Hey all, it's been a long time.
Just wanted to stop by and say "hello" to those who know me.
I don't remember where I left off the last time I posted. Hmm...maybe I should go hunting for my last thread.
Hi Ms. H!
It's good to see that you've posted. We all have been thinking about you. The last time you posted, I think you had sold your home and were packing up and returning to school.
How is school going? How are the boys? Are they doing okay? How are you doing now?
Thanks Snodderly,
Yes, I did sell my home. I actually closed on what would of been my 10th wedding anniversary. Not how I pictured celebrating that day, but it is what it is. I tried to look at it like it was a new beginning.
Ex was not at closing, he gave power of attorney to his lawyer.
Keep your fingers crossed, I brought a new house. It's a house that has been rebuilt from the bottom up so everything is new. It's much smaller than my old house but I like it. It's right around the corner from my old house. I am hoping to close sometime at the end of November. Keep your fingers crossed for me that everything goes smoothly.
In the meantime I am living in a townhouse rental. It's not bad, but it doesn't feel like home to me. It's pretty small so most of my stuff is in storage. It's kind of stressful living like this. Thankfully it's just short term.
The boys are doing pretty good, thanks for asking Snodderly. My five year old started Kindergarten and loves it! He is the age my oldest was when all this first started and now my oldest is in the 3rd grade!
School is ok. I was taking 6 classes but dropped one. My five year old came down with Lyme disease last month so I need some free time to take him to the doctor. He is all better now, thank God! Of course ex blamed it on me that he got Lyme disease. Whatever.
Ex seems to be doing really well. He and ow remodeled their house and had a house warming party recently. According to ex's grandmother ex seems very happy, ow treats the children like they are her own, and the kids seem to love it there. Lovely. Not sure why the Grandmother felt the need to tell me that, but that is one of the reasons I don't talk to her much. We rarely ever talk because the Grandfather, her husband, doesn't want us talking. When I do talk to her, which, is not that often, I tried to keep it to other stuff besides ex.
I keep having these dreams lately that ex and ow are getting married and she is pregnant. Don't know what that is all about.
I do know that I no longer love ex. I have no desire to want him back. I do miss the old husband but I know he is not coming back. I honestly believe that most MLCers do not come back. Sorry to any newbies reading this, but that's reality. Sure some come back, but those are usually the ones that keep some kind of connection. There is no connection with my ex and I.
Oh and I forgot to mention. Ex has never mentioned the ow or her name to me since he left. One day when he was picking the boys up he casually brings her up in a conversation. I quickly shut him down and said "I don't care to hear anything about her" and he kept talking. I said again, "I don't want to hear it" and then he told me I needed to get over him.
He needs to get over himself.
Well there is an update. I am sure I left out lots of stuff.
Hope everyone is ok.
Ms. H,
I'm glad you posted an update. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers and just hope that everything goes smoothly and you can settle on your "new" place next month. Just think, it's going to be all yours and your xh will not have the power to hold this new place over your head w/his idle threats.
As for him, he's got a lot of self discovery to do and you know what, many of them will not do the work. I have to agree w/you, many of them do not come back. Look at my little fruit cake...still living in fantasy land and still will not say the little shark's name around me, i.e., won't ever say "we did this or we did that". It's always "I this or that". Oh, well, they are the ones that truly lost out. Ms. H, you will go on and life will hold many good things for you. It's just getting to the other side that takes a long time. Once you are settled in your own place, things will begin to look up for you. Right now, you are in transition.
I'm sorry to read about your son's lyme situation. I do hope he's doing okay. I can't believe he's in school too. Where has the time gone? They grow up so fast!
I'm glad to see that you are still going to school. You'll do just fine and when you've got your degree...you'll be huge success. I've never doubted that one bit.
Please give the boys a hug and kiss for me and you take care of yourself.
So glad to hear for you Miss H. You sound great. Good luck on your house, you deserve some stability and calmness.
MissH,
I am so glad you posted. I've been thinking about you. You sound like you're moving on with your life. I can tell just in the tone of your post that you have reached a new level of acceptance.
Glad to hear about the new house. That will be SO good for you! You can make it your own, completely... with none of those nasty memories of what was. Having your own place will be so empowering.
Please keep us posted.
Hola!!!!
So glad you posted, and even happier that you sound so good.
Hope all goes well with the new house, and that you will be moved in for the holidays.
Making new memories and starting new traditions, it's all part of acceptance and moving forward.
((((hugs))))
(((MissH & New Home)))
congratulations! Sounds as if things are going well for you.
kat
MissH, It sounds best to not speak to X's grandmother much any more.
So very little regard for your feelings. I mean, why does she want to tell you such things? It is inconsiderate at the least and a sort of rub-your-face-in-it at worst.
I'm struggling today. I hate my f*cking life.
And check out people-dot-com for how stupid these ow really are. It's an article about Jon Gosselin's ow, Hailey Glassman
I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling. You may think you hate your life right now, but give yourself some time to heal and find your footing. Right now, everything looks bleak and nasty, but as you begin to find your footing again, the bleakness will begin to lift.
Please take care of yourself.
Snodderly, I thought I was healed but apparently not.
Ex brought the ow to the bus stop today to pick up the kids. I lost it and had heated words with her. I hate that I let them get to me but I did. I will never get over what either of them did.
I don't go into their territory, I leave them alone. All I ask is that she doesn't show up in mine.
And she is a liar, she denied being the one that was in my house the night I caught her there (the bomb)
Do they have no shame.
How dare she do this to you.
They are just as messed up if not more.
Miss H,
Karma. But come to peace with things as much as you can.
Miss H,
I understand how you feel, it really hasn't been enough time, and for them to show up like that, unannounced, to pick up your boys is just proof of thier immaturity, lack of self respect, and empathy.
Fortunately, you will become numb to this also, some time down the road. You will also realize they both aren't worth your time nor emotional upheaval.
Of course she lied, they both lie, honey, and they will continue to do so too.... their lives are based on nothing but, lies. They can't stop now, there is no truth, so sense of trust, no honor,nothing real within thier relationship, and there won't ever be. Thier relationship will never be anything like yours.... it will never be as good, and they both will wander around wondering if the other is lying to each other too.... it's a mess.... be grateful you only have to deal with it once in a great while.
What was her reaction? Although you don't want to give her any more power to upset you than she already has, I wouldn't beat myself up too much about it if I were you-- you're not DBing your H anymore, and you're definitely not DBing HER! F her if she didn't like it.
Ms. H,
I'm so sorry to hear that she showed up at the bus stop. What were they thinking? Absolutely nothing. They both think that now that the divorce is over and done with, everyone should be accepting the ow. Ain't happening for a very long time if ever.
You are healing...just give yourself time. BTW, no 2 X 4's here. I would have done the exact same thing, but probably worse.
"Hugs" to you and your little ones.
MissH,
I think you handled it well...better than I would have.
Considering roles switched, OM would have been walking away funny from the bus stop pole being shoved up his rectum...
and then the police car...cars.
You did great.