The thread continues... - DivorceBusting.com

Hey, my thread got locked on my birthday! Here's my new thread. Last night I went to my book group and tomorrow SDA Lady and I are going mini-golfing. Should be fun.

wii, you dog you, whoohoo, congrats, and happy bday!!! ... when you describe her as SDA, is that for seventh-day adventist?.. .I don't come here that often so I don't know the history of your beau

Yes Cat, she's a seventh-day adventist! She watches me eat pork and shellfish lol. She's 43, Filipino and works as a live in caregiver. She's been in Canada four years and before that worked in Hong Kong for nine years. Previously, in the Philippines, she was a nurse. She makes more money as a caregiver here than as a nurse in Manila. She has a 20 year old daughter back home who she has put through college on her own. I met her online, her best friend put her on the dating site and telling her "you've been here four years, it's time for you to find a man!" and she found me or actually I found her! We've been seeing each other about two months now and we're having a wonderful time together. She's the sweetest lady, I feel very lucky...as does she

Hit hard by this damn cold again! I starting coughing badly yesterday and went to see Dr. in the morning, he gave me new anti-biotics and cough medicine. Tried to bs my way past SDA Lady last night saying I was OK for our mini-golf outing today. She didn't buy it. We left it that I would see how I felt in the morning and call her then. I went to bed at 9:30 pm and slept through the night. Yet I still felt like crap this morning so I backed out. I'm so damn frustrated with this cold/virus/black death. SDA Lady was understanding and caring. She was planning to have a quick lunch with her best friend, who just returned from Taiwan yesterday and a Doctor's appointment before meeting me. So her friend stayed with her, and at last text, is asleep beside her in the doctor's office. Mini-golf will be next weekend!
Yesterday I ran into ex at the doctor's office, she's apparently there getting anti-depressants. She's not doing so well, can't sleep. Her job is becoming more and more stressful (I have a friend, who was also a manager at ex's agency, who left for similar reasons...and was on AD's too). So she picked up the girls today and within a few minutes of being in my apartment got into two scraps with the girls. Wow, fun week ahead for them...NOT. She badgers and the girls provoke, a lovely combo indeed.
So, today I rest. It made no sense to push myself to spend the day with SDA Lady and get sicker because of it. She agreed completely.

So sorry you are sick again and missed your birthday date. Boo Hoo! But you wouldn't want to give the bug to SDA lady on her only day off either. That would be bad.

So what is up with your immune system? Seems you are frequently ill. Those endorphins should be helping (unless you're not sleeping enough). Bump up your vitamin C and eat properly. Lots of veggies and get your protein. (echoing my daughter here).

Enjoy your "Me Day" - you need it.

And I'm sure it is distressing to see your ex and the girls getting into it but trust me - it is SO normal. My D and I have always been close but we fought like cats n dogs while she grew up. Still do on occasion but I mostly bite my tongue since we're not together so much anymore and I sure miss her.

Take care and get better.

Barb

Thanks Barb. As far as sickness I'm not alone, this winter has been so mild that the viruses are living on forever. I meet all sorts of people who have been sick for one to two months! Bring on spring!
Well, I did end up having dinner with SDA Lady. She called me after her doctor's appointment and apparently there is a lump in her breast and she's being sent for an ultra sound. Doctor believes it's a cyst but...it's anxiety provoking. I told SDA Lady that I was going to come down and take her out for dinner and we could talk. Of course, she told me NO "You're sick, you need to stay home and rest. It's too cold blah blah blah. She said "I know you're concerned about me and just knowing that helps me feel better so stay home!" I hung up and decided to hell with it, I'm going. So I drove down to her place, phoned her and told her I was sitting outside her home and was going tyo take her to dinner. I could tell by her voice she was so happy that I was there. She came out and we sat in the car, held hands and talked about how she was feeling etc. I said "I know you said not to come but I'm not letting you sit alone in the basement tonight, you're going to be with me!" We then went out for dinner and had a lovely time together. I promised to take my meds and go to bed early tonight. Her question of the evening was "what's the difference between a squirrel and a chipmunk?" Hm, one's smaller, I guess ???

Wii,

You do seem to get sick a lot and have problems recovering. Have you had your immune system tested? I had IGG subclass 2 and 4 deficiencies which led to incredibly frequent sinus infections/bronchitis. These were treated with a couple of Pneumovax boosters. Since then, my sinus infection/bronchitis rate PLUMMETED. I wish they had tested me in grade school, or high school, or in my 20s, or 30s... But nooooooo. Anyway, it really is worth getting checked and easy treatments can yield huge rewards.

My illnesses tend to be upper respitory in nature. I seem to be prone to Bronchitis, which I don't presently have. I got a Pneumonia shot once when I had diabetes, apparently it's paid for by the govt if you have diabetes, which I don't anymore. Thanks for the tip, OT. I will keep it in mind. Personally, I've always found I'm less prone to illness when my exercise level is up...which it hasn't been for a while, that may be the simplest cure yet!
Btw, SDA Lady is getting an ultra-sound done tomorrow for the lump on her breast. Pls everyone keep her in your prayers. Thanks.

"My illnesses tend to be upper respitory in nature. I seem to be prone to Bronchitis, which I don't presently have. "

If this is a lifelong thing in which you get a bug and then can't shake it for months (even with steroids, multiple different antibiotics, etc...), I'd put BIG money on the subclass 2 and 4 deficiencies. This is EXACTLY the problem they cause.

It was my allergist aka IMMUNOLOGIST that finally tested me after lifelong problems.

Originally Posted By: gabbysmom23

Good luck to SDA lady. My friend has been getting cysts forever, she gets an U/S done every time, it's always benign, thank God. Hopefully this will just put her to ease.

Thanks G. Doctor believes it's a cyst as does SDA Lady but there's always that "what if" anxiety. Her sister has a cyst in the breast too which is benign. SDA Lady also had a cyst in her back which had to be removed. She says it hurts when the doctor presses on it which is a sign of a cyst rather than cancer, so SDA Lady tells me. So yes, it's best she's getting the U/S tomorrow and hopefully that will put some of the anxiety to rest. She just went through getting tests done on her heart, which turned out fine, so she's had her share of medical anxiety lately.

neato wii, she sounds like a good person, I'm happy for you! hope you feel better.. cut down on sugars and coffee while you are sick.

So what was the birthday surprise? Never heard.
Hope test results are good & you are feeling better
Barb

Originally Posted By: SunFunOne

So what was the birthday surprise? Never heard.

Me either! I spent my bd at my book group. On Sunday SDA lady wasn't expecting me so she hadn't wrapped my present or signed my card yet. Anyway, we talked last night and she actually told me that on Sunday, after getting the news about the lump in her breast, she really did want to be alone! She appreciated that I cared and came to be with her but really needed time to herself to process the news. I said I understood and in future would respect that "just say I need some time alone" She said "in future I will" I felt really good that she was able to actually say that to me. That's how you build a good R! We communicated about needs. I told her that I just didn't want her to be alone and went with it. She said "my BF says that I am so lucky because it shows how much you care...and I do feel lucky" Anyway, SDA Lady went to her U/S appointment today and will get her results in three days. Prayers and good thoughts are still appreciated

Btw Kml, when the "I'm fat" issue came up Sunday night after dinner I used your suggestion "I think you're perfect just the way you are" and that shut her right up! Good thinking

How can anyone at 115 thing they are fat??? I was 115 when I got married - have not been close to that since. Now I feel really fat! UGH

Barb

Originally Posted By: SunFunOne

How can anyone at 115 thing they are fat??? I was 115 when I got married - have not been close to that since. Now I feel really fat! UGH

Barb

Barb, you're perfect just the way you are!
Btw, last night she was telling me she's looking for an ESL class because her English is poor. I told her that her English was just fine and she said "you're just very patient with me" Uh, no your English is fine! I have yet to meet an Asian who believes their English is OK. Maybe it's the culture, if it's not perfect than it's not OK, I dunno. She wants to return to school and is not confident about her English skills, so I said that if taking a course helps her to increase her confidence than go for it! Unfortunately, it seems that if she wants to enroll in a school board course she has to be a Permanent Resident...and she's not yet.

Uh, thanks Wii - you're perfect too! (Now - does that make you FEEL perfect?)

So what does she have to do to become a Permanent Resident??? Marry a Canadian??? Does she want that? or does she plan to return to the Phillipines in time?

I never heard of such a rule. We get foreign students in our schools all the time. Just don't get that one.

Barb

Barb, she's planning to stay here. She's applied for her Permanent Resident Status but because she is also applying to sponsor her daughter to come to Canada it can take years! I've heard the same story from other ladies too that sponsorship slows things up big time. In May it will be two years. As far as ESL, I told her there many churches that have ESL classes for free. We'll see.

Hey btw, she's 116 lbs... a blimp lol.

Wii,

That's great that she plans to stay and also that her daughter is coming over. I think it is great that she wants to get more education but I am sure there are lots of options for it as you told her.

Oh yeah - and extra lb? Yep - she's on her way to Blimp!

Barb

Barb, she plans to go to a pharma...something or other technology school so she can use some of her nursing knowledge towards a new career. Again, she has to have her Permanent Status before she can go there. It's a private college that's actually about 10 minutes from where I live. She just wants to do ESL to bone up on her spoken and written English while she waits.

G, she's not looking to become a Pharmacist. This is a course to work in the Pharmaceutical industry, I believe it's a one year course but I could be wrong. I think she wants to operate her own grow op lol!

Here in the states, a pharmacy technician (the person you talk to at the counter at the drugstore - the one that calls the actual pharmacist over to explain your side effects) has a relatively short amount of training, kind of like a medical assistant I believe. That's probably equivalent to what she's talking about doing.

Actually, the program is called Pharmaceutical Manufacturing Technology. She wants to make drugs!

But not get arrested doing it!!

Maybe she'll learn to make Viagra and we can do it on a date...I mean make the Viagra, of course!

Today SDA Lady and I went for glow in the dark mini-golf in the afternoon and a stir fry restaurant for dinner. SDA Lady had never done mini-golf before and was jumping up and down and squealing like a kid, it was fun indeed! Mmm, I had a squid stir fry. We also went to see the 2.5 million dollar house that her employer has just purchased and SDA Lady will be moving to soon...living in the basement, of course. Next week we attempt bowling. After I dropped her off I went to visit my mother. Full day, not to mention church in the a.m. also.

Sounds like fun!

We also stopped into a mall and as we are walking we come across this seating area with nice comfy chairs and couches. At both ends of one couch there are two guys asleep, both with mouths wide open. It was too funny. I had my camera and I said to SDA lady "I gotta get a picture of this" and she started laughing and telling me why I shouldn't do it. We went into a store and when we came out she was talking clothes and I said "I can't talk to you about this, I'm thinking about how to get that picture. Here you stand behind the couch and I'll take a picture of you and if those guys happen to be in it, well, what can you do" Again she started laughing and refusing to take part in my plan. Never did get my picture. Today she texted me "This morning I can't stop smiling thinking of you wanting to take pictures of people sleeping at the mall" I texted "I still have my camera, so I'm ready for any opportunity that comes my way" and she replied "and I hope I'm always at your side...to stop you!"

How sweet! You should have taken the picture anyway! What a riot!

Originally Posted By: mishka422

How sweet! You should have taken the picture anyway! What a riot!

Well, we kept walking and there was another seating area further down and lo and behold before my eyes was a lady, sitting and clutching two bags in each hand...and sound asleep, mouth wide open too! SDA Lady looks at me and says "don't even think about it!". I said "I'm coming back to this mall without you and I'm gonna get these shots" It could have been Facebook heaven!

SDA Lady and I were talking tonight about the differences between male and female children. She said "I think your girls are so affectionate because of their Daddy" I said "really?" she replied "Yes, you're different than most men. You like to touch, hug and hold hands. You're very affectionate and that's one of the things I really like about you" Wow, that's so nice to hear.

Good news: SDA Lady hasn't heard from her doctor re the ultra sound results on her breast. No news is good news.
Bad news: She's 117 lbs now...the world is ending!!!

Zounds! You and SDA are so funny together. And so adorable.

I wish I was 187lbs, never mind 117. Sigh!

Thanks Being Me, there does seem to be something very nice happening between us. We really like each other! Last night she was crying on the phone. She'd worked 12 hours, hadn't had dinner and her employer asked her to put the kids to bed. This means another two hours of work for her as the kids need bathed and need story telling etc. Normally, this is not her job except on Saturday evenings. She was tired and hungry and just broke down in tears with me. Finally she asked to call me back, I told her to go ahead and have her cry...it was OK. She called me about 11:00pm and told me she was feeling better but her pillow was soaked with tears. We talked and she said "I'm so lucky to have you" She said "tomorrow is a brand new day". I texted her this morning "here are some hugs and kisses for your breakfast...no need to add milk, they are mushy enough already lol!". She replied "thx for the h & k's, I want the real ones now :)" Another day begins. I also texted my kids this morning just to tell them how much I love them. Yes, love is in the air lol!

Originally Posted By: gabbysmom23

So, you're in love?

Sounds like she is asking for the kiss.....

Am I in love? No. Warm feelings do not mean love. One day maybe, we'll see. But I am in love with my kids!

That is sweet what she said.

But her employers sound like Slave Drivers - that is ridiculous! We have labour laws in Canada.

I'm glad you don't think you are "in Love" yet. It does take time to sort out the feelings. It is so hard not to "Fall" when we have been without that kind of love for so long. But important to know the difference.

I'm glad it continues to go well for both of you. Taking things slowly is good but I think you are both more than ready for a kiss.

Barb

Originally Posted By: gabbysmom23

Curious question, are her employers Philippinos?

Nope.

...and yes Barb, she can say the sweetest things indeed. She makes me feel cared about and valued. On the weekend I was telling her that my apartment was an oven at 78 degrees F. She asked what I was cooking and I replied "me" She said "Mmm, sounds tasty. Can I have a piece?" Yes, she can flirt lol!

Btw Barb, here are the labour laws as applied to foreign live-in care givers:

"Generally, you cannot be required to work more than 8 hours a day or your regular daily work schedule (if more than 8 hours). For you to work more than the daily limit, your employer must have your written agreement.

Generally, you cannot be required to work more than 48 hours a week. For you to work more than 48 hours in a week, your employer must have your written agreement and an approval from the Ministry of Labour."

SDA Lady works 78 hours per week. Each caregiver signs a contract outlining the expected and agreed upon hours of work. Women coming directly from overseas e.g. Philippines will agree to pretty much anything to get into the country. After their 2 year caregiver contract is over they quit and find better employment because they have open work permits by then. My guess is that the employer just tells the ministry of labour that the employee has off time during the day when the kids are napping or some such nonsense. It isn't an easy life for these ladies but Mom living this life is what put SDA Lady's daughter through college in the Philippines. She worked previously in Hong Kong for nine years and the norm there, and here, is six days of work per week. Fun stuff...oh, and I read that the money these lady's send home makes up 10% of the Philippines GDP, accounts for 75% of big ticket items sold and gives the country lots of foreign currency. The government encourages ladies to work overseas. Nice, eh.

Hooray! I just bought Raptor tickets for SDA Lady and I for Sunday April 1. They cost me $12.50 each. She loves basketball and will be thrilled when I tell her. I tried to get tickets once before and the only seats left were in the hundreds of dollars so forget that! We're also going to the Blue Jays game on Sunday April 15. We're such jocks!

Wow - that's a good price! My son used to do the audio for the Raptors & the Leafs at the ACC. He was just filling in for someone who was off for a while but he would sure love to get in there full time. Enjoy celebrating MY anniversary! Yes - April Fool's Day will be the 8th anniversary of my first date with Josh!

2 sporting events in one week? Whose idea? Are you going to the National Ballet after that - you know - in fairness?

Barb

Wow - April 1 is coming up fast. Bet we don't even have plans. But I do know this - I will be HOME by then!

Barb

Originally Posted By: SunFunOne

2 sporting events in one week? Whose idea? Are you going to the National Ballet after that - you know - in fairness?

Barb

Hey, what's wonderful about this is SHE likes basketball and baseball. It doesn't get much better for a guy than that lol!
She called me tonight and she is sick. Now she's got a cold, slight fever and cough. Her employer asked her if she was alright and she said "NO, I'm not alright. I'm exhausted." Employer asked her why and she actually said "I worked 14 hours yesterday, I'm 43 years old and I can't work like this anymore. My spirit wants to but my body doesn't" Wow, that is an amazing thing for an Asian lady to say to her employer. She even said tonight that if she's still feeling unwell tomorrow she's gonna...wait for it...take the day off! She usually works right through being sick. The Asian mind set around work is just boggling. You don't speak up to your employer for ANY reason and you work no matter what. I told her I'm proud of her for speaking up and saying what she felt. She said her employer was kind of stunned and didn't know what to say. Her friends are telling her to leave but she wants to stay until her friend comes from HK to take her place. She's afraid if she leaves her employer will hire within the country and her friend will not have a job to come to. This friend helped her when she went to HK to work so she feels she must help her now. So she's sticking it out. She could get a care giver job with less hours and more money pretty easily, as there is a shortage of caregivers in Canada at the moment. but she's staying for her friend. Anyway, that's my update. Tomorrow night I'm taking my girls out to dinner at the Persian restaurant ex gave me a voucher for. I figure I might as well spend her money on our girls and not just on my dates lol. It should be fun.

Two of my nieces came to Canada on caregiver visas. The one got a fantastic family, who actually paid for her nursing fees when she left. The other had two families who took her for granted so much, that she has little respect for a certain type of the population in Canada (the people who can afford live-in nannies). She was a nanny in England for a long time, and she was very well looked after. She was never asked to work just because the mom didn't feel like putting her own kids to bed. And she always went on holidays with them, and was still given her time off, so she could explore.

If there's a shortage of caregivers in Canada, it would be very unlikely for them to fire her for demanding her rights.

Well, good for her for sticking up for herself. I can picture the employer - it is beyond me how some people can actually be parents yet never take care of their own children. Reminds me of "The Help".

Nice for you that she likes sports. I did the opposite. I don't like going to sporting events or watching them on tv so after being raised in a family where the guys took over the tv for hockey - I found a guy who didn't care about watching or going to sporting events. We all do what we have to do.

Wow - how many restaurant vouchers did your ex give you for Christmas? Last gift I got was 9 years ago and it was a jar of kumquats. Whatever they're for. It was obvious that maggot picked it out. UGH! Mostly I got a kick in the teeth.

Barb

Well, I knew it! She went to work today "but I can rest in the afternoon after the kids leave for tennis camp" I responded "take a long rest. Make SDA Lady #1 priority for the rest of the day OK!" Damn that Asian work ethic

Originally Posted By: whatisis

Well, I knew it! She went to work today "but I can rest in the afternoon after the kids leave for tennis camp" I responded "take a long rest. Make SDA Lady #1 priority for the rest of the day OK!" Damn that Asian work ethic

She just responded to my text, she wrote "Thank you for caring about me. I'm so lucky to know you. Have a great day!" What a sweetie.

just got a text "I am sooooo sick...and I miss U!" Hm, feeling really bad reminds her of me...is that good lol?

I took my girls out for dinner last night at the Persian restaurant. We had a nice evening together and they left stuffed...thanks mostly to their mother's money lol! I brought my camera to record the event. D18 says "you shouldn't be allowed to have a camera!" she mentioned "I tell my friends about the pictures you take with that thing and they think you're so cool but I tell them 'no he's not' " I replied "Wasn't it you the other evening who said that if people did useful things with their time there would be no art?" she said "OMG, you think taking pictures of people sleeping at the mall is art!" Artists are so misunderstood.

You should blow up the pictures and put them on the wall. then she will see you as the artist that we know you to be.

kat

OOOOOOOHHHHH!!!! I love kat's idea!!!!

Good idea. I'll do a photomontage of Frogger doing my housework, one of my finest artistic moments! Last night SDA Lady and I were attempting to exchange photos of our adventures together. After attempting a number of fruitless methods we ended up sending emails with attachments, which takes forever. We are perfect for each other, total techno peasants lol! She was laughing at the pictures and said "We have so much fun being together" I agreed. This weekend we planned to go to an outlet mall and go bowling but I don't think she'll be up to it. Maybe I'll suggest we go to my place, watch a nice movie and when she falls asleep I'll take advantage of her...by switching to an action flick and filling my face with Doritos!

OK,I've tried to be lenient with these rich pricks but I've reached my limit! SDA Lady is really sick, she's got a fever and can hardly talk. Tonight her employers come home, she tells them she's really sick and needs time off so what do they do, go out to dinner and leave her with the kids...OMFG! Tomorrow morning I'm driving her to the doctor's. How can people be such SOB's...friggin' unbelievable! But she was offered a single Advil to help her through the night...not a couple, a single Advil. AAAARGH!

Holy crap!!!!! These people have no heart whatsoever. The person charged with caring for your children is family. They should he treated with care.

I hope she gets better soon.

Yeah, it boggles my mind too! This lady will go above and beyond for you and this is what she gets in return? Wow. She's just furniture. Anyway, I just returned from taking SDA Lady to the walk in clinic. It was packed, they were sitting out in the hallway! If you weren't sick going in you sure would be coming out. The hacking was like a symphony...a bad one. But it was nice to see two other guys there holding their sick ladies and stroking their hair too. Affection is always so nice to see...and do

So, Dr. gave SDA Lady anti-biotics and codeine cough medicine, despite the sign that says "we do not prescribe narcotics" Dr. also told her that her U/S on the breast showed everything was fine. She also had to book a pap smear. SDA Lady turns to me in the hall and says "why do I need to have a pap smear if I'm not active" and I replied "hey, don't blame me for your inactivity!" She laughed. Afterwards, I took her to buy a few groceries for her dinner tonight. We them went out to a noodle place for lunch...she paid. Just as we were finished lunch ex calls and informs me that I'm supposed to drop off the children today as she did it last week. I said that was fine, I'd thought I'd dropped them the previous week but I'd be home soon and bring them over. SDA Lady said "just do it, don't bother arguing with her" So when I arrived with the kids I laid out the case for my defense...as pointless as it was. Finally, after she argued that I was wrong (despite D14 saying I had picked them up) I just said "hey look, it really doesn't matter, let's just mark our calenders so we don't have this confusion again" Voldy agreed. But, I did pick up the kids last week, so there!!!!
So that's my day so far.

Don't answer your cel phone from your ex on a date. Simple. She is trying to control you. She KNOWS you are out on a date and she insists on making her presence known.

Sorry that another date has been ruined by illness. I hope Spring bring both you and SDA lady better health. At least all the scares have turned out to be nothing and hopefully the Pap will be the same. Getting up close and personal at the walk in clinic is a different way to date these days I guess.

The employers sound like insensitive jerks. Slavery went out years ago I thought. Tell SDA lady to buy them a copy of "The Help" for their anniversary. Just a thought.

Barb

LOL. Good one Barb!

Good point about Voldy, Barb. Actually, SDA Lady asked me later "why can't she just go and get them? She lives a few blocks away!" I explained that Voldy is rather rigid, if that was me I'd have volunteered to go and and get them...no problem. I also don't have call display or voice mail so when my cell rings I answer thinking it may be the kids. If Voldy gets out of hand I will just sit her down and lay down the law, there is no contacting me on Sunday's unless it's an emergency and that's that. She knows that I'm responsible and would never just shaft her with my responsibilities. She was just being a bitch! But, in actuality, SDA Lady and I were finished for the day and I was just about to drive her home to rest and take her meds. If we did have plans I would have asked Voldy to take care of it and, depending on her mood, she would either do it willingly or rip a strip off me...one never knows which lol!
As far as SDA Lady's employers, I did tell her on the phone later that I was very angry with them last night for treating her the way they did. I said "they've got a very special Nanny and they should treat you that way" She said "they can get a new Nanny anywhere" and I replied "Yeah, but not every Nanny is going to be as caring and responsible as you are, they don't seem to realize what a treasure they've got!" I went on for a bit longer and then ended my tirade lol. I said "OK, I'm done. It's not my place to complain about your employers, that's your job. I just hate seeing you treated like that" She'd called me when I got home... just cuz she missed me already. She suggested that I come pick her up and we'll go running in the park lol.

Maybe she should just present them with a chocolate fudge pie. She could give them the help as her notice.

Does she really want her friend to work for these people? There have to nicer people out there.

Kat

Caller Id and vm are $10 more per month extra. As for her employers, they were very good about the U/S and drove her for the test and stayed with her but with this they are complete jerks! Yeah, I can't fathom why they would want their kids spending time with someone who is obviously ill just to go out for dinner...too weird! As for her friend, the issue is that to come to this country her friend has already put out money to come by paying the agency etc. There are costs involved so to suddenly cut her out now means she's out her stake money and has no employment in Canada...not nice to do to her. She'll do her time with the family and move on when her open work permit is obtained. It is what it is.
Btw G, she was being funny re the "active" comment, later she mentioned to me that they also look for ovarian cancer etc. She just doesn't want to do it next week, it can wait a few weeks.

Yes Kat - I think a chocolate pie is in order. Makes my lips smack. Actually I just finished watching The Help again tonight with my dad and his lady friend. Suddenly I'm no longer hungry...

I had no idea you had to pay extra for caller ID. It's always been part of my pkg. My kids have it as well and they have really basic phone stuff. But whatever - I never answered my phone on dates. I know about the kids etc but I just wonder what happened before everyone had cel phones.

Barb

Originally Posted By: SunFunOne

I know about the kids etc but I just wonder what happened before everyone had cel phones.

Barb

...and ex spouses lol!

I just think its sad that no one can go anywhere for a couple of hours without answering their phone or putting up with other insensitive morons who repeatedly talk loudly on theirs. (Was not referring to anyone here).

Yesterday we were at a museum, sitting in front of a video. I was with 2 85 plus year olds who were straining to hear and some moron a few feet away answered his loudly ringing phone and kept shouting HELLO HELLO HELLO. Come on world - just don't answer it. Put it on mute. Go outside. But I am OVER listening to other people's conversations, driving around idiots who have phones glued to their ears while blocking traffic and swerving over the line. How stupid can people get? And don't even get me started about texting and driving. Is anything that important that you can't wait until you are safely parked??? I have a severely disabled son. I NEED to carry a cel phone but there are many times when I don't even check it because I ask myself - can this wait?

Barb

The world is certainly a different place now, isn't it! You can't even be alone in the washroom. People can find you no matter where you are now that we're all so connected...yet people are lonelier than ever, go figure.

Tonight was Dancing With The Stars and SDA Lady and I watched it together...in different locations. We were texting back and forth through the entire show commenting on the performances and having laughs together. It was fun

I loaned my cellphone to my son for about a month (his was disconnected ... no money ... lost his job). Ahhh, the freedom. I had a ready excuse when people tried to get a hold of me. "Sorry, I didn't have my cell." Mind you, I don't get a lot of calls, so it wasn't a huge thing not to have it.

Today I finished 1.5 days of training on a new reporting mechanism which I'm told we're gonna just love...and it's all about the client! Sure it is. Anyway, yesterday after work I took SDA Lady dinner. We had a really nice lunch at work so I bought an extra portion to take to her. I knew she was still pretty sick and would probably appreciate a decent dinner. I texted her and she responded "thank you so much, ur so thoughtful. U know how I luv salmon!" So we arranged to meet in the park beside her house that way she said we could sit and talk for a bit. When I arrived she wasn't there yet. I phoned and she had began to feel sick to her stomach and dizzy again. She asked if I could wait 20 minutes or so while she lay down. I said "sure, I'll read a book while I wait". She came later and we sat on a bench talking and hugging. We saw a Cardinal (is that good, Kat

)and she asked me "what does a skunk look like?" She also told me she didn't know what she would have done if I hadn't been there to help her lately. Her employers are still being the SOB's I have previously described. No offers of food or assistance whatsoever just "can you work tomorrow?". Bizarre. She did tell me that the six year old came down to see her in her room. He ran over and hugged her (despite SDA Lady telling him not to) and his Mom called him upstairs and told him to let SDA Lady rest. He said "Mom, I'm not bothering her, I just want to stay and hug her to make her all better" Hey, me too kid lol! He then told SDA Lady that he was going to sit on her floor and keep her company until she felt better. SDA Lady asked him what he wanted to do and he said "watch Jane Fonda Firm and Burn" so they did lol!
Anyway, SDA Lady's sister in Alaska just sent me an email saying "Whatis, thank you so much for taking care of my sister! God bless" I replied "It's a pleasure to be there for your sister. She's a very special lady. Take care"
So that's my life for now. I booked 2 rooms for Ottawa in April. Yes, I'll be rooming with my Mom for 2 nights...oooh, the bonding will be awesome lol!

It was one year today that my Dad passed away. I remembered him by going to two church services this morning and singing my lungs out. Dad sang in church choirs for 65 years, I thought this would be the perfect way to honour his memory. Singing was a major joy in his life. I know he heard me

:-) yes he did

dont mind me, passing thru, being nosey

Originally Posted By: KarenMarieS

dont mind me, passing thru, being nosey

Nothing to see here, Ma'am...but thanks for the drive by

Awwwwwww.....I knew there was a reason you were posting all those pics of your dad.

I love the way you are honoring him.

Thanks Mish, miss him lots!
SDA Lady and I didn't see each other today. We decided earlier in the week that she needed to rest today. She went back to work on Wednesday and worked 13 hours a day for the rest of the week. Last night she fell asleep while tucking one of the kids into bed! Her plan was to go to the doctor's this morning for her pap smear, grab a quick lunch and go home to rest. She texted me in the a.m. (she didnt' think I was going to church cuz I went the night before...but I am one dedicated Christian lol!) She then called me in the afternoon telling me she was getting her hair cut. Apparently, after a convo with her bff it was decided she had a hair crisis that needed immediate attention, something to do with "frizzies" (I'm a guy so I have no idea what such a crisis might entail. A male hair crisis is when you've lost your comb and it's been over a week!) She called me later in the afternoon to tell me how excited she was about the tops she had just bought at a very cheap price. "I'm so excited, I just had to call you"...uh, OK. She said "I'm so sorry, I'm supposed to be at home resting. I don't know what happened!" I said "I do, you went to a mall to get your hair cut, game over!" She told me once before that her only vice is shopping. Tonight we talked on the phone and she told me that her best friend had invited her over this afternoon and wanted her to bring her Jane Fonda Firm and Burn DVD so they could do it together...SDA Lady said "No, I'm supposed to be resting". Everybody seems to love Firm and Burn, her employer borrowed it to burn a copy, the six year old is always asking to watch Firm and Burn and now her bff. It's the gift that just keeps on giving lol! Anyway, she shopped her little heart out and I went to a park to read. Honestly, I think she needed some alone time just to putter around by herself. I told her that I was glad she was feeling better and had a little time to do things she liked doing. Next week we're going to the Raptors game. We're both looking forward to it. So, after talking for two hours tonight we called it a day. That's my update.

Big hugs. Thinking of you. I know your dad is still there for you to talk to when ever you need him.

Originally Posted By: kat727

I know your dad is still there for you to talk to when ever you need him.

That's true, unless he's watching a baseball game lol!

Thanks for throwing your support towards my love of KU basketball! You just crack me up!

kat

Thank G and Kat, my Dad was an amazing man. He battled depression most of his life but is remembered by people as one of the happiest people they have ever known. That's nice. He took what life threw at him and even at the end, in the hospital dying, he had a smile on his face and always a joke to tell or a laugh to share. I miss him.

The first anniversary is the toughest as are the holidays the first year. But it does get easier and you are able to remember the good times.

I refer to my mother's death (nearly 7 years now). I can't even imagine how I will cope when my father's time comes. For now - I am grateful for the 85 years he has been on this earth and feel so lucky to have had him visit me in Florida last week.

Barb

Honestly, it wasn't that bad. I celebrated his life in the way I thought appropriate. Yes, he was on my mind a lot but that's what these times are for. I talked with SDA Lady about it the night before, she listened and we both shared what we missed most about our Dad's. Her Dad is still alive but he's incapacitated with a stroke and is no longer verbal. I also talked to my Mom for a bit on the day and she was fine. So, that's year one come and gone. Thanks everyone for the kind thoughts.

SDA Lady texted me yesterday morning to apologize for going on and on about her job issues the previous night. She said "I hope I didn't bother you too much" I replied "I'm OK with you venting once in a while, I hope it helped" That was actually big for me that she recognized that her bitching may not be a desirable thing, my ex would bitch endlessly. hour upon hour and then get upset if I needed to take a break for a wee wee! It never occured to her that she was overboard...and I should have said so! So SDA Lady and I traded a few silly texts during the morning. At lunch she texted "I know it's your lunch time. Enjoy!" I replied "my dessert is missing. I can't seem to find my Sweet SDA Lady Fruit Bar!' she replied "Well, I guess you'll have to do without dessert lol!" Last night she told me that she was working in the kitchen earlier and couldn't stop laughing as she remembered some of our silly texts of that morning, "I had to close the door, I didn't want (my employer) to think her Nanny was losing her mind!"
After Dancing With The Stars we talked about the show and events of both our days. She told me she likes the fact that we talk and share about our day... and before hanging up she said "Whatis, I love talking to you". So Sunday we are going to the Raptors basketball game...although she was coughing again a bit yesterday night...oh oh. But all in all, we're still enjoying each other and that's what counts, doesn't it

"All in all, we're still enjoying each other and that's what counts, doesn't it?"

Are you in doubt?

I guess it boils down to what you want in a relationship and if the relationship is meeting your expectations.

You 2 don't spend much time together but you do connect daily. Is that enough?

I know that she makes you laugh and feel cared about and that is all good. Is it enough?

Remember with respect to her job that you can't rescue her. And you are only getting her side of it. Yes - they sound like jerks but on a bad day at my house - I'll bet I sound like a jerk to my employees too. But I'm not. Remember that she made the choices that got her to where she is and she has to make the choices for change if she so desires.

Between the 2 of you - there have been more sick weeks than well weeks. That is not so good. I truly hope that the Spring will bring you better health so you can continue to enjoy good times together.

Not to burst your bubble (although it sounds like it) - but Wii - it is important to periodically ask yourself these questions. "Is this what I want?". You DO sound happy but sometimes it sounds like you're trying to convince yourself.

Like me - you are one of those people who tries to DO TOO MUCH for the ones we care about. And we're not always appreciated for it. Just be careful.

I want you to be happy. Not just for today. But for all the tomorrows ahead.

Barb

Point taken, Barb. I do think about what I want. It's hard when there is one day a week that we can spend together. If something happens, we lose that and there's no "we'll just see each other tomorrow". Certainly, I have fears. Will this person suddenly just not want me anymore? What if my feelings change? Is this enough? But, with any R we have to take it a day at a time. I'm enjoying her, feel close to her and for now that's good. We'll see where the future leads us. We're both trying

We are also a "once a week" couple. It used to be one day a week. Then overnight. Then 2 nights a week (Fri & Sat). Now that we have a house together it is Thurs, Fri & Sat nights and most of Sun daytime. (he works from the house on Fri unless he has in person meetings). So it has evolved. Slowly... Kind of at a snail's pace. And for most people - it would not have been enough. But for us - it has been.

And we talk on the phone. But not every night. Now it is Tues nights. Because, after all - I need to watch Bachelor and Dancing with the Stars. And truthfully - I like my time to do my own things too. So on Mondays and Wednesdays we don't always connect. But sometimes there is a phone call. Or a text. Or an email.

The point is - he is a wonderful part of my life. But he is not my WHOLE life. He adds to it. But he does not "complete" me. I'm complete as a person all by myself.

I don't make his issues my issues. Yes - I listen to his problems with his job. (although he doesn't complain much). And I reflect what he is saying back to him. But I don't try to solve his problems. They are HIS problems.

And he listens to me complain about my son's agency. And he offers support. But he also does not try to solve the problems as it is my lot to sort out.

And is this enough for me??? Yes. At this time in my life - this is what I want.

Do I take stock of what I want? Yes - periodically. And for me - this is good.

Barb

Originally Posted By: gabbysmom23

"Sweet SDA Lady Fruitbar"????

Oh Man.......

Good one, eh! Gag...gag lol.

Sounds good Barb! I was just typing that I'm quite OK with seeing her once per week, it's just that there is no "we'll see each other tomorrow" if that day gets messed up. We talk nightly and share fun stuff and concerns. She isn't a lady who bitches continually about her job, she's actually quite positive about life. I don't solve her problems and she doesn't seem to expect me to. We talk about my D's university decisions and how anxious I feel about this change, we talked about the anniversary of my Dad's death etc. We laugh but we also share some tuff stuff too. We contact each other equally. Sometimes I initiate and sometimes she does. It's nice. She wants a job where she can work five days a week and reasonable hours, that's encouraging. She was actually using me as a sounding board for her thoughts on finding new employment, not really bitching although she kind of felt she was. Also she makes me a priority, which I do appreciate. She has a whole life to stuff into a Sat morning and all day Sunday, yet she always finds time for me. I also continue with the things I do each week, my meditation group, my book group etc. and she encourages me to keep doing those things. Anyway, there's no perfect R and there are bumps here but we'll see where it goes. If it fails, I think I'm strong enough to take it in stride, feel my pain but move on. That's my ramble lol. Gotta go.

Btw, did I mention that earlier in the week SDA Lady and I were talking about TV shows. She likes medical real life shows e.g. ER because she was a nurse and understands what they are doing etc. I like watching 48 hours cuz I had some basic training in suspect interrogation in the Military Police and like to watch the detectives work the suspect. She told me about the ins and outs of amputation and how she got to hold a leg once and put it in a bucket after it fell off. I said "OMG, and I hold your hand!" I stopped her when she started telling me about the two post-mortems she assisted on, which were fascinating according to her...enough!!!!!
Tonight I'm going to a mid-week church service and then dropping D14 for a sleep over (no school tomorrow). Saturday night I'm going to get together with some old university friends and catch up. Bye for now!

Nope - Dr Doug Ross (George Clooney). Just bought the Descendents and yep - he is the hot one!

Barb

Sorry ladies, it's actually some reality show SDA Lady likes called Emergency Room, I think. Never seen it...never will lol!

Oh yes, that show is pretty cool. Shows real cases that the emergency room gets to deal with and then has the real emergency room doctors talk about what happened! Used to be on Discovery channel I think.

kat

tonight was the Whatis-SDA Lady YouTube singalong. Yes, we did the best of Air Supply, Josh Groben, Helen Reddy, Anne Murray and a few hymns thrown in for more variety... and it was all done by telephone. I realized tonight that SDA Lady is right, she can't sing lol!!!! She once told me "I like the songs but hey don't like me"...hmm, she might have a point. We had fun though.
Also earlier tonight Voldy called and asked me if I'd be able to pick D14 up from gymnastics as she was downtown having dinner with some old work friends. I said "sure, no problem. I can pick her up" After I hung up I laughed when I thought of the difference in my attitude to her "you're supposed to be dropping the girls off, you know" attitude of a few weeks ago. I'm just glad I can be me, a generous person willing to help out if asked. I'd rather be me than her

I'm about to head out to pick up a couple of my former classmates from University. We're getting together for our yearly check in. I phoned Voldy and asked her to pick up D14 from gymnastics as it occurred to me this morning I couldn't. So, I called in my favour from last night lol! Voldy was fine with it, last night was still fresh in her mind.
SDA Lady texted me this morning saying how much she enjoyed our Youtube singalong last night. Me too! D14 heard us last night and said this morning "you two are so lame!" Is that good lol? We do know how to party, don't we. Anyway, tomorrow I'm going to church in the morning and then SDA Lady and I are going to the Raptors game later in the day, should be fun.
Bye for now Dbers.

Well, I had a wonderful weekend. Saturday night I had a great visit with old university friends, one of which is 85 years old this year! On Sunday SDA Lady and I went to a shopping mall downtown for the afternoon and the Raptors basketball game in the evening. The basketball was fine but the snuggling was even better! At one point she said that my hands seemed a little dry and pulled out her hand cream. She lathered her hands and took each of my hands, one at a time, and began slowly and gently caressing them and finished by stroking each finger one at a time. Her touch was just so gentle and caring. It felt so amazing! Wow, it's been a long time since I felt something like that

Also sitting next to us was a Filipino couple and their two kids, so on both sides of me I was hearing "Eye yii yii!" and at one point, after a missed shot, SDA Lady and the other lady looked at each other and said "Eye yii yii!" I laughed and said "hey,now you've got someone to Eye yii yii with!" SDA lady asked the other woman to take pictures of us together. It was such a nice evening.
When I arrived home SDA Lady called me and told me that one of her friends had just called and she had been at the game too. She thanked me for a wonderful evening and before saying goodnight she asked "Do you know this song, Whatis" and began singing the theme from Love Story to me. She said "Next time we Youtube together, we'll sing it. OK?" so sweet.
Well, that's all my mushy crap for one day lol!

As the said in the Little Mermaid....Kiss the girl!

kat

Lol. Actually, at the end of the evening, she said she'd like to kiss me but she still had a bit of a cough and didn't want me to catch it again...meanwhile we've been all over each other the whole night, if I didn't have it by then I must be immune lol.
She called me this afternoon at work. Last night she'd bought a small Raptor basketball at the game last night for the two boys she cares for. She gave it to them this morning and they were so excited and thanked her for thinking of them. They rushed upstairs to show mom and dad. They returned and said "Mom says this isn't a real basketball and she'll buy us a real one" Holy sh!t...where do you go with that! Then Mom came down and said "did you see how excited the boys where, thank you for giving it to them" Ah out of the mouths of babes, bet she didn't expect them to come down and report on what Mom said! SDA Lady is laughing about it now, she said initially she was hurt but then realized she bought it for the boys...not the parents.

some amusing texts between SDA Lady and myself today. On FB a lady from SDA Lady's home city asked to be my friend. I checked with SDA Lady,thinking she must be a relative. SDA lady has never heard of her. I checked and this person "Likes" a FB page that I "liked" about a Filipino festival. I told SDA Lady that "she's probably looking to make overseas contacts. Delete!"
SDA: "maybe she likes you"
Me: "Well, what's not to like?"
SDA: "I think she sees the handsome and funny man of her dreams!"
Me: Wow, she knows me well. Maybe I should invite her to go out with us on Monday
SDA: Lol ha ha ha
Me: I think I'll just keep you instead
SDA: You sound like you have some doubts

?
Me: No way! When you have the best you forget the rest
SDA: Congrats then!
Me: Besides I'm too old to handle more than one lady at a time lol
SDA: Too old? Wine always tastes better when it's aged
Me: That's true, just don't wait for years to open me up and taste me, OK
SDA: Lol, will do

Wii: It is nice that you have found a really nice lady friend. But it really should be progressing romantically by now. Or are you happy just being friends. Because that was not what you were telling us a couple of months ago.

She is waiting for you to make the move. So DO IT already. Kiss her!

Josh and I took things slowly. (YES, we really did). But the truth is- he kissed me on our first date. And if he hadn't by the 3rd date - I would have moved on. Because that would tell me he really didn't find me that attractive.

You can argue the Asian thing to death but the teasing and joking is fun but only to a point.

What are you afraid of???

Barb

I'm not afraid of anything Barb. I think things are moving along romantically. We have a great deal of physical affection expressed between us, if we didn't I'd be concerned. Now to say that I'm "arguing the Asian thing to death" is just plain wrong. I'm respecting the culture the lady is from. One of the things she told me she likes so much about me is that I am respectful towards her...as well as affectionate. It's interesting because in my online dating experiences the word I heard over and over again from Filipino women when you talk, message, or have coffee with them is "respect". SDA lady and I have discussed the differences between dating here and dating in the Philippines, she knows where I want to go and I will probably go there on Monday when we go out again. I think she's pretty much there anyway. I went for it after a month and she asked if we could kiss on the cheek for a while longer, I agreed. In her culture they date at a painfully slow pace. That's what she knows, that's her point of reference. She has never dated a non-Filipino and even that was over 21 years ago. When I told her that here couples are often in bed after dating for a month she was horrified, "that's why there's so much venereal disease here!" She's also horrified that on The Bachelor he kisses more than one woman, "disgusting" were her words!
So, are we "friends", I hope so! But I've never had a friend touch me the way she does or say the caring things she does to me. Honestly, I'm happy right now. I believe she's in this all the way but it's a process and we will certainly be discussing that process again. Whether it will all work out, who knows. We both have needs and we need to figure out how to meet them together and, again, that's a process.

As long as you are 'feeling the love' in other ways, that is all that counts. Only if it was stagnating and all talk, no touch, would I be worried about it.

Sounds like so much fun!

So it's Monday this week instead of Sunday?

I think she is a good friend and is very interested in you. And I'm not suggesting you jump into bed with her. But a kiss is a simple romantic gesture.

And I'm only referring to things you wrote a couple of months ago about going for that kiss. It just seems like a really long, long time.

Barb

Honestly Mish, I do 'feel the loving'. She's very affectionate and caring towards me. She tells me "you're my man" in many ways. She once told me that "every Sunday is your Sunday". A few weeks ago we were snuggling on a park bench and she said "I care very much for you". If, at some point, I feel my needs are not being met then I will act on that. But now, I'm feeling things are moving along very, very well. Hey, when her sister contacts me to be her FB friend that says a lot. It means family is now checking me out and in her culture family is everything...and I mean everything! And yes, we are getting together on Monday this week because we both have the day off. I suggested we go to the Ontario Science Centre and she said "OK, you're the boss lol" She also has a great sense of humour and to put up with me you need that badly!

I know what you mean Barb. Actually, it was four weeks ago and she's been sick the last few weeks. She did say last week, and actually the week before, that she wanted to kiss me but didn't want to get me sick again. But there really is affection oozing out between us when we're together, that's why I'm feeling so relaxed here. Again, she comes from a culture where kissing etc is down the line not like it is in North America. The snuggling, hugging, kissing on the cheek etc that she does is probably way over the line in her mind. Now, to her credit she told me she wanted me to tell her how things are done here because she doesn't know. She said when her friend put her on the dating site her first question was "what if the men want to kiss me or hold my hand, what should I do?" So, only time will tell but I'm quite happy right now. She's an incredible lady...and she's damn lucky to have me too! And btw, she also tells me how lucky she feels, that's nice.

I spent yesterday evening in the Emerg with D14. She had a fall at gymnastics and sprained her ankle badly. Xrays showed no breaks or tears but she can't walk on it presently. In two weeks she has the Ontario Championships in Ottawa (apparently she's number 9 in the province in her age group and level). So, now it's rush her to physio and see where this goes. Gymnastics coach says three or four physo visits and she could be ready to go for the championships but I dunno. We'll have to make a decision in the next week. I don't want to risk any further injury if that's a possibility. So we'll see. Got a physio appt for 4:00 pm. Wish us luck

Oh my goodness!!!

I sure hope it heals quickly for her. That would be a terrible blow to have to miss out on the championships.

Healing wishes being sent her way!!

kat

Not to sound an alarm but I read Little Girls in Pretty Boxes several years ago and came away horrified about competitive gymnastics.

Hey - I posted about this but my post is not here. Maybe it's on another thread but...

Make sure she is safe enough to compete or declare it NO GO! Only the dr can decide that.

Barb

I talked to Voldy tonight and we're both leaning strongly towards pulling her. The therapist didn't sound too hopeful, he said it was "possible" as he scrunched his face but he'd have to wait until Wednesday to give me any real idea. She has no practices until Ottawa and so how the heck can we know whether she's even able to take the pounding her ankle will have to take. We don't want her to be damaged any further nor do we want to end up in an Emerg in Ottawa! So, we shall see.

I texted SDA Lady and suggested that I come over this afternoon, pick her up and we run away together. She said that it was too cool today and that I'm supposed to be doing my Income Taxes anyway. Damn. So I suggested that we run away together on April 7, 2014 and that we should each mark it on our calenders. So on that date could one of you guys remind me...just in case!

Not me - that will be one week after my 10 year anniversary with Josh. I hope we are sailing off into the sunset somewhere. It's not too cool - we were out hiking in the woods here in Muskoka and I had to take my vest off off - way too warm! Good for you for trying something spontaneous though.

Barb

C'mon Barb, it's just one lousy post I'm asking for here! I told her I was doing my income tax so I'd get enough money with the refund to take her to France so she can trace her family roots. She's showing interest now lol. Unfortunately, I've hit a very big road bump, namely I don't know what the hell I'm doing!!!!

Correction: I do know what I'm doing, ripping my friggin' hair out. Maybe I should just put all the slips in the envelope, mail it in and let CRA do it!

That's what they have H & R Block for.

Barb

Those dinks charged me $200 last year. I'd rather go to jail!

This is the first time in my life I will have to do my own or pay someone. My dad is an retired accountant. He did mine every single year and did all the books for my business. Now that I don't live near him (and he is 85) - he is not going to do it.

I don't know where to begin. But I will go see an accountant because I don't want to miss something.

Barb

Last year was the first year I ever had anyone else do my taxes. My Dad had just passed away and I was not in the mood, so I went to H&R Block. I almost gagged when they gave me the bill! Now, I'm having problems with the damn T3 slips, don't have a clue how to even come up with a BS number to put down and let the CRA fix it, let alone figure out the real amounts. When all I had was straight interest income, life was simple...and SDA Lady thought I was kidding about running away together today...uh uh lol!

$200 not to have the headache? It's worth it

Barb

Don't you have any online tax preparers there? For example, we have Turbo Tax, Tax Act, and Tax Slayer. They are very easy to navigate and are very low cost.

Sadly, I'm trying to use Turbo tax and having a grand time!

Turbo tax will give you free help. Pick up the phone!

I have done it! At 2:00 am I conquered Turbo tax...sort of. I tried to efile but apparently my file is in the wrong format...huh? Well, on the bright side, I'm almost home and I've got $2500 coming my way...I hope.
Did grocery shopping at 8:30 am and still lined up for 15 minutes. Shortly I'm off to my Mom's to help her take some stuff down to the Salvation Army store. On the way I'm picking up SDA Lady (it's on my route to Mom's) and dropping her at church (yes, she's finally getting to go to church!)She.s calling it our "drop off date" lol. Lastly 4:00 pm I'm going to the gymnastics club to help set up (until 8:00 pm boo) for an upcoming Meet. A full day. Wow, I feel like ClingingToHope lol!

LOL! I was just thinking that you sounded like you were cramming as much as you could into one day...kind of like CTH.

LOL! I'm in between gigs now. I picked up SDA lady this morning to drop her at church as it was on the way to my Mom's. Wow, SDA lady should not be allowed to stand out on the sidewalk looking that good, chance of accidents is just too great. She looked incredible! There may be something to be said for churches that still have the "dress up" code lol. My church jeans and a cup of coffee is considered dressed up. Anyway, she got in the car and I said "you look so beautiful today" She smiled and thanked me. She then told me that her employer greeted her on the way out with "Where are you going today beautiful lady?" I gave her the Easter gift I'd made for her. It's a photo album with pictures of me and pictures of her. On the cover has the word "love" across it in small letters. In the little frame on the cover I cut out pictures of our heads and placed them together to look like we were holding each other (looks pretty decent, if I do say so myself). I also gave her a card and a cute little chocolate chick. She looked at me and her eyes got all soft and moist, she then let out a moan and said "you are just the sweetest man" she then made a frustrated noise and said "I just put on all this lipstick and now I want to kiss you so badly!" We hugged instead and then drove off. We chatted for a bit and then she reached over and took my hand, began squeezing it and said "Sometimes I miss you so much! I just want to hold onto your hand right now and never let it go!" Wow again. I also told her that I'd completed my income tax yesterday and she said "do you have enough money now so that we can run off to Paris together lol" I dropped her off and headed down to Mom's...Mom didn't want to hold my hand and never let it go, she wanted me to dump junk at the Salvation Army lol. She did buy me lunch though

So, I get an hour break and then it's off to setting up the gym...can't wait to see what muscles I pull this year!

It does...holy sh!t ! I thought it was just a nice album from the dollar store. Guess she liked it, eh lol. My Mom told me (not that I shared any of the above with her...cuz I didn't!) "You just be careful that you don't end up with another woman who's gonna change on you" WTH does that even mean? Uh, thanks Mom...I guess.

Oh and the best part, she hadn't even looked at the photo album yet! Asian tradition is that you put gifts aside and look at them later. It is considered bad manners to open a present too eagerly. She was just seemed so touched that I'd brought her something for Easter!

Well, SDA Lady went to church today...and got hit on! I told her that from now on I'm going with her to act as body guard lol. The funniest part is that the guy insisted on giving her a gold plated pen and refused to take it back...from a Casino. She says "we're not even supposed to gamble and he's got expensive pens to give away from a Casino!" Those darn Christian Filipino men, you gotta watch 'em at all times lol!

Wii, a friend of mine is dating a Muslim woman from India who got out of an 18-year arranged marriage. Listening to him talk about the culture clash is interesting and it made my think of you.

Happy Easter.

Well, SDA Lady and I ended up spending the day together today. It wasn't planned but it just kind of came together. I picked her up and we went for lunch, a walk in the park and then we decided to go to an outlet mall (which we knew was most likely closed and it was) So, we parked in the vacant parking lot, watching the seagulls collect crap. I put my arm around her and she pulled close to me. Well, to make a long story short we got into some pretty decent liplocking. Yes, my faithful readers, it happened...in a vacant parking lot of an outlet mall lol. Afterwards we had an amazing discussion about out R, what we wanted, what we liked most about each other...it was wonderful. We even talked about you know what. At one point I was overcome and tears started spilling down my cheeks. SDA Lady wiped my face and said "it's OK, this is new to both of us. I understand" I said "These tears are joyful tears" I just felt so many wonderful feelings that I didn't know how to express them to her and the tears came. I've never had that before. I feel so cared about when I'm with her. I said "I think there's something so special here between us" and she said "I think so too". Afterwards, I drove her home an went to my Mom's for Easter dinner.
Wow, my first real kiss in probably 7 years at least. Btw, when I dropped her off, we kissed a few more times...on the lips now.
Mission accomplishd and one day ahead of schedule

Tomorrow we're going to the Science Centre and then dropping by her best friends place for a visit. We were both laughing about the fact that we're in our forties and fifties and were making out in a car like teenagers lol. I'm happy tonight.

Hear Hear!!! Way to Go! It was a long time but I'm sure it was worth the wait.

I'm not sure what to say about the tears. I know how emotional divorce is but I'd be careful about letting too much of it out around her or she might get worried.

At any rate - glad it's all going so well for you and hope tomorrow is just as great!

Barb

Happy Dyngus Day Wii! Tradition has it that if you douse the object of your affection with water and/or tap her with pussy willows - it will bring the 2 of you closer.

Just saying'...

Barb

Thanks Barb, the tears were silent and they were nice tears. She was very sweet about them. I guess our talk and everything else just made me realize she really does care for me. What an awesome feeling! She told me she felt so comfortable with me, she felt like she could tell me anything and it would be OK. She liked that she could cry with me and that was OK too. She likes that I'm looking to build a long term relationship with trust and love...before asking for you know what. The few other guys she dated briefly all wanted sex after the first date...and that was their last date! But that I am gentle, respectful, affectionate and loving. She said she's not against us doing "S-E-X" she just wants it to be when it feels right and not just an act done for fun. I said I totally agreed. I told her that I felt I could just be myself around her, I didn't need to impress her by pretending to be someone other than myself. She said "I like you as you are" It was very special, I felt that we confirmed that we're both committed to seeing this out together. Where it goes, who can ever really know. I told her that her laugh was infectious and she said "so you mean I'm a virus lol?" So we talked... and kissed for probably an hour. Today, we're going to the Science Centre and then dropping over to visit her best friend...so she can check me out lol!

WOW! Very good!

Cute pics! You were really into those bones weren't ya? Lol. Sounds like things are going well and that you both are on the same page. So happy for you!

kat

Yep - I saw them too. Nic pics. She is really pretty. You 2 look nice together - even if it IS upside down. LOL!

How did it go with her friend?

Barb

Not "nic pics" (which sounds like picnics) - NICE PICS!!!

Need edit button back.

By the way - Picnics was on both mine and Josh's top 3 things to do on a date. We listed those on LavaLife (where we met).

Barb

Thanks guys, we have such fun together. Her friend had to work late and we weren't able to get together. I suggested that she come to dinner with us but she couldn't tonight cuz work went longer than she'd expected. Next time

Btw, the mirror shows you yourself upside down, that's why the pic is upside down. Tonight she also asked what Friends With Benefits means. She'd heard the term but didn't know what it meant...she does now lol!

Well, I've deleted my fb pictures of our day today. I talked to SDA Lady and she had some concerns as to whether her daughter in the Philippines could see them. She said she was happy to see me sharing our pictures with my friends and if there is no problem re her daughter seeing them then she's cool with it. But, apparently her sister "liked" a couple of pictures and she wondered whether that would show up on the daughter's feed. I told her I didn't think so but wasn't completely sure and therefore would delete the album. She apologized and thanked me for understanding, "some men would be mad and accuse me of hiding things, I am so lucky to be with you, a man who can understand my situation like you do" She feels it best to tell her daughter about me when daughter comes to Canada. She also doesn't want to tell her daughter that she has left Catholicism until she comes to Canada. I said the I respect her right to tell the people in her life about me when she feels it is best. I said that in a relationship people are sensitive to each others needs. If there is the slightest chance that my pictures could inadvertently put her, SDA Lady , in a situation she isn't ready to deal with, then I will delete them. She was concerned about my friends who may have already seen them "you will be embarrassed if they ask why you took them off" I said that my friends will have no problems with it. I told her I was happy that she decided to tell me this, that's what people do when they care about each other. I said that I probably should have discussed putting them on with her first anyway. She said "I am so lucky to have a man like you in my life" Hey, we're both lucky! So I'm glad you all enjoyed the photos but they are now back in the vault lol!

Yes, you should always ask someone first if they want their photos up or not. Some people are very sensitive to it. My son freaked out at Christmas because my daughter tagged him in a family photo where we are all in our pjs. I would not have given it a second thought - but he didn't want all his friends seeing it.

Just be cautious about moving faster than she wants to. Your one day of seeing her this week turned into 3. Which is wonderful - but sometimes the other person doesn't see it that way, especially if they like their "me" time on their days off too.

I'm a person who sometimes does "too much" and I don't feel appreciated. But the funny thing is - when I back off and let someone else do something for me - they seem to want to do it even more. It's one of those curious things about human nature. Give the other person a chance to reciprocate.

Glad you are happy where things seem to be going.

Barb

Thanks Barb. She was very sweet about it and actually said that she was happy that I shared our pictures with my friends and said that it made her feel that I really cared about her. She told me to leave them up but I told her that I didn't want her to feel any discomfort, she said "I'm probably just being an over reactive Mom anyway" But I said that I didn't want her to feel any anxiety about her daughter due to this. I'd love to share our pictures with my friends but her comfort was more important to me.

Well done Wii! Glad that I got to see them before they returned to the vault! LOL

Thanks Mish, actually almost all my DB friends saw them before I put them in storage again lol! What I like most about these pictures is that you can just feel the joy coming from both of us. We really enjoy our times together. Next week it's the baseball game.

GO JAYS!!!

Barb

Ahhh, she texted me this morning "I am so lucky to have you in my life. You are so sweet and understanding. I hugged my Whatis pillow all night" She sleeps with three pillows, one for her head, her feet and has one to hug...she calls it her Whatis pillow

I just texted back "I feel so blessed being with you too" and she replied "we are both blessed then" I think I'll keep her!

I was looking up a phrase in Tagalog to text to SDA lady. On the same web page there are helpful phrases in Tagalog for discussing sex. I couldn't resist checking these out so here are my favourites (I won't bother with the Tagalog translations, you can look 'em up)
Why don't you want to have sex?
I'm not going to force you.
Are you scared to have sex?
I'll use protection
I don't want to get sick
I don't want to get pregnant
Does it hurt?
If it hurts say so.
Do you want to have sex standing up?
Slower
Faster
Just a bit more
Enough!

Wow, those Filipinos are romantic devils!

Here's a phrase to use when discussing "kissing"
Have you brushed your teeth?

For relationship talk
Liar!
Are you angry?
Are you jealous?
It's none of your business.

I am fully prepared to speak Tagalog in any discussion now!...Maybe I'll just stick to insiip kita or missing you lol.

Going to the Physiotherapists this evening for D14's third treatment. So, we'll see what the opinion of the therapist is, we're still leaning to pulling her from the meet. And D18 has pretty much decided to go to university in Toronto, I discussed it with her last night. That's a relief! So, life goes on

Well, Physiotherapist says no go. He says she could compete without tearing anything if they tape her well but she will perform at 70 percent, will compete in pain and will lengthen her recovery time. He said that if it was his daughter he wouldn't do it. So, she's out. D14 took the news well, she is a very level headed kid and usually feels her disappointment and moves on to the next thing. I told SDA Lady about the results and she said "Daughter 14 handles things like her Daddy. That's one of the things I love so much about you!" So that's that for this year.

You have a very mature 14 year old there Wii! Good for her!

Sorry to hear but glad she is fine with not risking further injury. You have a couple of great kid but I am guessing that you already knew that.

kat

Sorry that she is unable to compete but good for all the adults involved here. The decision was made based on what was best for your daughter. I'm so glad to read that. And glad that she accepted it.

Now - on to her healing and getting stronger. There will be other gym meets in the future.

TGIF!

Barb

Thanks folks. She's now looking forward to track and field at school. She's competing in javelin throw, her coach says she has the potential to be moving to the next level there too...whatever that is.
This morning SDA Lady's employer said some unkind words to her and SDA Lady felt very hurt. So we exchanged a few texts and I empathized and comforted her a bit. Later in the a.m. she texted me "thx sweetie, I don't know what I'm going to do without you. You are so sweet and nice to me!" Hmm, that didn't sound right? I guess if I pick her up on Sunday and she's not there then I probably should have paid more attention to the wording of that last text lol!

Track and field competition has the OK of physiotherapist for next Saturday. Javelin throwing is in, gymnastics is out. When one door closes another one opens lol !

Did you get that phrase cleared up with your sweetie? That caught my eye right away! Yow!

Kat

Yeah - hope it's not some kind of Fruedian slip. Like she is planning to leave her employer and go back home??? Hope not - cuz that would suck!

Barb

Oh gosh no, it's just an English thing. Don't get excited everybody! We talked tonight everything is fine. She's so happy to have me in her life etc. I never for a second thought the text was anything more than an English slip up. She's not going anywhere

btw, before we hung up I reminded her to hug her Whatis pillow tonight and she replied "I don't want the pillow tonight, I want the real Whatis!"

agreed!

gotcha lol!

On a more tame note, she told me this morning that she's excited because today is the Shoppers Drug Mart 20 X the points day! I just hope I can find an appropriate card for the occasion!

Wii - I think you need a hobby! For the 6 other days of the week besides work. Just a thought...

Barb

And driving you people nuts isn't a hobby? I beg to differ!

Busy day today. In the morning I dropped D14 to her gymnastics club and then went for an early walk in the park. The park was packed with Falun Gong or Falun Dafa, as they call themselves. Later it was house chores. Yes, laundry, re-cycle, garbage, dishes, vacuuming, sweeping...haven't even got to the bathrooms yet! It's an all day affair. I was planning to go to a church service tonight but I think I'll take my D18 out for dinner instead, I think God will approve! We haven't done that in a while so it'll be nice, as long as she can drag herself away from homework. After which I will probably pick up D14. That's my day so far. Happy 20 X the points day everyone!

Hey, I actually did go to church today...forgot, busy day! I told SDA Lady that I'd enjoy going to church with her one Saturday to see what her church services were like. She, of course can't, due to work so I said I'd check one out myself. I love going to different services of different denominations. I've been to Pentecostal, evangelical, liberal, new age, I've even been to the Catholic church a few times and had no idea what I was doing, I just did what they did except at communion cuz I know if you aren't Catholic you aren't supposed to take communion. You can get a blessing from the Priest but I passed. Anyway, SDA Lady told me about a church she used to go to sometimes, so I had a couple of hours before cleaning to kill and went. I was doing fine until the footwashing ceremony...huh? I texted SDA Lady "Hey, what's a footwashing ceremony and how do I get out of it...awkward!" She replied to just stay in my seat and no one would bother me. So I did and listened to the children's story, I'm a child at heart anyway so it all worked out. The only other glitch is when they all dropped from the pews onto their knees for prayer, caught me a little off guard! But, it was interesting and very conservative. I knew all the hymns so that was nice. So that concludes my religious adventure for today. I should do a travel show on PBS only it would be churches instead. So it's dinner at 6:00 pm with one of my best girls!. Everything done except the bathrooms...they'll wait...and wait...

I've been waiting an hour for my daughter to get ready...I should've had boys!

I had a wonderful dinner with daughter. We went to a Greek restaurant which she likes but hasn't been to for a while. D18 is a wonderful dinner companion, from the time she steps into the car she's talking. We had a nice discussion about school, university, the upcoming prom, world events etc. She's decided to go to university here in Toronto (hooray, says Dad lol). We had a nice meal and nice conversation, glad I thought of it

Wonderful day with SDA Lady. We watched our Jays beat the Orioles 9-2.

So tired today! All my running around the past few weeks has worn me down a little. I'm taking Thursday and Friday off work. I was planning to go to Ottawa for the Ontario Gymnastics Championships and that's off but I decided to take a couple of my holiday days anyway. This place is a pain in the rear lately. I got crapped on for returning from break two minutes late today...first time I've been late since who knows when (nobody mentions the fact that most days I start work 15-30 minutes early). I said "Hey, why don't you chop my head off!" That was better than the "f off" which almost left my lips lol. Last week I socialized for a couple of minutes, again, on work time. I'm such a bad boy! Everybody's getting it, not just me so I don't feel alone. Got to work this morning and before my coat was off I had to break up a screaming match between a few clients...oh happy Monday, but I shall overcome lol. Tonight is Dancing With The Stars, something to look forward to

2 minutes and they're bi!ching? Could you subtly remind them without being snide about it that you are all adults there and you put in ample time early. 2 minutes one time is not going to make the world stop turning! Gees!

It's a bizarre place to work! Last week 2 minutes before the end of the day the boss came into my office and found me gazing into space and said "don't you ever have anything to do!" Ah yes, truly uplifting supervision methods...they bleed us with leeches if we're too out of hand lol! This too shall pass

Well, that's it for my b!tching. Nothing else for you tonight. It's almost time for Dancing With The Stars, that's positive!

I did it! I finally figured out how to file my income tax by internet. Today I am a man.

I'm impressed! Way to go! We lucky Canadians have 2 weeks more than our American friends. I'm off to H & R Block on Wed. Finally made the appt. First time ever that Daddy the Accountant is not doing them for me.

Barb

PS - I'm glad she showed up for the date yesterday. LOL - you are a good fit!

Originally Posted By: SunFunOne

PS - I'm glad she showed up for the date yesterday. LOL - you are a good fit!

Oh yeah, she showed! She says I'm the cream in her coffee...isn't that sweet lol.

Yep - just like when I add too much sweetener to mine. Gag Gag Gag

Barb

Hey, as long as I'm not the grinds in her coffee, I'm happy lol!

I took two days off work as vacation this week, today and tomorrow. I decided to make an appt with Psychologist for a check in and afterwards roam around downtown for a while. I couldn't have picked a nicer day weather wise. So I met with shrink at 10:00 am and we had a good chat. Shrink thinks that SDA Lady and I are a very nice match for each other. She likes that we're both on the same page, are able to communicate and discuss issues, we compromise, we are equally caring towards each other, we have similar values, we both love to laugh etc. We discussed my anxieties about being in a R again. Sometimes I fear that the rug will be pulled out from under me when I least expect it. She said that was absolutely normal considering what I've been through. I mentioned that SDA Lady and I have talked about our trust issues. Anyway, it was a nice check in and the cheese is still on my cracker...for now lol.
Afterwards I roamed around the used bookstores and then drove up to a park I like to visit just out of town. I was reading on a bench on a deck by the pond. There is a closed snack shop behind the bench. Suddenly from the roof streams of water start flying through the air and coming closer and closer to me. I moved quickly and only got slightly wet, my book not that lucky. It turns out the fire department was on the roof practising their hosing techniques I guess. They must looked down, didn't see anyone and hosed away. SDA Lady texted my asking how my afternoon was, so I told her. She said "why did they hose you? Are you OK?" and I'm sure you know what I replied...wait for it..."I was on fire for you baby!" Is that worse than her "you're the cream in my coffee" lol ? That one was just too easy!
The book I had been reading was one from a Seventh Day Adventist book group I decided to join. On my Saturday visit the bulletin said they were having this group to discuss a book outlining some major tenets of SDA theology and I, of course, will go anywhere that gives me a free book! SDA's believe they are "the" church chosen by God, they call it the "remnant church". I very much would like to understand the reasoning behind that. I'm guessing it's through a vision by Ellen G White, an SDA founder, but we'll see. So on Monday's I have meditation group, on Wednesday's I have SDA book group (conservative) and every second Friday I have book group at the United Church (liberal). Fun wow! So that's my update for today..."I was on fire for you baby!"...sometimes I just outdo myself!

btw, in case you're wondering, I did also tell her the real reason for the hosing...didn't leave her all worried that I was engulfed in flames or anything. I don't just go for the cheap laugh, I've got my limits too...well, some of the time anyway lol!

Another lovely day for a vacation day, beautiful weather. After travelling around today and sitting by the lake, I took D14 to her physio appointment and tonight I'm going to see a Christian singer, Jacob Moon, at a church.

If I sense a woman is into it, sure! SDA Lady and I are very affectionate towards each other. If we feel something, we say it! It may be silly teasing or something very sweet and affectionate. It's so neat to be able to do that with each other. I told her one of the things I liked about her was the fact that if she felt something towards me, she tells me. I've always been a pretty affectionate guy, I like to touch and hug. It's nice to have someone who appreciates it!

Busy day yesterday. SDA Lady and I were going to go to church together in the morning but she backed out because she had to go to a friends to pick up her resume (her gf is printing copies for her) and some belongings she's stored there. I went anyway now that I know when to kneel and how to get out of foot washing ceremonies. I stayed after the service for what they call Sabbath School, couldn't hear a word due to too many classes in one space so I left half way through. I came home had a nap and decided to go visit my Mom. On the way I stopped in for what I thought was a bible study, it's on my way to Mom's. I thought it might be interesting and I'm used to just dropping in anywhere to take part in things that interest me...oops, it was a meeting on how to go doorknocking and bring in the unbelievers. So I'm all set to go door to door evangelizing with the SDA in two weeks. They asked if I'd join them and I politely said "do you smell smoke in here?" and then ducked under a table lol... just kidding, but I'm dead serious about not going. Won't be visiting that group again! SDA Lady thought this was too funny. Live and learn, I guess. After this, I went directly to my Mom's and spent the evening eating veggie lasagna and playing scrabble. Hey, maybe I should give the SDA door knocking crew Mom's name and address ...just a thought, a wicked one mind you. Today, SDA Lady and I are to planning to go out together in the afternoon, hopefully her packing will be pretty much done. Her employer is moving on April 30th and SDA Lady, of course, has to pack her stuff on her own time...'cuz she has so much of it...NOT! It never ceases to amaze me how exploitive some people can be, unbelievable! So, maybe we'll see a movie and have dinner...or find an empty outlet mall parking lot and make out again lol. Voldy is taking the kids for the afternoon and evening to go Prom dress shopping with D18, so I can pick them up later in the evening. So, that's my day.

Just a question, Wii - why would she get paid to pack her own things for a move? I honestly don't think any of us gets that. Regardless of who we work for - we pack our things after work or on our days off.

Maybe I read that wrong.

And - did she invite you to go to church with her or did you offer to go? Sometimes people like to keep part of their lives to themselves.

Again - I might be off base. Just asking.

Hope you have a fun outing today

Barb

I said I'd be willing to go with her sometimes and she liked the idea. I don't think SDA is my thing though. Also, the SDA church I checked out isn't hers, it's just one she mentioned to me that she'd been to a couple of times. They have early morning services, which her church doesn't. So I mentioned I'd be glad to go with her sometimes and she said she'd like that. As far as the move, she's moving cuz they are so in my mind they should give her a little time to pack...considering she works 73 hours per week already. I'm biased though lol..
Hey, tonight was our 3 month anniversary! She didn't remember but I did lol. We had our first coffee date on January 22. Tonight we went to an Italian Restaurant and had a nice dinner. I'd wanted to take her to a different restaurant but when we got there it was closed. In the car on the way she apologized to me because when I phoned this afternoon she had forgotten that I had to pick up the kids in the evening. She'd asked me to pick her up at 4:30 pm after I'd suggested I drop over about 3:30 pm. She started by saying "Whatis, I want to say something to you" and then said "I want to apologize. I know you wanted more time together and I forgot about you having to pickup the girls. I could have finished what I was doing later in the evening. I'm sorry" I said that I was OK with her suggesting 4:30 pm but I said "It's so sweet that you would even think to say that. Thank you"
Later I picked up the girls at their Mom's and Voldy was in one of her fine moods. The girls warned me "Mommy's mad". Apparently she got into it with D18 about university. She also got a few shots in about yours truly, saying I don't spend enough time with the girls, I don't do anything regarding D 18's university blah blah blah "maybe I should just do nothing like your father" Ah, I can feel the love. She handed me a pile of university stuff and said "I expect you to read this and report to me on what you have read" I just burst out laughing and walked away. hey, you want me to read something then just say "could you please read these, I don't have time and we'll discuss it later" She's a gem. So it would also seem she still has herself all worked up about SDA Lady. When she says that I'm not spending enough time with the girls, that's what it means. I will ignore this evenings display of idiocy, my girls do. But if she continues to bad mouth me in front of my kids she'll be hearing from me. To say I do nothing is a huge joke. Last week, on her week with the kids I drove them to appointments on four evenings. The gratitude is overwhelming. Oh well, she is what she is.
So that's my day.

Good start, bad ending huh? She is definitely a piece of work! Of course.....it's all about her and her suffering right? I know a few people like that and they make me crazy!

Glad you had a nice dinner with your sweet lady. She seems like one of a kind for sure!

D18 says re Voldy "she always wants to do stuff with us but then all she does is complain about it, so why do it then?" and "she's always complaining that she does so much for us and we don't appreciate her" Yes, sounds familiar! You are dead on Mish, it's all about her, always has been and always will be. In all the years I've known her she's never learned to bite her tongue when she's like this, she just lashes out and punishes. She's her own Avenger! To be fair, she has taken the lead in the University stuff and I always tell people how glad I am that she is so driven because I'm not as on top of it as she is. But, if you have an issue with my involvement, then discuss it with me. She knows I am always ready to do what needs to be done. But, again, that's her. The girls didn't allow her to put a dent in their spirits, they just ignore it and carry on. They were singing in the car on the way home lol.
As for SDA Lady, she sure is one of a kind and I appreciate who she is more and more each day.

Btw, yesterday SDA Lady also gave me some hand cream and lip baum she'd bought for me. She said "you look after me and I look after you" I told her that I liked the way she personally applied lip baum to my lips, she smiled and said "well, then we'll have to do that more often" lol.

Hmmm.... I knew your ex would get nasty when she knew you were dating someone. Her loss...

Just ignore her and her "more of the same" crap. She doesn't sound like a Happy Camper. Good that your girls can brush her off - but do they really? It does get a bit tiring after a while no doubt.

Do you share regarding University stuff. Neither parent should ever carry all the burden and it IS a lot of work. My ex did squat - I always shouldered it all. And know what that made me to him? A "control freak". Hmmm.... C said that taking charge and being controlling are 2 different things. But regardless - your ex's approach was nasty. She should be spelling out clearly what she would like from you and you should be offering help. Oh - in a perfect world...

Nice that you had dinner out. Sounds like a good date.

Barb

Voldy is so anal that she takes over everything and runs the show but then gets upset when she seems to have to run the show! I've always been more than willing to do what needs to be done. She's just annoying as hell, every conversation about university she has with D18 turns into a nasty brawl. Could I be more on top of it, most likely but when someone is annoying as hell you tend to want to stand back a bit lol. Anyway, I've read things over and advised D18 to stop dicking around and accept U of T's offer. Once the offer is accepted then she can apply for OSAP and she's hoping to live in residence and in order to see if this is feasible she needs to see what OSAP will give her. So that's my contribution. What more I need to do is beyond me, I'll check with the Commander and Chief later...once I've handed in my required report lol.

Just to be clear, I have been involved in the process. I do wait for her to tell me what needs to be done or discussed because she's taken the lead on this and has friends who are going through the same process, I don't.

Here's a good one, from the girl who wants to live independently in residence next school year. "Daddy, can start packing me a lunch in the mornings" (I live a block from school so she usually comes home for lunch). I said "you can make your own lunch" her reply "but Daddy I don't have time in the mornings" I said "if you want lunch you will find the time" D says "then couldn't you just give me lunch money instead" me "no, you want lunch, you make it. Try making it the night before" D18 "but it will be soggy"
Now she's pissed at me 'cuz I won't get up early to make her lunch. Hey, now she has something in common with her Mom lol!

My kids had to make their lunches the night before. Sometimes they would make the sandwich part in the morning so it would taste better(like pb and J. My kids did this from 1st grade on. Now the three younger ones are willing to try hot lunch at school. they have always been really picky, so I figure this helps them try some different things. lol

kat

I worked evenings - often got home after 10 (after putting in a full day with 3 kids in school). My ex was in charge of making school lunches - sometimes in the morning, sometimes the night before. When he left - I felt like the lunch making would be the straw that broke the camel's back - even though it was only for Ashley at that point. So I asked her to make her own lunch (she was 12). She said she could handle it as long as I always kept lots of lunch foods on hand. Which I did. And we never had a problem with uneaten lunches - she made healthy choices and it may have been one of the reasons she ended up studying nutrition.

It's important to learn how to take care of yourself in all aspects. She is not too young for that.

Barb

She just tried again! "If I have to get up any earlier I'll just die" Uh, yeah OK. She then said "Mommy would do it!" Nice try kid. I said "Hey, how be you grab a bagel, slap on some ham and presto you got a sandwich!" She even tried "just tomorrow then"... Nope.

Teenage girls - there is ALWAYS drama! And Ashley continued to live at home (and work and go to school) until a year ago when I moved away and she got her apt at age 23! And even then it went on a bit. But miraculously - she has changed so much. First she was sure she would not be able to afford a thing (& I helped her out a bit), then she started posting on FB "Don't it always seem to go - you don't know what you've got till it's gone". Soon after, she started managing to still enjoy going out and this month she got a room mate and I have stopped helping her with her car insurance and rent. And she still calls me to chat, check up on me or out of concern for her brother. YES folks - they DO grow up eventually and become caring, loving adults. We did not totally destroy them by not giving them everything, doing everything for them or by getting divorced!

Gotta give your daughter credit for persistence. Don't let her wear you down or pull the "Mom would do it" card. Yeah right!

Barb

Thanks for the reminder. My son is a great kid even though I've been divorced form his dad since he was 2(he's now 22). Even knowing that I still feel lately like his 8 year old sister is getting shortchanged which I need to get over. Its mostly me that feels that even though most of the time she seems much better. Her 17 year old sister is having a harder time with things.

That's what I have to look forward to huh.

Don't worry, CTH, the Mom's get it worse with teenage daughters...something to look forward too!
I took D18 out Prom dress shopping and I scored big...I mean she did, a dress for $59.99. It looks nice, fits nice and was cheap cheap cheap! We are celebrating with hot dogs for dinner. At the store I texted SDA lady "We're at Danielle's Bridal...u need anything lol ?" She replied "I'm good for now thanks!"
So after hot dogs it's off to SDA book group. Later Dbers.

Wow, I had a very moving experience tonight. On some Saturday evenings I go to a church service at a church about 15 minutes from me. Tonight the Pastor was talking about restoration. At the end of the sermon he took a stool and an elder joined him on stage. They had a conversation where the Pastor told the congregation that he was taking a leave of absence. Apparently, and this is public knowledge already, he lost his marriage 2.5 years ago.He told the congregation that he was in pain and now was the time to come to terms with where his life was and to restore himself. He said that he'd always been one of those people who thought that if you followed God's word and did all the right things, nothing bad would happen. He compared himself to Job. He said that when life didn't work out that way he'd planned and he had a lot of soul searching to do. He's in counselling now and is taking time off to come to peace with his life and his faith. he said in the last 2.5 years he's pushed a lot of feeling stuff aside but now it's time to deal with it head on. Wow! I felt very emotional while listening to him. He said "I can hug you and tell you God loves you and mean it with all my heart but I can't do the same thing for myself right now" Here is a man who got up in front of the whole congregation (and he will do it again twice tomorrow) and says "I lost my marriage and I'm in pain". Afterwards I approached him, holding back tears and said "Pastor, I lost my marriage four years ago. I know the pain you're going through. It's one of the most horrible pains you'll ever feel. I just want to give you a hug, wish you the best and let you know that it will get better" He thanked me, we hugged and I said goodnight. God works in mysterious ways, I hope I gave that Pastor something tonight, I know he gave me something. Pray for this man Dbers, he's one of us!

That is a wonderful pastor. He is openly showing his congregation an example of God's love by sharing his own weakness. Our pastor does the same. When someone who has his life rooted in The Word stands up and talks about their own struggles it helps those who are afraid to admit they need help to seek it.

He is added to my prayer list!!!

A wonderful day with SDA Lady. We came back to my place to work on her resume but somehow the resume never got started...but lots of other stuff did

WOO HOO!!!!!

Originally Posted By: mishka422

WOO HOO!!!!!

Thanks Mish. It was a very special afternoon. To feel so physically and emotionally connected to someone I care about was awesome. Btw, we didn't do "you know what", and that was fine, but it was pretty hot and steamy and a few articles of clothing did manage to find the floor somehow lol. Somehow when you've been alone for a long time you forget how good it feels to hold someone like that and know that they care for you in the same way you care for them. I feel so blessed to have met her, she's a very special lady (and she thinks I'm a pretty special guy!)We talked together afterwards about how it felt as neither of us has been that intimate with anyone for a long time. We decided that Genesis is correct when it says that man was not meant to be alone

When I dropped her off we kissed before she got out of the car and then she turned and blew me a kiss. She then walked up the stairs, turned and waved. When she unlocked the front door, she turned and waved again. Once inside she peeked out the window and blew me another kiss. She's a sweetheart, I think i'll keep her

Btw, her sister from Alaska phoned while we were having diner and I chatted with her for a few minutes. SDA Lady texted me this morning and said her sister was very impressed with me. That's nice to hear.

Wii:

I"m so happy for you! Sounds like things are where they are supposed to be. Would you have thought a year ago that you could be so deliriously happy today? I'm just glad that you did what you had to do to find your happy place again with the right person.

Barb

Thanks Barb. Before the hot and steamy stuff we decided to watch a movie and we snuggled together on the couch. She then lay down and put her head on my lap and wrapped my arm around her. After awhile she said "Whatis, I'm falling asleep" so I told her to go ahead and rest and so she did. I held her and with my other free hand I stroked her head and her cheek as she slept. Wow, what an amazing feeling, I felt such peace ...it's been a long time

Well - if we're going to share the REALLY mushy stuff - let me say this...

Josh wraps his arms around me all night every night we're together (3 nights a week). The comfort this has brought me most nights (occasionally it gets too hot or uncomfortable) - is amazing! It moved me to a better place and when Ryan was in a coma last year - I would have died without that I think.

Barb

I can understand that completely Barb! Thanks for sharing that mushy stuff

My ex and I slept that way too. One of my love languages is physical touch, so I miss that part. Although I must say, now I'm so used to sleeping alone, I'm a little afraid if I do get a steady boyfriend, that their snoring or wiggling might bug me!

Wii - I'm so glad for you that things are going well.

Last night SDA Lady called me at about 8:30pm. Her employer had just moved and they were in the process of unpacking and apparently it was a disaster. She said she was exhausted (she started at 7 am) and her employer has no food on hand and doesn't seem interested in getting any for dinner. I said that I'd be glad to go pick her up something and drop it by the house. She was very grateful and asked if I could get Congee for her. So I did so, it took about 25 minutes to drive over and 25 to drive back, no big deal. She phoned me at 11 saying she just finished work and thanked me for doing what I did for her, she then broke down in tears "Whatis, I'm so scared you'll think I'm taking advantage of you. I asked you to bring me food and it's a long trip for you, you don't just live across the street. You mean so much to me. I have you to talk to and I know you'll listen and understand. I'm scared that you'll not want me anymore..." I said "Sweetheart, you're very tired right now and I'm not going anywhere. We take care of each other, right? Hey, I'm glad to help you because I know you really care for me. Besides, you don't ask for anything very often anyway. You just get your rest and don't worry. I'm here!" yes, she was tired. I hope she's feeling better today.

Well, things are looking up. She was able to find her underwear this morning, she couldn't find the box last night ! I replied to her text "the nice guy part of me is happy for you but the naughty part was hoping you'd never find the underwear lol!" She replied "then that makes you 100% a man lol" and I said "u better believe it, baby". She seems to be herself again. She always bounces back

You guys are so cute! You make puppies seem hard and cynical.

BTW, it brings a smile to my face ... the cuteness, that is. I hope you never lose that in your R.

Thanks Being Me! SDA Lady and I have a really nice rapport. We both enjoy being silly but we also know that underneath that is a real warmth and caring. We actually talked about how we feel about each other last night. It was nice to share those thoughts with each other.
She also told me last night that she has arranged a meeting with her employers on Friday morning to tell them "enough is enough". She is willing to give notice unless they reduce her hours and responsibilities. She works approximately 73 hours per week and the house they've moved into is 50% larger than the last one. She was also told yesterday that she needed to put the kids to bed one evening per week as the wife plans to attend a cooking class...so she can learn recipes that SDA Lady can cook for them! SDA Lady says "I'm not happy here, I've had enough of them" So, if they don't give her some reductions she will give her notice. She's been there four years and her best friend said yesterday "I know you love the kids but you're not loving yourself if you continue to stay and work like this. Where's your life?" She's right. So tomorrow, we'll see what happens.

I've booked a massage for this evening. The shoulders and neck are in a sorry state of repair! Too much driving the last few weeks. This should calm things down...and lighten my wallet by 80 bones too lol.

Wii: I'll give her a job. Starts immediately. Reasonable hours although you'd be a couple of hours away and wouldn't like that. Nice place to I've her and I'm a nice person(really).

Barb

Very tempting Barb...but I gotta say NO! Hey, come to think of it, I'd probably see her as much as I do now anyway lol.

I'm not sure if either of you is kidding, but I wouldn't shut down the conversation so quickly. It could work beautifully.

Or, ignoring distance, would it just be too weird?

I was going to say you see her one day a week...what is a little distance. You already text quite a bit, that wouldn't change. Why don't you let HER decide since it would be HER job.

kat

Nope - I was honestly NOT KIDDING! Would not be too weird for me.

Wii - Josh and I went several years with just seeing ourselves once a week - then overnight then 2 nights a week. Now we are 3 nights a week but he commutes from the same city as you. (ahhh - you 2 could Car Pool).

But God works in mysterious ways. If it's meant to be...

I have a new friend (since last summer) who owns the house next door to me but does not live in it. She is in her 70s. We hit it off immediately when we met and I learned she had a place in Fort Myers. I've seen her there more than here. Anyway - she is selling her house here and when it sells - she will give notice to her renters. This week I saw her and asked her about the cabin on the property - it is adorable - always wanted to rent it but she can't rent both the house and the cabin separately but now that she will be living in it - that changes everything. It has its own 3 piece bath, full bedroom and small sitting room/kitchen. My thoughts were that I could use it as a nanny suite without having the nanny right in the house. And in the interim (until it was available) - we have lots of room in our house to house a nanny - we just want to keep that for visiting family.

So the wheels are turning in my head. It would be cheaper for me to rent a nanny cabin than to pay that $ to the agency. And I'm no slave driver!

Barb

SDA Lady is meeting with her employers right now. She decided not to wait till tomorrow. She texted asking me to pray for a good outcome. Any of your prayers are welcome too, Dbers

Sending prayers. When you reach the point where you can't take it anymore - it is very stressful. I've been through it with employees and agencies. My son is going through it at his job right now too. It's tough but sometimes things have to fall apart in order to come back together the way they're supposed to.

Barb

Thanks Barb. She has given her employer three weeks notice. Thankfully things are ending well with the employer. SDA Lady wants to try and work for the agency her best friend works for. It's non-caregiver work as she says she's tired of doing that for now. So the fun begins.

Now she has to find a place to stay...hmmmm.

kat

I thought she didn't have immigrant status or a work permit and that is why they were able to take advantage of her. If she does - she should have been entitled to much better work conditions.

Barb

She has an open work permit which means she can work anywhere. She isn't under the Live in Caregiver program any longer, that's a two year contract. She's been with this employer for four years. They've offered her eight hours on Saturday's but she doesn't want to do it. She wants to move on. Last night we reviewed ads on the internet for live in caregivers but she's more interested in working through the agency that her best friend works for, which is just manual labour type jobs. We'll see. The positive side to this is that she does have money stashed away (about 30 grand that I'm aware of) so she can afford not to have a job for a little while. She has a friend who offered her a room a while back but that friend is presently in the Philippines and won't be back till the end of May. If worse comes to worse I might be able to arrange for her to stay at my Mom's for a bit. Mom has a big house and is alone. We'll see.

...and as far as working conditions, these ladies are scared to put up a fuss about anything because they're afraid it will hurt their application for Permanent Status. She won't apply for EI because she's heard that it will effect her application as well. Her employers are giving her vacation pay, as the legally have to, and with any luck (she's not counting on it) they will give her some kind of bonus for her four years of service. Again, we'll see.

Well, SDA Lady has put the feelers out into the Filipino community and as of last night she has been offered three places she can stay by friends. She's also been given numbers for employment agencies which others have used. She was in good spirits last night, talking about the nice friends she has...and, of course, how lucky she is to have me. Her church friends are also going to put word out today and we'll see what comes from that. At least she won't be homeless...or staying with me (as he lets out a huge sigh of relief!). I'd offered that if nothing else came up she would be welcome to stay short term with me. She was against that, "what would your children think!" Besides, she said, my grocery bill for fruit would be huge if she stayed with me lol.
Tonight I'm going out with Voldy and the girls to celebrate D15's birthday, which was Wednesday. Weather is beautiful today!

This morning I woke up at 5:30 am with a headache. I was supposed to go at 9 to a four hour church orientation at an evangelical church I like but four hours and a headache seemed a bad combo. I went to the chiropractor and then decided I had time to go to the SDA Church I go to on Saturday's some weeks. Now, the SDA is very conservative and everybody dresses up for church. So Whatis waltzed in with T-shirt and jeans...hey, God didn't give a sh!t, why should they! I texted SDA Lady "Hey, I'm at Willowdale SDA...and I'm wearing jeans. I'm a rebel!" she replied "...and sneakers too I'll bet!" Wow, how'd she know lol.

Hm, SDA Lady just texted me "Employer juz approached me, she's changed her mind." I replied "is she offering u better hours?" and SDA Lady said "Yes, I'm so happy! I'll call tonight" Wow, SDA Lady played hardball and employer buckled. She probably couldn't stand the thought of doing her own housework lol. Can't wait to hear the details.

Woo hoooooo!

SDA Lady will now be working Monday to Friday 7 am - 5 pm (reduced from 7 am -8:30 pm) with Saturdays and Sundays off. She also told them that she would be no longer be doing work in her room after hours, what isn't done will wait till the next day.They agreed to all her demands. She's a happy camper tonight!

She was working 73 hours per week! And yes, that leaves more time for us too...hooray!

Ummm - my reply seems to have disappeared. Anyway - WAY TO GO!

Barb

Awesome! That is how you get what you need....stand up for yourself.

Go strong SDA lady! Now, she must follow through.

yes, that will be the key. I asked her yesterday what she's going to do with her first 5:00pm evening. She said "I'm going to take my dinner downstairs, so they can't ask me to do other things, then I'm gonna lie down for a bit and then iron" I asked what she was going to iron "Well, the bedsheets need to be done and the boys school uniforms" We had a talk about how she's going to have to learn to leave things undone! I said "you are your number one priority right now, not bedsheets or school uniforms. The focus here is to re-energize so that you're ready to find work or go to school. You have to stick to your perimeters here" She said I was right and her girlfriend had told her the same thing that afternoon. I told her that I know it's hard for her to leave things undone but sheets do not need to be ironed and the boys can wear the same uniforms for another day, if necessary. So today she texted me a good morning and that today she starts working till 5:00pm. She was going to ask her employer if today was the start date. I said "you just tell her "btw, I'm starting 7-5 today, don't ask" So, I texted "Hooray, first day of freedom. No ironing after hours either, right?" She replied "hehehe...lots of stuff to iron so that won't be starting today!" She just can't stop herself...small steps, small steps lol. But, at least she'll be ironing a few hours earlier in the evening rather than 10:00pm! It's a work in progress.

Btw, yesterday we went to a walking/biking trail that stretches along Lake Ontario. After our walk we sat on a bench and listened to the water. SDA Lady also widened her knowledge of different bird types and got lots of tulip photos. We had a nice dinner at Applebees afterwards and I drove her home to the new 2.5 million dollar fortress she now resides in. She also bought a 12 pack of water which is now stored in the trunk of my car so that "we'll always have water on our dates". First the water, then the condoms...lol.

Poor SDA Lady! A friend of hers called her yesterday and asked her whether she and I were having sex. She said to SDA Lady "You must be enjoying it, you haven't done it in a long time" SDA Lady was not impressed. She told her that she does not discuss these kinds of things with people and that she's not looking for s-e-x, she's looking for a relationship.
Last night her employer managed to keep her working till 6:00 pm and has asked her tonight to mind the kids. I told her that she needs to refresh employers memory as to what the agreement is. She's pissed and rightly so!

Well.....you could see that coming right?

They've taken advantage of her for so long that they aren't going to give it up now unless she enforces her boundaries she laid out.

Wii: Keep in mind that this is SDA's problem - not yours. She is still someone new in your life but she is an adult and can make up her own mind what she will and won't tolerate. It's ok to be a cheerleader once in a while but enough about poor SDA lady.

As for the S-E-X - that's nobody's business but the 2 of you. But I'm kind of surprised she brought it up to you. It's like she is wondering if there is something wrong with the 2 of you not doing it yet. But whatever...

JOB = SDA's lady's business with her employer

SEX = Wii & SDA lady's business

nuff said?

Barb

Good point Barb! She did tell me she was upset about it, but she knows she's gonna have to enforce the boundaries, she doesn't need me to tell her! I did say last night that this is a big change for her and for them, so there may be some adjustment time necessary. But, as Mish said, their history is to take advantage so she needs to be vigilant.
As far as sex, I was kind of floored, as was she, that her friend would even say that stuff... she's not even a close friend. And we do talk about having sex (in fact, we discussed it two nights ago) but have decided we don't want to rush it, when the time is right it will happen but it's not a priority. So yeah, that's between her and I, none of her friends business.

Quote:

when the time is right it will happen but it's not a priority

Wii, I'm so glad you and SDA lady found each other, and that this works for you. I gotta admit, though - can't ever remember when sex wasn't a priority! lol

I hear ya, kml lol! In any relationship I've had previously sex was pretty dominant and fast. Voldy and I never did it but we were ripping clothes off left, right and center every week! SDA lady and I touch and are very affectionate and have had one heavy make out session but we don't want sex to overpower the relationship. That's what happened previously I found. Once you start doing it everything else becomes secondary which is not great for a R. So, we are going slow and building our caring and trust first...and then I'm gonna put the wood to her lol.

Tonight I'm going out with SDA Lady. We're planning to have a nice walk in the park but she says if it's too cool she'll stay in the car. I suggested that if it was too cool we could just stay in the car and make out lol! We spent much of the weekend together. On Saturday we went to church and then to a park where we sat by a pond eating blackberries and raspberries. We're also planning to see each other Friday evening and Saturday this week. We're going to church in the Saturday morning and the zoo in the afternoon. This week SDA Lady's employer asked her if she would be willing to work evenings and take a few hours off during the day, she said NO. She said she'd be willing to start at 8 instead of 7 and work till 6, if that would be of help. Employer wasn't interested.
I spent the afternoon on Mother's Day with my Mom. I gave her a 2 hour spa visit for this Friday. She's never had a facial before, so it'll be a first. Btw, she just bought a condo and is selling the house I grew up in. Another milestone.
So that's my update.

Well, it took an hour and ten minutes to pick up SDA Lady due to an accident on the highway. So, rather than the park, we ended up at the foodcourt at the mall. After walking around the mall, and purchasing a new belt for me, I drove her home. We cancelled Friday night cuz we're getting together Saturday ...and we're old and tired people lol. SDA Lady's friend just got her medical which usually means one more month before she'll be coming to Canada. SDA Lady is looking forward to being liberated from her shackles! Her friend is taking over her care giving job...lucky her.

So where's she going to work?

Barb

She doesn't know! She plans to get a room first and then look for a job. She's not wanting to be a Caregiver but is willing to try anything else. Her employer told her today that when her friend arrives to take her place she's welcome to stay in their home while she looks for work and her employer also said she'll help her find a job. Her husband owns a company and they've told her before that she could work there if she'd like. She texted me today telling me this news but was also doubtful, as her employer is not in her good books of late. I said "hey, don't look a gift horse in the mouth. They're people with money and connections. You can still look for a job and accept any help that is offered. Every little bit helps!" She replied "Yes, you are right. Miss U!" So, we shall see.

Again, her plan is to go to school at a private collegge near my place that teaches drug manufacturing (yeah I know,we've done those jokes before folks!). She has to have her Permanent Resident status before she can do that though. To my knowledge she has about 30 thou stashed away for this purpose. She's just looking for a job to pay the bills while she waits. She knows three people who have gone through the course and are all employed in the drug manufacturing industry and making a fair living. So, that's the long term and hopefully, after waiting now for two years, her PR status will not take much longer. But, because she's bringing in her daughter it takes ages.

A nice day with SDA Lady yesterday. We went to church in the morning and then came back to my place. She wanted to stop at a store to pick up some items so she could could dinner for us but, being Jewish Sabbath, the store was closed. Oh well. We came back to my place snuggled on the couch and she fell asleep in my lap. We never did get to the Zoo. She then got a phone call and apparently we had been invited to her cousins for a BBQ in the evening. So, off we went to get a cake, and spent the evening at my first Filipino BBQ. One of her friends said "when you two get married I want to be your Maid of Horror!" It was a nice evening. I dropped her at home about 11:30pm.
Today I went to church and later I'm meeting my best friend for dinner. Maybe SDA Lady and I will hit a park this afternoon, we'll see.

Today SDA Lady and I went to a Pioneer Village for the afternoon. We had a wonderful time. It's great to have a partner that will actually take pictures of all the stupid things I do. Check out my FB page for the latest "church" adventure. Poor SDA Lady she was rolling in the pews laughing while trying to take the picture of me I wanted...that's why it's a little fuzzy. Afterwards we went to a park and snuggled together under a shady tree...sharing an orange and a lots of kisses. Later we went out for dinner...and she insisted on paying (you gotta love that in a woman!). When I dropped her off I told her how much I enjoyed our weekend together, we saw each Saturday, Sunday and Monday. She kissed me and said "the more I see you, the more I want to see you!" So sweet.
Btw, Happy Victoria Day everybody!

Happy Victoria Day Wii!

Sounds like the perfect w/e for you! And it is really nice that you are both getting to spend more time together. That's awesome!

Barb

SDA Lady and I are setting up my best friend with one of her friends. She talked to her friend and part of her sell job was, "Whatis and his friend are at an age now where they are seriously looking for a R, they aren't looking to play around" Hey, I think she just said that I'm old! She grilled her friend, it was so funny. She said "he's your best friend and sounds like a nice man. I want him to have a good experience and meet someone nice" She's on a mission! She says that if this one doesn't work out, she's got lots more possibilities. My best friend doesn't stand a chance lol.

Hey, Voldy is going away for three days...hooray! Last night she was on the phone fighting with D15 and I was in my room. I could hear my daughter crying "no Mommy, please don't" So I came out and it took all my strength not to intercede. Voldy was pissed about something, probably that the child had spoken to her disrespectfully and was threatening to phone the school and have D15 taken off the school track team. Typical Voldy bullying. when you're mad, instead of walking away and returning to the subject when you're cooler, you pull out all the big guns. Wow, how many years have I seen this! Finally, daughter and mother calmed down and it ended peacefully. Part of me wanted to jump in and protect daughter but I have to realize that daughter is old enough now to deal with her mother on her own. If Voldy had of said she was going to pull daughter I would have been on the phone immediately. We co-parent, she doesn't just make those kinds of decisions unilaterally...uh uh! Daughter is so proud of her track & field status, just got her hoody yesterday with her name and school name etc. and, of course, Voldy has to spoil it. So, I let them work it out, hard as that was. When we were together I used to jump in and take the blows for the kids when she was overboard. I try to stand back now and recognize that the girls and their mother have to work out their own relationship. Bye bye Voldy...won't miss you for three days! I talked to SDA Lady last night about it and she was very understanding and supportive. It was nice to have someone to share with how I was feeling. It's so hard to stand back and see my baby hurting but, at least, all turned out well. They agreed to commumnicate better in the future...whatever that means.

Hey, I understand, you're waiting for me lol!

oops, wrong thread.

Picked up D15 at gymnastics tonight. While there I texted SDA Lady.

Me: "I'm at the gymnastics club, it really stinks bad in here!"
SDA Lady: "Then go outside"
Me: "Wow, you really are the brains of this couple, aren't u. Thx"

What would I do without her practical wisdom to guide me through this life lol.

Nice day today. SDA Lady and I went to church in the morning and afterwards went to a Filipino restaurant for lunch. We then headed to my Mom's as she was having her first house showing. She bought a condo and is now selling the house. Unfortunately, the Agent told me that Mom had just gone out with my sister and wouldn't be back until the showing was over. So I gave SDA lady a tour of the home I grew up in. We then went to the park for an hour or so, at the end of my street. and I took her home as she is babysitting tonight to make a little extra cash. Tomorrow I'm picking her up in the early afternoon and we are coming back to me place to work on her resume...again. Last time other activities arose which got in the way. But this time...we'll see. Afterwards we're planning to go out and buy some salmon and other things and cook dinner together. Should be fun.
Picked my D18 up from her Mom's this evening, as last night was her Prom night and she slept over at her Mom's with three other friends. Voldy still wasn't home. D18 had a wonderful, memorable night and that's all that really counts.
That's it for now dbers. I'm off to the park for my hour walk. I'm trying to ditch some weight.

Things are looking up, up, and away in your life, Wii. I'm so glad for you.

Originally Posted By: gabbysmom23

You should have taken that chance to do it in your childhood bed:)

Hey, if I had of said to her "let's do it" she probably would have dropped to her knees...and started praying lol! I think it's an Adventist reflex action to the words "do it". Well, to be fair, later on we did do it! We went to the Shoppers Drug Mart 20X the points sale and when we left she exclaimed "we did it!" after she spent the required $50 to score those points. It was better than sex...ok, maybe not lol.

Originally Posted By: BeingMe

Things are looking up, up, and away in your life, Wii. I'm so glad for you.

Thanks Being Me. I feel like I've found a very special lady...and she feels that way about me, except that I'm a man lol.

Hey Wii,

I have a foolproof salmon recipe. Well - if you have a bbq. Anyway - you soak a cedar plank in water for at least an hour (submerge it in the sink and hold it down with something heavy).

Marinate your salmon with a mixture of Montreal Steak Spice and pure Maple Syrup. (How Canadian can you get?). Then heat the cedar plank on the bbq and cook the salmon on it, turning after app 10 min. Check to make sure it flakes and is barely pink inside - don't overcook it.

Boil some new potatoes and add a green salad. Perfect dinner!

We did it today too! Umm, I mean - we drove our boat all the way to the Muskoka Wharf. Said we were going to do it for over a year. And WE DID IT!

Barb

Sounds great Barb...but I live in an apartment, no balcony and no BBQ. I could boil the potatoes though lol.

Well, resume writing might be postponed again. We're thinking of going to Doors Open Toronto and touring a Muslim Mosque and a Hindu Temple. We'll review the list of possibilities tomorrow.

Yes, we ended up at the mosque and the Hindu Temple today. SDA Lady asked me if her best friend could come too. She hasn't seen her in a few months and bff had the day off so I said OK. So the three of us went for the tours, went to the park afterwards and then to dinner. Another fun day and I enjoyed meeting her friend, a lovely lady.

SDA Lady posted some photos of one of our excursions on FB yesterday. She doesn't post pictures of me or the two of us because she doesn't want her daughter to know about us as of yet. She wants to be able to sit down and talk to her face to face when she comes to Canada. Fair enough. yet one of friends, who doesnt' know about me, from the Philippines commented "you look so happy and in love. Your pictures say it all!" Oops.

Oops indeed! Ya can't hide love unless you're in a MLC.

The humidex is 39 degrees C so I decide to do my hour walk tonight anyway. It's funny how I don't sweat until I'm finished then it pours off me! Ok tmi. While I was walking SDA lady texted me "Don't push yourself too much sweetie. UR doing great! Be sure to drink lots of water" It always touches me when she says such things. For so many years I was ignored and abused. This is nice

Ahh...isn't it nice to enjoy those qualities that are DIFFERENT from our exes?

The men I've dated since my ex have included:
A messier man (which I actually enjoyed, because my H is kind of a clean freak)

A man who insisted I eat ice cream with him every night (nice, because my ex was a nazi about sweets)

Men who have all praised my physical attributes (nice, because my H was always picking at my flaws)

There are reasons - mostly good reasons, I suppose - that we all were attracted to our exes. But there's something very w=sweet about enjoying these different facets in a new relationship. And the hope of finding someone who is an even better match.

Very true, Kml.
I told her tonight how much I enjoy getting those sweet and supportive messages from her and she said "it's because I care about you!" She's a sweetheart and it's so nice that the caring goes both ways.

This morning I texted SDA lady, "Maayu nga aga (good morning). Hope you have a wonderful day. Every day I am thankful to have you in my life :)" she replied "Thanx, me too! Feel so blessed to have met a nice, sweet, loving guy like u. Have a great day too!" It's so nice to feel you can just say something loving when you feel it and know that the other person will do the same for you. It's just nice. OK, enough mushiness now, it's time to get back to work and kick some ass lol.

Btw, my mother has sold her house...in less thyan two days and $25 thousand over the asking price. She sold it to a nice family, she said. She could have gotten more from a renovator but she told the agent "I want this house to go to a family" and it did. Closing date is the end of July and she takes over her condo in mid July. A new step for her and a goodbye to the house I was raised in. Onwards and upwards Mom!

WOW! That's amazing!

The real estate market up there must be 1000 times better than here.

Good for her!

It's insane up here! My Mom's house doesn't even have a finished basement, air conditioning and who knows what else. But, it sold in two days. People keep buying because they are afraid they'll be priced out if they don't buy now. I think it's a big bubble that's gonna burst and the fallout won't be pretty. Of course, the experts don't agree, cuz they're making money!

Well, I'm glad your mom got the benefit of it.

Thanks Being Me. It's all gone very well. She has a wonderful agent who has helped her through the whole process and been very supportive. It's a big move leaving the home she's lived in for 53 years and raised her family in. She got a good price and is thrilled with the condo she's purchased. Sad to see the old place go but that's life, we must move onwards

SDA lady had a blowout with her employer yesterday, The Wicked Witch of the West. SDA lady had agreed to babysit for them last Saturday evening, which is now one of her days off. yesterday she texted me that employer had not paid her for it. She planned to approach her immediately. Employer refused to pay her stating "it's part of your job" and SDA lady said "It's part of my job to work for free on my day off?" It got worse. Finally, SDA Lady said that employer could either pay her or she quits! Employer said "you get free room and board and don't pay for your food" and SDA lady said "that's because the contract you set up and agreed to said I didn't have to pay for those things!" Then the Wicked Witch says "when you were hired we told you we needed you on Saturdays" to which SDA lady said "and when I told you I needed to reduce my hours you suggested I take Saturday off" At one point SDA Lady said "You aren't the only employer on the planet. I know there's a shortage of caregivers in this country. I'm not stupid!" Finally, on husbands instructions, the Wicked Witch agreed to pay her...but at a rate below minimum wage. Again, SDA lady demanded her legal wage. This woman is just like a chicken pecking you to death. She will agree to things but never abide by them and constantly push the boundaries until she gets what she wants. In the end, SDA lady agreed to work Saturday's again, which is what Wicked Witch wants! She demanded $100 per day and to start at 1 pm rather than noon so she can attend church. Wicked Witch says "but the boys need their lunch at noon, this is highly inconvenient" OMG, this woman can't slap a sandwich together once a week so her Nanny of five years can go to church! Employer also said "I've noticed that you never finish work at 5:00 pm so why don't we make 5:30 pm your new finish time" SDA Lady said "I don't finish at 5 because you keep giving me work to do!" Sh never stops! I said to SDA lady "I've always tried to keep an open mind about her. I try to see her good side. Today all I see is a manipulative, self serving bitch" SDA Lady says "I know you're upset at my decision. I'm sorry. But we still have church on Saturday and Sunday will always be yours. It's only two more months sweetie" She was right, part of me felt rejected and I told her later in the evening that I did have those fleeting feelings. She said "I knew you did. But you know it's not true, I love being with you" I felt I should be honest about how I felt. She knew it anyway.
Wow, how she stands this woman is beyond me. Two more months.

The same way you stood Voldermort!

Originally Posted By: kat727

The same way you stood Voldermort!

Good point lol! Amazingly, it's often harder seeing someone else go through such situations than to go through them yourself! Today SDA Lady said about yesterday "when someone throws stones at you, you throw them bread. I'm a Christian and I'm going to live that way." She is something, isn't she.

Wii:

Just a reminder - this is her battle to fight - not yours. Let' s here about Wii - we hear 10 times more about SDA lady than about YOU!

I can relate to the outrageous bitch but also to the caregiving situation. I would NOT be a bitch to work for. It is always an option - maybe she wants to come here for 2 months - we NEED each other!

Anyway - so what's new with WII???

Barb

I got a hair cut! The woman took 30 minutes, that's about 1 minute per hair on my head. At the end, we'd been together so long I was thinking I needed to propose rather than tip her! I also went grocery shopping today (how do you eat Avicado btw?) and I also bought two new pairs of running shoes today, one pair for work and the other for walking/running. I've been walking five times this week and overdid it, of course. But I have lost 2 lbs since last week. My diet is highly healthy and relatively bad fat free. I enjoy Sardines and tomato sauce with an orange for lunch. I have quit drinking coffee except for the periodic Timmy's. yet I'm still hooked on Pepsi Max but I'm working on reducing that...slooooowly. That's it for now. Oh, and I'm investigating which face moisturizer I should be using. Lots happening lol.

Have you never had an avocado???????

My very favorite!

Lots of ways to enjoy it.

Cut it up in salad, slice and put on sandwiches, make guacamole, etc. etc.

How do you eat an avacado? I don't!! Yuck, can't stand them probably because I was forced to eat them as a kid. So many veggies I dislike come from being a kid and having to eat something. I try to have my kids try a bite rather than just say I don't like that. Afterall who dislikes mashed potatos? Yep you guessed it...3 of my 4 kids! lol

kat

Do you know how to cut one?

Pull the stem piece off the end and lay the avocado down on it's side. Cut into the skinny end and turn the avocado on the knife until you have cut around the entire fruit. Grasp both sides and twist and it will separate from the seed. Take your knife and tap down hard with the blade on the seed. Twist and the seed will pop out. Slice the fruit while still in the skin, run a spoon around the edge between the fruit and the skin and it will release from the skin. You can then turn the skin inside out and all your pretty slices will practically fall out. It's SO easy!

Kat, my son doesn't like avocado either. He eats most fruits and vegetables but not that. i asked him what kind of California kid he was not liking avocado. He told me he was one that has lived in Georgia too long. LOL

Thx Mish. I've also become a big fan of Greek yogurt, love the stuff but don't love the price. Toss in some Chia seeds, pumpkin seeds, berries, Psyllium buds and away you go! That was my lunch today. The excitement never ends in the world of Whatis!

Oh yeah, and I'm drinking more Green Tea!

You were right, Mish. I popped that sucker right out of the Avocado, it didn't know what hit it! I sliced the avocado and put it on my Sardine burger...along with sliced black olives. Time for dessert now.

...and I've discovered the delights of Pistachio nuts and renewed my membership in the Cloud Appreciation Society. I'm become nuts for Papaya fruit and I've recently found that I enjoy kneeling while praying. That's my update. I'll keep you guys informed about which face moisturizer I finally end up with. Bye for now.

Hey, I forgot to mention that my turtle Toby is doing well despite his recent breakup with a rock in his aquarium. They were just too different, Toby likes to move around after his 12 hours of basking under the sun lamp and the rock prefers to just lie there and do nothing. It's kind of similar to most marriages when you think about it. Oh well, it's almost time for the baseball game, gotta go.

Yum! I love avocado ... good fat to eat too. My H puts sugar on it ... ew! Check-out foodnetwork-dot-com. Lots of great recipes, and tips on how to handle foods such as avocado. I don't think I could do without coffee. Love Timmy's!

SDA's boss sure is a female dog, 'eh! And a lazy mum, too. As you say, just two months to go.

and, Being Me, the woman doesn't even work! It does amaze me that here is a person who will fork out $2500 for a wallet but balks at paying the woman who cares for and loves your children $45 to babysit. What a mindset! But, that's water under the bridge. Throw bread, throw bread lol.

Some people just don't know how to be rich ... wealth should come with generosity, and gratefulness. And, wealthy people should realize that they're no better or worse than anyone else on this planet. I doubt a $2500 purse will matter in the afterlife, but how you treated people kindly will be a legacy left behind.

OK, finished with my soapbox. Hehehe.

Agreed, Being Me.
Well, SDA Lady and I attended the 8:45 a.m. church service...and then came back to my place to fool around. Seems a bit odd, doesn't it

Btw, she slipped me the tongue today which kind of took me by surprise but I recovered brilliantly lol. Afterwards we had a delightful lunch together consisting of toasted peanut butter sandwiches and we split a grape fruit... while watching the DVD of my choir performance a few years ago. I then drove her home so she could report for duty to the Fuhrer. Tomorrow, we're shopping for face moisturizer for me...I'm leaning towards Clinique right now, but I'm open to alternatives.
In an hour I'm heading over to Voldy's to discuss D18's residence plans for University next year. Can't wait to see how many fights break out between Voldy and D18...well, actually I can.

I forgot to mention this gem! While we were embracing, SDA Lady brushes her hand up my leg and stops on my wallet. She says "Wow, you've got a really big one!"...Can you believe it, I let that go without a comment. You can't imagine how difficult that was for me lol.

he he, Voldy just called me re the residence stuff and she knows nothing...and I actually researched it! Whose the good parent now lol. Gotta go, let the fun begin.

Yes, three and a half hours of discussion re: daughters residence plans. She's gonna go but discovered that the fee and form have to be submitted by Monday noon...at the University Residence Office. She asked if I could go downtown and deliver it and I said No. She wants to be independent than she has to learn to fix her own mistakes. She's going downtown herself. We told her how to get there, mapped it out for her and I said "if you don't find it, you'll be living with us again next year!" I have mixed feelings about this. It's damn expensive to live in residence versus home but it's also a good experience. Whether the money will hold out for her to continue living in residence beyond this year is another story. I guess we'll revisit it next year. I'd rather her be at home as it's far less expensive and she wouldn't have to float a student loan but...we shall see. We've put away enough money for four years of university...if she's at home otherwise she's got to borrow. Hey, Voldy and D18 didn't have one fight in the entire 3.5 hours...that's gotta be a first!
My brain is tired tonight. Bye for now.

I feel bad! When S19 were talking about school ex wasn't around. It was just my son and I. I told him that if he wanted to go to KU he would need to show me that he really wanted to go there by working to get scholarships independent of the University because they only give out really small ones. He didn't do any of the work to get one. So he focused more on the local university.

He had the grades to get scholarships with them. On top of that he got an extra scholarship just for going to a local high school. We agreed since he hadn't been really big on being away from home before he might want to go to the local university and live at home for a couple of years. After that, if he wanted to transfer, he could. I paid my own way through school. It took me an extra year to get done and I kept up my scholarships. He is trying to follow in my footsteps.

kat

I guess there's no right or wrong and there's many paths to getting that education. I just texted D18 to see how her delivery went downtown today. She told me she delivered both documents and the money order. She was trying to find her way back to the subway and thought she'd stop in and check out the residence she'd chosen on the form. I said "Way to go, University girl. Love U"
Yesterday I was downtown with SDA lady, she wanted to get her hair done in Chinatown. Yes, five friekin' hours...how do you women stand it! I went to The World's Biggest Bookstore and hung around there for a few hours, went to down to the Eaton's Centre (which was closed due to 8 people being shot there Saturday afternoon) and wandered the main drag. I haven't doen that in ages. I got back to the hairdressers with what I thought was an hour to go...uh uh, it was 2 hours. Oh well. I got to read half the book I'd purchased, End Time Delusions re: bible prophecy and fallacies about what the bible says and doesn't say about the second coming. Quite intersting. Afterwards, we ended up at East Side Mario's for dinner. SDA Lady told me that the hairdresser asked her if I was her husband. SDA Lady giggled when she told me, "You know what I said, "I hope maybe one day!' "
Today, back to work and still no face moisturizer...how will I get through the week!

That was a date? Ummm - she should not expect you to sit around waiting for her while she gets her hair done. I would never ever book a hair appt during date time. And no hair appt of mine has ever exceeded 2 hours and that includes a pedi and eyebrows most times.

Whatever...

I am horrified by the shootings at the Eaton Center. I heard they have arrested the guy. My first thought was that my son might be shopping. (fortunately not). SO SAD!!!

Anyway - how did the date end up being her hair appt? You don't want to just be a taxi service.

Glad your daughter figured her way around the place.

Barb

Remember Barb, Sunday is her only day off to do anything. We took the subway and streetcar downtown together. She was going to a salon in Chinatown that a friend recommended but her friend couldn't remember the name. So, she couldn't make an appointment. So if she couldn't get in or couldn't find the place we'd just spend the afternoon downtown together. I agreed to go and hang out if she could get in. Neither of us expected five hours! But she's very happy with the results. Anyway, we had a nice dinner together afterwards and enjoyed the ride downtown and back together. I enjoyed some free time to hang out at bookstores. But, I wouldn't want to repeat it again too soon lol

Yeah - I don't blame you.

Barb