10 years

[OK now]

Well...its been 10 yrs since the big bomb....I have moved on and doing well, I can't say the same for my daughters...
After I was hit with the big d conversation, all I was concern about is how this will affect my Ds...she kept saying that all long as we give them love and support...they will be fine....Well...those words sounded good coming out of her mouth but she doesn't practice them....my girls still try to get any type of affection from her but only get cheap words and no action....its obvious to them and me that she doesn't want to be bothered by their problems....but hey still try to grasp anything they can to get any type of affection and advice about everyday problems that come with being in their early 20s...
I can only do what I can do...and we do make some progress until they talk to her and she fills them with false hopes...makes my job harder because of only do I have to console them with their emotions from the witch...but have to come up with ideas to deal with their situations to bypass her incompetent remarks..
She is most interested in her life and shows she can't be bothered by daughters lives...
I don't know what to do other than have her eliminated!

[Cadet]

IMHO if the girls are adults and in their 20's then you must let them and their mother "DEAL" with their own relationships.

It sounds like they already know the score.

Quote from 2/10/2007

I had a talk with olest D tonight. Seem's she had a convo. with her mother a couple weeks ago where she asked her why she really left. Mom told her that she fell out of love with all three of us and felt that we were holding her back from being really happy and following her dream.
This crushed D in a way that she hung up on her and vowed never to talk with her again.

I didn't know what to say. This is something you never hear a mother tell her daughter. And it conferms to me big time that she is plain sick!!

I told D that I was so sorry she had to hear that, Mom is not in her right mind right now otherwise she would have never said that. That no mother would ever have any of those feelings.
And she should not take it personal, Mom isn't mom right now, and I explained all about MLC. She's 17 and I think she understands.

So nothing has changed in 8 1/2 years!

My kids are a little older and one "gets" it and the other one is still struggling to accept.

All I can do is keep being the BEST DAD that I can be,

so far I think that I am succeeding!

Thats what I suggest for YOU!

[OK now]

Oh they know the score.. But they keep reaching...looking for something....and its frustrating to me when their emotions are being played like a cheap fiddle.

[job]

Your children will need to figure out a way to "deal" w/their mother. They are old enough to figure this out...but it's going to take some time for them to do so.

I know it's very frustrating for you to see how their mother is playing the fiddle all of the time, but there's nothing you can do to help them w/this situation. Listen to what your children have to say and validate their thoughts/feelings. If they ask your opinion, then tell them what they need to hear, but otherwise, you'll have to sit back and allow all of this communication stuff play out between the children and their mother.