Have my mediation on Thurs. No idea what to expect just hope we can move forward somehow. Been in this limbo for so long and I feel like I can't truly move forward with my life until we are divorced. For so long I really hoped he would change his mind and want to come back but for the first time I have absolutly no hope that will happen. He called the other day to discuss this mediation and wants us to come to an agreement before we go in. He acts like he is going to be an adult about it but then he starts in. He was so rude on the phone.
Says all he can pay in cs is $300 a month and if I don't accept that then basically he will pay nothing and has it in his head he won't see the boys for the next 10 years until they are 18. His attorny told him if he doesn't pay cs then he won't be allowed back into the country
So if he can't come back to see them he might as well pay nothing. Makes perfect sense... Then started telling me the boys like him better because he is more fun and somehow that got him to that I should just give him the kids... He is off his rocker. I let him go on for a bit then started giving it back. Told him that he is pathetic and what sort of father doesn't help support his kids. He said he is so far gone he won't argue, no idea what that means. He said that I am too mad at him to agree to anything. I said I wasn't mad I felt sorry for him. Its true he is missing out on so much. I know I am being the best mother I can be right now. He can't say the same. I said I didn't know how he could sleep at night knowing what he has done to the kids. I am done. really just done with him. I am just not putting up with this anymore. He has no reason to be like that to me. It is on him if he can't see his kids not me. I will not take the blame for that.
nope...
you can let him know that child support is a calculated number and that you really have no say it in.
the courts use a child support calculator based on income to figure it out...it's not like you can accept less...it's not yours to deny...it is for you kids.
i hate deadbeats
I have told him that he doesnt listen. He claims he has no job so I have no idea how they figure out child support. He does get help from the government guess some sort of unemployment. His wages cant be garnished because he lives kut if the country. Lucky him.
I hate deadbeats too and I would have never thought I would marry one
In my state CS goes through probation and is automatically deducted from whatever income including government income. Right now it's time to put on your business hat and leave your heart on the shelve. Mediation is where things get agreed. Expect him to behave in ways you never thought he would. It happened to me not pretty
Well mediation was a Giant waste of time.. H was just a loon on the phone just kept talking in circles and giving no answers. Even the mediator was amazed by his idiocy. At one point he wrote on a piece of paper I have no idea what to do... Welcome to my life
So since we got nowhere we have to now go in front of a judge. H still thinks he can just say I can only pay 300 and that is it. He was harrassing me all afternoon to take the court out of it and just take 300 from him. I guess and just stay married forever. And he found out that if he is in arrears he could not be let into the country. Somehow that is my fault too I am keeping him from the kids. Get a job and pay c support.
I am in such a differnt place with this than I would have been last year. I said you chose to leave the US and you are choosing to not pay c support but it is my fault you won't be able to see the boys... Makes perfect sense to him.
Hopefully one of these days I will finally get a divorce. I am so done with him and his crap.
Paige,
I'm sorry to hear that mediation was a waste of time. He's clearly projecting about not seeing the kids.
As you know.. you can't make him see the light that HE is responsible for his own actions.
Continue to stand firm as you have been.