My 2nd time here due to MLC - 10/20/16 08:07 AM
I was here 12 years ago w/ 1st H & that didnt end well we divorced. I didnt do what I was suppose to at all. I did everything the book said not to. He Did have an affair left our family & married OW. He didnt see our children on a regular basis & has very little to no contact with them. They are now 23 & 20 & due to his abandoning them they have been through a lot and continue to do so. When we were going through Divorce he told a friend he no longer want to be a H or dad! & he didnt as you all can tell. My daughters cringe when they see pix of him w/ step kids & step grand child. As my oldest has 2 kids & he has never seen the 2nd & she is 7 months old. So lets fast forward to now!! I have been in a relationship w/ bf for almost 8 years & this sit is different b/c we didnt marry we were living as a married couple. We were engaged but I didnt want to marry b/c of last marriage failed & atty fees are outrageous! He is a single dad of 1 (19 years old boy who is on autism scale very high functioning & smart but does have issues that hold him back to live a productive life & on his own). This child has caused many issues in our relationship. So my xbf is 45 & I cant exactly remember when he started working out at gym (it didnt bother me as b4 he met me he worked out). So I thought nothing of it. He was looking fine & then there is me how can this man love me?? I am over weight & not fit whatsoever. So I thought he xbf was acting like 1st xh in a lot of similar ways always on phone on fb & lord only knows what else. I questioned him & always had an answer. It was always in back of my mind he was doing more than he said. Well 6 weeks ago his son had a meltdown & went after me . Xbf took him to the floor so he couldnt hurt me so I called 911 b/c son was out of control completely. So after all was said & done they went to xbf mothers to stay. I didnt talk much to xbf & finally agreed to see him after 2 weeks. He came over we talked & he said he wanted to work things out & continue relationship w/ me but I told him due to sons behaviors towards me (for the last 8 years) that I didnt think it was a good idea for them to move back into house (house is mine). I wanted his son to get some counseling due to his issues which I think are from whenj is mother abandoned him when he was 10 she left him w/ xbf to raise didnt see him regularly until I came into pix. Xbf. Xw kept there 2nd child from xbf b/c she had no idea who the dad was so this child is messed up also. I have worked in the decelopmentally disabled field for 28 years so I would ask questions & see what could be done w/ oldest son. I gave xbf all the suggestions & he never did anything. So now I felt I was constantly on xbf son about doing chores & cleaning up after self so he could become more independent in everyday living skills. In order for this to happen i would have to go through xbf so he could tell son so he wouldnt flip out on me. So I am sure when I would tell xbf he thought I was nagging. But I wasnt I was just trying to teach him to do things for himself! So son would get up around 6am til he went to bed & played video games all day long & violent 1's. & xbf allowed him to. He also put numerous holes in walls over the years. Destroying house I have worked so hard to keep. So xbf moved all there stuff out moved to a different town blocked me from fb page got his own phone plan etc., I told him I felt like he just deleted me from his life . He would say no but he wouldnt answer phone if i called or answer texts. After he came to see me & Teying tonwork things out he was texting for a couple days then it got less he told me he was busy ummm you were never too busy before. Then 3 days after conversation he said he didnt know what he wanted & to leave him alone. So I backed off. Then I started looking into stuff on fb & see he was telling a lady in another state & telling her for the last 6 mos how beautiful, gorgeous etc she was & then he downloaded snap chat on phone. On his fb page I noticed how he was taking selfies & posting em & all! I feel like he is like a teenager. Last week when i confronted him he said lol to me. Then I had a melt down & he told me he dont wanna hear from me & he dont love me anymore! He is 45 I dont know if I said that. I know this post is long & all over the place & I am sorry about that. Any comments etc would be appreciated