Perseverance Pays Off!!! - DivorceBusting.com

Hi all....

It has been several months since I've posted....but wanted to let you all know that it has been just over a year since H and I have come back together.

Last summer went slowly....he moved back in officially in August. We took a nice trip together in Sept. Have had a few moments of angry outbursts....but mostly we wre "working" together on our R. I am one happy person....and know I've been blessed ten-fold.

To all of you struggling....if you feel that you once had the real connection with your S, and want it back.....than be PATIENT....DB your head off.....and PERSERVERE! Take good care of YOURSELF....face your own issues, strengthen yourself....have faith. Read, and re-read DR....and other references many have passed on. Show your S you will be fine with or without them. Cuz you will!

This year has been work too, not all bliss....but what a change that has occurred since 2 years ago, when all this hit the fan. I have been truly blessed.

Wishing all of you similiar blessings....keep on track and take good care of YOU!

Mooka

Thanks for checking in with your update - I was wondering about you just recently, along with a whole lot of other old(ish) timers.

Glad you have good news to report!

Livnlearn

Oh Mooka,
I am at a very different crossroads. Divorced, now getting ready to sell our "dream home." H has bought his own home and is living there with OW now. I never thought my life would turn out this way.

I am so very happy for you.

Hi mooka!

We've all missed you, but I'm glad you've been away due to things being good for you! This piecing stuff can sure keep you busy, can't it?!

So glad that things are going well for you, my friend! Keep up the great work, and way to go on your "perseverance"!!

Thanks, I'm plum shot and good news helps motivate me. But tell me did you just argue or did you go the whole 9 yards and divorce and reconcile?

Hi there my b-day buddy

Its so good to hear that hanging in there can be very worthwhile. It feels wonderful to hear the happy note in your post.

Slowly

Perseverance is more valued than smarts in DBing and most other places. Outstanding. We are happy for you and it's good to see a lesson learned that turns out positive.

Wow...

How great to hear back from you "ol-timers..." you who all hung in there with me, encouraged me when I was struggling and shared of yourselves. I've missed you too!

Will try to catch up with some of your posts, too.

Briefly, for those who don't know my history:

May 03....my suspicions were prover with OW! I
Summer 03, found DR, started counseling, H and I lived together at home with our college-aged kids...tons of tension. H is depression....and MLC, IMHO.
Fall 03....we just lived together, not any connection.
Made it through the holidays, then
March 04 H moved out into an apt. Tough stuff....I was trying so hard to DB all the while....and had a great councelor from Michele's clinic. Worth the 1 hr drive each way....also had phone consults with her.
May 04....H started coming around...on Sundays...to do laundry??? Kept on doing the DBin thing and was really working on ME....spiritually, mentally, physically working out a ton....and getting more into my job/career.

End of May 04...H invited me to the apt for the week-end....treated me like his date....slowly starting pursuing....Then asked to move back in unofficially in June....by Aug 04, he completely moved back in, out of apt. We travelled in Sept, for 2 wks....really reconnected. Since then, continuous hard work, mostly communicating and not taking each other for granted.
Just returned from a wonderful....cruise with him....almost like a 2nd honeymoon.

I am one happy person....and owe it all to God, Michele/Joanne, reading DR several times, and my comrads here on the web.

Continue to take one day at a time, being thankful and knowing I can only control my behavior. I have learned a ton the past 2 years.

I fwomeone wants more info, they could connect my threads...still am not too good at that!

Take care my friends....

Mooka

HI mooka,

I rejoice at your news! It is the same for me and about the same time frame. Excellent. My sitch is like night and day compared to 2 years ago too.

~Cindy

^^

Hello all...been a while, I know. I have a chance to catch up some this morning.

Things at the homefront are going ok....some days really, fine, some not so fine....but nothing like a year and a half ago.

My S continues to slip into himself from time to time....reflecting, distant, and voices very little...other than he's not taking time for himself to enjoy each day....he's worrying about his future. He could retire early, a year from now....and get out of the rat race. In my mind that would be a good thing....his work seems to get the best of him....and he leaves very little for us at home.

His efforts are still there....tho inside, I can read he is struggling. I re-read a few chapters of DR yesterday....the MLC stuff and Depression chapter....he shows some of those behaviors from time to time. I reminded myself to let him be....continue to work on ME...which I am....I am still moving in a forward direction in my spiritual journey, my part-time job, and with my friendships. I continue to put him first prioity....that was one of my downfalls a few years back...when our R eroded big time.

I believe he could use some guidance from a C or paster...but with occaisional nudges....far and few between....he seems to think he can figure stuff out on his own. Oh well....just rambling again.

Will catch up with some of you....that I recognize!!!

Still so thankful for this website and all the compassionate people on the board!

Mooka

Happy Birthday, Mooka !!

Slowly

Hi Mooka,
It is so encouraging to read a success story! I just posted about having a hard time with patience. My H has been in MLC for about 5 yrs. However we just seperated in Jan. and I found out about the OW in April.He has been seeing her for 2 years and I never knew. I guess I've been thinking that he would have made a choice by now, but he still says he doesn't know what he wants. I guess the time frame in my mind is much shorter than reality. Thanks so much for letting us all know how things can work out. I see that it's an ongoing process even after they move back, but I for one am up for it!
Thanks so much!

!!

thanks for your words of encouragement, we need them here! heaven knows how many times I've despaired about being married to a man that doesn't seem to love me. Getting used to the fact that this is a looooong road.