Betsey's thread got locked so I'll say it here. My new attitude BA is "date 'em all, let God sort 'em out!" You try it out first, let me know how it goes lol.
I really didn't consider it my thread - it seems to be the community thread for hashing stuff out.
So welcome to the bar or the coffee joint - whatever you need this to be.
Welcome to all who are trying to figure out what we're doing, and the others who are trying to help us.
In true DB form - Wii just did a 180!!! But I think it's the way to go. You look through the whole bowl of apples to find the one that appeals to you most. If once a week an apple appeared on your doorstep & it was pretty good - you would probably just go with it. But if whole bowl appeared - you'd be a lot choosier.
Barb
B & B,
Great advice and I plan on following it! I just got a call from Great Expectations trying to sell me a membership. Yeah, only $2,000; I had a friend who signed up a few years ago. No thanks...
Glad you opened another thread. I thought I got locked out for some reason?
In true DB form - Wii just did a 180!!!
Hey, I can go both ways Barb...OK, maybe not.
Anyway, I don't think there's a right or wrong. I think BA should do what makes him comfortable. Coffee meetings (as I was informed are not to be called "dates" by a lady) are rushing here and there and usually the man lets the lady pick the place, which is usually a place they are comfortable with and that's not necessarily near you. So pumping them all into one week and fitting the rest of your life in as well seems a bit much to me. But hey, that's the way some people like to roll. I'm good either way.
No one said it all had to be in one week but these get togethers also don't have to be heavy duty dates. Somewhere just to meet snd talk is the point. Lucky that you have 4 interested at once. I think it seems to be feast or famine.
kat
Invite all four to the same restaurant and just move from table to table. No fuss, no muss and far less travel time lol!
Why does that make me think of dinner with Mrs Doubtfire?
kat
Wii,
That sounds a lot like speed dating? Lol. Go for it!
Hope BA comes back to tell us what path he's going to take. We can live vicariously through him?!
I've had a great day. I met a new client over the phone today and immediately knew where he was from and he confirmed that although he lives in Georgia, he's from northern Virginia and we share lots of common experiences. I love when that happens. Plus he is spending money with me. Life is good.
Sweet Stuff has been busy interviewing but we are plodding along comfortably. I've been busy napping like the dead. I think it's the heat because I'm wilting. Golf Girl I don't know how you can swing a club in it. Anyway, he is still sweet and I'm enjoying the journey. We had a very deep conversation about trustworthiness last night. We were both honest and I think he realized how deep it was and incorrectly guessed that I had a hidden agenda for bringing it up. I didn't. At least I seem to have learned something along this bumpy road.
When times were tough, this place was a godsend. I'm thankful that I still have quite a few friends in person who I met here. I'm blessed.
TTFN,
Betsey
Sweet Stuff really sounds like a great guy. You are building a R from the ground up - one bit at a time. That gives you a pretty solid foundation. Keep enjoying!
Not all guys enjoy talking on the phone. Fortunately for me - Josh does. That's good since we are apart a lot. But we have learned to keep up frequent, quality communication.
Enjoy!
Barb
He is definitely a chatty guy, Barb. I'm not sure how that happened because he grew up with 3 brothers and one sister, and from his stories it sounds like a house of testosterone. He's an anomaly.
I also have a text from him when I wake up every morning. In my earlier days, I would have considered that cloying. But since he told me Sunday that he's falling for me, that changes everything. I'm not as quick in that department but his feelings are real to him, and he's honest about them. I'm doing what I can to appreciate and honor that. Besides, it's nice to know someone wakes up thinking about them. I'm usually crazy in the morning, struggling with D16 while getting her butt out of bed and dressed, but I answer him back before I leave and wish him a happy day. It's just thoughtful, you know?
But we will see how this all plays out. Right now, I take it one day at a time. That mindset has been the best thing about having a special needs child. You never live outside the present, and that keeps me grounded firmly in today...
Betsey
Ok - so I am going to have a busy week folks. The advice from the board seemed to lean towards (okay so maybe it was screaming) "don't limit your options early on" so I'm taking the damn the torpedos, full speed ahead approach.
Saturday it's "date 2" with MG1. We will be attending a festival here in town.
Sunday it's "meeting 1" with MG3 at a local yogurt eatery.
Wednesday it's "meeting 1" with MG2 for a walk along the National Mall in the evening after work.
TBD with MG4 - the ball is in her court right now to respond back to me with her schedule availability.
I feel like I'm on that cheesy show the Bachelor - perhaps I should ask them if they will accept this rose at the end of each date!
Wish me luck!
BA
Hey BA - I was thinking it was like Bachelor - LOL & I love that show despite the fact it is far from reality
I had 2 dates on the same day a few years back. One rose 1 stays, 1 goes. The choice was pretty obvious to me but every person & every situation is different
Good luck & just have On my way! Fun out there!
Barb
BA,
I just got the funniest visual of you and the rose. That is hilarious!
So know you have a middle aged cheerleader in Denver. I hope you have fun on every single outing with these women!
But just know that I'm not going to cheer for you if you choose Mrs. BA at the end of season 1.
Good luck!
Betsey
May the force be with you BA!
Betsey - I'm going to need all the support I can get. I hope I have fun as well. These first meetings always make me a little bit nervous and anxious since they often feel like an interview and my inner competitiveness makes me want to do well in them - I know I have issues!
Wii - I think I will need more than the force. MG4 has responded back wanting to meet up this weekend (not sure when I can fit her in). To top it off there is now an MG5 expressing keen interest in getting together. These are just the women that have reached out to me that I find attractive and have interests similar to mine. There are others that I can tell we would not be a good match without even meeting. I am beginning to think there may be a shortage of men here in the DC area.
BA
BA,
I am beginning to think there may be a shortage of men here in the DC area.
This has been the case in DC for a really long time. It was true when I was a young 20-something single, and I guess it still is. The guys I met out and about used to just sit back and let the women do all the work. I met one such fellow - back when I was cute, skinny, with a great butt - and he smirked and told me, "Whatcha gonna do that someone else has already tried harder?" I remember telling him, "Absolutely nothing. I don't work for my food - my food works for me." LOL, his jaw dropped.
When I moved to the Bay Area in the late 80s, it was the total opposite. I was a desirable fish in a pond that was well stocked with intelligent and good looking engineers who also happened to make boat loads of $$. I thought I had reached xanadu, you know? That's where I met my XH, whose strategy wisely was to inch his way in as my friend while I dated these boneheads.
Maybe that's not a bad angle for you in reverse? Choose the one you think would make your best friend? Of course, there would have to be that kind of attraction to go with it, but maybe you could quickly figure out who gets to stay on your calendar and who goes?
Good luck! 5? You're a stud!
Betsey
Are you up for the challenge? Also, because she wants to meet quickly doesn't mean you have to either. Keep your hands on the steering wheel, do what you're comfortable with. I'd be clutching my chest and falling face first into my dinner plate if I were you right now lol. But I was a slooooow roller.
I think there's a shortage of good men everywhere! But, I'm supposed to be changing my thoughts so I can manifest my man! Ya know..."The Secret" approach.
Have fun BA!
GG,
Ya know..."The Secret" approach.
Good for you! All it takes is one good guy, right? And if he likes to swing his clubs with you, all the better?
I probably need to do more cleaning out at home myself. They say if you clear clutter and make room for someone to move in and occupy that space, your heart follows. Huh. More organizing this weekend...
Lol - my boyfriend actually asked me for a drawer and some closet space
(He lives 2 hours away and comes down to see me most weekends.)
My closets are pretty full, but I can clean out a drawer!
I'm certainly hoping for a guy who can swing his clubs!
...and who's small enough to fit in a drawer. But don't get him excited before you close it!
Lol - my boyfriend actually asked me for a drawer and some closet space
(He lives 2 hours away and comes down to see me most weekends.)
Tell him he has a trunk in his car...use it lol!
Oh, then I will need to be spending many a hour to get my clutter gone! Yes they need some space to be here. I have my sister from my year in Denmark coming in about two weeks. That should make for a good reason to start.
Kat
No matter what the reason - when you declutter - you just feel so much better.
Purging is good for the soul!
Barb
That's how I look at my marriage....time to declutter!
And I do feel so much better!
I don't think he will have too much of a problem...he has them all numbered! Lol. Kind of like Thing1 and Thing2. Enjoy!
Maybe you can have a group hug!
Originally Posted By: kml
Lol - my boyfriend actually asked me for a drawer and some closet space smile (He lives 2 hours away and comes down to see me most weekends.)
Tell him he has a trunk in his car...use it lol!
That's just the problem, Wii - he takes the train down!
Ellie: he really does sound like a wonderful guy. I would definitely give him a drawer, closet space or even a trunk. Traveling is hard on people. I loved it when I finally had a few of my things at Josh's. I would even take a pic to remember what I'd left there. It's just a practical matter & even more important to a guy who is taking the train.
I get the weekend thing. To me - it is still the best of both worlds. Enjoy!
Barb
hello golfgirl, what is the "secret approach" can you enlighten me?
Thanks,
Gunny
Gunny,
She's referring to the book "The Secret" which is based on the laws of attraction. In essence, how we think is what we manifest. The author is Rhonda Byrne. It's a short book (and also a movie), and a good read.
There are plenty of authors who write about the laws of attraction, so read away!
Betsey
hi betsey,
Thanks for the quick reply, will get to it! Enjoy your day,
Doug
Gunny,
My pleasure!
Gineen, in case you're reading this, pay attention. It ties to what I wrote on your thread. I'm a firm believer in the laws of attraction.
In fact, it is a practice I use to bring business my way. I spend time before bed keeping a gratitude journal, and spend a lot of time visualizing (ok maybe it's daydreaming lol) business coming my way. My big project this year is directly tied to that manifestation. While it isn't enough to sustain me long term, it was the answer to my prayers and is allowing me to be a little creative to bring in more business. I got 2 orders on Thursday and am getting a nice order on Monday as well.
It's not a magic bullet but more along the lines of waking up each day and going to bed each night knowing I have enough for the moment. I'd really make a poor nun in the little sisters of the poor or poor Claire's order... They pray for the money and resources they need each day. I'm not THAT good or happy living in the moment!
Anyway, once you practice this technique, it makes it much more natural to feel as though you're going to get what you need and want.
A few months ago I wrote my company an imaginary check for $3M. One day I'm going to see that. Then I'm buying drinks for all of us!!!
I didn't declutter today but cleaned my house from top to bottom. I feel better about that. Now I need to pack for D16, who is going camping with her dad tomorrow morning for a few days. I get a couple days to regroup and get her back Tuesday night. Sweet Stuff is coming over after church tomorrow but I don't know what we're doing yet. I'm not really caring what we do, either. Wednesday evening, my oh-so-hot cop friend is taking me to the baseball game. He's so much fun, and I'm excited he asked me to go. It's a fireworks game to boot! For the record, he's gay, so there is no monkey business here. It certainly doesn't hurt me to go with a hot guy who packs heat...
Hope everyone has a good weekend!
Betsey
Bets,
I have this great book that has good concrete information on how to manifest things into your life:
The Vision Board: The Secret to An Extraordinary Life by Joyce Schwarz ISBN: 978-0-06-157908-0
The other thing that I am a big believer of is feng shui. Books by Lillian Too on this subject are really helpful. I also hired a feng shui consultant to help me with my house. You could have one for your office to bring more financial abundance into your business.
I read a great story about manifesting your wishes into reality. When Jim Carrey was a poor struggling actor just starting out in the business, he climbed a hill somewhere in Hollywood and he pulled out a check he had written to himself for $20 million dollars from his back pocket. Then, I think, it was
Mask that he finally hit his first $20 million paycheck.
"Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise."~Philippians 4:8
Sorry Gunny!
I've been out 'manifesting' my perfect man on match.com and trying to catch BA on the number of dates in one week.
I make a vision board every Jan. and I look at it often. The focus is really on me and what I want to draw into my life. I imagine that amazing person in my space for 10-15 minutes every day. But, that's about it. The rest of the day I'm busy doing what I want to do!
Mostly I'm spending time sifting through the "winks" and wondering what the heck is that all about!!
Stop winking at me and send an email...darn it!
Now I'm going to go apply self-tanner in preparation for a few more dates!
Watch out BA!!!
Golfgirl, yeah, whats with those winks, or the 28 year olds that pop up with only one photo and their story cut and pasted onto another one, where the narrative doesnt flow, makes me think natasha from soviet union is writing! lol
I like the ones that say they're interested, but when you click on their profile it doesn't exist!
I bought a $15 LivingSocial deal and that's how long I'll stay on match.com. It takes too much effort/time for the pay off. There simply has to be a better way to meet quality people!
I'm thinking bookstores, libraries, coffee shops, running trails, etc, you are bound to find like minded people there!
Well I am halfway through my dating marathon and BA thinks he is going to be in Big A$$ trouble at the end of this experience.
My second date with MG1 (aka: drop dead gorgeous Jan) went really well. She is definitely into me and I am attracted to her as well. It is not a 100% compatibility match but definitely enough to keep my interest and she definitely wants more dates - bottomline is she got a rose!
Date number 1 with MG3 (aka: Lucy) was a huge success as well. She is as cute (if not cuter in some ways) as Jan, very petite (standing barely 5 feet 1 inches tall) blond, full of energy and as sweet as ever. If there is anything negative at all it's that I am her first date off of Match. She hasn't reached out to anyone else and it was her daughter who actually encouraged her to "get out there and date." She has been widowed for 4 years. However, she definitely wants to see me again and so yes she got a rose as well.
Date 1 with MG2 (aka: Amanda) has been rescheduled for this evening and if she even lives halfway up to her profile then yep she'll get a rose as well.
Finally, MG4 (aka: Romy) got back to me over the weekend and wants to meet me Tuesday night. If she also lives up to her profile I'm in deep, deep trouble.
The good news is I don't think I need therapy yet as I do have some restraint. On Sunday I declined the opportunity to meet MG5 who asked if I would like to meet her, as I find this situation I am in crazy enough already.
At this point I'm wondering what the opportunity is for having sister girlfriends...
BA
Did u say Romi? Wait a minute.
BA,
I hope you have a good florist in VA!
OMG, wow! I don't know what to say. But.... really? REALLY?
Holy cow, you must have totally underestimated your appeal, BA. I'm thinking I should pack up and move back home and see what I'm missing.
Lucy... that could be me. As of April, that WAS me. I don't think that's a bad thing. You have to start somewhere, right? And no matter what happens with her, I'm glad you're her first. You're going to give her the entry into this pool that she's going to need if she has to endure the losers that go after you. I wish I was kidding, but I'm not. You are a NICE GUY. And someone like her deserves to start her online dating life with a nice guy with you. That way, we know she won't be on some online blog with a thread like mine...
Wowsa. My head is still shaking in disbelief. Way to go!
Betsey
And BTW, I might have to update a bit later myself. I'm still cogitating.
Yesterday was mutual disclosure time for me and Sweet Stuff, as it's been a month now. We both learned some new stuff about each other and it's big for both of us. His revelation has to do with his crazy XW. I'll just tease and say that I wish he had found us on this board when he was going through his craziness. Because his XW is in the realm of evil.
I'm still processing how I feel about it, but it's not a deal breaker by any means. It's just... heavy stuff. Most of our former spouses were misguided, pie-in-the-sky deluded, or just plain selfish. His XW puts all our former spouses to shame.
Anyhoo, back to stuff here. I'm slammed. You'd think a holiday week would be slow in corporate America, but not for me. I'll just say I'm grateful and blessed because busy hands earn income. So count me in the pile of happy there is so much to do.
Golf Girl, hope the more moderate temps mean more golf for you?
Betsey
Wow, BA, when it rains it pours!
I don't envy you the juggling act of dating so many at once - but if you have several good prospects, I do think it's appropriate not to just jump at the first one, but take some time to get to know more about them.
And once you choose someone, I think the politest (polite-est? Most polite?) way to let the others down is to tell them you really enjoyed meeting them, but that you've decided to move forward with dating someone else that you met around the same time. Maybe someone4 else here could word that a little better.
As for me - my new guy told me this weekend "I want to call your ex up and THANK him!!!" lol.
Wow! BA...I'm impressed. Enjoy!
Match Date #1 out of the way and no dice. Nice guy, but no connection.
I'm thinking of subscribing to Evan Mark Katz's Focus Coaching program. I am using some of his advice already and we'll see how it goes.
Nice temps today, Betsey. Have a lesson at Indian Peaks at 12:15.
Betsey,
Let's connect and hit some balls!
How do we do that?
Lynn
Lynn,
This weekend I have D16, but I'd love to make some time to do that next weekend! I live in the DTC area.
Let's see how to do this. Do you know anyone here offline? If not, maybe you could go to the pro shop at Indian Hills and tell me to call at a certain time? LOL. That seems insane.
It's been so long since I hit some balls. Can you stand to be with a hacker? Plus my pitching wedge is now missing. WTF? I'm not sure if D16 used it as a weapon against neighborhood animals, but...
Betsey
My four day dating marathon is over. The good news is I survived and I do have a slight bit more clarity then I had a couple of days ago. For those who may be interested here's a recap of the last two women I went out with (Amanda and Romy):
Amanda - We met outside a Barnes and Nobles and took a nice long walk through town. She lived up to her pictures. She is a very cute, tan, tall blond and is very, very fit - I mean the woman had some serious guns on her. She works out regularly, does yoga and teaches nutrition at a local college. Anyway to make a long story short, I think she is a bit too quirky for me and there really didn't seem to be a real connection between us. So Amanda falls into the "one and done" category unfortunately.
Romy - Is a FIRECRACKER. She's an elementary school teacher and full of life. She is also the youngest of the 4 women I dated - only 45. We met for drinks and spent about 3 hours together which felt like maybe 1 at most. Very good conversation and she thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Of the four women, she was the ONLY one who initiated any type of physical contact by reaching for my hand as we walked out to our cars. I liked that. So Romy and I will definitely have another date.
So next week instead of 4 dates I will only have 3 (see I am getting better). I'm trying not to feel guilty about it and give each of them the attention they deserve on the dates - although I am wondering if the failure of chemistry with Amanda was partially due to my fault in that I really didn't want to go through with all four dates and still have 4 women that I was interested in. I did try to be engaging with her - but I think I really was placing a lot of focus on why she might not work out for me instead of the opposite.
Oh and I have stopped communicating with anyone new on Match until I sort the above hot mess out!
BA
Wow, BA, that's impressive stuff!
Romy sounds special... do keep us posted.
I promised an update, so here it is. Sweet Stuff disclosed his overall story to me on Sunday, and we hashed stuff out last night, and it's kind of bittersweet.
The end is that Sweet Stuff is moving back to Chicago in August to be with his family and friends (support network is strong there). His XW told the 2 oldest sons that only his complete ruination was her goal. To say they hate her is a gross understatement. They got divorced here in Colorado, where the laws are willy nilly. He pays child support, yet she has a restraining order against him so he can't even see his kids, call them or show up at baseball games. He made a decision a few years back to show up anyway and got hauled away in cuffs. The arresting cop was apologetic when he told Sweet Stuff that she was pressing full charges and he felt sorry for him. His D attorney told him he has never met a more vindictive and evil spouse. And coming from a D attorney, my guess is he's seen it all.
The restraining order resulted in a felony menacing charge, which is on his record until he gets it expunged (which he can do). It also prevented him from continuing his cherished career as a middle school language arts teacher.
He's got a lot to deal with there, and I support him going home to figure this out so he can achieve long term happiness. His family can offer him the support while he goes through the legal processes to clear up his record and try to get some visitation with his kids. Ironically, the oldest boys call him when they are at friends' houses to talk to him. She won't allow them to call from the house. I think that's beyond sad.
So I had to tell him I hope he understands, but I'm not a time killer and don't want to continue knowing there is an ending here with both of us starting new chapters. He understood. He told me some really nice things that he appreciates in me that made me cry. And this morning he texted me and told me that I'm one of the genuinely nicest persons that he's ever met and he wished I was going with him. So at least he gave me one big gift and that's hope. That's a big thing for me, and I really, REALLY appreciate hearing those words.
We're going to text and call but not see each other, which is my boundary. I'm okay but a little bummed.
My next plan is to get back in shape and go hit some balls with Golf Girl. My back is in much better shape this summer - something that prevented me from hauling my clubs around and being conducive to taking productive swings the past couple of years.
I'm not going to go back online for the time being. I think I'm just going to get back to the business of being me and devoting my energy to my relationships with my daughters. D19 was genuinely sorry for me last night, which was nice. She's leaving in a little over a month, so maybe we can head up to Cheyenne Frontier Days at the end of the month and make a little trouble together... at the Alan Jackson/Randy Houser concert.
In the meantime, I'm going to the baseball game tonight with one of my hot (and also gay) cop friends. We have good seats above home plate, it's a fireworks game (and the best in Denver), and he's buying me dinner and drinks. I couldn't possibly be disappointed about this! The best thing about my gay male friends is that we can admire the other guys together. Life is really great.
In the meantime, I'm going to go home and do a little more weeding. My a*hole neighbor called the HOA on me when my lawnmower was broken, and I have to be in compliance by Friday (she could have come over to ask me if something was wrong?). My landscaper is trying to get me on the schedule in the next week, which will eliminate this problem altogether. I haven't had money until now. The ironic thing is that the neighbor who turned me in committed suicide last week. Go figure? Life sure is strange.
Anyhoo, hope everyone has a fabulous 4th! Stay safe and have fun!
Betsey
(((((((((())))))))) Sorry to hear about Sweet Stuff, Bets.
Have a really good time at your hot date at the ball park. Sounds like the perfect medicine to me.
Have a great time tonight, Betsey! I'll be at the fireworks in Erie. I'm sorry things didn't work out with Mr. SS, but you were indeed a gift to each other.
I'd be happy to hit some balls with you anytime! I'm out of town for the next two weekends, but get your game on and I'll be ready that last week of July.
I have TWO match.com dates this weekend. One is playing golf and the other is a coffee/drink date. How cool is that?? They are both golfers and I'm SUPER excited about that...
Will report on my progress as I attempt to catch BA in the numbers game! I just posted a picture of my MGB, so that will bring out another set of specimens!
To be continued.....
Golfgirl - you are playing unfair!!! Guys are suckers for car pictures! How am I going to compete with that??? I saw a profile of a woman who was laying on the hood of a 1970 Pontiac GTO convertible - heck I don't remember what she looked like but I can still picture that car!
Maybe I'll take a picture of my walkin closet to show how much room I have for some lucky lady's shoe collection!
Good luck with your dates this weekend - BTW for future reference I am a golfer and in your age bracket!
BA
Sorry about SS, Betsey. I think you are wise to not continue seeing him, it just postpones the inevitable feelings. Also, you're absolutely right not to go online right away, give yourself some time...sometimes the shorter relationships can be pretty hard because you have so many fantasies about what might have been. Anyway, you reached out to someone, formed a wonderful bond and lived to tell about it lol. That's a huge step.
So sorry to hear this Bets - he seemed so good for you. Although his ex probably IS nuts - remember that there are usually 2 sides to it & you've only heard his version of it. It's not likely he did nothing wrong to get such harsh treatment from the judge. You can probably check into it but you're better just to checkout of it.
Still [censored] though...
Barb
Thanks, friends. I'm truly fine with it all.
GG, you're on!
BA, so this means I have a green light to present a photo of me sprawled on the hood of my adorable RX-8??? It's really cute and fast too. That's where having all my cop friends might come in handy...
BTW, my first car was a red Triumph Spitfire. My dad always had MGB's before he had kids. We both have an affection for sports cars, which is why I'm enjoying the Mazda now. It's just..... Fast!
Barb, per above friends, his story checked out. My date last night said he read the arresting officer's statements and HE felt bad for SS. It doesn't matter anyway. We've texted but that's it. I'm content on hanging out with my girls and their friends. D19 just left for the pool, and D16 and I are watching Take Me Out To The Ballgame. We're huge Gene Kelly fans in my house...
Then tonight D19 is making her special organic pizza with cauliflower crust, then a bunch of her friends are coming over to hang out by the chiminea. I will enjoy having them around.
Yes last night was really fun. We had seats in the upper section above home plate, which is my favorite spot. They must have let all the cops have the night off, because my friend was laughing as he waved to his colleagues around us. It's good to know we were protected well last night. One of the was a member of the SWAT team. You never know. Every single game that I've been to when we play the Dodgers, the cops are called to remove the riff raff. I've gone to a lot of them. I'm happy to report no incidents.
All is okay here. I love the 4th. My dad has a retired cop friend in England who calls today "Give a country away day" LOL.
Have a fabulous one!
Betsey
Gineen,
Thanks!i actually have quite a few hot gay friends. Three of them are cops. And all of them are fun. I'm particularly fond of the one who took me to the game last night. He looks like a really hot Tiger Woods (I'm serious). When we got to the restaurant/bar before the game, we got carded. The bouncer/host looked confused when he mentally did the math between us. I started to laugh and said, "so I graduated from high school the month before he was born. So what?" My bud said, "don't explain yourself"... If he was straight AND I was a cougar, I'd totally go for him. But if HE was straight, he said D19 was totally his type. LOL
Barb, I know it's hard to believe but Colorado is a really impossible state for divorce. You know our mutual friend, Linda, and her outcome. She had it the toughest.
But I have 2 friends who have had nightmares too - and they happen to be women. Their xh's were awful and continuously dragging them to court. One of them has a daughter with the same diagnosis as D16, and she and her xh (her current H too) are commercial pilots. Her xh wanted their disabled daughter placed in a home instead of living with my friend and her H. Problem is that there are no institutions here. And thankfully, during one of the many times she was dragged to court, her lawyer found a witness in another pilot. The pilot testified that her ex confided to him that he was he'll bent on ruining her. It had a happy outcome, but she wasted so much time and money fighting his bogus accusations.
My business partner's wife had a similar journey. Her xh is a real a-hole. They had to declare bankruptcy after his numerous court filings. Happily, 2 years ago they finally proved to the court that he was making stuff up (all unfounded abuse allegations) and told him that he would jail and fine him the next time he saw him in his court room. The even sadder outcome is that her 3 sons are so messed up by this.
I know more folks who were suffering in the parenting column after unfair and untrue allegations. I wish the courts here made things a little tougher.
Even my cop friend last night told me how bad things can be. He's had to arrest for the restraining orders where there has been no proof.
In the end, I'm SO happy Mr. Wonderful and I aren't part of that. I've thanked him recently too. As in yesterday... After he told me he's pretty much going to be out of state the entire months of November and December.
BA, that might mean we're in town for a thanksgiving and Christmas. I'll let you know. That way, we can have the holidays as a family at my folks' if it works out. But I'd say probably Thanksgiving is a given.
Ok, time to join all the kids in my back yard.
TTFN,
Betsey
wow.. have i missed alot.. betsey, im glad you are doin ok. im impressed with how you are handling it. that makes me happy. i have a wierd attachment to all you people here. i worry bout my "friends"sometimes.
Clay
Hey Betsy,
Funny, I was thinking about Linda while reading about SS & his problems. Yep - she went through a lot for sure. We are still good friends today. We were just sharing moose stories yesterday.
I LOVE my hot gay guy friends. Met 2 of them when I was on a cruise with Linda & they are still a couple of my beasties today. Michael could do GQ ads - he is just what I need sometimes. LOL
I think you have a great attitude. Keep it up. You are inspiring!
Barb
I love this thread....Lots of support for each other along with humor; how can it get any better?
UPDATE!
Match (1) Met for coffee and no sparks, but great conversation about golf. Works in the DTC area (Betsey??)
Match (2) Met for brunch on July 4. Nice guy, not a golfer and too recently divorced and eager to 'couple' up quickly. Had a rose waiting for me at the table...very nice.
Match (3) Met for golf yesterday and dinner. He's actually an Indian native so we talked a lot about my trip and ate at an Indian restaurant. GREAT golfer, but way too quiet for this little whipper snapper. Not my guy, but would play golf with him again.
Match (4) coming today...
Match (5) coming tomorrow...
BA, I still have open spots on my dance card! Bring your clubs and get on out here! How fun would that be?
Yep, the 'car pic' is bringing 'em on in. I'm no dummy!
Happy Saturday everyone!
GG you crack me up. Can't wait to hear updates from you and BA...
I've got an interesting update on Sweet Stuff. We've been talking on and off since Tuesday, and he's having a change of heart about moving back to Illinois. He spent the 4th with his 17 year old son, and they had a really great day. Apparently his S17 told him that his S16 and S14 (the 3 of them) do not want him to move. They understand his position but would like for him to be here. He told his S17 about me and told him he is falling in love with me. I guess his S17 told him to stay and fight here. So he's planning on going home for a visit over Labor Day weekend and getting his plan together.
So... Now I know his feelings and his overall plan and I will continue to take things slowly here. I have to... Mr. wonderful's work travel schedule just took a big turn for the nasty starting in September. Really nasty. That will pull D16 into a funk and I'll be the parent left to manage her anxiety. He doesn't like it any more than I do either. Oh well.
Barb, we went for a walk last night and I found myself behind Linda's old house. Had she stayed here, she would have lived across the park from me. I wish she did. I also consider her a friend... We keep up on FB. I hope she's had an easier time this year.
Time to finish laundry. Sunday nights are a bit crazy here... Laundry to finish and lunches to make. Back to the grindstone at work tomorrow. Not a complaint - I have plenty to accomplish. Once the 4th is behind us, summer seems to fly by quickly. D19 leaves for New York again a month from today. Sigh. I do love that kid and already find myself missing her. She seems to work when I'm home and I don't see her much as it is.
Hope everyone has a great week!
Betsey
Match 4 (Dave) is totally my type and we had a lovely, lovely time last evening. He's 52, very fit, athletic, smart, funny, has his own insurance agency, and YES he is a golfer. HOPE to see him again; he lives south, but who cares when the chemistry is that good? Let the waiting begin...
Match 5 was a nice golf date, but no sparks and he has a 10 year old and very limited time. Probably not a match.
Match 4 sounds great!!!
And if the vibe is right, a little bit of a commute should not be an impediment. My current boyfriend takes a 2 hour train ride every weekend to be with me.
Fingers crossed for you
GG - Personally I think Match 4 has a very very nice first name
. Aside from a 2 year age difference he sounds like my twin!
I had date number 2 with Lucy last night which went really well. She opened up a bit more about herself and we had some very good flowing conversation. She is definitely interested in taking things very slowwwly. I told her that is ok as long as slowwwly doesn't mean stagnant and there is at least some progression and continued attraction between us. I don't want to just be in a "friend zone". We both have some travel coming up over the next couple of weeks so it may be a bit before we reconnect.
Thursday is date number 2 with Romy which I am really looking forward to. Of the three women, she has kept in contact with me the most which I really appreciate and also seems to have the most chemistry.
Jan on the other hand seems to have dropped a bit off the radar. I've reached out a couple of times and have gotten less than enthusiastic responses from her. Which is ok since I still feel like I have my hands full.
That's it for now.
BA
GG,
he lives south, but who cares when the chemistry is that good?
As in South... down near my way? Ohhhh.
BA, you are a total rock star. Glad to hear that you have specifics in mind and that you were able to state them.
You guys are impressive!
Take care!
Now, off to my mammogram - which I almost forgot about until I cleared off my desk and really looked at my calendar. OY!
Betsey
Keeping my fingers crossed about Sweet Stuff and wincing in sympathy about the mammogram...
Dave texted today with the "date follow-up" and asked to see me again soon....yay! It's in the works...
Yep, Betsey...Centennial/Parker. Not close at all to Erie, but I agree with Ellie that distance is not that big of an obstacle at this point. Gives us both a little 'breathing room.'
Match (5) Kind of a big goofy guy. Not my type, but a fun golf outing nonetheless.
Match (6) A bona fide "Peter Pan" who has never been married and kept saying, "That's cool," to almost everything I said. Not a match, but nice.
That's all I have right now. I agree with BA. This juggling the dates is crazy! I'm exhausted and glad to have one to kind of proceed with at this point. I did see his age range was from 38-50. He's going to get some sh&% about that when I see him again! ;-)
Going out for date #2 with Dave on Wednesday!
Yippee!
GG - glad that at least one out of your six isn't a frog and you have a second date set up. Yes these multiple dates are a bit crazy. I wish I had a bit more clarity on my end - unfortunately I've still got 3 women who are very interesting in their own way and I really want to get to know all three a bit better.
Match 1 (aka Drop Dead Gorgeous Jan) popped back into the picture last night as well. She called and said that she knew I had family in and just wanted to give me time to be with them without interruption. She wants to get together on Friday - so for now she is back in the picture. Going out with Romy on Thursday and she also wants to do something on Saturday as well - see where this is going - another date busy week, but hopefully the picture will become clearer.
For now all three of them are interested in me (one very much more than the other two) and I haven't required hospitalization due to date exhaustion.
Enjoy the ride GG and I'll see you at the finish line!
BA
BA & GG: awesome! See - the advice to date more than one was good as you both could compare & increase Your chances of finding a good match. GG - Dave sounds really good for you - so nice you've got Date 2 lined up.
BA - I watch Bachelorette (cheesy, I know) but it really shows the thought process & chemistry (or lack thereof) between individuals. Right now she has fallen for one of the guys who is clearly not as into her as she is into him. Classic. & often others can see it when we can't.
I know it's exhausting but it's good to keep your options open in the early days (before sleeping with them) - you really can't tell everything on a first date. But it does sound like you have good options. How nice - enjoy!
Barb
I know it's exhausting but it's good to keep your options open in the early days (before sleeping with them) - you really can't tell everything on a first date. But it does sound like you have good options. How nice - enjoy!
Barb
Barb - what happens if they all want to forgo their individual rooms and join me in the fantasy suite?
LOL BA,
But do we ever know what happens in the fantasy suite? :-)
I'm not putting all my golf balls in one hole...just yet. He's going to have to be the 'convincer' and I'm just planning on sitting back and watching. I do text back in a respectful amount of time with an appreciative and interested tone. No games for me, just being authentic. There are some other options and one guy who was at my college in Illinois the same time I was! Okay, that warrants a meeting just to share memories.
Have fun BA with little expectations. It's all a journey at this stage of the car race. See you with flags waving at the end of this all...
Thanks all for the wonderful comments and thoughts!
Being somewhat of a novice in the game, (compared to many of you), after speaking on the phone after emailing a couple of times, what would be considered a respectable time in returning a text? Just curious folks, thanks
Gunny I would say in the morning or before bed time. When she is closer to a bed. Maybe it's just me. Lol
Um, after you get it! I don't subscribe to the complications of waiting for this or that moment. If you want to reply then reply! Screw the head games, it just gets too silly.
Gunny,
I'd say after work and let her know you don't text at work. LOL. That at least keeps the expectations in check?
Rick, I personally see bedtime texting as... intimate? Maybe if he doesn't want to be that transparent right off the bat?
GG, I would totally get together with someone who was from VA for the same reasons. Go for it!
You and BA certainly do get the prize for being game to get out there and do all of this. I'm in awe.
Sweet Stuff came over last night to "hang out" with me and watch the baseball game. We were planning on going for a walk, but it was still too hot at 9 so we opted for being couch potatoes. It was fun. I really like watching baseball with a former pitcher. I always try to learn stuff on my own, and it's much better having the real inside scoop.
He's going to go to church with me on Saturday afternoon (he's Catholic too) and then we're going to the movies. He got a gig as a secret shopper with a movie chain, so we're going to get him started with that. He has a list of things that he has to notice and report, and we have to order popcorn and soda at the refreshment stand. He's not one for junk food, so someone has to take it for the home team... I happen to love theater popcorn with a nutritionally disastrous diet coke. He's letting me choose the movie, and I think we're going to see Man of Steel or Despicable Me 2. Not sure what mood I'll be in.
Then we'll probably go out for a late dinner or something.
I'm looking forward to it. This week is so busy that it's nice to have something to anticipate. D19 is working a bunch as well as dog/house sitting for a neighbor.
Speaking of D19, she wrote her close family members a really heart warming letter. She thanked us for our love and support and said she didn't want to go another day without telling us she loves us. My dad got choked up yesterday, and I'll admit that I had a tear in my eye too. Sometimes teenagers can be... surprising? And surprising in a great way? Just when you're sure they are the most self absorbed people on the planet, they go and let you know that they're really not.
I think I'll leave the fantasy suite to you guys. I was never one for Let's Make a Deal...
Betsey
BA: call me Old Fashioned or just plain health conscious but that would be a deal breaker for me. If the guy I was developing a relationship with was sleeping with someone else. Now way!
When Josh & I reached that point (& remember - we had met online) - I told him I would not sleep with him if there was a chance we were not monogamous. He assured me there was no one else.
Besides the obvious (stds, heart break etc) - you run the risk of losing all of them. Most people want to be in monogamous relationships. At least where I come from.
Anyway - this is the fun time. And the deal breakers will likely soon become apparent. Then you can enjoy that Fantasy Suite for all it's worth!
Barb
Barb - I agree with you. I was actually being a bit sarcastic and playing off of the Bachelorette/Bachelor show theme.
Personally, I will have whittled down my selection to one woman long before sexual initimacy takes place. I feel somewhat guilty just dating more than one person and can't imagine sleeping with more than one.
BA
Personally, I will have whittled down my selection to one woman long before sexual initimacy takes place. I feel somewhat guilty just dating more than one person and can't imagine sleeping with more than one.
BA
Hey, I thought this was all about pushing beyond your comfort zone...go all the way BA lol!
No Wii - you go first!
BA - I don't think it's wrong to be seeing more than one woman while you figure things out. You da man right now!
Barb
No Wii - you go first!
Barb
I would, Barb, but I'm presently dating stuffed animals. Don't wanna spread myself too thin.
Gunny,
I say you text back as soon as you can. For me, that's usually within the hour. No later than that.
I never got back to anyone too quickly. I didn't want to seem Too available. Within a 24 hour period was fine. Being a little "busy" gives a bit of mystery to your life in the getting to know you stage.
Barb
I would say don't try to play mind games. When would you answer a text from a friend? Do you think that through so much? I guess I am just saying we are all adults, don't we have enough drama without that too?
kat
But truthfully - in the early days when you are trying to figure out the other person - I seriously think if you respond too quickly or text too often you could be perceived as desperate, clingy, stalkiish or that you don't have a life.
Not suggesting you play games if you respond in reasonable order but not immediately - I think that's better.
Barb
Barb,
I agree!
Plus, not every employer is as congenial as I am... most of my friends work in environments where personal calls and texting are prohibited. Sweet Stuff honors that too, as he owns his own business. The only texts I usually get during work are appointment reminders or quick questions/news from my D19. My XH can't even bring his cell phone into his building, so he calls me if he needs something.
Speaking of work, I need to get back to things. I'm hopping!
TTFN,
Betsey
That's just it. Not everyone has their cel attached to them at all times. It is perfectly reasonable to reply when itis convenient for you.
I think part of the question was around when to call after a date (I think within 48 hrs is good) or when to call to book a date - I think more than 48 hours is polite.
JMHO
Batb
Going out with MG3 (Romy) this afternoon for wine tasting and then dinner tonight. Really looking forward to this date. I haven't seen her in more than a week, but she has maintained frequent contact with daily texts and a 3 or 4 phone calls. It helps that she is excited to get together again as well! Wish me luck!!
BA
BA,
Have a great time and please let us know how it goes!
I had second lunch date yesterday with Dave and it was nice. He's very mellow (next to my firecracker) so I'm not certain about that. He was manipulated pretty badly by an ex a couple of years ago and seems guarded. I'm out in NC for a wedding this weekend and he knows I get back Sunday night. He doesn't seem to want to move things along too speedily; no texts or calls and he didn't pin down a day for another date. Not sure what that's all about and I can't say I've ever really had that. Don't know what to think? I mean, I think our lunch went okay....
Personally, I think if a guy is interested he's going to text or call to keep you thinking about him...even just to say he had a nice time. So the guarded sense you got from him may be ambivalence to re-involvement. Many people date but aren't always that committed to finding a relationship...but, who really knows.
BA, how do you feel about her texting you daily and calling you three or four times in a week or so? It seems a little much to me but I'm not you!
GG: I think opposites not only attract but can really compliment each other. And everyone is different. Just give it time. See what happens next. Let him miss you while you're gone. There are no rules - you have enjoyed both dates - so that's awesome!
I hate the uncertainty in the early days but that also adds to the charm in a way too.
I hope it continues to go well. See how he proceeds
Barb
Well I survived date number 2 with Romy, barely... Holy Hannah did she make it well known how much she likes and is attracted to me! Sorry if the following is TMI...
It literally took all the resolve I could muster to keep date 2 from becoming a full contact body sport (and I don't mean football at all.) We hit a couple of wineries first and then I had to run by my house to let my two dogs out before we continued on to dinner. What was to be a quick 5 minute stop turned into a fairly lengthy makeout session. Yes she is a good kisser, yes she is in great shape from her head to her toes, and yes she made it clear she wanted more than just kissing.
I admit that part of me wanted that as well, but heck it was just the second date and I am still seeing other women. So I successfully put off "the deed" for at least until the next date.
Tonight I am meeting drop dead gorgeous Jan after work. I am looking forward to seeing her - not only is she easy on the eyes but I really like her wit and sense of humor. Oh and thank goodness Lucy is out of state right now although we did have a very nice dinner date before she left. Funny that when it comes to being affectionate she is the exact opposite from Romy and Jan is smack dab in the middle of both of them.
Wii - as for the texting and phone calls. I don't mind it. The texts are mainly first thing in the morning and before she goes to bed at night. She always texts to ask if we can talk as well and just doesn't call out of the blue.
BA
Agree totally with Gineen. Although most men would find it hard to resist - you have to ask yourself if sheiks like that with every guy she meets. Hard to take seriously. Jan & Lucy's behavior is a little more reserved & that's good. It takes time for a R to grow. So - you have to ask yourself if sex is all that Romy is after. How long might a R last?
Just something to think about
Barb
Hmm...I too agree with Gineen and Barb.
Too physical too soon = no relationship in the long run. Been there, done that and it doesn't work. There's plenty of time for that down the road.
I don't know if it's just sex that Romy is after. I'm wondering if she thinks being physical will push her up a rung or two on the ladder?
It's an interesting question Gineen. Granted us guys like a good chase and with Romy there is little chase to be had. For me it is too soon to determine if I will be bored with it as I am still trying to determine if there is R potential with her. There's obvious physical attraction for me and we have some similar likes/interests. Aside from one very brief fling many, many years ago, I have never really been one to just have sex with someone - it has almost exclusively happened in an R. However maybe that's a 180 I should make.
I think if there were not two other people I was currently dating this would be an easier situation to deal with as I would have less guilt and just enjoy some fun. If it evolved into an R then great and if it didn't then it would a "thanks for the memories."
I'm not convinced that it's just sex she is after as she seems genuinely interested in me. So with all that I have really no idea how this is going to end.
BA
Damn autocorrect indeed. My "sheiks" should have read "she acts" - its a wonder we can ever figure out what someone else is saying
Go easy. Rarely do people ever regret waiting a bit but often they regret not waiting. Especially when you are not exclusive. Like GG says - maybe she is pushing for exclusivity because sex often nails it. Take control of the situation & just enjoy the ride. Sex or no sex - I'm not good with people who push. In any way. I go with MY comfort level.
Barb
As I mentioned, Dave is taking things slowly...barely a kiss here or there and it's intriguing to me. The first guy (in a long time) who wants to see me on the inside first before getting physical.
It is interesting to read how females see sex when compared to man. Granted, my views on sex have changed with age. Having one night stands was the norm, at least for me and my circle of friends when younger. Today sex is important but not the priority. I have a heard of a 3rd date rule. That it is ok to have sex on the 3rd date. Gineen, I think that man do get bored if it takes tooooo long. A bit of chasing is fun and healthy.
Maybe I am not reading the above posts correctly, but I think that wanting/hoping for relationship right of the bat is a mistake. I think having fun, and yes nookie, is ok even if it doesn't go any where.
BA, I wouldn't have any feelings of guilt if you happen to sleep with all of them (not at the same time of course). You are adults consenting and having fun. I believe sex for many women would mark the start of a serious R. But I don't believe it is true for males. Just my 2cs.
"because sex often nails it"
Barb I like this^^^^^. I hope Wii can come up with some funnies from that one. lol
Yes Rick - Wii could have picnic with that one! LOL
Have to disagree with you about having sex with more than one person - too many problems with that.
But I'm a girl!
Barb
i'm with rick. nothing wrong with it. i personally do not think that sex to soon screws up relationships.. and i get super bored if a woman plays some long drawn out game with it. sex to me isnt a very big deal. it is fun and a must have for me, but the importance that others place on it just isn't there. its just sex. i wouldnt have cared as much if my XW just had a PA. it was the EA i had problems with.
dating is supposed to be fun and sex can be part of that. dont take things too serious. maybe her love language is physical touch.. who knows? i dont think there needs to be all these "rules"because every situation is different. trust in your instincts then you wont be disappointed.
something to think about... what happens if you go on dates with someone for 3-6 dates before sex? that could end up being a month to month and a half for some of us. there is txts and calls in between. an emotional connection is established. then you "do the deed"(lol..BA i cracked up at that) and it is horrible? not enjoyable. then what? just curious what others think..
Clay
I'm a guy and I honestly think that sex too early on in a relationship can be a relationship killer. In my experience, it can become the relationship. I also wonder when a woman is all over you so quickly whether it's you she's really into or some fantasy relationship she's got in her head...and that can change real fast. I also think that women have a different concept of what sex is, not all but more than a few. Sex for fun separates the relationship from the act. You can have "fun" with anybody. I think women want it to mean a little more than that. Again, not all of them but...I also think women may be a little more fussy about it because THEY CAN GET PREGNANT, men can't. So those are my thoughts...and I hope my meanderings nailed something for you folks.
I thought that after being married for 19 years that sex would be just that with someone new. However, I found that I haven't changed...I want it to me something besides a roll in the hay or FWB. So won't be happening until I know that I am in a mutually exclusive relationship.
Just my .02 for what it is worth.
kat
That should have been "mean" something.
kat
Wow, just the mention of meaningful sex has brought this thread to a complete halt lol!
Wii,
Really?! Ya think so? I thought it would have been your "flexible fingers" comment that had the power to bring this whole thread down to the gutter!
Or, maybe we're just all trying it out or seeing for ourselves if the 'rumor' is true!
Okay so at least this weekend's dates provided a bit more clarity for me and the field is being narrowed down a bit. I had my 3rd date with MG1 on Friday and honestly it felt like we had slipped backwards instead of moving forward. For me the date felt more awkward than even a first date. She texted me afterwards saying she had a nice and relaxed time with me, but I seriously felt like there was no chemistry. Based on our discussion it seems like she has a bit of an abrasive personality. She mentioned that she had been grumpy at work all week because they moved her from one office space to another and she was no longer near her hand-picked cubicle mate who is one of the few people who do not irritate her. She also managed to irritate our waitress with what I thought was a semi-rude attitude - a red flag for me. So based on those two things I don't think she necessarily plays well with others.
On Saturday I had a 3rd date with MG3 and it was the exact opposite. She is affectionate and openly (freely I should say) lets me know how attracted she is to me. I am attracted to her as well - I mean she is a really attractive woman. We had a really fun time. I think my only concern is if there is substance for me beyond the physical attraction. That will take more dates.
MG2 returned from her trip on Sunday but we probably won't have a chance to get together until sometime next week as I am going out of town late this week and her schedule is booked up early on.
So that's it from the BA dating chronicles.
BA
So you are now down to 2 or 3? So many to keep track of!
kat
I get busy and you guys move quickly!
She also managed to irritate our waitress with what I thought was a semi-rude attitude - a red flag for me. So based on those two things I don't think she necessarily plays well with others.
BA, you are very observant, and it is wise to take this evening into consideration. I was a waitress (okay, they don't have that gender specific moniker these days) way back when, and I learned that people show their true colors when people wait on them. For some reason, there are some people that love looking down on folks that serve them. I wouldn't want to continue on with someone who does that either.
Anyway, I kind of don't like MG#1's attitude. Plug on?
This is quick because I am crazy, crazy a$$ busy at work. Plus things are going haywire at home too - my landscaper can't start for a couple of weeks and my HOA is on my butt to address my crappy weeds (what part of a couple weeks can't they seem to appreciate?), so I've had to constantly pull weeds on top of trying to get work done. I feel like I'm playing whack-a-mole constantly.
Then my SUV (which D19 has been driving all summer) seemed to blow the water pump last night. It's been a good car and has almost 100K miles, so I'm getting it completely serviced today. But D19 works tonight and we have transportation issues, which I still need to figure out.
Oh well.
Had a really good weekend. Sweet Stuff and I went to church Saturday, out for drinks and an appetizer, and then on to see White House Down Saturday night. It was his first gig as the secret shopper. The theatre was very busy and packed, and we had a lot of stuff to log for his report. He actually has to track the trailers and their order, so I was the secretary who saved them to my phone. We had fun. Plus I really love Jamie Foxx and Channing Tatum. Who could object to that?
He's really nice to bartenders and wait staff, so he gets a thumbs up there. One thing he isn't is snobby or crabby.
He's coming over tonight to take a walk (weather willing - we are in a little monsoon weather pattern in late afternoon and early evening) and watch the Home Run Derby on ESPN. Have I said how much I really enjoy... no, love... watching baseball with a former player? He tells me all the technical stuff, and although he's a homer rooter for his Cubs, he is enough of a competitor to appreciate players around the league. I like that in an athlete. He's been starting to run again and is getting in good shape. I'm definitely going to follow suit here shortly. I just need to dump the issues that seem to crop up so I can prioritize that kind of thing. But getting a ride home tonight if my car isn't ready will have to be #1.
He said he'd like to start going to church again, and asked if I wouldn't mind if he joined me. That's pretty nice. He seemed to enjoy our pastor and his homily, and I'm glad - because I love our pastor too. SS seemed genuinely amused at how many blue haired friends I have, and how happy they were to see me and hug me. Since he's a fan favorite with the geriatric crowd himself, he had quite a laugh about that. It's true. Plus, I think he liked them more since all of them asked where D16 was. These folks truly love my special needs kiddo.
Anyhoo, back to stuff here. Hope ya'll have a great week! Carry on with your dating shenanigans.
Betsey
Being mean to wait staff would be a deal breaker for me. Reminds me of my ex. Often people with low self esteem feel they can somehow make themselves look more important if they are rude to the people who are serving them. NOT OK ever! Nope. Nada. No grumpy people around me thanks!
Can you call them by name BA? I forget which one Romy is. I figured you'd start to get clarity here. It is easy when you have more than one to compare.
Betsey- things are good with S S. did I miss something? I thought he had left. But I, happy for you that he is there & you are enjoying his company
Barb
@Kat - I'm down to two now
@Betsey - I agree with you, I'm not keen on her attitude either. Sorry about the "old school" terminology with waitress, hope I didn't offend anyone.
@ Barb - here are the names
MG1 - Jan (not a successful showing on Friday)
MG2 - Lucy (out of state until late last night)
MG3 - Romy
MG4 - Amanda who is long since gone.
BA (since I'm naming them - aka: Dave)
BA,
I still like calling you BA. 'Cause you really are a Bad A$$!
Hell, no, you didn't offend me. I still think of them as waiters and waitresses. My D19 works at Maggiano's, which is how I know they are now called wait staff or servers. I've never been one to enforce political correctness that's not offensive. So none taken here.
I thought you had a potential MG#5 too? LOL, I'm starting to think you aren't crazy for posting so we can keep all of them straight. What a damn stud you are...
Betsey (it really IS my name in real life)
Barb,
It's a deal breaker for me too. Heck, I'm nice to my garbage guy. He's a real person with real feelings and a family - just like me.
Barb, this thread apparently moves F-A-S-T! Yep, you missed my post about the update with Sweet Stuff the weekend after the 4th. I might have posted a week ago today? The end game is that his sons told him they want him to stay here so that they can see him - although they do know that their mom forbids them to contact him, they are more committed to using the car to come see their dad. His S19 is in the army and away, but his S17 & S16 pinky promised him they will do whatever is necessary to see him when they can. He said he's committed to them too. And he's working on getting the restraining order dropped to get back his dignity on that front.
And yes, I really do like him and have fun with him. I'm glad it worked out for now. He and Mr. Wonderful were officially introduced yesterday. My ex has had 2 conversations with me since, and a texting session too, and hasn't asked one question. LOL.
So that's the scoop here. We're in the beginning of one massive T-storm so I'll hit submit in case I lose power.
TTFN-
Betsey
Hey Betsey,
Well since you put it that way - BA it is!
Glad I didn't offend. I am a huge believer of treating everyone the same regardless of what they do or don't do in life. I felt very uncomfortable on Friday when Jan was short with the server. The thing is I don't even think she had a clue that she was rude. In hindsight I was wrong in not calling her on it. It's not an attitude I want to be around so I won't be going out with her again.
There was a MG5 (Cherie) however with 4 already in the works I just felt that was enough so I decided not to pursue her interest.
I think sooner rather than later that there will hopefully just be one, I just want to make sure it's the right one!
BA
Bets, I'm wondering how you are handling Mr. Wonderful while dating Sweet Stuff? I mean, you DO have a R with both of them although they are of different levels. Ya know what I'm sayin'? Did you find it awkward to introduce SS to Mr. Wonderful?
Wonka,
That sounds nice and sordid LOL! No, it wasn't hard at all. In fact, it was something I was hoping I could do sooner or later. Why, you ask?
He had his GF for a little more than 2 years, and he never introduced her to me. His former GF also didn't introduce herself to me. So after a long period of time, after she showed up to D19's volleyball tournaments (her daughter also plays), I introduced myself. It just bugged me, you know? So I was kind of gleeful to make the introduction. It went great!
If you haven't figured out by now, I'm always the one who yells out, "the emporer is naked!"
Cheerio-
Betsey
Oh, I'm always so excited for updates! Sounds promising, BA...nice work!
T-2 days and I'm done with match.com. I bought a $15 Living Social deal and made the promise to myself to only do one month. Online dating tends to make me anxious and frustrated. This time, due to the nature of my profile, I think I successfully weeded out the 'creepers' and 'players,' Now that I'm no longer the "new girl," the contacts have drastically dropped off. It's been the same old, same old, in my opinion. I do like the Dave guy and he texted me yesterday at 1 in the afternoon after he knew I would return late Sunday night. But, that's been it. One text and I responded appreciatively, but he did not text back. We'll see....
I have a golf game to perfect!
The rest of the summer is for me and we'll see what happens before football season starts up again. This will be my third year coaching and I think I successfully recruited a couple of girls to play on my team this year....can't wait to see how that plays out!
Betsy,
How's next weekend look for you? We can meet up at a driving range somewhere between us??
GG,
I've got D16 this weekend and we're going to go see the baseball game vs. the Cubs with Sweet Stuff this weekend.
But the weekend of the 26th I'm free. Want to do that?
Good for you on the coaching! I love hearing stories like yours. They rock!
Betsey
Betsey,
YES! Let's plan on hitting some balls on one of those days and maybe an "Arnold Palmer" or similar beverage after?
Maybe one of the Denver city courses might be halfway?
Lynn
Lynn,
I'm putting you down for the 27th. Since you know the public courses where we can head to the 19th hole, what's your pleasure?
TTYS-
Betsey
BA,
P.S. Does going out with Lynn mean I can move into your league now? I promise I won't be having sex with her on our first date, though. I learned from that.
BA,
P.S. Does going out with Lynn mean I can move into your league now? I promise I won't be having sex with her on our first date, though. I learned from that.
Consider yourself promoted up to the majors! I think it's a win-win as both of you sound like fine catches to me!!
I've got another date with Romy tonight. She's let me know that she is pretty darn (self-censored) excited about it and I'm looking forward to seeing her again as well!
BA