing much of her at all until volleyball season begins. I'm working on getting Mr. Wonderful to commit to Labor Day weekend in RI. For some more than bizarre reason, I want him to be part of this insanity. This is probably part of my character flaw where I tell him what he should do. But the truth is, I don't need a crystal ball to tell me that if he doesn't do it he will regret it. He's already got a lot of regrets that are fallout from our D. I don't plan on letting him add to the pile, because there is something he can do about it to prevent it from happening. I consider it my ultimate gift to him.

We may be D, but somehow, I know that this is one area in our lives that I can help him overcome his issues. He hates traveling now, and I know it won't change his opinion. But his daughter is worth setting that aside.

Anyhoo. That's the only thing we can do. Move forward.

So hugs for you, BA.

Thanks for electronic hug Bets - it wasn't even shocking!

Even though I wasn't real close to my Dad, it was still tough to see him go and I do miss him. I can't even imagine, nor do I like to even think about, what it will be like when my dear mother passes on since we have a much closer and loving relationship.

The hospital-gowned gunman was all the chatter this morning on the radio and as of this afternoon I believe he's still on the loose. As you know INOVA is not very far away from me either, in fact probably only about 2 miles from the Metro Station I get on. Hopefully he is caught before he hurts anyone.

Okay so are you talking about a tournament in Grand Rapids, Michigan or is there a Grand Rapids, Virginia that I don't know about. If it's the Michigan one, then that's going to be a bit of a stretch for me.

I hope Mr. Wonderful listens to your sage advice and gets his travel plans in order. These are opportunities that pass by and don't come around again and it would be sad if he places his convenience over the satisfaction and appreciation your D21 will have seeing you both in the stands rooting her on!

My self care for today will be sharing a bit of scotch tonight with Carol.

BA

I try not to electrocute people, especially friends!

Looks like they caught the escapee? Your Metro ride home should be a bit safer this afternoon.

Yep, I'm talking Michigan. You're always looking for reasons to go there in the fall, aren't you? It's on "the" lake. You and Carol are going to need a reason to get your last glimpse of Lake Michigan before winter, right?

Otherwise, your choices are Huntingdon, PA, and Atlanta (over Halloween). My folks are driving up to the PA tourney, and like I said earlier, my college buds and I are going to that one too. After D21 graduates, we're going to do a fall trip together somewhere fun. Since 2 of them are in the DC area, I doubt that means they want a staycation.

Hope you and Carol enjoy the scotch. Say, you know what I've been enjoying lately? Remember the drink the proprietor of the 4Ps brought out? Bailey's on the rocks with a shot of Irish Mist? It's a very expensive drink! But I feel like I'm drinking dessert. I've developed a real affection for it. I'm now almost out of Bailey's so another trip to the liquor store is undoubtedly in order this weekend. Without a doubt, I'm sure it will be my drink of choice for my birthday next week. On Tartan Day. Yee ha.

I'm considering a trip home for the 4th with D18. I might get D21 to drive on down. My cousin has a whomping huge neighborhood party and I'd really like to spend the 4th there sometime soon. I've missed it. I'll let you know.

I'll look forward to meeting Carol too!

More non-electric hugs for ya...

Well, BA, I'm coming home for the week of the 4th. So if you're around... I'm bringing D18 with me. She doesn't have summer camp and we'd have had to hire a sitter, so this worked out. Thanks for the inspiration.

Before I go home, I have to express some major disappointment. I will start by saying that tomorrow is the blood moon lunar eclipse, and it is supposed to affect people with birthdays +/- 4 days of April 4th. Yep, that's me. It's supposed to be one that isn't kind. And I already got the first knock a little while ago. One of my expected contracts just got scaled back by quite a bit. The full amount is part of my cash flow projections, and it's going to hurt. Not happy at all.

I did express my gratitude to the person who is doing business with us by thanking her for at least giving us the portion we're getting. I had to work to muster the gratitude, but I really meant it. She's disgusted and disappointed as well. Anyway, I sure as hell hope I can muster up some business to take its place next week.

Blah.

Anyway, hope everyone has a happy Easter.

Happy Birthday Bets! I hope you get all the wonderful gifts you deserve. You truly are a diamond in the rough.

kat

Thanks, Kat!

It was a pleasant enough day to become 53!

Glad you had a good birthday Bets! It goes without saying that you are a very young 53!!

So on another note, Carol and I are looking at a late Spring 2016 wedding - keep that in your travel plans!

BA

LOL, will do! And I'm honored to save the season!

If no date has been selected, I'll just throw this out there. My D21 graduates on May 7 next year. I'll be in NY for that, but otherwise free to hop a plane.

Glad you and Carol have a good plan!

Bets

Thanks Bets! The actual date is going to hinge on when our two college aged daughters (hers and mine) finish classes for the year. Her daughter is going to Evergreen State in Washington and they typically start school in late September and finish in late May or early June. Once we get a firm date in mind I will let you know.

BA

So the decision has been made - Carol and her "bunch" are moving in come early June. Over the last few weeks (and several discussions on the topic with their her), her kids have gotten much more comfortable at the house and the idea of us all living together. I had them over for dinner yesterday and I could tell that her D18 and S16 were much more at ease and felt at home. It's going to be a busy couple of months getting ready for this, but I'm all in 100% and happy with the prospect of merging these two families.

Of course there will be a bump or two (heck maybe even three) in the road, but everyone is being very transparent, open and positive regarding this so as long as we continue to listen to each other and not let things build up I think we will all be fine.

BA

Originally Posted By: BeginningAgain

Over the last few weeks (and several discussions on the topic with their her)

Should have read "their mom".

BA

Glad to hear that the plan is moving along, BA. That's awesome!

Originally Posted By: Underdog

Howdy all,

This is fairly quick as I'm behind at work. I've been off the grid, so to speak, for awhile, as my family experienced a very sudden, traumatic death in the family on Friday. It came as such a shock that I've been kind of incapacitated of late. The kind of incapacitation like bomb day - where you can't sleep or eat or think, and everything you read has to be read a few more times just to get some comprehension. I'm still surprised 5 days later.

Yesterday, I played hooky and let D18 stay home with me for the day. We spent the entire time watching movies, and I asked Mr. Wonderful if he'd let me keep her for the night (which he obliged). I ordered out pizza and we watched more movies until it was time for bed.

At the very least, it has me thinking of my family and wishing I were closer to help. But I can only do so much 2000 miles away, so I'll plug on. D21 comes home in a little more than 2 weeks, so I have that to anticipate with a smile.

Anyway, I just wanted you all to know why I haven't been around here or on the Alt. It's just been difficult to comprehend.

Hope all is well with everyone here. I'll try to make a few short visits while I'm logged in.

Bringing over from Wonka's thread
((((((HUGS)))))

Please take care of yourself.

So sorry to hear of your loss. Call me if you want to, just remember the number we call on isn't my cell.

Big hugs. Kat

Bets - I'm so sorry to hear this. You've had a really rough year my friend. My thoughts and prayers are with you and please let me know if you need anything on this end.

BA

Betsey, I'm sorry to get this so late... I'm so sorry for your loss. I wish I could give you a hug. You mean a lot to me.

And happy belated birthday too. I hope you were able to enjoy it before you got blindsided.

Best,
Maybell

So sorry for your loss, Betsey. Thinking of you.

Thanks, folks. Our community threads down here are confusing, even to me now. LOL.

I have D18 with me at work today. I know it's take your child to work day, but I'm doing it out of laziness. She has an ultrasound and a kidney doctor appointment, and I don't feel like driving around today. She makes me smile, 'cause she's watching movies on her iPad and giggling. It's a good day to have that around.

Take care, everyone.

Giggles are good. We all need that. I wish Ryan was home giggling with me today too.

You - ENJOY!

Barb

So apparently my fianc�'s ex-H is starting to have a meltdown now that he see's her definitely moving on. He's now having second thoughts on his decision to not want her in his life and is fearful that he is going to lose his kids to another man, even though she has told him that I'm not interested nor do I have any intention of replacing him as their father. I don't see myself even as a stepfather since they are almost grown adults. I think of myself instead as a positive calm and responsible adult role model for them.

The fact that we are now engaged and within a month of moving in together has freaked him out. To my fianc�'s benefit she has said that he is just going to have to get used to it because there is no going back and she has never been happier in her life. I will never understand why he wasn't satisfied with her in the first place. I have been around this woman for 18 months now and she is the sweetest, kindest and considerate woman I have ever met. From what she has told me, he is a grumpy and "my way or the highway" type of guy. I think he's just foolish for having let a good thing go and I think it's taken him this long to realize it.

Well enough of my rant. At least it's Friday. :-)

BA

Originally Posted By: BeginningAgain

I think he's just foolish for having let a good thing go and I think it's taken him this long to realize it.

Isn't this part of the script?

Sounds like you have handled it well.

Wow, BA, did this come out of left field? How long have they been divorced?

Trust me, BA...it's not unusual for them to have this type of behaviour when they know the ex is moving on. Mine used to call me when I was on a date to tell me that I was neglecting my children...blah blah blah. They don't want you but they don't want anyone else to want you either! Mine died down, hers will too.

Thanks Cadet for the validation.

Bets - Yes this has just happened in the last week. They have been separated since early 2012 and their divorce was final a year later. She first shared with him that she was seeing me approximately a year ago and he was nothing but supportive up until now. He himself has had a girlfriend for quite awhile, but I have the sneaky suspicion that his relationship with her has either soured or ended. She moved up to New York a few months ago and they have been trying to do the long distance thing.

Wii - Yes I agree in that I think some of the "I don't want you but I don't want anyone else to want you" mentality is at play here as well.

Overall this isn't a huge issue for me. My concern is more for the pressure (or guilt) he may put on my fianc�'s kids (and the stress it would put on her) - as he has already done a couple of things to try and manipulate the situation with them.

BA

Quote:

Yes I agree in that I think some of the "I don't want you but I don't want anyone else to want you" mentality is at play here as well.

Ugh. Hopefully, Carol isn't conflicted by this at all now?

Hey Bets - No Carol is fine. In fact she sent me the following text earlier today when discussing his behavior saying (and I quote with her emphasis): "I had happy moments with ex-H, but with you I am ALWAYS happy. You are my soul mate."

She is not interested in reconnecting with him at all. She just wants him to be happy in his new life and not create any drama or tension for her kids, or us.

BA

BA about 2 months ago my exw sent my now W 2 FB friend request. They dont know each other and we havent communicated or seeing each other in 3 years. I dont know why they do what they do. Dont let it interfere.

Thanks Rick. Not letting it interfere with our plans at all. This is his issue, we just hope he keeps it to himself and doesn't try to manipulate her kids due to his insecurities and/or regrets.

I had a really nice weekend - although it was very cold here on Saturday seeing it is late April. We were stuck in the 30's and 40's pretty much the entire day. I did some more sorting out of things to make room for the soon to be expanded family. It feels good to de-clutterize the house, sort through and donate things that I know are going to be useful other people.

I bought surprise tickets for D16 and I to see the Washington Capitals play the NY Islanders in game 7 of their Stanley Cub Divisional Semifinal series tonight. D16 is thrilled (as am I)! We will be ROCKING THE RED at Verizon Center.

BA

Originally Posted By: BeginningAgain

I bought surprise tickets for D16 and I to see the Washington Capitals play the NY Islanders in game 7 of their Stanley Cub Divisional Semifinal series tonight. D16 is thrilled (as am I)! We will be ROCKING THE RED at Verizon Center.

Sorry for the hijack!

Have a good time BA but

GO ISLANDERS!

Originally Posted By: Cadet

Originally Posted By: BeginningAgain

I bought surprise tickets for D16 and I to see the Washington Capitals play the NY Islanders in game 7 of their Stanley Cub Divisional Semifinal series tonight. D16 is thrilled (as am I)! We will be ROCKING THE RED at Verizon Center.

Sorry for the hijack!

Have a good time BA but

GO ISLANDERS!

Dang Cadet - I'm just not feeling the love here!

Based on how this series has gone, I doubt there will be much love between the CAPS and Islanders tonight either. It's been a pretty well matched series.

BA

Originally Posted By: BeginningAgain

Originally Posted By: Cadet

Originally Posted By: BeginningAgain

I bought surprise tickets for D16 and I to see the Washington Capitals play the NY Islanders in game 7 of their Stanley Cub Divisional Semifinal series tonight. D16 is thrilled (as am I)! We will be ROCKING THE RED at Verizon Center.

Sorry for the hijack!

Have a good time BA but

GO ISLANDERS!

Dang Cadet - I'm just not feeling the love here!

Based on how this series has gone, I doubt there will be much love between the CAPS and Islanders tonight either. It's been a pretty well matched series.

BA

Yea - I guess I must agree.

I was sincere about you having a good time though!

And Underdog knows that I will travel anywhere around the metropolitan area to view some sports, even volleyball, as a for instance.

LOL, yes, I can vouch for him! You're both really great guys. But BA, Cadet's GF is an avid Isles fan...

Go Caps!

What a game!!! So glad I was there to see the CAPs win a game 7 - which doesn't happen for us very often. Sorry Cadet!!

My D16 was over the moon excited to have been there as well. Now it's time to beat the other NY team.

BA

Originally Posted By: BeginningAgain

What a game!!! So glad I was there to see the CAPs win a game 7 - which doesn't happen for us very often. Sorry Cadet!!

My D16 was over the moon excited to have been there as well. Now it's time to beat the other NY team.

BA

Yes it sounded very exciting, glad you had a good time.

Still I am not rooting for the Caps, GO RANGERS!

Spoken like a true New Yorker!

I'd expect no less, either.

I'm thinking my house is going to be a house divided for the next round. D21 gets home with her BF on Saturday, and they will be with me for 2 weeks. Given that he's from the Albany area, D21's BF is a die hard Rangers fan. I'm thinking that she doesn't hold the same loyalty to my former home team either. Well, unless she decides to be his spoiler. I, on the other hand, will be rooting for my former home team.

But can I say that I'm rooting for whoever wins this series to go all the way? I literally can't root for any of my western rivals. So either way, one of you is gonna get my support to the cup.

Quote:

What a game!!! So glad I was there to see the CAPs win a game 7

I saw how revved up the crowd was and thought of you. I know first hand how fun it is to be part of that kind of excitement. D21 and I went to Game 4 of the NLCS in 2007 and it's a memory that will stick with me forever. Glad you experienced it!

Bets

Hey, Bets, just wanted to let you know I've been thinking of you and hoping you're well.

Hugs...
Maybell

Hi Maybell!

Just got back to work from spending my lunch with D21 and her BF at Costco. Thrilling, huh?

Thanks for checking in. All is well in mi casa, and I hope the same is true for you. I'll check in soon - I promise!

Hugs,
Betsey