Divorcebusting.com
Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/02/09 05:42 PM
Quote:

Were no strangers to love
You know the rules and so do i
A full commitments what Im thinking of
You wouldnt get this from any other guy

I just wanna tell you how Im feeling
Gotta make you understand

* never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you



You've been Rick-Rolled!

There are no quick fixes or magic bullets for MLC. Just hard work, patience and support.
Posted By: Between Tears Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/03/09 01:18 AM

Ha ha ha Jack.... I was just looking for the punch line!!!! ;D
Posted By: brandnewday Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/03/09 11:03 AM
Actually Jack in hindsight there is a magic bullet.....

We can't stop living our lives.

We have to grieve the death of the marriage and go through all of the stages.

IF they come back, then we will have a new relationship with them, but it will never be the same one as before.



Every day of our lives we are on the verge of making those slight changes that would make all the difference. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960


The word "now" is like a bomb through the window, and it ticks. ~Arthur Miller, After the Fall, 1964


Use your health, even to the point of wearing it out. That is what it is for. Spend all you have before you die; do not outlive yourself. ~George Bernard Shaw


The clock talked loud. I threw it away, it scared me what it talked. ~Tillie Olsen, Tell Me a Riddle


Time is like the wind
That comes in the morning
With a barely palpable caress of the cheek
Rising to a comfortable caress
In its measured passage of the day
Until it rises a sudden gale
Revealing the irrevocability of its power
Trembling our browning leaves
And blowing them to our finality.
~Phillip Pulfrey, from Beyond Me, www.originals.net


Life happens too fast for you ever to think about it. If you could just persuade people of this, but they insist on amassing information. ~Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.


Here I am trying to live, or rather, I am trying to teach the death within me how to live. ~Jean Cocteau


When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced. Live your life in such a manner that when you die the world cries and you rejoice. ~Indian Saying


Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear. ~Author Unknown


Whether it's the best of times or the worst of times, it's the only time we've got. ~Art Buchwald


If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance. ~Andrea Boydston


though love be a day and life be nothing, it shall not stop kissing. ~e.e. cummings


There are many To-morrows, my Love, my Love, -
There is only one To-day.
~Joaquin Miller


Life is always walking up to us and saying, "Come on in, the living's fine," and what do we do? Back off and take its picture. ~Russell Baker


Catch, then, oh catch the transient hour;
Improve each moment as it flies!
Life's a short summer, man a flower;
He dies - alas! how soon he dies!
~Samuel Johnson


There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want. ~Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes


To-morrow - oh, 'twill never be,
If we should live a thousand years!
Our time is all to-day, to-day,
The same, though changed; and while it flies
With still small voice the moments say:
"To-day, to-day, be wise, be wise."
~James Montgomery, To-day


I don't want to get to the end of my life and find that I lived just the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well. ~Diane Ackerman


Men talk of killing time, while time quietly kills them. ~Dion Boucicault


If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting? ~Stephen Levine


The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time. ~Mark Twain


What would be the use of immortality to a person who cannot use well a half an hour. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson


Remember you must die whether you sit about moping all day long or whether on feast days you stretch out in a green field, happy with a bottle of Falernian from your innermost cellar. ~Horace


Time wears all his locks before;
Take thy hold upon his forehead;
When he flies, he turns no more,
And behind his scalp is naked.
~Robert Southwell


Time is painted with a lock before, and bald behind, signifying thereby that we must take time by the forelock; for, when it is once past, there is no recalling it. ~Jonathan Swift


Our repugnance to death increases in proportion to our consciousness of having lived in vain. ~William Hazlitt, On the Love of Life, 1815


Those who make the worst use of their time are the first to complain of its shortness. ~Jean de La Bruyère


Is there life before death? ~Author Unknown


It's a mere moment in a man's life between an All-Star Game and an Old-timers' Game. ~Vin Scully


Cowards die many times before their deaths;
The valiant never taste of death but once.
~William Shakespeare, Julius Caesar, 1600


When we lose one we love, our bitterest tears are called forth by the memory of hours when we loved not enough. ~Maurice Maeterlinck, Wisdom and Destiny, 1901, translated by Alfred Sutro


When it comes time to die, make sure all you got to do is die. ~Attributed to Jim Elliot


I think I don't regret a single 'excess' of my responsive youth - I only regret, in my chilled age, certain occasions and possibilities I didn't embrace. ~Henry James


When a man knows he is to be hanged in a fortnight, it concentrates his mind wonderfully. ~Samuel Johnson


Expect an early death - it will keep you busier. ~Martin H. Fischer


Fields can lie fallow, but we can't; we have less time. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966


No! no arresting the vast wheel of time,
That round and round still turns with onward might.
~Charles Cowden Clarke


Every day is an opportunity to make a new happy ending. ~Author Unknown


The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough. ~Rabindranath Tagore


The question for each man is not what he would do if he had the means, time, influence, and educational advantages, but what he will do with the things he has. ~Hamilton


May you live all the days of your life. ~Jonathan Swift


Now is the time to get drunk! To stop being the martyred slaves of time, to get absolutely drunk - on wine, poetry, or on virtue, as you please. ~Charles Baudelaire, "Enivrez-vous," Paris Spleen, 1869


Live as you will wish to have lived when you are dying. ~Christian Furchtegott Gellert


Life is not long, and too much of it must not pass in idle deliberation how it shall be spent. ~Samuel Johnson


The swift years slip and slide adown the steep;
The slow years pass; neither will come again.
~William Sharp


The proper function of man is to live, not to exist. I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them. ~Jack London


Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year. No man has learned anything rightly, until he knows that every day is Doomsday. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson


Later never exists. ~Author Unknown


Many people take no care of their money till they come nearly to the end of it, and others do just the same with their time. ~Johann von Goethe


If you believe in forever, then life is just a one-night stand. ~Righteous Brothers, "Rock & Roll Heaven"


That it will never come again
Is what makes life so sweet.
~Emily Dickinson


Let us endeavor to live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry. ~Mark Twain


Life is what happens to us while we are making other plans. ~Thomas La Mance


The value of moments, when cast up, is immense, if well employed; if thrown away, their loss is irrevocable. ~Lord Chesterfield


Waste not the smallest thing created, for grains of sand make mountains, and atomies infinity. Waste not the smallest time in imbecile infirmity, for well thou knowest that seconds form eternity. ~E. Knight


Lost time is never found again. ~Benjamin Franklin


Stop waiting. Twenty years is the first bomb of the future. ~The Quote Garden


The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and for deeds left undone. ~Harriet Beecher Stowe, Little Foxes, 1865


I wasted time, and now doth time waste me. ~William Shakespeare


Only that day dawns to which we are awake. ~Henry David Thoreau


Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop to look around once in a while you could miss it. ~From the movie Ferris Bueller's Day Off


Many a man gets weary of clamping down on his rough impulses, which if given occasional release would encourage the living of life with salt in it, in place of dust. ~Henry S. Haskins


Every second is of infinite value. ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


We are always getting ready to live but never living. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson


The future has a way of arriving unannounced. ~George F. Will


We do not do what we want and yet we are responsible for what we are - that is the fact. ~Jean Paul Sartre, Situations, 1939


Time goes, you say? Ah no!
Alas, Time stays, we go.
~Henry Austin Dobson


Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. ~Sydney J. Harris


No man is quick enough to enjoy life to the full. ~Spanish Proverb


How did it get so late so soon?
It's night before it's afternoon.
December is here before it's June.
My goodness how the time has flewn.
How did it get so late so soon?
~Dr. Seuss


Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils. ~Hector Berlioz


Waste your money and you're only out of money, but waste your time and you've lost a part of your life. ~Michael Leboeuf


You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when. You can only decide how you're going to live. Now. ~Joan Baez


The follies which a man regrets most in his life are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity. ~Helen Rowland


Who well lives, long lives; for this age of ours should not be numbered by years, days, and hours. ~Guillaume de Salluste Du Bartas, Divine Weeks and Works, 1578


You only live once; but if you live it right, once is enough. ~Adam Marshall


Life, if well lived, is long enough. ~Seneca, De Ira


There are but three events in a man's life: birth, life, and death. He is not conscious of being born, he dies in pain, and he forgets to live. ~Jean de la Bruyère


What a folly to dread the thought of throwing away life at once, and yet have no regard to throwing it away by parcels and piecemeal. ~John Howe


So much of our time is preparation, so much is routine, and so much retrospect, that the path of each man's genius contracts itself to a very few hours. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson


'Tis better to buy a small bouquet
And give to your friend this very day,
Than a bushel of roses white and red
To lay on his coffin after he's dead.
~Author Unknown


The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it. ~Author Unknown


All the windows of my heart I open to the day. ~John Greenleaf Whittier


When one has a great deal to put into it a day has a hundred pockets. ~Friedrich Nietzsche, Human, All Too Human


Each day comes bearing its own gifts. Untie the ribbons. ~Ruth Ann Schabacker


Present your family and friends with their eulogies now - they won't be able to hear how much you love them and appreciate them from inside the coffin. ~Anonymous


The moment when you first wake up in the morning is the most wonderful of the twenty-four hours. No matter how weary or dreary you may feel, you possess the certainty that, during the day that lies before you, absolutely anything may happen. And the fact that it practically always doesn't, matters not a jot. The possibility is always there. ~Monica Baldwin


We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance. ~Japanese Proverb


When one subtracts from life infancy (which is vegetation), sleep, eating and swilling, buttoning and unbuttoning - how much remains of downright existence? The summer of a dormouse. ~Lord Byron


Don't ever save anything for a special occasion. Being alive is the special occasion. ~Author Unknown
Posted By: fisherman Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/03/09 11:57 AM
Good Stuff!!
Posted By: LolaL Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/03/09 02:43 PM
Perfecto...
Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/03/09 03:48 PM
Fine...fine...

There IS a magic bullet...since I double checked the definition and it turns out...all magic bullet means is a cure...not a FAST cure.

That is some good stuff Oz.

I personally like the idea of being used up broken, bloody, worn out tired, and looking up at Saint Peter and saying, "Did you see THAT?!?!?! Can I do it again?!" When I die.
Posted By: Golfgirl1 Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/03/09 03:59 PM
Jack,
Where do you come up with this stuff??? smile
Jack is a Pirate Philosopher. Or something.
Posted By: Mach1 Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/03/09 04:05 PM
Originally Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans

I personally like the idea of being used up broken, bloody, worn out tired, and looking up at Saint Peter and saying, "Did you see THAT?!?!?! Can I do it again?!" When I die.


I'm looking for the "like" button, oh wait this isn't.....





And I'm voting for the or something ........

Really do love this thread though...

BND, that is some really good stuff there...
Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/03/09 04:11 PM
Once upon a time, I used to be like everybody else, the nameless masses. Day in and day out, wake up, go to work, come home, rinse repeat.

Want to talk about a dull existence.
I made many mistakes. Including how I interacted with my family, what I thought I deserved, and what I did with my time.

Those were all wrong.
Life is what you make, not what you take.

I won't defend my wife's actions...vigorously...but I will say if I was married to such a person and my childhood was predisposed toward an MLC I can certainly understand how I pushed her right along.

Be better everyday.
Strive.

Look in the mirror and break the image you see in it.
Remake the image into someone you like, somone you want to be.
Someone YOU look up to.

Jack isn't my real name, but Jack is the better man I try to be.
Posted By: Golfgirl1 Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/03/09 04:21 PM
Jack,
Where's your thread? Must be interesting reading....
Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/03/09 04:34 PM
Meh...it's pretty lame. I was naive and stupid.

That's not to say I didn't do the right DBing things. : )

I'm a guy you're a girl...at least...that's what you say...you could be some 50 year old stock broker named Mitch from New Jersey...but...I'll take you at face value.

That being said, the boy girl thing, you'd be better off checking out some of the ladies threads...I've noticed a difference in the advice.
Posted By: Golfgirl1 Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/03/09 04:48 PM
I check out all the threads...trying to figure out what to do and trying to live each day to the fullest.

As you said, become the better person. As the ladies have said, become the person my h would be a fool to leave. Trying to do that....think I'm on the right road. Just miss him and our marriage. Trying to focus on ME and less on HIM, but that's the hard part.
Posted By: Golfgirl1 Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/03/09 04:48 PM
Oh, and I'm a teacher from Colorado.
Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/03/09 04:54 PM
...so you say... ; )
Posted By: Golfgirl1 Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/03/09 05:00 PM
yes I say...:)

I'm not the one in MLC with all the lies! smile
Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/03/09 05:25 PM
Not everything the MLCer says is a lie.

Its up to you to determine the validity of the statment.

If something is simply untrue...like for instance, the MLCer says your fat...and you're not...then, well that's an easy one to ignore.

However, if the MLC says your fat, and you have put on wieght and it is true...it might sting a bit. Now you can defend it, say it never was a problem before why should it be a problem now? : ) Well...it is. Before they were just too nice.

They actually say some pretty insightful stuff...you just need to filter it to get at the truth.
Posted By: LolaL Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/03/09 05:51 PM
On the terms of living life to the fullest:

As most of you know, I lost my brother in April. He was a wonderful man who lived every day like it was his last day. He showed kindness and compassion for people without calling attention to himself. But when he died, there were probably 200 people at his funeral, and the lives he touched were immense. I had so many people come up and hug me that at one point, my good friend had to pull me out because he saw me get overwhelmed by the very many people ( wink thanks Jimbo).

It was because of K that I made the decision to return to the east coast. Although I started out in Virginia, I ended up in New York. Making that choice was a difficult decision. I wanted to be close to my father, but the minute that I got to New York (upstate Rochester) I felt home in a way that I had not felt in a long time.

I went to visit the cemetary where my mother and grandmother are buried out here, and sat down with them to contemplate my future. And thought of K, and what he would have done.

There would have been no question for him, he would have gone where he would have been happy, content, and complete. And it was in that moment I heard his voice whisper to me, and I decided to stay in New York.

Live every day like it is your last, because you never know when it might actually be.
Posted By: Golfgirl1 Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/03/09 07:27 PM
So, when he says he loves me and misses me, do I believe that? The message on the answering machine sure sounded genuine, then a week later he said he shouldn't have left it.

What's THAT all about?
Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/03/09 07:35 PM
MLC = confusion
Posted By: Golfgirl1 Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/03/09 07:47 PM
Yep...I know. He keeps saying he's "confused." I think he's gonna be there a long time.

You are what you think = pretty cool chick (on my way at least)
Posted By: Fallgirl Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/03/09 08:15 PM
I do wonder if hanging on to my H is really wrought out of fear of letting go, rather than love(whatever that is...)

Oh, and there`s the kid factor. I just can`t bear to break their hearts with S talk.

Is that reason enough to keep dbing?

Love this thread.

Love JTB`s post and glad you`re back J!

Go Golfgirl! So glad to see you doing so well!
Posted By: LolaL Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/03/09 08:55 PM
MLC = MASS LOTSA CONFUSION
Posted By: brandnewday Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/03/09 09:13 PM
Nobody knows what is going on in the MLC mind.

BUT.. if you actually listen to their words and stop defending yourself, you may find that they can be rather insightful.

They will figure out their own problems without your help.

They do not need for you to point out their issues or for you to tell them that they have rewritten history.

For now, they do not need you at all, because they are fully grown degenerative teenagers who know everything.

Give them their space.

Lay off the guilt trips.

Don't drag your kids into it.

And for God's sake work on your own "stuff".
Posted By: Fallgirl Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/04/09 11:22 AM
Brilliant post,BND!

Wish I`d read it a year ago! Just had to learn all that stuff the hard way!
Posted By: Bworl Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/04/09 12:41 PM
I think it's very easy to fall into the trap of demonizing a spouse who suddenly violates everything you thought they believed in.

I think it's natural to try to cling to things that are precious to us.

I think it's normal to try to save something precious that seems to be slipping away.

And I know it's human nature to think that reason and logic should apply to most situations.


And that's why you hear people say that DB'ing, or even just effectively managing your marital crisis, is counter intuitive.


Don't expect to be able to fix a problem this complex the same way that you would fix a broken water heater.


For that matter, don't expect to be able to "fix" this problem at all.


Repeated so often that it risks being cliche, nevertheless completely and utterly true:

The only thing that YOU can change is YOU.


Pursuing, reasoning, teaching, pleading, correcting a wandering spouse is like trying to hunt deer by chasing them down in the woods by foot.


Leave them be.

Stop trying to figure out what they are doing or what they are thinking.

Stop trying to impose YOU on their lives.

Stop trying to help them remember what a wonderful marriage you had.

Stop being offended when they act like a single person.


Change YOU.

Forget about the relationship for just a little bit at least. Take a long, hard, honest look in the mirror and answer the question...

Have I become the person I always hoped I would be?


Your mission, during this time of rejection and being ignored is to begin becoming that person. Your job is to restore YOUR life, and the lives of those closest to you who are still under your care.


You do not have to plot or scheme or plan. You do not need a gameplan, because this is not a game.


Be yourself. And keep working on becoming a better "yourself."


I assure you that you will have opportunity to interact with your spouse at some point. And I assure you that what they SEE in you speaks far more loudly than any words you can offer. The extent to which you can not only survive, but THRIVE in their absence does in fact send a message that registers with them. There is little need for words.


Be honest, be fair, be open. Never feel the need to sugarcoat or overexaggerate to make an impression.


These are things that seem to be true to me. These are things I wish I had known when my own saga began.



Blessings,

Bill
Posted By: peacetoday Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/04/09 12:55 PM
so true bworl
the journey os for us
peace
Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/04/09 03:51 PM
For all you new kids on the block.

Print up Brand New Day's AND Bworl's post, and put them some place you can see them every day. For you wise ones who have forgotten the basics do the same thing.

Bill, : ) Good to 'see' you man!
Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/04/09 05:07 PM
So…

I got Michele’s Sex Starved Marriage and I read most of it. Needless to say…wait saying it is needless to say is not really true…hrnmm…it’s like saying ‘obviously’…well if it was obvious dorkmeister then you would only say it if you wanted to show a superior position…

I digress…

Needless to say = Amazing book.

Now the hard part…broaching the subject with my wife.
I go home with the book and there she is. I bring up the topic of how she liked “Keeping Love Alive.” CD’s (BIG THANKS TO JEANETTE!)

Yes, she liked them very much, why?

“Well…because Michele wrote another book…but I don’t want the title to put you off.”

I take the book out and give it to her and look away quickly.
After a few seconds of silence I turn around and she is suddenly right there kissing me.

Well the boys aren’t home yet, and I won’t bore you with the details…2 hours worth of mind blowing details.

We fall into blissful sleep afterwards.

Suddenly, I woken up by someone shaking me.

My oldest boy is asking me if I am alright?

What the heck? The back of my head hurts and I am still in the living room, with clothes on…that should not be the case.
Apparently, my wife clocked me with the book when I turned around.

So I am begging Michele to either change the name of this wonderful resource…make a soft cover version…or help me come up with a better plan to introduce this book to my lovely and quick tempered wife.
Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/04/09 05:33 PM
I'm not sensing much sympathy here...
Posted By: Golfgirl1 Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/04/09 05:43 PM
Just humor from me...wishful thinking, buddy! smile
Posted By: smith18 Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/04/09 05:48 PM
I think one could summarize BND and Bworl's great posts down to the old army theme - "Be All You Can Be".

Jack - you crack me up!
Posted By: fisherman Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/04/09 06:58 PM
Amen Bworl... Wonderful post!!
Posted By: iluvme55 Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/04/09 09:47 PM
I hope your noggin is ok.....that sounded like it could of hurt......xoxoxoxoxox's to make it feel better..take care Jack your friend.... Irma
Posted By: sofaraway Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/05/09 02:41 AM
umm, where the hell have you been?

I hope when she clocked you with the book it knocked some sense into you.....just sayin......


ian
Posted By: peaceful_spirit Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/05/09 08:29 PM
You said it! MLC=confusion. Golfgirl, when he sayd he misses you and loves you, he means it -- at the time. BUt the MLCers don't know which end is up and they go through so many emotions in the course of a day. So, it's a good sign that he feels that way. But that doesn't mean that he's thinking with a clear, rational head. He may still be messed up.

BND, I agree with what you said. Live your life. Don't shut the door shut on your marriage. Leave it ajar. But don't keep peeking through the crack to see if it is opening. Leave it ajar and face forward.
Posted By: Golfgirl1 Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/05/09 11:58 PM
Yesterday he said he wanted a divorce. Then he kept asking about our marriage. HUH?? What does he want? I will keep the door ajar because in my heart I believe we belong together. Now I need to be silent for awhile and let him think about things...he'll lose and amazing woman if he lets me go. Wait! If I decide I want to go.... smile
Posted By: job Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/06/09 11:59 AM
GG,
Your h honestly is a confused mess right now. One minute they want a divorce, the next minute they are talking about the relationship. You can't analyze anything that they say or do right now because they are operating on emotions...nothing more. Their emotions are running extremely high and rational thinking is out the window.

Sit quietly and patiently. You'll learn more by doing so and yes, information that you are seeking will fall into you lap quicker this way. Allow the man upstairs the time to work on your h. Give him the entire mess and keep the focus on you and your family. I know it's difficult, but you didn't break him, therefore, you can't fix him.
Posted By: trustingfaith Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/08/09 05:27 AM
This is a great thread - good reminders about what we should be focusing on and NOT focusing on. It was very timely reading for me.
Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/09/09 07:52 PM
A poem:

A font of advice, mostly sage,
Silenced the powers rage.
Mach, oh poor Mach!
Alack!
Banned!
Banned.
Banned…

Post links no more.


See ya when you get out of your corner : )
Posted By: fisherman Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/09/09 07:57 PM
poor fella can't even defend himself.

"la la la" is definitely how I know.
Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/09/09 08:00 PM
Actually there isn't much difference between him not being able to defend himself and being banned. : )

That you're turned on, 'knowing' is how I know.
Posted By: smith18 Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/09/09 09:20 PM
You may not have been banned officially, but I seem to remember LostPhil personally banned you and some others from his thread. I think you were on double secret probation at one time.
Wasn't everybody on double secret probation on that thread?
Posted By: brandnewday Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/09/09 10:22 PM
Jack...
You are truly wicked!!!!
Poking fun......
Posted By: trustingfaith Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/10/09 02:41 AM
BND,
Just wanted to jump on here and say that I have been reading a lot of your posts (past and present). I have gotten a lot of encouragement from them and the great advice you give people!
Posted By: Fallgirl Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/10/09 11:43 AM
Bworls brill post had this:-

"Have I become the person I always hoped I would be?


Your mission, during this time of rejection and being ignored is to begin becoming that person. Your job is to restore YOUR life, and the lives of those closest to you who are still under your care. "

Just wondering...

Should we become the people our WAS`s want us to be or follow our own hearts-even if it takes us away from them...

Example: I`ve rekindled lots of interests I`ve had in the past-music, art, yoga, reading-problem is H has no interest in these things and actually, is scathing of my interest in them(though that`s part of his MLC anger/jealousy thing)

Should I try and connect more with out common interests?Can only think of one though and no its not the kids because he shows minimal interest in them.

One of his whinges is that we have nothing in common.

And one of the problems is that he declares he`s only interested in two things-football and his hometown, neither of which have a place in my heart.

Now if there were a real man on board he`d answer that one, but sadly Mach is not with us...

Just teasing, guys!
Posted By: trustingfaith Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/10/09 02:44 PM
Good question. I think we need to do things for ourselves and be who we want to be. Ideally, we could cultivate new shared interests with our spouses but in our cases that isn't going to happen, at least not anytime soon and until reconciliation begins.
Posted By: Drew Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/10/09 10:20 PM
Jack,

Have the book, haven't read it.

Think intimacy .........
Posted By: fisherman Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/10/09 10:36 PM
WHAT!!?? laugh
Posted By: Grace_O Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/10/09 11:23 PM
Fallgirl,

Quote:
Should we become the people our WAS`s want us to be or follow our own hearts-even if it takes us away from them...

Example: I`ve rekindled lots of interests I`ve had in the past-music, art, yoga, reading-problem is H has no interest in these things and actually, is scathing of my interest in them(though that`s part of his MLC anger/jealousy thing)


I'm sorry to hear that he is angry and /or jealous that you have interests he doesn't share.

In the event that you two are not able to work this out...do you want to give up those interests? I do/would not choose to give up mine. My H is not concerned that I have separate interests in my case, however if he was....(see above).

I personally think it is risky (if not dangerous) for a couple to be too insulary (sp?). Doing things separately and then coming "home" gives you things to share and time apart to re-charge as it were.

Quote:
One of his whinges is that we have nothing in common.


What did you have in common when you were dating?
Posted By: brandnewday Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/10/09 11:44 PM
Thanks Trusting......

(((hugs)))
Posted By: Fallgirl Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/13/09 07:11 AM
Yeah, Grace, I`m happy to have separate interests. And anyway, I think H`s cry of us not having anything in common is part of the MLC syndrome where they just keep shredding through all the good and bad of the M.

With saying that though I am going to pick up on a couple of common interests and run with them-cycling,family history this week.Somethings I would genuinely enjoy without H`s interest anyway.

I`m more and more ready to let H out of my life at t his point, as he`s determined now to go. So reaching a different point with all of this.
Posted By: brandnewday Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/14/09 11:10 AM
Hey Fallgirl,

Glad to hear that you are making plans for yourself and for trying out new things.

It's hard sometimes for us to step out of our comfort zones, but the benefits really will pay off.

I think it has alot to to do with feeling confident and secure with ourselves again.

Be blessed!!

(((hugs)))
Posted By: Fallgirl Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/15/09 03:54 PM
Thanks BND

H`s MLC has definitely made me more independent and self sufficient!
Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/15/09 04:44 PM
Fall,

Aren't you a better person for that?

I truely am glad that I went through this.

Once. She gets one.
Posted By: Fallgirl Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/15/09 09:28 PM
Oh, too right Jack! This has worked wonders for me and taken me to places in my heart and soul I never knew existed.
Posted By: Grace_O Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/15/09 10:46 PM
Fallgirl,

Cool, but are you ready to celebrate this Saturday?
Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/15/09 10:54 PM
Grace with the dirt on her face : )

How are you doing?
Posted By: Grace_O Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/15/09 11:06 PM
Doing good! Tired of homework, so I'm avoiding some by checking in here grin

Practicing my vocab for Saturday. Can I do that at a Samurai exhibit...don't see why not, hot men in cool garb. <Sigh>
Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/15/09 11:30 PM
Sounds like fun.

How are things on the home front?
Posted By: Grace_O Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/16/09 02:40 AM
D's are doing better. Youngest still sees a C weekly. That could be happening regardless though. At least the self destructive stuff seems to have stopped. Ever vigilant is the name of that tune.

I work and take classes and do the homey stuff.

H still comes once a week to visit. I am watching myself for assumings and knee jerks as he has shown some friendlier interest. Heck, even went on trip with us.

Nothing has changed as far as his moving forward with D.

All in all, life is grand (so is the wheather right now too) smile
Posted By: Fallgirl Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/16/09 04:28 PM
What`s on this Saturday, Grace?
Posted By: Grace_O Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/16/09 04:40 PM
Hey Fallgirl

It's talk like a pirate day! I like to dress like one too, but I have plans with D's that would interfere.

What are you doing this weekend? Anything special?
Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/16/09 07:18 PM
Holy Hindu Cow on a Bun!

I totally forgot about speak like a pirate day on Saturday!

Thank ye, Ye buxom wench fer remindin this old scally wag of a sea dawg, before me mates keel hauled me fer fergettin!
Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/16/09 07:19 PM
25 years!

[applaude]

NICE AMAZING post to K4
Posted By: smith18 Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/16/09 08:12 PM
For all you wanna be pirates...there is evidence to show that becoming a pirate for no good reason is the ultimate mid life crisis...

The Gentleman Pirate

And in this day and age, if you really must raise the Jolly Roger, then hanging will be the least of your worries...

http://grizzlygroundswell.theodoremedia.com/files/2009/04/usnavy.jpg
Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/16/09 08:34 PM
"but it seems unlikely that a nagging wife alone could be enough to drive a law-abiding gentleman to piracy."

Arrrg, I disagrrrrrrree. Seems like just enough.
Posted By: smith18 Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/16/09 09:09 PM
Aey matey - during his trial, he put all the blame on Blackbeard and not his nagging wife.
Posted By: dl443322 Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/16/09 09:15 PM
Boys will be boys. Just sayin'.
Posted By: Grace_O Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/16/09 09:25 PM
Quote:
becoming a pirate for no good reason


aye, there's the rub....
Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/16/09 09:39 PM
rub...

I'll be in me bunk.
Posted By: sleeper Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/16/09 10:35 PM

"...Naval tradition! It's nothing but rum, sodomy and the lash." Sir Winston Churchill

Iffin thar be any holden themselves ta be men amongst ye pirates, jump ship to tha King's navey.

Ye won't find me tarrying thar for ye but ye can jump just tha same!

Twasn't able ta grow a taste fer navey rum myself.
Posted By: Fallgirl Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/17/09 08:21 PM
C`mon guys! You`ll have run out of things to say by Saturday!Think I`ll need a barrel of rum though to get me in the mood!
Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/17/09 08:38 PM
you aren't a cheap date are ya?
Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/17/09 08:50 PM
...as in a barrel of rum...which is just $126 for a barrel of molasses...which is the base of rum...additional cost...nevermind.
Posted By: Fallgirl Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/17/09 09:54 PM

'That's why your kids are awesome Oz."

Yay! JTB, I figure the above(damn but I can`t quote properly) was your 7,000th post!

...Reminding us all what really important in the DB business...

As for my not so cheap date, hmmmm, I admit I`m high maintenance. And the rum is only a very small part of that...

But I`m willing to share...

A tankard or two.

With me hearties.

Three sheets to the wind with the jolly old tars and all of that!

Har! Har!
Posted By: Grace_O Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/17/09 10:08 PM
I amy not always be cheap....but I'm easy(going) wink
Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/17/09 10:27 PM
The things I know now, would have served me well when I was younger.

I'm just saying...
Posted By: Golfgirl1 Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/17/09 11:56 PM
I think we could all say that...but would it have stopped the MLC? That, for me, is the million dollar question....
Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/17/09 11:59 PM
I wasn't talking about my wife.

I was talking about before I knew her.

: )

It is a what if question who's answer...cannot change what has happened.
Posted By: brandnewday Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/18/09 12:05 AM
There is nothing you could have done to prevent MLC

There is nothing you can do to stop it from runing it's course.

You can however do things to change yourself so that if the marriage is reconcilled you will have a better relationship then before.

And even it isn't, you will be a better version of yourself.
Posted By: Golfgirl1 Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/18/09 02:14 AM
And I am doing just that!

Just got home from softball...would NEVER have played if no MLC! smile
Posted By: Grace_O Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/18/09 04:14 AM
Nice.

What position do you play?
Posted By: frank_D Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/18/09 10:04 PM
Wasn't sure if this was posted: Official Site for Talk Like a Pirate Day
Posted By: smith18 Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/18/09 10:33 PM
I am thinking of taking the kids to the Portland Pirate Festival tomorrow:

http://www.portlandpiratefestival.com/

They are trying to set the world record for "The Most Pirates in one Place".

I know if I show the kids THIS that there is no making other plans. I kind of had my heart set on going to a nearby Oktoberfest to eye some of the fraulein.
Posted By: frank_D Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/18/09 11:00 PM
Arrr, if we talk like a pirate for no reason, does that means we're in MLC?
Posted By: smith18 Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/18/09 11:15 PM
What is a pirates favorite South American country?

What is a pirates favorite type of socks?

What kind of movies do pirates like?

Answers be below decks...










































"Arrr-gentina"

"Arrr-gyle"

"Arrr-rated"
Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/18/09 11:26 PM
Cold enough to freeze the balls off of a brass monkey is not as vulgar as it sounds.

Brass Monkeys were what held the cannon balls. When it was cold enough the pig iron would contract and the iron cannon balls would fall out of the holders.
Posted By: Grace_O Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/18/09 11:29 PM
LOL

The pirate festival that's in my neck of the woods is in June. <sigh>

Sounds like somebody in Oregon had a good plan.

There's always a reason to talk like a pirate....it's cool!
Posted By: smith18 Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/18/09 11:32 PM
You live in Alaska. Winter is approaching. It is time to secure your balls somewhere safer than in the hands of a monkey.
Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/18/09 11:40 PM
Their safe...in my wife's purse.
Posted By: SoCo Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/19/09 12:58 AM
As they should be matey!!! LOL Is that how you spell matey???? ummmm... ARRRRRRR
Posted By: smith18 Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/20/09 06:09 AM
Hey, I went to the Portland Pirate Festival today and it was great. Yar!
Posted By: Grace_O Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/20/09 05:20 PM
I'm envious. Was it a pretty big event?

I'm just taking a break from tree triming. I've got to get that pole saw.
Posted By: frank_D Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/22/09 02:18 AM
September 21, 2009

NOTE FROM CHRIS:

Saturday (September 19) was International Talk Like a Pirate Day. But not everyone played along.


The Top 5 Signs Your Co-Workers Hate Talk Like a Pirate Day


5> Each of your hearty "Ahoy!"s is met with a frosty "Bite me, Eyepatch-Boy."

4> Your choices: Keep it to yourself or walk the plank. From the 14th story.

3> Someone pooped all over your shoulder, and there's not a parrot in sight.

2> Getting a snack is difficult, what with the life-size effigies of Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom hanging in front of the vending machines.


and Topfive.com's Number 1 Sign Your
Co-Workers Hate Talk Like a Pirate Day...

1> People keep tacking notices to your peg leg. Only you don't *have* a peg leg.


[ Copyright 2009 by Chris White/TopFive.com ]


Today's full 15-item list, as well as the
Runners Up and Honorable Mention list submissions
"Pegheads" and "Folly Rogers"
are included in our ClubTop5 edition, as are many extras.

Join today! http://www.topfive.com/html/clubsubs.html

==================================================================
Selected from 67 submissions from 27 contributors.
Today's Top 5 List authors are:
------------------------------------------------------------------
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Posted By: frank_D Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/22/09 02:19 AM
Originally Posted By: Grace_O
I'm envious. Was it a pretty big event?


Bevis and Butthead say: he he, you said 'pretty big event' he he
Posted By: Grace_O Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/22/09 02:21 AM
Quote:
Bevis and Butthead say: he he, you said 'pretty big event' he he


Who? wink
Posted By: smith18 Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/22/09 02:36 AM
Originally Posted By: Grace_O
I'm envious. Was it a pretty big event?

They set the world record for most pirates gathered in one place - 1651!

I wish they would try to break that record in Somalia - and someone could do a follow up record for most pirates made peaceful with a Daisy Cutter.
Posted By: sleeper Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/22/09 02:55 AM
Quote:
They set the world record for most pirates gathered in one place - 1651!


Was that the year or the number of pirates?

(there wasn't a pirate icon so I used the smiley with one eye closed)
Posted By: Mach1 Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/22/09 05:37 PM
Originally Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans
A poem:

A font of advice, mostly sage,
Silenced the powers rage.
Mach, oh poor Mach!
Alack!
Banned!
Banned.
Banned…

Post links no more.


See ya when you get out of your corner : )




Oh, you are truly the funniest pirate I've met....

I'm thinkin she should have hit you with that book while it was still in the fire safe.....


No more corner for me.....
Posted By: fisherman Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/22/09 05:42 PM
Originally Posted By: Mach1
No more corner for me.....


Dude you've gotta STOP watching Dirty Dancing so much.
Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/22/09 05:42 PM
I'm glad you're back that boat guy didn't know his butt from his belbow.
Posted By: Grace_O Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/22/09 11:06 PM
blush

Ok. Not really.
Posted By: Mach1 Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/24/09 12:53 PM
Since you don't really want this public....


HAPPY BIRTHDAY PIRATE !!!!!!!

I hope the day brings you everything that you desire in a positive way....

An inspiration to many you have been...

A pain in the a$$ to the others...

Thank you man.....for everything.

Beer on me one day....
Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/24/09 03:02 PM
It's not Jack's birthday...just his driver.

But thanks.
Posted By: fisherman Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/24/09 03:03 PM
Happy Birthday Jack's Driver!!!
Posted By: fisherman Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/24/09 03:11 PM
Mach I thought you were going to sing him a song about apples.
Posted By: cat04 Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/24/09 04:07 PM
Happy Birthday Jack.

Hey, have you ever been to Old Newgate Prison?

Really neat place.
Posted By: LolaL Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/24/09 04:19 PM
Jack!!! You be old???? Happy Birthday!!!!!

Mach? They let you have your name back?

Geez. I am going to have to complain. wink
Posted By: brandnewday Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/24/09 04:44 PM
grin grin grin

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR JEFFFFFFFFFF
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
grin grin grin
Posted By: Grace_O Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/24/09 04:58 PM
Well then, Happy Birthday to Jack's driver and a very Merry Unbirthday to Jack grin
Posted By: SoCo Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/24/09 06:38 PM
Happy Birthday Jack!
Posted By: dl443322 Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/24/09 07:06 PM
Happy Birthday, Jack. And many more....
Posted By: frank_D Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/24/09 07:52 PM
Happy birthday man! Arrhhhhh!
Posted By: smith18 Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/24/09 07:59 PM
Happy Birthday Mate!

Jack's cake

Jack's Mind
Posted By: WCW Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/24/09 10:28 PM
Happy birthday Mr Beans, and your driver too!
Be careful where your driver takes you...
Posted By: Amy40 Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/25/09 02:26 AM

Happy Birthday, old friend! wink
Posted By: smith18 Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/25/09 05:03 AM
Originally Posted By: Amy40
Happy Birthday, old friend! wink

Is that you Dale? crazy
Posted By: are you kidding Happy birthday - 09/25/09 07:43 PM
Happy birthday.
Posted By: a new 2moro Re: Happy birthday - 09/25/09 07:52 PM
Happy Birthday to you Mr J3B
Posted By: LolaL Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/25/09 07:57 PM
Originally Posted By: KerryK
Happy Birthday Mate!

Jack's cake

Jack's Mind


ROFLMFAO!!! PERFECTO!!!!!
Posted By: mountain_west Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/25/09 10:18 PM
Very sparkly. smile
Posted By: Amy40 Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/25/09 11:13 PM
Originally Posted By: KerryK
Originally Posted By: Amy40
Happy Birthday, old friend! wink

Is that you Dale? crazy


Indeed, it is.
Look what the cat drug in!

Happy late birthday, Jack('s driver!)
Posted By: Amy40 Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/25/09 11:37 PM
Blah, OJ!

wink
Posted By: fisherman Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/25/09 11:42 PM
The tone of this typing sounds awfully familar.
Posted By: Amy40 Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/25/09 11:50 PM

grin
Posted By: Mach1 Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/26/09 01:27 PM
Originally Posted By: Amy40

grin


Newbie.....


;p
Posted By: Amy40 Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/27/09 12:09 AM
You wish, Dork1! LOL!
Posted By: frank_D Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/27/09 12:22 AM
Originally Posted By: Mach1
Originally Posted By: Amy40

grin


Newbie.....


;p




Oh yeah, what a NOOB!
Posted By: brandnewday Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/27/09 12:38 AM
I sense the distinct sound of Dr.Pepper being slurped.....
Posted By: Drew Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/28/09 07:06 PM
Happy Belated Birthday, Jack!!!

Grace!!!!!!
Posted By: Grace_O Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/28/09 08:47 PM
((((Drew))))

How you be?
Posted By: Drew Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/28/09 10:08 PM
I'm REALLY good Grace!!! Life is funny sometimes. smile

How are YOU??????

(((((Grace)))))
Posted By: *KS*Chick* Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/29/09 03:15 AM
Amy has a 40? What? Sorry - couldn't resist. Saw FB was banned for you J3B - sorry about that.
Posted By: smith18 Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/29/09 04:12 AM
How do you get banned from FB? Using text to skull devices to alter others perception?
Posted By: Mach1 Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/29/09 11:35 AM
KS....

Is that really you ?

This thread is bringing them all out of hiding....

Where the hell is Jeanette ?
Posted By: *KS*Chick* Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/29/09 11:43 AM
Si Senor it's Kansas! :P
Posted By: fisherman Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/29/09 11:55 AM
Wow you're up early!
Posted By: *KS*Chick* Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/29/09 01:53 PM
What time do you have your board set for? I didn't get out of bed till 630 or so.....I was up late again LOL
Posted By: Grace_O Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/30/09 05:17 PM
Hey Drew,

Look me up on FB. I'd love to catch up. Just look under DB and my "given" pirate name smile
Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/30/09 06:28 PM
banned from work, barred...verboten.

FB or paycheck...no brainer.

back from 5 days off...

: )
Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/30/09 06:29 PM
oh yeah, Thanks everyone.
Posted By: Mach1 Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/30/09 06:48 PM
Originally Posted By: Jack_Three_Bears
...no brainer.



Perfect decision for you then.....

Originally Posted By: Jack_Three_Bears

back from 5 days off...

: )



Oh, You were gone ?


How was the BD ?
Posted By: fisherman Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/30/09 06:52 PM
Welcome back Jack.






sipping an iced mocha....after finishing a club sandwich.
Posted By: *KS*Chick* Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/30/09 07:22 PM
I do wonder how many people checked your thread for the "magic" answer or the quick fix answer to MLC........

how was the b-day?
Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/30/09 07:57 PM
at first? 40 views...0 posts.

Amazingly cool. Thanks.
Posted By: *KS*Chick* Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 09/30/09 08:19 PM
that is awesome! were your ears ringing?
Posted By: sleeper Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 10/01/09 03:16 AM
Quote:
...how many people checked your thread for the "magic" answer or the quick fix (Magic Bullet for MLC)


158 grain lead semi-jacketed hollow point in .357 magnum

But I don't recommend it.
Posted By: smith18 Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 10/01/09 05:06 AM
This is Jack's grill...

http://billstclair.com/blog/images/sw500-grill-600x383.jpg
Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 10/01/09 06:19 PM
That would be awesome!
Posted By: Lostforwords Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC - 10/01/09 11:03 PM
JTB,

I know this is your post and I hate to ask....but I need advice. My post is over in separated....Can I get some advice?

Thanks,
Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans Quick Fix Magic Bullet for the Flu? - 10/08/09 05:59 PM
Ahhhh F berries...

I can feel the warm sickness in my back and neck and radiating outward like dark aching tendrils of infected corruption.

My eyelids are heavy and getting sore. And I can feel the sinus pressure building up like dry electric pepper.

Anyone have any good suggestion to fighting the flu?
Any home remedies?
Posted By: Rob1231 Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for the Flu? - 10/08/09 06:02 PM
I have successfully fought off the cold/flu stuff as it started to get me, a couple of times recently, by taking repeated massive doses of Vitamin C + Other Good Ingredients, available in packets you mix with water and drink.

I recommend paying the surcharge for the name brand "Emergen-C" (either raspberry or tangerine flavor) - the generic equivalents are NASTY!! Good luck!
Not quite overdose with vitamin C...check.
Posted By: hoosiermama Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for the Flu? - 10/08/09 06:15 PM
Originally Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans
Ahhhh F berries...

I can feel the warm sickness in my back and neck and radiating outward like dark aching tendrils of infected corruption.

My eyelids are heavy and getting sore. And I can feel the sinus pressure building up like dry electric pepper.

Anyone have any good suggestion to fighting the flu?
Any home remedies?
call your doctor, tell him you think you have the flu; they'll get you in today or tomorrow morning, most likely, swab your nose and you'll have an answer. And if it's the flu, they'll give you the anti-flu thing, and nothing else works quite so well. medical practices right now are set up to deal with outbreaks, get you in and treated quickly.
Going to the doctor is like admitting defeat!

I refuse!

I might as well wear a beret eat smelling cheese and start speaking French!


...

Woah...

Nyquil's kickin in...

fuzzy. : )
If you eat enough bacon...you should be immune to the swine flu..right?
Posted By: hoosiermama Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for the Flu? - 10/08/09 06:34 PM
Originally Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans
Going to the doctor is like admitting defeat!

I refuse!

I might as well wear a beret eat smelling cheese and start speaking French!


...

Woah...

Nyquil's kickin in...

fuzzy. : )


hey, I"m a nurse and that's what I said, too (in fact we're waaaaay worse than layfolk in that area) until yesterday. turns out my flu turned into pneumonia. It was all far easier than I anticipated to get in. But nyquil is good too.
Posted By: Grace_O Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for the Flu? - 10/08/09 06:51 PM
Bacon makes eveything better. Too bad I can't get some of my bacon truffles to you.

I take vitamin C, zinc and golden seal. Seems to work for me.
If it is the flu (ie: comes on hard and fast, high temp), go see the doc. It damn near killed me once.

Get some sleep Fuzzyhead smile
Posted By: Mach1 Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for the Flu? - 10/08/09 06:56 PM
Nyquill has medicine ?

Not just a sleep aid anymore then......

Quote:
Ahhhh F berries...

I can feel the warm sickness in my back and neck and radiating outward like dark aching tendrils of infected corruption.

My eyelids are heavy and getting sore. And I can feel the sinus pressure building up like dry electric pepper.



Big baby......


I could send you a Doctor....or two:)
Posted By: smith18 Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for the Flu? - 10/08/09 07:09 PM
Jack - Suck it up and go see a doctor. While you are there, ask about methods for lowering your testosterone level and why you need a colonoscopy.

Rest is your friend when you have the flu.
colonoscopy

Crazy talk...modern voodoo. Pass.
Posted By: D Money Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for the Flu? - 10/08/09 11:59 PM
Originally Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans
Ahhhh F berries...

I can feel the warm sickness in my back and neck and radiating outward like dark aching tendrils of infected corruption.

My eyelids are heavy and getting sore. And I can feel the sinus pressure building up like dry electric pepper.

Anyone have any good suggestion to fighting the flu?
Any home remedies?


You even whine eloquently. Nice.
; )

Thanks.
Posted By: D Money Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for the Flu? - 10/09/09 12:17 AM
Aside from the flu, how ya doing?

Haven't talked to you in awhile.
Posted By: kjensen Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for the Flu? - 10/09/09 01:51 PM
Hi Jack,
Hope you're feeling better-takes awhile for the flu to go away. Definitely see a doctor if you don't start feeling somewhat better in a few days-thats when alot of people are being diagnosed with pneumonia and bronchitis as secondary infections.

If its still with the first 48 hours you could just call your doctor and ask them to prescribe Tamiflu-works like a wonder drug for most people.
my head is made of cheese

so sleepy
Posted By: Amy40 Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for the Flu? - 10/09/09 06:08 PM
Sure is a lot of whining going on up in here for such a typically testosterone filled thread....

Men are such babies when they get sick...

Whoever heard of a whiny pirate?

LOL


Love ya, baby Jack ~

Feel better soon!

wink

Men are babies when we get sick. I'll agree.

But let me pose a hypothesis to you all.

: )

Either women do not complain when they are sick.

Or

There is no change in the level of complaining when they are sick, we are just inured to it.


Its a puzzle.
Posted By: Amy40 Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for the Flu? - 10/09/09 07:37 PM
That might apply to ORDINARY women, Jack.

But not us here.

No, no, no.

We are anything BUT ordinary!

By and large, THIS group of women knows how to zip it up and press on through.

And THAT is why ya love us!

wink
Posted By: smith18 Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for the Flu? - 10/09/09 08:38 PM
Originally Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans
There is no change in the level of complaining when they are sick, we are just inured to it.

Dude, your logic is impeccable even when you are sick!
: )

as an aside...

IF the blight cursed pop crap radio station my manager has her radio glued too plays the Black Eyed Peas "I got a feeling" one more fing time...I'm going to blow up the radio station. 3 times every hour? 3?
Have a great weekend guys.

Time for the 3 Ns.

Nyquil
Nap
Nookie

I'll settle for 2.
Posted By: sleeper Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for the Flu? - 10/10/09 12:29 AM
Quote:
Either women do not complain when they are sick.

Or

There is no change in the level of complaining when they are sick, we are just inured to it.

Its a puzzle.


Or...

There is no manipulative value to be realized by their further complaining.
Posted By: dl443322 Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for the Flu? - 10/10/09 12:45 PM
Ah hem, hello? We could hear you!!!

We do not have the ultimate claim on freakin complaining. I know some men who never shut the f@#k up. How about that?
Posted By: sleeper Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for the Flu? - 10/10/09 01:08 PM
Quote:
I know some men who never shut the f@#k up. How about that?


Some men are more in touch with their feminine side than others.
Posted By: sleeper Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for the Flu? - 10/12/09 01:27 AM
Ok, Ok....

I was just kidding. I didn't mean to ruin the Chi on this thread. My sense of humor is very dry. I've always had a biting sence of humor founded in Monty Python and Saturday Night Live (not that SNL crap that came later).

Guys complain a lot.

We're all basically bloated mama's boys.

Women rock !

Women rule !

Women are tougher than us.........

My mom was a woman.

My daughter will be a woman one day.

I fear my son will be one too......

Ok I give up.
Swine Flu sucks.
Posted By: kjensen Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for the Flu? - 10/14/09 10:29 PM
Nobody expects the ....Swine Flu!
LOL, I'll have to use that one.

As an aside, should there ever be a zombie virus...I'm shooting my friend in the head right after she says she's not contagious anymore.
Posted By: smith18 Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for the Flu? - 10/14/09 10:42 PM
In the event of a zombie virus...I hope you arm yourself with something other than that hand cannon. It's all about quantity, not quality.
.22 targeting pistol.

All about the ability to replace/find ammo,and noise discipline.

Cutlass and crowbar.
Posted By: smith18 Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for the Flu? - 10/14/09 11:02 PM
XW took all the pistols and left me with just the .22 rifle and a pellet gun. I was hoping to get by with just pepper spray. Am I going to be zombie food?
ZombieKibble...I mean Kerry.

No...you won't. You should stock up on alot of potables and canned goods, and let me know where you live for when I make my supply runs south.
Posted By: Grace_O Re: Quick Fix Magic Bullet for the Flu? - 10/15/09 01:01 PM
Just don't forget the double tap....
Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans Bosses Day? - 10/16/09 06:58 PM
What scyophant apple polisher thought this one up?

Seriously?

A little diddy from the animated Lord of the Rings.

"We just do what the Dark Lord says.
Where there's a whip;
There's a way!"

hrnmmm

actually...
It's not to far off from marriage...
Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans Repetitive - 10/22/09 06:05 PM
I need an impartial eye toward the following letter. Thanks in advance.

Quote:

Dear Play List director at KGOT 101.3,

I understand that popularity must be king in a market as hard to cater to and as diverse as Anchorage Alaska, similar in scope as trying to find a niche in Tenney, MN. population 6 by the way.

Look, I am worried that should anything happen to the Black Eyed Peas your random and vibrant playlist of 6 most popular songs songs will suffer.

What would happen if you wore out the "I Got a Feeling - Tonights Going to be a good Night" CD...and I tell you, from hearing that song every 10 minutes on your diverse radio station it is a very likely possibility.

You need to conserve a song like that, play such a meaningful song maybe once every week.

Or....did someone there lose a bet to another radio station? If that is the case, you must ask yourself...is keeping my end of the bet worth the possible decline of my radio stations popularity?

Thank you, while I wouldn't say I am a fan of KGOT, I would say I'm a man one song shy of firebombing your corporate offices.

Sincerely,
Mach

Posted By: fisherman Re: Repetitive - 10/22/09 06:10 PM
LMFAO!!!
Posted By: Mach1 Re: Repetitive - 10/22/09 06:12 PM
That is F-ing perfect man.....

My sig and all......


LMFAO !
Posted By: Grace_O Re: Repetitive - 10/22/09 06:13 PM
While I personally really like the firebombing comment, I suspect it's the only thing that could have unhappy consequences.

Love the sarcasm and I needed the laugh.

Thanks!
Posted By: smith18 Re: Repetitive - 10/22/09 06:15 PM
2nd paragraph has the typeo "songs songs".

You might also recommend for them to play Arlo Guthrie's "Alice's Restaurant Massacree" a couple times each day.
Posted By: *KS*Chick* Re: Repetitive - 10/22/09 06:38 PM
LOL I think it's perfect!

I mean........I gotta feelin'''''''' whooooooo hoooooooooo that it's perfect!
Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans Re: Repetitive - 10/22/09 06:40 PM
Sending some 'disdain' your way KS. : )
Posted By: cat04 Re: Repetitive - 10/22/09 06:41 PM
Jack,

That was brilliant!!!
Posted By: *KS*Chick* Re: Repetitive - 10/22/09 06:47 PM
I do what I can! smile
Posted By: smith18 Re: Repetitive - 10/22/09 11:22 PM
Jack -

Is it your preference to listen to KGOT or do you play it just for the sake of your kids? The reason I ask is I looked at their web site and noticed quite a few Miley Cyrus, Justine Timberlake and Britney Spears play list songs in addition to the Black Eyed Peas.

Do you ever listen to Rock and Roll on K-Whale 106.5?

Signed,

A Concerned Coastie
Posted By: SoCo Re: Repetitive - 10/22/09 11:24 PM
Tonight's gonna be a good good night......LMAO.
Posted By: *KS*Chick* Re: Repetitive - 10/22/09 11:25 PM
tonight's gonna be a real good night......
Posted By: SoCo Re: Repetitive - 10/22/09 11:28 PM
Tonight's the night!
Let's live it up!
Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans Re: Repetitive - 10/22/09 11:29 PM
1st SoCo you suxxor big time. wink

2nd...Kerry it is my boss that listens to the station...

I actually hear her giggle when that song comes on...

Hrnmmm...it is a button...she put a button on me.

Ohhhhhhhhh...

Thank you Kerry.

106.5 Bob and Mark in the Morning.
Posted By: smith18 Re: Repetitive - 10/22/09 11:31 PM
Good to hear. Good to hear.

For a minute there, I thought you were a metrosexual man living in Alaska. I had a vision of you carrying a man bag and bronzing your skin.
Posted By: SoCo Re: Repetitive - 10/22/09 11:31 PM
wink Happy to help.
Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans Re: Repetitive - 10/22/09 11:40 PM
SoCo...Your definition of 'help' is wrong.

Kerry...the only man bag I have is in my wife's purse, where it belongs.
Posted By: SoCo Re: Repetitive - 10/23/09 01:30 AM
I got my money!
Let's spend it up!

Okay, I'm done now. Don't want a mad Jack.

Hmmmm, Jack with a murse and a tan... I dunno about all that.
Posted By: *KS*Chick* Re: Repetitive - 10/23/09 01:45 AM
Mazel Tov!
Posted By: SoCo Re: Repetitive - 10/23/09 12:01 PM
grin
Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans Re: Repetitive - 10/23/09 08:35 PM
Since there seems to be some sort of meet up in Texas and other parts of the world.

I am here to inform you that there will be on in Anchorage Alaska.

Yes you heard it right.

The bestest biggest and most blastinest DB meet up in the history of DB meet ups.

I am going to have such a good time all by myself.


Yeah...and before anyone decides to ban delete or censor me...

I'm the only F-ing DBer in Alaska...so its kinda pointless.
Posted By: SoCo Re: Repetitive - 10/23/09 10:01 PM
Awwww Jack. That makes me sad for ya man. Come to TX! I can find the Black Eyed Peas song for ya.
Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans Re: Repetitive - 10/23/09 10:24 PM
Dear God in Heaven have you not been paying attention woman?
Posted By: Amy40 Re: Repetitive - 10/23/09 10:34 PM

Don't tease or Dork1 and I could end up at your igloo if we get a wild hair cool
Posted By: SoCo Re: Repetitive - 10/23/09 10:38 PM
Hahahaha. Yes of course I have! ; ) I pay attention. Breaking out the "woman" on me huh? I don't know about all that...
Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans Re: Repetitive - 10/23/09 10:41 PM
man?
Posted By: frank_D Re: Repetitive - 10/24/09 12:57 AM
Originally Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans


I'm the only F-ing DBer in Alaska...so its kinda pointless.


There used to be a guy whose handle was 'Alaska'. So you're not the ONLY one. wink
Posted By: *KS*Chick* Re: Repetitive - 10/24/09 02:14 AM
who is Dork1?
Posted By: Amy40 Re: Repetitive - 10/24/09 05:15 AM
Mach1 - Craig
Posted By: *KS*Chick* Re: Repetitive - 10/24/09 01:57 PM
ah - thanks
Posted By: SoCo Re: Repetitive - 10/24/09 02:34 PM
Ummmmmm, no not man. You know, the "woman" just sounds sort of... ummmm.... cavemanish. LOL
Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans Re: Repetitive - 10/26/09 04:03 PM
Quote:

just sounds sort of... ummmm.... cavemanish


AWESOME!!!

I needed that smile.
Posted By: SoCo Re: Repetitive - 10/26/09 06:05 PM
Hahaha. Glad to give you a grin. grin
Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans Re: Repetitive - 10/28/09 09:42 AM
Woo Hoo...

Back from Unalakleet Alaska.

Want some fun?

Google images Unalakleet.

Then Google Map it....and see whats around.

f-me...I'm tired.
Posted By: Rob1231 Re: Repetitive - 10/28/09 01:29 PM
It does look a bit... isolated?

So, I'm curious, just what would take one to Unalakleet in the first place?
Posted By: smith18 Re: Repetitive - 10/28/09 01:39 PM
You didn't by chance run into a foul mouthed 56 year old Aleut named Rose? I'm curious if she ever got some front teeth.
Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans Re: Repetitive - 10/28/09 04:05 PM
The miracle of donation.
Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans Re: Repetitive - 10/28/09 04:07 PM
Ironically, we did meet a Rose, she wasn't yours, however, she was nice and sweet and pretty, and drove us the 2 minutes it took from airplane to clinic.
Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans Re: Repetitive - 10/28/09 04:42 PM
I need a coffee infusion STAT!

Have you ever been so tired you hallucinate?

Once, when I was driving I thought an overpass turned into a giant...that was a long time ago and I was 37 hour sleep depping.

Hold on I gotta go my stapler is trying to tell me soemthing.
Posted By: Mach1 Re: Repetitive - 10/28/09 05:03 PM
LOL

I had an Indian turn into a mailbox one night......

Wait, that wasn't sleep related though....

anyway,

oogruk ?

Are they better on the other side of the state ?
Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans Re: Repetitive - 10/28/09 05:33 PM
Ask Mr. Owl.
Posted By: Mach1 Re: Repetitive - 10/28/09 05:39 PM
Originally Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans
Ask Mr. Owl.



WHO ?
Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans Re: Repetitive - 10/28/09 05:41 PM
...ask Mr. Owl.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop?

Ask Mr. Owl.

To be used when you have no idea about an answer.

The answer is then...and always 3.
Posted By: *KS*Chick* Re: Repetitive - 10/28/09 07:00 PM
I thought the answer was always 42?
Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans Re: Repetitive - 10/28/09 07:03 PM
That's for Douglas Adams fans.
Posted By: Grace_O Re: Repetitive - 10/29/09 01:24 PM
Mr. Owl is a little more like me. He took three licks then bit it. Why? Because, it seemed like a good idea at the time.

When I look at most of the things I've done in my life, it all comes back to: seemed like a good idea....
Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans Who is being what for Halloween? - 10/30/09 05:51 PM
What are you dressing up as this Halloween?
Include your kids.
If you don't have kids and like destroying the self esteem of your pets, include them.
If you have neither, include your imaginary friends.

I am going as a Pirate. I alwasy go as a Pirate, simply put the costume my MIL made for me is too cool not too. Velvet broad coat, vest, the works and she got me boots for Christmas last year.

My wife tonight is going to the club as a bad fairy. Bow-chicka-wow-wow.
And tomorrow night a rival Pirate Captain.
We will duel over the rugrats loot after they go to bed...I think I have the advantage.

My oldest, who is 13 is putting the minimal effort into getting his candy loot, and he has a a mask and a hoodie.
I personally think there should be an effort to reward ratio on Hallowen candy.

My youngest, is going as a zombie...that will be 3 years running, but I figure go with what works. And he likes biting his older brother when he isn't looking.
Posted By: Rob1231 Re: Who is being what for Halloween? - 10/30/09 06:17 PM
My daughter and our Russian exchange student are going as (respectively) a teenage Russian girl and a teenage American girl - shooting for as over-the-top stereotyped as possible. Should be fun!
Posted By: smith18 Re: Who is being what for Halloween? - 10/30/09 07:31 PM
The perfect costume to destroy the self esteem of a small dog...

http://www.inquisitr.com/wp-content/funny-yoda-dog-costume.jpg

My son is Hercules. My daughter is going to be Snow White or a Caribbean fiesta fruit lady. She wants now to be something really scary, but it is too late.

I am a green crocodile with glow in the dark teeth and eyes.
Posted By: Drew Re: Who is being what for Halloween? - 10/30/09 07:58 PM
My significant other is going as a sexy Roller Derby Queen, I as the referee. smile

S15's are doing the minimal to get candy. S7 has some stupid mask that the XW got him. Thank gawd he's with me next Halloween .... smile
Posted By: Grace_O Re: Who is being what for Halloween? - 10/30/09 10:34 PM
My D17 is going as Eric Draven, D14 as Dorothy (ahem, Mom rocks when it comes to making ruby slippers grin )
and I haven't quite decided between a renassiance outfit or a devil.

Happy Looting to all!
Posted By: mountain_west Re: Who is being what for Halloween? - 10/31/09 12:04 AM
Renaissance devil perhaps?
Posted By: Grace_O Re: Who is being what for Halloween? - 10/31/09 03:57 PM
Quote:
Renaissance devil perhaps?


Nice suggestion wink

How you doing Mountain man? Plans for today?
Posted By: mountain_west Re: Who is being what for Halloween? - 11/01/09 04:06 AM
No plans. Laying low. Hope Halloween was nice for everyone.
Left 4 Dead 2 Demo...


OMFG!!!

I shat bricks!

I screamed like a little girl!

I kicked hundreds of zombieass, with a frying pan! A FRYING PAN!

The game made me feel like I was in New Orleans, all hot sweaty, likely hung over and possibly infected.

And then I died, over and over again.

Best line so far.

Overweight Coach:
"Who puts the Evac up 30 flights of stairs?"

Thin con man:
"Common Coach, the chopper is made out of chocolate."
Posted By: Drew Re: Who is being what for Halloween? - 11/04/09 05:37 PM
Jack,

Put. The. Controller. Down.

smile
You don't own me.
Posted By: Drew Re: Who is being what for Halloween? - 11/04/09 09:22 PM
Bet my boys could own you at Left 4 Dead though.

If I let them play, that is .....
I hate for you to have to see your boys cursing and getting all frustrated. : )

How are you doig buddy?
Posted By: Drew Re: Who is being what for Halloween? - 11/04/09 09:46 PM
Hey, thought I p'ed you off for a second!!!

You can find a glimpse of an update if you look ......... smile
LOL no sorry. My friend uses that on me when I tell/ask tell her to do something, I forgot the (smiley face) and I saw.
40 minutes ...roughly till DEMO Z-Day!

Kids are having "Jump up" Dinner.

As in Jump up and get it yourself!
As games go...

Me and my friends, GX-117, Red Eclipse, Agrithor, and me Jack,

We can dominate any other team, as long as no cheats are used.

Our tactics are soild, we comminucate EVERYTHING, we all have roles. Falling back, healing, cover fire.

Now, I am very aware that many of you who might read this have little idea of what I might be talking about. Let us just say that if you could watch us from a movie perspective in a game, we would move like a highly trained squad of SWAT or Special Forces that you would see in a movie.

Very confident in our ability and those of our team mates.

In Left 4 Dead we always come out on top.

In Left 4 Dead 2...

It was exactly like that movie where the extermely trained and well armed assualt squad goes to LV426. In the movie Aliens...and gets wiped out in the first 60 seconds of combat.

It was exactly like that.

We were screaming like little girls.

IT WAS AWESOME!
Posted By: smith18 Re: Who is being what for Halloween? - 11/05/09 08:03 PM
Game over man! http://www.viddler.com/explore/kmarion/videos/20/

The support people in my company still hold a grudge against me when I used that phrase in dialog box that I pop up when my code reached a rare condition in which there was nothing left to do but alert the user that our product was toast and was shutting down. Apparently, some customers did not find humor in my message.
LMAO!
Posted By: figgeroni Re: Who is being what for Halloween? - 11/05/09 10:58 PM
hey bean-man

I am ordering Cori these jobbies for Christmas from the kids

thought of you
but am not sure if you shoot real guns or just videogame ones
(I can't shoot either one)

http://www.letargets.com/zombies.aspx
Heya Fig,

I am more than capable in either a virtual zombie apocolypse...or the real one.

Those targets are the bomb!
Posted By: figgeroni Re: Who is being what for Halloween? - 11/05/09 11:50 PM
the boys should order you up some!!!

Cori has a zombie fighting rifle/gun whatever it is called

i like the giant light on the top

it's for his swat stuff
i can't fire it but I think I could knock their heads off if I swing it hard enough
Posted By: smith18 Re: Who is being what for Halloween? - 11/05/09 11:54 PM
Oh my! Our military practices on zombie targets? Something bad is coming down soon. Keep your powder dry.
Originally Posted By: sofaraway
I don't have that kind of time Jack......

I do not air other peoples stuff unless I know that they want it out there.

Quote:
Feeling badly for the kids...I still do not believe that Frank can afford to feel bad without getting mired in it. And while I did not feel bad for my kids, I will admit that I had very high hopes as to why.


Please explain????? Why?

Quote:
..I still do not believe that Frank can afford to feel bad without getting mired in it. And while I did not feel bad for my kids, I will admit that I had very high hopes as to why.


The thing is Jack, and yes I say this from experience, it is not a choice, you feel bad because you are a person of character and you cannot possibly sign those papers without a huge burden of sadness over your roles in the failure of your marriage and the loss of what we view as a pristine life for our children.

When you are the major cause of the divorce and the one who strayed, remorse just isnt a high point for ya is it?


Ian



I am going to stop trampling on Frank's thread with this.

I have to say I REALLY miss this type of discourse.

Explain why?

You mean why I do not think Frank needs to get mired in feeling badly?

Because he is so damn good at it.
We are talking about the same Frank right?

OR why I did not feel badly for my kids and my high hopes?

My high hopes, maybe a pipe dream maybe not, involved a life beyond my wife with a wonderful woman and mother who didn't deserve to be hurt when my wife begged for her last chance.
So when I caution people about dating before they are done...I actually know what I am talking about and the damage and pain they are capable of inflicting.

Quote:

The thing is Jack, and yes I say this from experience, it is not a choice, you feel bad because you are a person of character and you cannot possibly sign those papers without a huge burden of sadness over your roles in the failure of your marriage and the loss of what we view as a pristine life for our children.


Experience comes from our unique perspective, our perspective defines our reality, and our reality is our truth.

Signing papers...is just the legal, make the lawyers happy in my book. Brother, when I was done with her in...June 06? I was as far as I was concerned divorced.

That pristine marriage...that was simple not what we had. Neither me or my wife were very good parents up until that point. We loved our boys, but we were both selfish with our time, so when I say in all truth, I was a better awake father for this, I was far from sad.

But that is my experience.

Quote:

When you are the major cause of the divorce and the one who strayed, remorse just isnt a high point for ya is it?


: )

Seriously, did you mean to come off like a dickhead there? wink

Maybe I deserve that maybe I don't. I have done the time in my own head and kicked my own ass enough for the first marriage, but there was more than enough bad crap in it to cover all parties AND have enough left over for a picnic basket of crap sandwiches.

There is a huge difference between a straight WAH, or WAW, and an MLC WAS.

This reminds me of a joke.

AND this provisio was ADDED after I wrote it, so you COMPLETELY understand that I was refering ONLY to my first wife, and not you or any of the other f-ing amazing people here.

What do you call an LBS who won't listen, learn or improve themself?



















Divorced.
Posted By: dl443322 Re: Who is being what for Halloween? - 11/11/09 05:40 PM
Jack, even during the few times I disagreed with how you responded to someone - I always liked you. You shoot from the hip, you dont sugarcoat anything, and you're honest. In my neck of the woods, that's the way we like it.
Posted By: smith18 Re: Who is being what for Halloween? - 11/11/09 05:42 PM
Hey mate, are you getting your free meal today at Applebees?:

http://www.applebees.com/vetsday/

Originally Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans
I have 7,000 plus posts, you can rehash any of my history anytime you want too, I am who I am and I'm not sure I have hidden anything about my past.

What about that night in Vegas with the 2 midgets from Paraguay?
Posted By: brandnewday Re: Who is being what for Halloween? - 11/11/09 05:52 PM
My high hopes, maybe a pipe dream maybe not, involved a life beyond my wife with a wonderful woman and mother who didn't deserve to be hurt when my wife begged for her last chance.

Thank you for being real again.

Thank you for being human again.

I think you were very torn up also over the course of events that happened when your wife decided to come home, as I don't think you really expected her to.

How did you deal with that?
Ahhh thankyew...thankyew verymuch.

Nah...Applebees is too calorific!

Oz,

I was pissed and I really expected her to fail, and I was counting on it, I thought it was just a matter of time.

THAT taught me a very valuable lesson...I think the most valuable.
I love my wife. I will be married to her until I die...or she says she loves me but isn't in love with me again. : )

I love myself, and I do not need her to live a full life, I am a complete person, anyone else is just like ketchsup on fries...a great compliment, but not needed, just better. KWIM? wink
Posted By: sofaraway Re: Who is being what for Halloween? - 11/11/09 11:26 PM
Quote:
Signing papers...is just the legal, make the lawyers happy in my book. Brother, when I was done with her in...June 06? I was as far as I was concerned divorced.


I was done as well, yet the day I finally was declared divorced I balled like a baby. It's not just a piece of paper dude, it's a significant document, the same as your marriage certificate.

Quote:
Seriously, did you mean to come off like a dickhead there?


Sort of, more than that I meant to make a statement and maybe get an answer......

Quote:
Maybe I deserve that maybe I don't. I have done the time in my own head and kicked my own ass enough for the first marriage, but there was more than enough bad crap in it to cover all parties AND have enough left over for a picnic basket of crap sandwiches.


You do... my question is this, did you express your remorse to your 1st wife Jack? I am asking this in all seriousness. If you did, what did you say to her? If you didnt, what would you say if given the chance?

Quote:
What do you call an LBS who won't listen, learn or improve themself?


Lost phil.....Jazz Guitar.... .etc......


Ian
Quote:

You do... my question is this, did you express your remorse to your 1st wife Jack? I am asking this in all seriousness. If you did, what did you say to her? If you didnt, what would you say if given the chance?


I did, and please take the smile for what is worth, because face to face, I'd answer the same way with a smile AND a Beer.

I did, and that is none of your [censored] business. : )
Quote:

You do...


Reeeeeeallly?

How do my shoes fit? Nice? Comfy?

I got a guy with bigger balls athrone and a choir of angels who gets to judge me.

Bone head. ; )
Posted By: sofaraway Re: Who is being what for Halloween? - 11/12/09 03:36 AM
Originally Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans
Quote:

You do... my question is this, did you express your remorse to your 1st wife Jack? I am asking this in all seriousness. If you did, what did you say to her? If you didnt, what would you say if given the chance?


I did, and please take the smile for what is worth, because face to face, I'd answer the same way with a smile AND a Beer.

I did, and that is none of your [censored] business. : )


Well,I wasnt asking to get all personal with you. I was more asking because I would love to know what true remorse would look like from someone who had been in the same place as my wife.

Seriously, I was not asking to pry. I am very curious, I see a lot of folks on this board that say there spouse is showing remorse, but how do they really know?

Ian
Posted By: sofaraway Re: Who is being what for Halloween? - 11/12/09 03:40 AM
Originally Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans
Quote:

You do...


Reeeeeeallly?

How do my shoes fit? Nice? Comfy?

I got a guy with bigger balls athrone and a choir of angels who gets to judge me.

Bone head. ; )


I wouldn't be caught dead in gay asss pirate boots dude.... whistle

Oh and don't forget your talking to a Jew so I have no idea who you are referring to. The only guy I know who sits on a throne surrounded by angels is Reggie Jackson in the early 1980's.

Ian
Posted By: mindfull Re: Who is being what for Halloween? - 11/12/09 03:48 AM
Wow. This thread is cheap entertainment!

FYI. Chicks dig boots.

Ian, hiya. My H is Jewish. I'm thinkin' a nice pair of pirates boots would even out the weight of his nose!

You two are a nice distraction this evening. Where's your tip box?
Posted By: sofaraway Re: Who is being what for Halloween? - 11/12/09 03:53 AM
Quote:
Ian, hiya. My H is Jewish. I'm thinkin' a nice pair of pirates boots would even out the weight of his nose!


really??????
Posted By: mindfull Re: Who is being what for Halloween? - 11/12/09 04:03 AM
Let's just say the distraction would be welcomed! smile

Actually, its more his joke than mine.

Boots are good, though. I'm not sure about pirates boots, though... Don't they come coupled w/bloomers and a man-dress!
Posted By: sofaraway Re: Who is being what for Halloween? - 11/12/09 04:09 AM
Quote:
I'm not sure about pirates boots, though... Don't they come coupled w/bloomers and a man-dress!


I believe that is a ruffled shirt, not a dress.......and I also believe that there is a picture out there of our pirate friend that we could use your statement as a description.... eek
Posted By: Twink Re: Who is being what for Halloween? - 11/12/09 04:10 AM
Originally Posted By: sofaraway
Seriously, I was not asking to pry. I am very curious, I see a lot of folks on this board that say there spouse is showing remorse, but how do they really know?
Ian

Jack, you jumped in on my story very quickly and made me feel better right away. You did it again a few days ago. I value your input. I'd like to know this, too. How do I know, objectively, that my H's remorse is real?
Posted By: Punktmann Re: Who is being what for Halloween? - 11/12/09 05:59 AM
Jack! Miss ya bro, my fault, been too long away, too busy, Reads like home here tho, VERY nice.

Glad you're still hard to kill... grin I'm seriously chompin at the bit for L4D2 as well, but will have to wait for enough free time to play anyway. Might also be online later this year with that, we'll see how technology works out for me out here in the stix.

I'll be back in touch soon bro.


And a very super fond how-do to you as well Grace! Missed you too!


Punkt
Posted By: Grace_O Re: Who is being what for Halloween? - 11/12/09 01:56 PM
Hey Punkt,

Smooches!
Before I get into the deep heavy crap...

Punkt! How the hell have you been man? L4D2 is going to be awesome. Drop me a line with your gamertag if you have an XBox account.

Ian and mindful, more Pirates of the Carribean and less Pirates of Penzance. I know you're older Ian so the modern major general thing might be more at the forefront of your mind, if you're doing that though...then go with Captain Blood.

As for being Jewish, same God, I just read the sequel, and I believe that a bunny craps out chocolate and multi-colored eggs every April.

A Brooklyn Tony joke:

10 year old Tony is sitting on a park bench and eating a candy bar, once he is done he pulls another candy bar out of his coat pocket and eats that one too. An elderly man sees this and watches Tony eat 5 candy bars in a row and when Tony pulls out a sixth candy bar the old man can take it no more.

"Did you know that eating too much candy rots your teeth, can make you fat and can cause serious health issues in your life?"

Tony look sup at the guy and says, "My grandpa lived to be 101 years old."

"Did you're grandpa eat 6 candy bars a day?" The man inquired.

"No, he lived that long because he minded his own fukcing business."
Posted By: smith18 Re: Who is being what for Halloween? - 11/12/09 07:22 PM
Brooklyn Tony ON GRAMMAR:

Brooklyn Tony was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!"

The teacher replied, "Now, TONY, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate'. Please use the word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go."

Brooklyn Tony, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but if you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!"
I love Brooklyn Tony.
Ian and Twink.

I have been pondering the question about remorse as a WAH, what I said and what I did.

I used to use caveats all the time when I posted y opinion and advice. I shall do that now.

And this is a serious post, I am not trying to be funny or hurtful.

The caveats:

I am not your husband or wife. I did not have a Life Crisis, Mid or otherwise. I do not know if your spouse did have a mid-life crisis, but I can sum up that I believe a MLC is defined by confusion.

More importantly, neither of you was my first wife.

Both of those facts are important.

You both have worked on yourself. You both have improved yourself, you both listened and worked on issues. She didn’t.

When a spouse actually tells you about a problem, isn’t it usually in the best interest of the marriage to come to some sort of resolution? Give. Take. Compromise.

Did you guys do that? Did you listen?
She didn’t.

To suggest that I deserved that comment, you simply have no idea of what my marriage was like, what I went through or she went through.

The details are important, but unimportant here, for the choice. When I left, after marriage counseling after months of trying to make it work, to get her to realize how serious I was, I gave her no hope. I did not try to contact her, I left everything behind, and I told her it was over.

Was I perfect? No far from it, but I worked on trying to meet her halfway.

I had a lot more written of that background but I removed it. It was un-needed, it sounded like a rant, and I could still read the anger there at her and at myself.

We failed, she failed me and I failed her. No matter how much I believe I tried I failed her, effort was lacking on both sides.

That is my side of the story, and she has hers…somewhere close by or far away is the truth. 3 sides to every story.
The remorse?

That came at my lowest with my MLC wife. I sent her an email. Simply apologizing for the pain I caused her, but I thought she would like to know how bad everything for me had gotten.

I felt that it might somehow make her feel better knowing that my life sucked. I still am sorry for the pain I caused, but I do not regret my decision, and that was made clear.
Posted By: smith18 Re: Now for something completely different: - 11/12/09 11:09 PM
Being that I am a cautious dating guy, I am curious...

After you divorced and started dating again, were there signs that you were looking for in a woman so as to not choose someone who would not contribute their share to the relationship?

How long after divorcing did you meet your current wife? How long did you court her?
I met my wife prior to my divorce.
She would be the OW in my first marriage.

We ended the affair and I tried to work on my marriage with my wife. When I left, it was a very short time before I was with her.

Courting? Not really.

Let me make clear, she was not the reason I left, she didn't even make it easier to leave. I was not talking to her. I left for me.
Posted By: smith18 Re: Now for something completely different: - 11/13/09 12:09 AM
Thanks for sharing that.

That still does not help me in trying to decide what to look for in a good woman. Such is the dangers of dating. Maybe I should just clone a female version of myself. Nah! That would be too narcissistic. Plus, she would always know what I was thinking.
What to look for?

Someone you are happy to be around.
Someone you look forward to seeing at the end of your day.
Someone you can grow old with.
Someone who laughs at your jokes and makes you laugh at theirs.
Someone you feel young with.

We all have baggage. We all have history.
We don't have warning labels.
KerryK, do you have a current thread? I'd like to bounce some things around w/ you & hear frm u about that w/o hijacking this thread.

Anyway, I have to second Jack's answer 100%, and for me, that boils down to... a good sense of humor as a start.

Jack, I'm working on the online capabilities, I'll let you know as that realizes... Cd be a lot of fun.
Sorry I am so late in responding, but it is Bowling night tonight. Thank you for your candor, and understand this is a needed conversation for me, I am not discussing this to get my rocks off or bust your balls. You know me better than that.

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To suggest that I deserved that comment, you simply have no idea of what my marriage was like, what I went through or she went through.


Regardless of what your ex-wife did or didn't do and what happened, you had an affair Jack. You had an affair while you were married and nothing justifies that. Divorce is far to simple for there to ever be justification for that action.

It does not mean that it is something held against you, it simply means you screwed up. Blaming her for your actions, well that just won't fly with me because it is simply the kind of answer I would get from my ex-wife and unacceptable. Your marriage sucked, you wanted out, you did it the wrong way....enough said.

I do not hold judgment over folks that commit adultery, only those who do not acknowledge that it was wrong, regardless of what a dick or bitch they were married to.One of my good friends on this board had an affair on her husband, we discussed it at length and what I heard from her is remorse, acknowledgment that her path took her somewhere she should have never gone, she regretted that choice. Not leaving her husband, that choice.

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I felt that it might somehow make her feel better knowing that my life sucked. I still am sorry for the pain I caused, but I do not regret my decision, and that was made clear.


I cannot remember, was she aware of the affair?

Again, you are one of the good guys on this board Jack.You inspire people and you lead, whether you want to be that guy or not. However you have a lot to offer in the sense that you have played both sides of the game. I get that it sucks to talk about this on here, because of the sentiment towards the unfaithful spouses, but it is a reality and IMO and huge benefit to those who have been through this.


One last thing and then I am out for the night, and don't get pissy with me about it.. I know y'all don't get a lot of sun, but this whole defensive Jack is just not very Pirate like to me. Ok, here goes:

Is the reason you work/worked so hard to make your current marriage work because of the statistical data and your own need to justify the fact that you ended up with the OW? Or is it More because of how your first marriage ended up and feeling like you have learned how to succeed?

Ian
Posted By: smith18 Re: Now for something completely different: - 11/13/09 05:38 AM
Originally Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans
What to look for?

Someone you are happy to be around.
Someone you look forward to seeing at the end of your day.
Someone you can grow old with.
Someone who laughs at your jokes and makes you laugh at theirs.
Someone you feel young with.

We all have baggage. We all have history.
We don't have warning labels.

Yeah, I know all about looking for those requirements. I am just taking it easy enjoying time with the kids and interacting with some ladies online and out in public.

I'd like to get my financial situation a bit better to buy another sailboat so as to get back out into the ocean. Do you do much sea faring around Cook Inlet and the such? Albatross Bank off of Kodiak has kick ass Halibut, bottom fish and salmon fishing. I'm sure a boatswain's mate/pirate like yourself could finagle a way to get out there.

Originally Posted By: Punktmann
KerryK, do you have a current thread? I'd like to bounce some things around w/ you & hear frm u about that w/o hijacking this thread.

Hi Punk - I do have a thread here in Surviving:

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1870326

It is mostly just PAC 10 college football talk.
Ohhhhh, no no no no no no.

I am NOT justifying the affair. Never. I could offer up the most lame excuses for that and it would be like siding a house with tissue paper in the face of a hurricane. Pointless.

I was 100% wrong for the affair.
That my wife had an affair with me during my first marriage, well that should have indicated the problems she had in her own head. And something I dwelt on long and hard, seeking the attention of men who should be out of reach to make her self esteem feel better. The OM was my best friend, it is hard to come between two friends...its like a watermark.

Fukc, I wasn't saying you cannot judge me for the affair, hell I'll give you half my rocks on that one. I did not blame her for MY affair, that was all me.

I AM saying it is not up to you to judge me on leaving my marriage. It wasn't the affair, that was over. It was for me, I was done. There is a difference between a WAS and a MLC WAS. I cannot make that clear enough.

Like your friend, I regret the affair, but I do not regret leaving that marriage. I am also willing to bet your friend, also regrets the hurt she caused, and wondered if they could have been done without it. Talk about a pipe dream.

Defensive?

A bit. I had to think about that one. I am not proud of aspects of my past. I could have done things better...or not at all.

Was she aware of the affair?

No. I kept that from her. Why? altruism? Pfftpt, no.
Did I want to hurt her? Also no. It is more complicated than that. The truth is a mix of alot of diferent reasons.
Who wants to admit to an affair to their spouse? Who delibrately wants to hurt their spouse? Who wants to put everyone invloved through that?

She eventually found out. And that I regret, at the time I didn't care what she thought about me, but I would have kept that from her for her sake. Maybe that is warped thinking, I just do not see how that helped her in anyway.

Quote:

Is the reason you work/worked so hard to make your current marriage work because of the statistical data and your own need to justify the fact that you ended up with the OW? Or is it More because of how your first marriage ended up and feeling like you have learned how to succeed?


Pissy?

Actually Ian, I love you like a brother who I don't talk to that often...not many people challenge me, make me think, I actually miss that here. Not many people know that I am as cracked and tranished as they are. : )

These are old scars, that occasionally need to be bled.

Back to your question. Wow...

Quote:

Is the reason you work/worked so hard to make your current marriage work because of the statistical data and your own need to justify the fact that you ended up with the OW?


That's two questions. : ) I am answering these as completely as I can.
I am aware of the statistical numbers. I didn't stay married to prove them wrong, I don't work so hard on marriage to buck the odds. I like that we have, however. I am proud of that.

Justifying that I ended up with my wife...the OW.
I didn't leave my first marriage to be with her. So that is not entirely true. There IS some truth to it...but she was not the reason I got divorced. She was is my life shortly after I left my marriage, but did I fight so hard to stay married in MLC land because it would justify my past decision?
No.
There IS some truth to it...in this. We fight for the good times what we remember about the spouse the marriage, the relationship. Our past included the affair. And our relationship after the divorce. So that justified my reason to stay married.

Quote:

Or is it More because of how your first marriage ended up and feeling like you have learned how to succeed?


I'm living proof that I did not learn how to suceed in marriage after my first one. I learned what I didn't want, I learned what I did want. But I didn't learn HOW to be married.

I learned how to suceed in a marriage after DBing.

There was not one thing that was more of a reason than the others. It was a combination.


To those of you reading this.

You HAVE to understand, I empathize with your walk away spouse.
I understand why they did. So when I advise chhanging and it being real? I more than likely wouldn't be here if my first wife did. I more than likely wouldn't be here if she had discovered DBing and done the hard work.

I cannot stand it when a poster only sees their spouses fault for walking away with looking at themselves and seeing a NEED for a change. Yeah your perfect...and you're more than likely going to be divorced.

With a walk away spouse without MLC, I am willing to bet cash money they talked to you about their problems several times, and those issues were ignored or disregarded.

As a LBS of an MLCer, I empathize with the LBS as well. And I will STILL Tell you that you MUST change for yourself.
Posted By: smith18 Re: Now for something completely different: - 11/13/09 10:16 PM
Hey Zombie Killer -

How do you think you would fare against a zombie underwater?...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LfSqa1wmmxA

Warning before watching - there are exposed boobies.
Like I would against a shark...fail.

I'll check that out at home.
Posted By: smith18 Re: Now for something completely different: - 11/13/09 10:50 PM
That clip is from a pretty good Italian movie called "Zombie" that I watched a while back. I watched another movie called "The Beyond" by the same director last night. It sucked.

There was a doctor that was shooting zombies with a .357 in it. They went down with every head shot, however, body shots did nothing (as we all know). I was screaming at the tv last night whenever the doctor was wasting ammo with the body shots.
Quote:
That my wife had an affair with me during my first marriage, well that should have indicated the problems she had in her own head. And something I dwelt on long and hard, seeking the attention of men who should be out of reach to make her self esteem feel better. The OM was my best friend, it is hard to come between two friends...its like a watermark.


I truly hope that you feel like that is a past issue and that you are not continuing on with that in the back of your head a lot of the time. Trust is a fundamental foundation for any successful relationship, without it you are like one of those whack a moles at Chuck E Cheese, just waiting to get popped in the head again.

Quote:
I AM saying it is not up to you to judge me on leaving my marriage. It wasn't the affair, that was over. It was for me, I was done. There is a difference between a WAS and a MLC WAS. I cannot make that clear enough.


Not once did I judge you for that, I get what was wrong, I know what you did to try and fix it, and I understand why you wanted out. I judged only the mistake you made......

Quote:
I am also willing to bet your friend, also regrets the hurt she caused, and wondered if they could have been done without it.


She actually knows it could have been done without that, thats what I admire most about her......


Quote:
Was she aware of the affair?

No. I kept that from her. Why? altruism? Pfftpt, no.
Did I want to hurt her? Also no. It is more complicated than that. The truth is a mix of alot of diferent reasons.
Who wants to admit to an affair to their spouse? Who delibrately wants to hurt their spouse? Who wants to put everyone invloved through that?

She eventually found out. And that I regret, at the time I didn't care what she thought about me, but I would have kept that from her for her sake. Maybe that is warped thinking, I just do not see how that helped her in anyway.


Tough one here, not sure that I buy the not wanting to hurt her, seems to me you chose the wrong time to show concern for her feelings, probably should have happened before your pecker found it's way into a new nest. I am a firm believer that people who have been cheated on deserve the truth, it may hurt initially, but it is honest and that is always right.

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Actually Ian, I love you like a brother who I don't talk to that often...not many people challenge me, make me think, I actually miss that here. Not many people know that I am as cracked and tranished as they are. : )


First things first, tarnished, not tranished whistle

Second, love you to bro, and contrary to the conversation we are having and how people may read it, I have a great deal of respect for you and feel the same about the challenges.

Quote:
Not many people know that I am as cracked and tranished as they are.


Maybe you should show them that side more often, it happens to be that I find your best writing comes when you post about that stuff. Just my opinion.....

Quote:
I cannot stand it when a poster only sees their spouses fault for walking away with looking at themselves and seeing a NEED for a change. Yeah your perfect...and you're more than likely going to be divorced.


I am going to second this and add on that anyone on this board who believes that they were not at fault in any way for their situation, you are simply wrong.

Quote:
Defensive?

A bit. I had to think about that one. I am not proud of aspects of my past. I could have done things better...or not at all.


Each of us has a defensiveness about ourselves. It's part of analyzing life, we want to believe that we are a better person then our spouse so bad that when anything negative comes to light we put our wall up a bit. I think it's natural.


Lastly, thank you again for your candor. I for one believe this is a healthy thread Jack and one that will shed some light for some folks who really need to read some of this stuff to get a grasp on what it is they are dealing with. As tough as it is to talk about this stuff, it is so beneficial to those who are desperately trying to get a grip on why things are happening in their lives.

Ian
Quote:
Quote:
I cannot stand it when a poster only sees their spouses fault for walking away with looking at themselves and seeing a NEED for a change. Yeah your perfect...and you're more than likely going to be divorced.
I am going to second this and add on that anyone on this board who believes that they were not at fault in any way for their situation, you are simply wrong.


UUuuhhhhmmm.... hands in pockets... whistles... kicks rocks... Yeah.

What they said.
No judgment here Jack...actually the latest posts of yours explain a lot of the insight you have. Much like Sandi, Amy, and a few others...you have been on both sides of the fence. something I learned long ago is that you have to look at a problem from all angles and view points to understand it (Lack of this being my biggest problem with modern religion). You have that, so your opinion carries more weight and truthfulness.

Hope you have a great weekend. What is planned?
everyone has good qualities and bad qualtities

our job

as good humans

is to try to show our good qualities more often than our bad

so many things in my life I regret
but
if i don't learn anything from those things then they have been for naught

the learning
while painful
helps us grow

true regret means you don't repeat the mistakes of your past
It is a past issue.
In piercing you have to trust, but you also have to verify that trust. Past that now.
Posted By: Was2sad Re: Now for something completely different: - 11/16/09 10:50 PM
Figgy

Glad to see you got your keyboard fixed ... no more Figgied posts.

Is it okay to be a bad human, as long as we keep trying to be a better bad human but only change the things we must? There are some bad habits that are just too much fun to quit.

And is it possible that "true regret" is actually learning you failed to improve the first time, so now life is repeating itself ... something guaranteed to happen to those who don't pay attention the first time they ride the He!!coaster.

Oh yeah, is it bad to mess with Figgy, cause I don't remember the rule on that one and it could slow down my being a better person.

Now as for Amy ... puleeeez ... let there be no doubt. Uh, Amy isn't reading this thread is she Jack? smile

cool
Posted By: frank_D Re: Now for something completely different: - 11/16/09 11:05 PM
Originally Posted By: Was2sad

And is it possible that "true regret" is actually learning you failed to improve the first time, so now life is repeating itself ... something guaranteed to happen to those who don't pay attention the first time they ride the He!!coaster.


This is so true.
Deep conversation killed my thread.

in 25.5 hours, I'll be killing zombies in the Big Easy.
Hell if I know Was.
Posted By: smith18 Re: Now for something completely different: - 11/17/09 12:09 AM
Quote:
Deep conversation killed my thread.


You cant blame me - I tried to steer your thread conversation to zombie talk.

The #1 zombie rule:

Don’t be "that one a$$hole," in your group.
Textual analysis of zombie movies has proven that "that one a$$hole," a character ubiquitous in zombie and survival horror movies, only stands a 4.32% chance of surviving until the end of the movie.

Later studies have challenged that figure, citing several movies in which "that one a$$hole" was one-upped by "the other, bigger a$$hole," who then assumed "that one a$$hole" status.
...hrnm...

My chances are not good.
Posted By: sandycay Re: Now for something completely different: - 11/17/09 06:51 AM
Hey Jack

Your signature line...

I like it very much.
Posted By: SoCo Re: Now for something completely different: - 11/17/09 02:26 PM
Hey Jack, I saw a billboard yesterday along the highway for that new Zombie game that's coming out and I thought about you! LOL grin
Thank you Sandy!

That is the game SoCo! It rocks.

I REALLY do not want ot be here right now...oh man, for a day off and trying to survive in the Big Easy.

Let me stress trying.


Is this the right way?
I dunno...maybe left?

Stick together.

What was that?
I didn't...
Was that a Charger?
I didn't he...

CHARGER!!!
Awww F@#K! BOOMER!

Who's got six?

Incoming!!


...

yeah...I don't want to be here right now.
Hahaha, I'm not online yet, but I spose I'll be that one a$$hole like Leeeeroy, since on L4D, all I seem to hear is:

Heal yourself Bill...


Here, let me heal you....

SSsshhh I hear a witch!

Tell em we're cops!


God-#*$@ Bill!...


I can't wait to pick up my L4D2 pre-order next week to play in the big easy. Work got in the way this week. mad

I really can't wait to get my cell router to game online. grin

I spect I'll slow down my charge in and attack approach if I'm playing as a real team and not with bots.

If not, at least I'll have chicken. laugh
LOL, is this rule....

Quote:
Don’t be "that one a$$hole," in your group.
Textual analysis of zombie movies has proven that "that one a$$hole," a character ubiquitous in zombie and survival horror movies, only stands a 4.32% chance of surviving until the end of the movie.



....similar to the the babysitter rule about the one who runs "upstairs," instead of outside and away?

A little seriously though, in the recent "Dawn of the Dead movie," what zombie fan didn't see what was coming for Steve, the yacht guy? Man you hit the nail on the head!



Best Kerry.

Punkt
Posted By: smith18 Re: Now for something completely different: - 11/22/09 02:17 AM
The Leroy move was about the funniest thing I ever saw in a video game.
LOL, the only thing NOT funny about that movie was the realization that in a similar situation I'd probably be that guy! laugh

I'll try to pay better attention than that when I get online. grin
Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans Hypocrisy - 12/07/09 10:44 PM
Hypocrisy...

We are walking contradictions, just being human.

It is hard to post the words and good advice that come with the experience of this whole mess.

It is hard to think or believe that the words are still good even when we find ourselves not living up to them, even in our hearts and head.

And yet.

The WORDS are still good.

To be aspired to.

Do not think for one second, that your words do not inspire others...

or even yourself.

Our convictions become stronger when we stumble.
Posted By: figgeroni Re: Hypocrisy - 12/07/09 10:56 PM
the holidays making you reflective Pirate?

I think you are correct that words can inspire
however
actions are a better indicator of truth

lying to ourselves is where the danger lies (or lays...I already forgot that grammar lesson)

if we believe the lie
we are in trouble

the truth sometimes is harder to hear
harder to deal with
but it always helps you sleep better at night

(unless I ask you if my pants make me look fat...just humor me then
Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans Re: Hypocrisy - 12/07/09 11:13 PM
Fig,

The greatest lie is when we lie to ourselves, it is the most damaging.

I also agree that deeds are more important than words.

However, I am being specific to Divorce Busting.

Not in regard to an abusive spouse, "Oh he didn't mean to hit me," BS lie.

I mean the mantra's and advice.

The idea that we are not living up to what we feel we should be in our minds. So we shouldn't be posting here.

I did it. I stopped posting when I wasn't living up to what I thought was DBing. Hell Fig you know that. : )

However, seeing that it in others, made me realize that (not tooting my own horn by any means) that this place lost some valuable insight.

Posting here also reminds me, and others, how DBing should look in deed.

I am not suggesting lying Fig.

I am saying the MESSAGE is still GOOD, even if you do not believe you are living up to it.
Posted By: figgeroni Re: Hypocrisy - 12/08/09 01:17 AM
the message of DBing IS a good one
I think sometimes that message gets skewed

like people are DBing for the wrong reasons

they stop when they don't get what they want immediately

or they give great lip service without doing the work

you know

words are great
but you have to believe them in your heart of hearts

there is a faking until you make it

DBing is ultimately for ourselves
to grow
to learn to pick our battles
to love more completely

I was talking with a friend about how painful it is to read our beginnings
how almost embarassing
how fresh from the package we were
how we thought we had grown a lot
but looking back we were still younglings
how everyday we learn
we grow
we are tough adn strong and better than we ever were

that is what DBing is

it is not having all the right words
or
being a warrior
or a survivor

it is about living
living well
loving true

joy

none of us will ever be 100%
if we were
why would we continue to strive

there is no perfection
there is only
humanity
Posted By: Mach1 Re: Hypocrisy - 12/08/09 02:54 PM
Hey Pirate.....

I agree with what you are saying........but only to a certain point.

I agree with Figgy more ( although she was kinda hard to read, with being all grammatically correct and all :p )

DB'ing is about us being the best we can be , and I know you know this too.

There comes a time through all of this where posting CAN keep the LBS stuck. We look back one day and realize that , not only are we standing, we are standing still. Not moving in any specified direction except the one that keeps us in quicksand.

This doesn't mean that we are necessarily doing that, only that we FEEL that way. And what is in our heads is way different than reality in most cases.

Each of us have walked a very different path together, yet alone -as a good friend told me -( no nickel, credit given):o

Each of us "process" things uniquely, and in our own time.

Each of us eventually lays down the sword in our own way and perserveres on our own course through the trials and tribulations of this crazy life we lead.

Does it make us bad ?

No.....Just real.

NOT posting may actually mean that we are out trying to fullfill our lives with culture, taking chances , doing something new, and thriving-not just surviving.

Eventually, most of us ALL come back here...most with a new outlook on life.

Look at all of the "new" threads from "old" posters recently....(although we like the abuse...????)

There are two ways to let our wayward spouses go.....one is with anger and a FU on the way out....

The second is with Love and understanding...

The second one is why us "old timers" with some sense of self seem to find our way back here. The ones that don't come back ? Well, maybe that is for the best......

Bitterness and anger are not close friends of letting go with love.....

The difference, at least to me, is doing the work........

I, for one, am a work in process, neverending, and striving to be better everyday.

Myself and my children are worth that...
Posted By: cat04 Re: Hypocrisy - 12/08/09 03:08 PM
Mach,

Welcome back.
Posted By: Mach1 Re: Hypocrisy - 12/08/09 03:36 PM
Back ?

Never really gone.....

Just in a supervisor-induced retirement :p

Kinda like the Pirate and the Alt.....

Thank you though.....
Posted By: kjensen Re: Hypocrisy - 12/08/09 08:28 PM
Mach,
Do all 'oldtimers' get poetic when they come back? :-D

Well, speaking as a semi-'newbie', I appreciate the return of posters who have been through this MLC crap and thrived for providing wonderful input, advice and perspective..and poetry!
Posted By: Stronger Re: Hypocrisy - 12/08/09 09:08 PM
I have to agree with every single word Mach just said. Sometimes we just need a break from here.

But I've come to realize in recent days, we do need to COME BACK and offer our insight and let others learn from our experience because while each is so very different there are soooo many similarities.

Plus, I really missed you buttholes.
Posted By: fisherman Re: Hypocrisy - 12/08/09 09:15 PM
Originally Posted By: Stronger
Plus, I really missed you buttholes.


Yeah I miss Mach too. grin
Posted By: Mach1 Re: Hypocrisy - 12/08/09 10:00 PM
Originally Posted By: trapt


Yeah I miss Mach too. grin




That's how I know, Chili boy.....
Posted By: Drew Re: Hypocrisy - 12/08/09 10:28 PM
Jack,

You OK?
Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans Re: Hypocrisy - 12/08/09 11:16 PM
F-ing swamped at work today. : ) Seriously. 5 hours for a report people are going to look at for maybe...a minute.

I agree and disagree with the comments made above.
Posted By: *KS*Chick* Re: Hypocrisy - 12/09/09 03:42 AM
LOL buttholes and chili boys! Feel the love :P

Question for any and all......do you ever feel like there's a time that you don't have it anymore? I mean...I don't really post here often except to keep up with those I "grew up with" who are still here...

I try to offer advice, but I think part of DBing that IS good, is that others who are in the same boat at the same time, help each other.

I guess sometimes I "feel" like people might look to my status (divorced, yada yada) and consider me a failure so why listen to me. But I'll tell ya one thing.....I've never felt better about me, so thank you DB. I'd also like to thank my fans, and the academy and........

oops - wrong show....

grin
Posted By: kjensen Re: Hypocrisy - 12/09/09 05:05 AM
I don't consider anyone who got divorced a failure...maybe b/c that may be me next! LOL..I think most of us that truly "get" what DBing is about understand and truly appreciate the perspective and advice given by those who have gone ahead of us..Your experience is invaluable if we truly listen and learn.
Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans Re: Hypocrisy - 12/09/09 04:48 PM
ANYONE who considers someone who DBed AND got a divorce as a failure is just a noob, who doesn't know any better, the people who haven't put their time in, who haven't fixed themselves, who thought just getting the book or visiting the site would magically fix all their problems.

The people who feel like you failed KS, are the ones who are going to burn through other relationships and it will always be the others persons fault, in their mind.

The other points. Meh, its all personal perspective.

I will say this, Mach is one of my friends, I just haven't met him yet, and he is handling this better than I ever could. I believe he is a better man than I ever was, and I aspire to be like him.
Posted By: *KS*Chick* Re: Hypocrisy - 12/09/09 06:43 PM
you know what's "funny".........my 9 year old (Peanut) has figured out that her dad's an idiot and I didn't have to say anything...

He's on his 2nd relationship since his first marriage.....engaged to be married, with a 5 month old baby. And my girl asked me how many people I've dated. 1...although he was an idiot. 1...in 2.5 yrs. She's like wow mom, dad's dated 2 girls (and lived with them) and you've dated one.

Yeah....the 9 year old gets it.

Maybe it's just my perception regarding failure. I mean this is divorce BUSTING.....so if you can't.......there's a period of time you feel like a failure. Then you find yourself. And you realize that you're better off alone than in the crappy marriage you were in, setting a bad example for your daughter.... So I don't consider myself a failure but assumed others may. That's ok though, cuz it's not about them wink
Posted By: cat04 Re: Hypocrisy - 12/09/09 07:32 PM
KS Chick,

To answer your question, I am done, although not officially D'd yet, and I DO NOT feel like a failure. I give the same advice/info that I did prior to announcing my decision. Anyone who reads me can see that.

If they choose to not see the success that I have become, the growth, the work that went into my decision and look at me as a failure, that is up to them. I do not allow that to keep me from trying to support others though.

You are not a failure and I am sure you have much valuable information to share.
Posted By: sofaraway Re: Hypocrisy - 12/10/09 01:42 AM
Quote:
do you ever feel like there's a time that you don't have it anymore? I mean...I don't really post here often except to keep up with those I "grew up with" who are still here...


April,
It's not that you don't have it anymore, it's that you just don't have it in you at the time. I can tell you that I stay away sometimes just because sometimes you need a break from the sadness.
Reality check folks, threads on this sight will not make you feel peachy 99% of the time. This is a website about the hardest fuckinn thing that we go through in our lives. This is a website about the most pain we have ever felt in our lives. This is a website that talks about hurt, fear, and sorrow. You cannot continually be in the midst of that, it is too much to take.

Jack is reflective, hmmm.... Not sure what to think about that one buddy....
Quote:
I am saying the MESSAGE is still GOOD, even if you do not believe you are living up to it.


That is what the newcomers board is all about. I gave some of my best advice to others when I was struggling the most with my own situation. Knowing the right words does not always mean obeying them.....

Mach... define "oldtimer" please?????? Cause I assume your sorry assss is talking about age.......

Quote:
NOT posting may actually mean that we are out trying to fullfill our lives with culture, taking chances , doing something new, and thriving-not just surviving.


Do you think with all that you are dealing with, maybe it's time to actually have a real thread Mach? Seems like it might be time.... While you entered this sight from a different direction it is probably time to use it the way it is intended.


Ian
Posted By: *KS*Chick* Re: Hypocrisy - 12/10/09 02:27 AM
Ian you're so right. After my divorce, I posted for about a month or so....because of the stupid plan and other BS I was dealing with. After that, it was a yearly update. I came back a few months ago and reread some of those and it really made me sad. Mostly though, sad to see what I would accept. I thought so little of myself that crumbs from crumbs were acceptable to me. DB didn't do that, I did that, with "trying to fix".

I can tell you now, I am so much happier now. Peanut and I - so much happier now. Her father, perhaps, is a lost cause until he figures it out. He is not my problem anymore. Unless he does something wrong as a father to our daughter. Then it will be dealt with...promptly and directly.

It's funny though. This summer we had to have a come to Jesus meeting...and he kept trying to bait me into a fight. I wasn't going there. I was going to talk about the issues, and ONLY the issues that needed to be discussed. He wanted to talk about the past, and how he couldn't understand why I couldn't let the past go (I have) and why we can't talk like civilized adults (we were) and why I can't talk to him like a normal person (I was for the most part.) I did say that I wouldn't go into all of the reasons we can't "get along" like normal people but that we were there to discuss Peanut and those issues only. He kept baiting, wanting to know what it was that made me feel we couldn't get along. I can't "be friends" with someone I can't trust.

This is the person who for all intents and purposes was dating the happy cow during our marriage and lying about it. Who was dating the happy cow during our separation & divorce (and lying about it). The person who was dating the happy cow less than a year ago, but has a 5 month old baby, is engaged to be married, telling Peanut he regretted divorcing me.

He has issues beyond my control. I am good. I could stand to win a lottery but other than that, I'm great. smile

if not a little long winded wink
Posted By: *KS*Chick* Re: Hypocrisy - 12/10/09 02:28 AM
P.S. where is my retirement check? grin
Posted By: sofaraway Re: Hypocrisy - 12/10/09 03:02 AM
Quote:
if not a little long winded


You think????????? whistle whistle whistle whistle


Ian
Posted By: *KS*Chick* Re: Hypocrisy - 12/10/09 03:15 AM
shut it Memphis! LOL
Posted By: libbyasking Re: Hypocrisy - 12/10/09 10:54 AM
I am very new to the MLC journey and read many posts on the forum for advice and support and also to know other people are out there.

When we start out on this rollercoaster none of us know the outcome eventually.

I don't view divorce as a failure but am glad to get advice from all LBS whose H/W have left due to MLC. Everyone one of us stands on the brink during the journey.

So thank you everyone married or divorced for your undestanding and support.
Posted By: brandnewday Re: Hypocrisy - 12/10/09 01:20 PM
Mach,

So what constitutes an Old Timer?

Is it someone who has been posting here for several years?

Or someone who is close to my age?

And whats up with the all of the flowery poetic scrawl going on?

Spit it out....

What the heck are you really trying to say?
Posted By: Mach1 Re: Hypocrisy - 12/10/09 03:29 PM
BND,

Flowery ? Poetic? Scrawl ?

Once a year, I allow myself to do that......

As far as being considered Old-Timers.

There was a post on another thread the other day where we were referred to as "old-timers". Just making a reference..... :p

What am I trying to say?

Just that there seems to be a gap in good MLC advice lately, and from people (at least me) who have been-there, done-that get to a point where they feel stuck dealing with OPS, and need a break.

Most of the good points and real advice that people need to hear, is not around anymore.

Hypocritical ? From me ? Probably, cause yes....I didn't post for a long time.

My thoughts ?

There are gaps in our time-frames with advice. It seems to be either those of us that have been here a while (2 years or more ), or newer people posting.

True, that while being in the trenches, advice is different. There doesn't seem to be a lot of that going on here anymore, with all the personal contact now. I.E.----the Alt.

So what ARE the boards now ?

A ton of expectations that status is the only way a person is successful or not.....MAJOR BS !!!!!!

KS.....YOU.....are not a failure. In no way shape or form.

An inspiration ? In many ways girl.

Muffin ? You are too....



I got called out on posting a while ago, and I'm tryin to be nice about it now.

But there are people here who could really provide some great insight , that don't share as much as they could.

Is that because of anger ? Or they feel like a failure? That they feel their advice sucks ?

I don't have that answer.

I DO know that if this stings a bit, it is probably true though. It stung a little for me.

I am guilty of that as well, and the Pirate called me out on that.

Work restrictions on internet (and no service on the battlefield) have kept me from being here as much as I should be. Not an excuse, just a reason.



So ......Muffin....

What exactly would you like on my thread ?

I kinda thought posting to others, that needed it, WAS the purpose of being here.

And if "status" really doesn't matter ( and with me it DOESN'T ), then regardless of my sh!t, my advice should be based on just that, my advice, not my situation....

If I had a "thread".....it would be serious for about three posts....




BND.....Sorry about the "butt" dial the other day, and I hope you are feeling well.... : )
Posted By: brandnewday Re: Hypocrisy - 12/10/09 03:45 PM
Mach,

How about we start from the begining.

You have never posted your whole story here before, it might actually be quite cathartic for you.

Nobody knows where you came from, you sort of just appeared under Jack's wing. How about some background.

Many of us who really are oldtimers and have been here for many years, do post when they have time. Some have developed friendships with others on the board and continue to maintain them, seeking advice from those that they trust.

Sometimes, this needs to be a place to absorb and glean from others rather then posting hypocrital posts and other nonsense.
Posted By: Mach1 Re: Hypocrisy - 12/10/09 04:03 PM
I'm not disagreeing with you....at all.

I called myself a hypocrite about posting.

I'm NOT calling out any of the so called "oldtimers" either....Don't misunderstand that.

Background ? Sure....I will do that soon...on MY thread.
Posted By: still.struggling Re: Hypocrisy - 12/10/09 04:06 PM
Guess who is back?!? Now let me see if I can remember how to post on here. wink As hard as it is for me I will even try to be nice...somewhat.

Quote:
There was a post on another thread the other day where we were referred to as "old-timers".


If you are an "old-timer" after being here for a little over a year what does that make me and the others who have been here for years? Ancient?

Quote:
Most of the good points and real advice that people need to hear, is not around anymore.


Maybe because some of them felt pushed away. They would give advice that maybe some people thought was too harsh and made to think they didn't count.

Quote:
True, that while being in the trenches, advice is different. There doesn't seem to be a lot of that going on here anymore, with all the personal contact now. I.E.----the Alt.


Or people just move on with their lives. I will be the first to admit I met some great people on here and they helped me out a lot. Sometimes I wonder if the "personal contact" is the right way to go. Sometimes talking to someone that doesn't know you helps more. If you know a person you tend to lean more toward saying what they want to hear instead of what they need to hear.

Quote:
What exactly would you like on my thread ?

I kinda thought posting to others, that needed it, WAS the purpose of being here.


Sometimes you need more than just an advice giver. It helps to read about a persons situation. How can someone accept any advice you give if they don't know what you are going thru yourself?

I have purposely stayed away from here because I find some people on here very judgemental. On occasion I do have friends who tell me to read what certain people are saying so I do come and read. I just never respond on here. I will either email or text them as I don't want to be blasted.

I will admit I miss my "friends" on here that have decided to delete me from their lives but I am a big girl and have moved on. I am happier now than I have been in a long time. I do credit some of it to the boards and all the wonderful people I met on here but the most credit goes to myself. I was the one who had to look outside the box and decide what was right for me. You can listen to advice on here all day every day but when it comes right down to it YOU are the only person who can decide which way to take your life.

Life is what you make of it.

Jack, I have never seen anything hypocritical come out of any of your posts so I don't know why you used "hypocrisy" in your title. I have found out some new stuff recently and it has made me respect you and all your life choices much more.

Quote:
It is hard to think or believe that the words are still good even when we find ourselves not living up to them, even in our hearts and head.


You can't live up to your words 100% of the time. No one is perfect.

I hope everyone has a magical holiday.
Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans Re: Hypocrisy - 12/10/09 06:39 PM
Quote:

I have found out some new stuff recently and it has made me respect you and all your life choices much more.


: ) Consider the source, every story has at least 3 sides to it.

Quote:

There was a post on another thread the other day where we were referred to as "old-timers".


I actually don't like it when people call out to the 'old-timers' for advice. Seems like in their heads the 'old-timers' are the ones who got their marriages back and such. You know that limited view of 'success' when people first come here.
Those posts are almost like a fence to keep out people with amazing advice but only a short time in here.

Cool thing about fences is that they can be climbed over. : )

I always viewed it as if I had pertinent insight, and felt I could invest in someone I should post to them. But I also had to see some growth in the person after a 'reasonable' ammount of time, otherwise my time could be better spent elsewhere.

You know, basically if you feel like an 'old-timer' you are.

Some of the newer people (by registry date) are giving out advice that would make Snodderly proud.

Yes I just called out Snodderly. To me Snodderly is always going to be the queen of the DB boards and I still always get a warm feeling when she says I have good advice. Like a pat on the head. I normally don't care what most people think of me...or I play that indifference off really well wink except Snodderly. I still remember when she came down hard on me and Smurf for shortening her name. I do care what my friends think of me.

I am not entirely sure where I am going with this, there are so many good points brought up by so many people I respect.

I think Mach s right there has been a gap in coverage. BTW your thread would be as serious as you needed it to be for the day. Your thread you set the pace and tone.

T2, no one should feel pushed away. If a poster is posting advice contrary to DBing, then I think it is perfectly fine to call them out on it, and usually there is a reason why they are. And no, I am not talking about anyone in particular.

KS,

I think you're one of the greatest.

But I'm going to do something you might not like.

Quote:

This is the person who for all intents and purposes was dating the happy cow during our marriage and lying about it. Who was dating the happy cow during our separation & divorce (and lying about it). The person who was dating the happy cow less than a year ago, but has a 5 month old baby, is engaged to be married...


wink Seriously I DO like you.

Quote:

he couldn't understand why I couldn't let the past go (I have)


You...ahhh....sure about that?

Quote:

That is what the newcomers board is all about. I gave some of my best advice to others when I was struggling the most with my own situation. Knowing the right words does not always mean obeying them.....


I have such a hard time posting on Newcomers...That place is like triage after a bombing. And I agree to the advice part some of my best thoughts were when I was hurting...but so was some of my most naive and fluffy bunny advice.

Ian is my friend, Ian is also the thorn in my ass. He keeps me level and grounded, he keeps my ego in check, and I am grateful, everytime I figuratively sit down. Ian came up with the term 'board persona'...which is amazingly true.

Jack is Jack here, but I am not Jack in real-life. I try to be. But, Jack is bigger than I am, better, through Jack I use the DB words when I am not living up to them.

Even when I am not/was not correctly DBing...I can still tell others what DBing should be. Hypocritical? Yes. Justified in mind, because I know what I should/should have been doing, and just because I was fukcing up, doesn't mean those I felt I was helping shouldn't still get help.

Reflective?
Must be the glitter. (screw you you can't get points if I take them away first)
Posted By: *KS*Chick* Re: Hypocrisy - 12/10/09 06:58 PM
actually Jack - I am past it, but it irks me when he lies to our daughter, and pulls her into "adult" situations and conversations. That's all man wink
Posted By: still.struggling Re: Hypocrisy - 12/10/09 08:33 PM
Quote:
Quote:

I have found out some new stuff recently and it has made me respect you and all your life choices much more.



: ) Consider the source, every story has at least 3 sides to it.


The source is 100% trustworthy. grin

Quote:
T2, no one should feel pushed away. If a poster is posting advice contrary to DBing, then I think it is perfectly fine to call them out on it, and usually there is a reason why they are. And no, I am not talking about anyone in particular.


Being called out and being pushed away are 2 different things. I got called out many times as I believed sometimes you had to look outside the box. I was just the type of person who said what I felt whether it would hurt or not. Hell, even AmyC and I disagreed many times on here but we have never let that stand in our way. It has made our friendship stronger.
Posted By: Lostforwords Re: Hypocrisy - 12/10/09 09:09 PM
DB old-timer defined-Any poster who has made it through the newcomer triage stage. Whether they have saved their marriage or not is irrelevant....as in either case the scars and experiences are still there.

There is a ton of great experiences and opinions shared on here. I think the true definition of success here can't be measured by saved marriages...but more by regained individualism.

For myself...going on two years now...I would say that I am an old timer. I tend to read a lot and post little. Maybe for me it is impatience in that I see great advice from Jack, Mach, Puppy, Forrest, etc.....yet it takes so long for people to really HEAR that advice. I have moved on to the point that I only come here to check up on Jack and Ayk. Sometimes I post in more of a journaling format than looking for advice......put I have also defined my path at this point.

So how are you doing Jack? Hope Thanksgiving treated you well.
Posted By: figgeroni Re: Hypocrisy - 12/10/09 10:20 PM
I am sort of honored that I get to be an old timer blush

whatever

and

i like white space...

always have

gives me room to think


there were several instances, I think, where I was called ont he table

sometimes it was needed

sometimes it wasn't

sometimes I cared

sometimes I didn't

we all need help sometimes but it helps to know that everyone is a real person...with real problems...who has a real hard time getting it too sometimes
Posted By: sofaraway Re: Hypocrisy - 12/11/09 02:07 AM
Quote:
Jack is Jack here, but I am not Jack in real-life. I try to be. But, Jack is bigger than I am, better, through Jack I use the DB words when I am not living up to them.


Thorn in ass here.... Your dead wrong on this. The best you is the you in real life. To tell you the truth I found a lot of your posting to be overly gay and fairy tale has never done much for me. Speaking to the man that you are on the phone and through emails is the amazing guy that I consider my friend. I would drink a beer with Jack in real life, I would probably duct tape posting Jack to a locker and make him wear a tutu.....

Ian
Posted By: sofaraway Re: Hypocrisy - 12/11/09 02:23 AM
Quote:
So ......Muffin....

What exactly would you like on my thread ?

I kinda thought posting to others, that needed it, WAS the purpose of being here.

And if "status" really doesn't matter ( and with me it DOESN'T ), then regardless of my sh!t, my advice should be based on just that, my advice, not my situation....

If I had a "thread".....it would be serious for about three posts....


First things first Craig, Muffin is a very personal thing for me. An amazing woman on these boards gave me that nickname and only Lissie and Fig use that for me. In my opinion it is insulting when you throw it out there like it is a joke. To me it has amazing meaning and is not humorous, it is a sentiment from two amazing women in my life that I treasure.

Secondly, what I would like to see on your thread? Who gives a shitt what I would like to see. My point is you speak of people helping one another yet you do not share your situation as openly on here as others. You began this journey behind the scenes, which I understand and respect, however then you came on here and starting posting to people and never posted your story. You need to give these same people that you so vastly show regard for the opportunity to help you as well. I know what you are dealing with at home, yet you do not have the faith in the people of this board to help you when you need it.

Around here you earn your wings by being open and allowing the people here to see the wretched sadness that you feel and the openly hurting fervor when you post about something that only one left by their spouse would understand. Being and "oldtimer" on here used to mean that you are a survivor and that people on here know you and your inner most dealings with your most intimate part of your life.

Quote:
Most of the good points and real advice that people need to hear, is not around anymore.


Bulshitt, it sure as hell is. If people would venture out from there protected arenas and go read some real threads they may see that there is plenty of incredible advice being served up around here. Just because you don't recognize the names anymore doesnt mean there arent new "Jacks, Brandnewdays, Lissies, Sofaraways, and Swashys" they are here, they just have new names.

Go read some sandi2, or some court0818, or some bluerain. The list goes on and on but if we stay put in our safe little world with our friends who will play with us we never see these amazing newcomers who are doling out incredible advice.

Let me just say one more thing, most of the people who do not post as much as they used to and have moved on through this crazy process, do so because they have gotten a life. Found a better place to focus their time, become people with other interests besides the boards. Sometimes silence is a sign of improvement and not weakness.


Ian
Posted By: figgeroni Re: Hypocrisy - 12/11/09 02:44 AM
Muffin...
I would smoooooooooooooooooooch you if you were here
and
make you
the biggest
baddest
whipped creamiest banana cream pie
your little ole' heart desired

siiiiiiiiiiigh
Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans Re: Hypocrisy - 12/11/09 06:20 PM
Quote:

Go read some sandi2, or some court0818, or some bluerain. The list goes on and on but if we stay put in our safe little world with our friends who will play with us we never see these amazing newcomers who are doling out incredible advice


Absolutely.

Round these parts, for the guys Lostforwords and D Money.
There are alot of other people out there giving great advice and Ian is correct...in other forums. Safe little world...heh, nice.

Quote:

...yet you do not have the faith in the people of this board to help you when you need it...


You sank my battleship!

Knowing Craig, I'm not sure that was entirely fair or correct.

By the way 'thorn in the ass' with respect AND gratitude.

Quote:

...I consider my friend. I would drink a beer with Jack in real life, I would probably duct tape posting Jack to a locker and make him wear a tutu.....


Agreed! In a heartbeat. Our 'board personas' haven't gotten along for awhile, but I know without a shadow of a doubt if I called you, you'd make the time for me. : )

Quote:

...found it overly gay...


Well look...consider the source.

The nickname. That nickname will always mean something to you and it should. Especially from those two ladies. From anyone else? WTF should you care if someone else uses it. Me? I'd be smiling because the Deuce has no clue thinking he insulting me when instead it bring up good memories.

Toughen up emotional cupcake.

Hrnmm...

I guess that would be the source.

wink
Posted By: smith18 Re: Hypocrisy - 12/11/09 06:32 PM
Well said Ian.

Originally Posted By: sofaraway
Go read some sandi2, or some court0818, or some bluerain. The list goes on and on but if we stay put in our safe little world with our friends who will play with us we never see these amazing newcomers who are doling out incredible advice.

Yep, there is a ton of great advice going on in newcomers.

The endless K4D thread is loaded with great advice about detaching.
Posted By: Mach1 Re: Hypocrisy - 12/11/09 09:06 PM
Ian,

First things first.....

I apologize if I offended you....not my intention.

Secondly, I think that a lot of what I typed is open to interpretation by the reader. Those are MY thoughts, they don't have to be yours or anyone elses. I was merely responding to another post.

There are some really great people ( personas) here, and my thoughts have been-always-that.....

These boards, including YOU, have been part of me finding me again, and for that ?

I thank each and everyone of you.

Also, Sorry I missed your call this morning....I was in court.

30 Days from now, after she moves out, I will be legally seperated for the next year, until the D can be finalized.

I am fine with that, a little sad, but fine.

I'll be around most of the weekend.
Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans Re: Hypocrisy - 12/11/09 09:28 PM
Quote:

after she moves out


That sure beats the shitt out of the alternative.
Posted By: Mach1 Re: Hypocrisy - 12/11/09 09:39 PM
Originally Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans

That sure beats the shitt out of the alternative.


Hell yeah !!!

She has to move...

Shared custody that allows ME to see my kiddies EVERY evening....EVERY evening....

Plus two full weekends out of three....

No Alimony....( she asked )

And pays her own legal bills ( she asked for me to pay hers )

Her Lawyer was a Jack-A$$....He left her alone most of the day BS'ing with his other Lawyer buddies. She looked sad, staring at the floor or into the hole in the ceiling.

Did I mention that my lawyer ROCKS !

We walked into mediation and her lawyer asked how we wanted to respond to the custody issues....My Lawyer said that if shared was NOT agreeable, then we would just take FULL custody, and that we had enough info to do that.....

HE jumped on the deal before he asked her, then talked her into it.......




Posted By: Cadet Re: Hypocrisy - 12/11/09 09:58 PM
Sounds like you made out pretty well, The football team will be glad to hear it.
Posted By: sofaraway Re: Hypocrisy - 12/12/09 06:01 PM
Quote:
Knowing Craig, I'm not sure that was entirely fair or correct.


I don't remember asking your opinion on that line.... whistle

Quote:
Our 'board personas' haven't gotten along for awhile, but I know without a shadow of a doubt if I called you, you'd make the time for me. : )


First of all I think your wrong. Our board personas have had some great dialect that a lot of people may have needed to see. What movie was that.... "Just when I think we have been communicating you think we are fighting" I would absolutely be there if you called and believe you would be as well.

Quote:
Toughen up emotional cupcake.


I knew you would come at me with that be a man bullshitt that you preach..... what a shocker..... It's not about emotion...it's about respect.... (and not respect for me you dufus..)


Last but not least Three balls, when are you thinking you will man up and actually tell us what is going on with you? Maybe I am the only one seeing it, but something is bugging you and you seem to want desperately to say it but for some reason are holding back. So I will ask as simply as I can here.

What's going on Jack?
Everything okay at home?
Are you alright?
Do I need to call you?

And please dont patronize me with your standard bullshitt answer that everything is fine and you dont know why anyone thinks you arent ok.... just answer dude..... I for one, am worried a bit......


Ian
Posted By: CMNM Re: Hypocrisy - 12/12/09 06:31 PM
Quote:
Maybe I am the only one seeing it, but something is bugging you and you seem to want desperately to say it but for some reason are holding back.


Nope, you are not the only one seeing it. No matter the answer here, and I don't anticipate anything but flowery stuff that circles around yet says nothing, I will believe there is something festering.

Not sure what happened between us, Jack, but I do care and hope the best for you. You helped a lot of people and I am sure they would love the opportunity to give back.
Posted By: figgeroni Re: Hypocrisy - 12/12/09 09:25 PM
Ian...(3 balls just made me snort tea out of my nose...warn a girl already)

I kind of like the new attitude muffin...

makes me giggle

and pirate...
we have all noticed it
but
sometimes we need to keep the illusion alive, yes?
Posted By: Drew Re: Hypocrisy - 12/12/09 09:27 PM
I also consider myself pretty good at reading between Jack's lines and so I also ask (again) :

Jack, you OK?
Posted By: smith18 Re: Hypocrisy - 12/13/09 07:42 AM
You are a bit introspective with the hypocrisy talk mate. I know you can work through whatever is troubling you. Maybe you need to kill some more zombies. Or maybe you are spending too much time on those damn online games.

Have you done any more bacon experiments? I am making hamburger jerky tomorrow.
Posted By: smith18 Re: Hypocrisy - 12/14/09 05:01 PM
My hamburger jerky is fukcing awesome!

2 pounds of hamburger
4 tablespoons worcestershire sauce
4 tablespoons soy sauce
2 teaspoons garlic powder
1 tablespoon of my homegrown ground cayenne pepper with a little bit of ground fiery hot thai chiles.

Mix all together.
Make strips of 6" * 1" of 1/8" thick.
Lay them on backing tray(s).
Dry in oven at a temperature of 150 degrees F for about 12 hours. Every 2-3 hours, soak up excess grease by dabbing with a paper towl
Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans Re: Hypocrisy - 12/14/09 06:46 PM
Let me get this straight.

If I say, nothing is actually wrong, then I am lying.
So, something has to be wrong…that’s called a leading question.

Actually, I would like some examples of my flowery gay ass bullshitt. Seriously examples. Recent ones that are advice.

The title: Hypocrisy was directed toward at one person specific, Mach, and not because I felt he was being hypocritical, but because he worried about it, and I recalled feeling similar.

Pam. : ) Nothing happened between us, nothing went wrong no lines were crossed. I cannot access facebook at work and I have no computer at home. I can access it through xbox, but that’s about as easy as trying to bake a 3 tiered birthday cake in an EasyBake oven. It can be done it is just a pain in the ass.

Anytime I try to access or accidentally try and access a socialuser group website, the gates come crashing down on my computer and a few minutes later the IT director sends me an email wanting to know what happened. Why can I post here? I dunno but I’ll take the gift horse and not look too closely. You also have my email.

I am doing well. It’s Christmas time for me and mine, the economy isn’t the best, but my boys don’t seem to realize that with their lists. But we’ll do our best.

My oldest is doing horrible in school, cannot seem to remember to turn in his homework and gets all stupid during tests. “What’s this pencil for? I can make a rocket ship out of it!” At home he is an older brother…which as an only child I cannot relate to their dynamic…except be grateful I was and only child.

My youngest understands the concept of NO, but seems determined to be in politics with his end runs on what he wants despite the answer. Still have a great job, but the overall industry is taking hits and limiting aspects which in the long run will affect us up in Alaska…maybe next year.

My wife is doing well, on anti-anxiety meds until her job evens out and she doesn’t feel stress about that, she works until about 6-7 most night. So I get the homework and dinner of the kids most nights. So with the seemingly standard not enough sex complaint of husbands…

There is not enough time during the day, there never is.
I pretty much have a life.

When my wife pushes my buttons I let her know and vice-versa. We don’t allow each other to fall back into old patterns.
I have a marriage and two boys, my complaints?

So when I say I am fine…is there anything up there that stands out as…earth shaking?

No affairs, no mistrust, no regrets, no doubts.

I am sorry you may think I am lying and covering something up with my flowery misdirecting bullshitt.

Am I upset? Only with the way you made this so your opinion was the only logical conclusion. Heavy handed.
Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans Re: Hypocrisy - 12/14/09 06:48 PM
Kerry I look forward to trying that out this wekend. Thanks.
Posted By: Drew Re: Hypocrisy - 12/14/09 07:07 PM
Jack,

You're just as fine as the rest of us!!! smile

And what's the deal with not turning in homework? I've got two that can stay up half the night doing it and then forget to turn it in.

Seriously, I'm glad I was wrong. Email me if you get the chance.
Posted By: smith18 Re: Hypocrisy - 12/14/09 07:46 PM
I used hamburger with 20% fat. Be careful with the chili pepper! I am munching on several strips of jerky now, but I know that in 8-10 hours, I will be regretting it.

I gave my kids the Toys R Us catalog to look through and circle what they want. Santa is going to need some more reindeer to deliver what these kids want.
Posted By: SoCo Re: Hypocrisy - 12/14/09 07:47 PM
Not turning in homework is a universal problem and does not make your kid a freak. LOL. I know from professional experience! As a parent I hate homework because my kids are busy outside of school with sports and other activites. I as a teacher don't give very much hw because I feel the parent's pain!

As far as big brothers, kids fighting, and being glad you were an only child... makes me laugh. One would think with my kiddos being almost 5 years apart and one a boy and one a girl that the fighting wouldn't be bad,right? HAHA I feel like every weekend I need a referee's jersey and a whistle. The only effective way I've found thus far to deal with the fighting is to play on my S9's sense of humor. I'll tell him stuff like, just go ahead and fight to the death and the last one left is my favorite kid, or that I'm gonna drop one of them off at the fire station down the road. He usually jokes back and the fighting stops. Ugggg.... sibling fighting has to be the bane of a parent's daily existence!
Posted By: still.struggling Re: Hypocrisy - 12/14/09 08:07 PM
My daughter doesn't turn in her homework either. I get the progress report and ask about it and she pulls it out of her notebook and shows it to me. WTH? I asked how hard it was to turn it in...I just don't understand it.

I have to admit my sister and I fought all the time. We are 16 months apart and she hated me growing up. I used to sleep with a tennis raquet because she once told me that she would beat me up while I was sleeping. She was bigger and meaner than me. I would run screaming and hide behind my mom. One day when she was 18 and I was 17 (yes, we were old enough to know better) she hit me and I got mad. I finally hit back. After 15 minutes of my mom screaming, us breaking her marbletop table and me punching my sister in the stomach and ripping her earring out of her ear she has never hit me again. We actually got along after that.

My girls are almost 3 years apart and for the most part get along great. About 5 years ago when they were 11 and 14 they kept arguing and hitting each other so I went out and bought boxing gloves, moved the furniture and told them to go at it. They looked at me like I had lost my mind. Since then I haven't had any major problems with them getting along. Now they are almost 16 and 19 and are best friends.

Sometimes being a parent is so exhausting.
Posted By: CMNM Re: Hypocrisy - 12/14/09 08:38 PM
O.K., I do owe you an apology. You had a point there. I shouldn't have said what I did about the circling words. It did sound as if no matter what you said I wouldn't believe you.
And though I know it really doesn't matter if I do or don't...well, it was "heavy handed" on my part.

Re-reading the post, and now knowing it had to do with Mach, well, it makes sense. I guess that is the trouble with putting something out there to make a point without really making the point.

For the record, though...I did email you. Twice. And I sent you a message thru Craig, telling you thank you for your part in getting me to the point where my XH looked at me and said, "I want to work on us." I kinda thought that was a biggie, and when you never responded......

For the record, I give my best advice when things are not going well for me. It doesn't make me a hypocrite. It is easier to look into someone else's situation and see clearly what you can't/won't/don't want to see in your own.

Instead of being p'ed off, look on the bright side.

People care.
Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans Re: Hypocrisy - 12/14/09 08:58 PM
Oh, I got that people care, just in a ham fisted sort of way. : )

I am not delusional, I am not lying to myself, nor am I posting smoke up your ass I am fine so that folks here keep up their good spirits. It struck me, that there was only one option on the table, and that view was the only correct view.

BTW, you should check your email. If nothing is in it, then there most certainly is a problem and might be the reason past me not doing well in replying to people. Which I'll admit, I sukc at.
Posted By: CMNM Re: Hypocrisy - 12/14/09 09:51 PM
Quote:
It struck me, that there was only one option on the table, and that view was the only correct view.


Would you believe, I get that one a lot... blush

OK, OK,
I am a million billion times sorry.

And I will again remind myself, what I want cannot always be what is... no matter how much I try to force it.

Super fly cool?
Posted By: job Re: Hypocrisy - 12/14/09 09:59 PM
So, Jack,
What do the little ones want for Christmas this year? Do you and your family have any special plans?

There are times when the internet will take what you send and spin it around and around the Mother Ship.

I had no problem receiving my message.
Posted By: sofaraway Re: Hypocrisy - 12/14/09 11:14 PM
Quote:
Am I upset? Only with the way you made this so your opinion was the only logical conclusion. Heavy handed.


Wow, and you told me to quit being5 so sensitive...hmmmmm


I was only asking out of concern because something was not sitting right for me with reading your stuff lately. I didn't say it had to be about your marriage.

Not having the finances to get your kids all their wishes sucks dude. I understand that better then you know right now.

Your oldest is not doing well in school, and you seem to be the primary parent right now as far as school work goes, that can be challenging.

Young ones not understanding the word no, yep yep yep... they all go through that.

Being a parent is tough Jack, it can be overwhelming at times especially when your stressed by the economy, limited time with your spouse, and the fact that raising kids is tough.

I will call you to discuss the rest because it will be better that way. I do want to point out that I am not the only one who saw something......


Ian
Yes Ian, that would actually be VERY cool.

You're correct you aren't the only one. You're also correct that you didn't say it was about my marriage, did I jump wrong, seemingly. I am also not the only one who drew that conclusion.

Snodderly is absolutley correct it is far to easy to misread text.

I know that people care. For that I am honored.

My posting changed...maybe because I normally don't interact with peers. And let me be clear, my peers to me around here consist of those who were my support group when I first landed here. Those people who I do not believe consider me to be a wise one...as Ian can attest too wink So, yeah my posting is alot different.



What are my kiddos getting?
They both wanted an Xbox 360.
This Christmas my boys are going to learn that quality doesn't usually mean quanity.
Jack,

Quality over quantity is a wonderful lesson for children to learn.

As my son has grown from a child to a teenager, his list has not really gotten any shorter but the requests, they have gotten bigger and much more expensive.

The first year, I felt really badly that he got less in the quantity department, but I learned that that was my issue not his as he opened his gifts and got the bigger things that he had asked for.

Now, this year, there are going to be less than ten gifts under the tree, but two of them are major. I still have a bit of “guilt” or whatever you want to call it about that, but I know on Christmas morning, he won’t.

Besides, it really isn’t about the gifts anyway, and maybe that is a message we all need to start to remember a bit more. The world has changed since we were kids my friend.

And the homework thing, mine is homeschooled and it is still an issue, so that too may be more of the age and a boy thing that we just have to shake our heads at and deal with.

Merry Christmas
Jack,
Sometimes we have to put the brakes on the spending and gift giving. It's okay. Children do not really know the value of a dollar and just how far or little it will stretch. He'll be disappointed, but you know what? I'm sure you'll find something else for him to focus on.

Take care and know that everything will fall into place. I have faith in you!
Quote:
quality doesn't usually mean quanity.


My oldest told me the same exact thing the other day.
"Quality" is the premise in Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance
Great book!
hey pirate...
if your peers suggest that something seems off kilter...maybe something is off kilter...
just a thought
doesn't mean it has to be a deluge of angst
just something is off

people calling you on it
means they are paying attention
nobody is your jiminy cricket

we all just are hanging in the same neighborhood

every year my kids get footied pajamas...
i figured that at 11 and 12 they would be too old...

not so much

they were plenty upset when their pj boxes weren't under the tree

needless to say...they are now

sometimes it is the small and predictable that make holidays great...pickles in the tree and footied pjs underneath
I appreciate it Fig. Thank you.

I read far more into it than I should have and I will also admit that I read more into some people more than others, for right or wrong, you are one of them Ian is another. I apologize for that.

OK not to change the subject, but SG asked for our threads over 100 posts to be put down...so I did create a new thread to help the server and boards.
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