MLC? LBS wondering about WAH - 04/25/16 09:39 AM
Hi,
Just posted and computer froze...here goes again
Background: WAH of 4 years has struggled with job satisfaction/career for 14 years. Was major thing he talked about and focused on since we met. Always lamenting and talking about his new job directions with anyone we'd meet.
Found new 'dream career' 8 mo ago. Threw self into networking, courses online, applying, interviews. Was going for salaried job with benefits at big stsable company vs. working with startups, commissino as he has been for year, "FOR OUR FAMILY", so we could have a home, kids.
He was turned down from these positions and offered commissioni only position wiht new startup that branched off his dream company-jumped at it. I was admittedly not as excited/supprotive, in moment of bad mood/hungry tired criticized as commission, was beineg selfish and didn't see how that hurt him Have since apologized profusely adn offered support, to no avail-talkingi to a wall.
He left suddenly one morning, we were supposed to be housesitting only 2 months here, he had met bunch of liked minded entrepreneurs and hagnign out with them "need huann connection" (vs working alone online all the time). Everything packed, no forwarning aside from hints droppping about pressure, tension, burnout, can't take it. I didnt' 'hear' them and had no thought he would run off.
That day he left, he canceled all credit cards in my name (he's primary cardholder), withdrew most of $ from join accout (he knew i had savings but left very little)
He unfriended me on Facebook, changed profile to luke skywalker in the cockpit (loves Star wars). OVer the next few months, not right away, blocked me, removed some photos, then ALL a few weeks ago
Twitter: I only checked once a month ago, but friends tell me he's constantly posting (part of his new job) about "Success": quotes, positive psych stuff, finding your tribe, cut off negative, etc.
Also posting now photos of his workout sheets-handwritten notes about how much weight he's lifting, what exercises. He used to keep notes here and there, never consistently but never posted them online. Seems odd
Posting about running and winning races, photos of medals
Will not return any texts, calls, email letters of apology or what I'm changing (I only did mistakenly first 2 weeks he left). Onlyl emails or replies about meeting for practical matters, he chooses the time/place usually.
He has not once asked if i am ok, where i'm living, what i'm doing. Nothing. We arrived here with plan to stay 2 months to houssit, then leave town. Had no idea he was thinkking of staying and running off. I had no income and no home lined up afterwards. He has found a place to stay but will not tell me even what area of town, which I find bizarre as I have not at all attempted to find him or contact him except thru email these days. Has not offered any help, $, nothing.
He was adamant about getting a professional photo for Linkedin, it looks nothing like any other photos-he's been a sweet, sentive, fun, youthful lighthearted playful guy who waves at babies, sings little madeup songs, jokes about animals, etc. This looks like man out to impress, almost a sneer of arrogance-even a friend was creeped out by it without my saying anytying.
He was wearing new shoes, clothes, new smartphone, sunglasses case
Posts about going to climbing gym a lot at 5am (used to do before married) and raving about that.
Posts photos of rainbows and writes about "#happy"
Stopped replying to mutual friends 2 weeks after leaving. They said he sounded calculated, hardended, determined (to end everything).
Tells me he's sleeping better than ever, feels great, one of 3 times i"ve seen him in 3 mo.
Won't hug anymore-had agreed to previously after meetings, would pray Our Father.
Rewriting history, lying about our courtship in front of a PRIEST, pointing to a crucifix, about our marriage, talkign about he wasn't ready, does'nt know what love is, has to go work on his baggage...priest tried to call him out on that, saying he did state what love is just then, and that work on things within relatinoships vs. running away
Each tiem we meet, he literally runs away
He had legal separatin papers served in church parkig lot after our last meeting a month ago (I confrotned, he said you've avoided lonog enough have to move forward)
What does this sound like? What are some good wasy to respond besides going dark, not doign anything, GAL, 180s (mad at me for not having 'purpose' or work, depressed etc)?
He's 36. We hadn't had kids yet d/t $ ,etc FYI
Thank you!!!
Just posted and computer froze...here goes again
Background: WAH of 4 years has struggled with job satisfaction/career for 14 years. Was major thing he talked about and focused on since we met. Always lamenting and talking about his new job directions with anyone we'd meet.
Found new 'dream career' 8 mo ago. Threw self into networking, courses online, applying, interviews. Was going for salaried job with benefits at big stsable company vs. working with startups, commissino as he has been for year, "FOR OUR FAMILY", so we could have a home, kids.
He was turned down from these positions and offered commissioni only position wiht new startup that branched off his dream company-jumped at it. I was admittedly not as excited/supprotive, in moment of bad mood/hungry tired criticized as commission, was beineg selfish and didn't see how that hurt him Have since apologized profusely adn offered support, to no avail-talkingi to a wall.
He left suddenly one morning, we were supposed to be housesitting only 2 months here, he had met bunch of liked minded entrepreneurs and hagnign out with them "need huann connection" (vs working alone online all the time). Everything packed, no forwarning aside from hints droppping about pressure, tension, burnout, can't take it. I didnt' 'hear' them and had no thought he would run off.
That day he left, he canceled all credit cards in my name (he's primary cardholder), withdrew most of $ from join accout (he knew i had savings but left very little)
He unfriended me on Facebook, changed profile to luke skywalker in the cockpit (loves Star wars). OVer the next few months, not right away, blocked me, removed some photos, then ALL a few weeks ago
Twitter: I only checked once a month ago, but friends tell me he's constantly posting (part of his new job) about "Success": quotes, positive psych stuff, finding your tribe, cut off negative, etc.
Also posting now photos of his workout sheets-handwritten notes about how much weight he's lifting, what exercises. He used to keep notes here and there, never consistently but never posted them online. Seems odd
Posting about running and winning races, photos of medals
Will not return any texts, calls, email letters of apology or what I'm changing (I only did mistakenly first 2 weeks he left). Onlyl emails or replies about meeting for practical matters, he chooses the time/place usually.
He has not once asked if i am ok, where i'm living, what i'm doing. Nothing. We arrived here with plan to stay 2 months to houssit, then leave town. Had no idea he was thinkking of staying and running off. I had no income and no home lined up afterwards. He has found a place to stay but will not tell me even what area of town, which I find bizarre as I have not at all attempted to find him or contact him except thru email these days. Has not offered any help, $, nothing.
He was adamant about getting a professional photo for Linkedin, it looks nothing like any other photos-he's been a sweet, sentive, fun, youthful lighthearted playful guy who waves at babies, sings little madeup songs, jokes about animals, etc. This looks like man out to impress, almost a sneer of arrogance-even a friend was creeped out by it without my saying anytying.
He was wearing new shoes, clothes, new smartphone, sunglasses case
Posts about going to climbing gym a lot at 5am (used to do before married) and raving about that.
Posts photos of rainbows and writes about "#happy"
Stopped replying to mutual friends 2 weeks after leaving. They said he sounded calculated, hardended, determined (to end everything).
Tells me he's sleeping better than ever, feels great, one of 3 times i"ve seen him in 3 mo.
Won't hug anymore-had agreed to previously after meetings, would pray Our Father.
Rewriting history, lying about our courtship in front of a PRIEST, pointing to a crucifix, about our marriage, talkign about he wasn't ready, does'nt know what love is, has to go work on his baggage...priest tried to call him out on that, saying he did state what love is just then, and that work on things within relatinoships vs. running away
Each tiem we meet, he literally runs away
He had legal separatin papers served in church parkig lot after our last meeting a month ago (I confrotned, he said you've avoided lonog enough have to move forward)
What does this sound like? What are some good wasy to respond besides going dark, not doign anything, GAL, 180s (mad at me for not having 'purpose' or work, depressed etc)?
He's 36. We hadn't had kids yet d/t $ ,etc FYI
Thank you!!!