MLC with regret? Artista? - 05/25/18 06:52 AM
Greetings MLC folks! I have been posting in the newcomers forum, but had a couple of MLC questions for the folks here.
My W has displayed a lot of symptoms of MLC, starting about 3 years ago when she turned 30, but intensifying in the year before BD when she really seemed to be entering the "replay" stage.
She is unhappy in the marriage but cant say way. She told me in repeated conversations that it is her not me, that it isnt about anything I did or am doing.
She starts going out with single friends more. Absolutely. Going back months she started going out more and more with the biking crew and now the climbers. She would stay out till two or three a.m without texting me and wonder why I was annoyed.
She tells me that she loves me but is not in love with me. She never used those exact words, but it is exactly what she meant.
Cut off in intimacy. We had sex two or at max three times since January until the separation, three months, and only once after her trip to (home country).
She says that she regrets getting married in the first place and implies that she got married too young.
She is working out more and more.
She wants out of the marriage and pushed for the separation.
She is not willing to work on the marriage.
She is heavily involved in new social groups.
She is spending money and traveling at a much higher rate than before.
She more or less seems to be acting like a spoiled teenager.
She is discontent with her life in general.
She came back from (home country) and started a completely new diet or cleanse, all raw food and plant based with no meat, alcohol, or processed food.
She is scared of getting old and wants to stay young. Even before things got bad she made remarks about not being able to accept the aging process. I kind of laughed and said it was an early MLC but I obviously underestimated the severity of her feelings.
In her comments to me she has indicated that she doesn't know who she is or why she is doing this.
However, I haven't seen a lot of the other symptoms. There has been no A, as far as I know. Also, she has not tried to rewrite our history at all - she recognizes that she loved me and I loved her. In fact she isn't trying to hide from her responsibility at all. She has repeatedly told me how guilty she feels about tearing the R apart. Artista is the only other poster I have seen own up to the responsibility as a WW. I have tried looking through other threads but have not seen a lot of that.
Does this occur with any regularity with MLCers? Or would that put her in a different category?
My W has displayed a lot of symptoms of MLC, starting about 3 years ago when she turned 30, but intensifying in the year before BD when she really seemed to be entering the "replay" stage.
She is unhappy in the marriage but cant say way. She told me in repeated conversations that it is her not me, that it isnt about anything I did or am doing.
She starts going out with single friends more. Absolutely. Going back months she started going out more and more with the biking crew and now the climbers. She would stay out till two or three a.m without texting me and wonder why I was annoyed.
She tells me that she loves me but is not in love with me. She never used those exact words, but it is exactly what she meant.
Cut off in intimacy. We had sex two or at max three times since January until the separation, three months, and only once after her trip to (home country).
She says that she regrets getting married in the first place and implies that she got married too young.
She is working out more and more.
She wants out of the marriage and pushed for the separation.
She is not willing to work on the marriage.
She is heavily involved in new social groups.
She is spending money and traveling at a much higher rate than before.
She more or less seems to be acting like a spoiled teenager.
She is discontent with her life in general.
She came back from (home country) and started a completely new diet or cleanse, all raw food and plant based with no meat, alcohol, or processed food.
She is scared of getting old and wants to stay young. Even before things got bad she made remarks about not being able to accept the aging process. I kind of laughed and said it was an early MLC but I obviously underestimated the severity of her feelings.
In her comments to me she has indicated that she doesn't know who she is or why she is doing this.
However, I haven't seen a lot of the other symptoms. There has been no A, as far as I know. Also, she has not tried to rewrite our history at all - she recognizes that she loved me and I loved her. In fact she isn't trying to hide from her responsibility at all. She has repeatedly told me how guilty she feels about tearing the R apart. Artista is the only other poster I have seen own up to the responsibility as a WW. I have tried looking through other threads but have not seen a lot of that.
Does this occur with any regularity with MLCers? Or would that put her in a different category?