Mt Sitch - 08/22/19 01:23 AM
Hey all,
Ive been lurking and picking up a ton of great info for a couple of weeks now. great site wishI had found earlier...dont we all.
Ill try to be brief with my current sitch,
3 years ago injured myself at work high paying job..off work on longterm disability until Oct 2018. During that period I got better but was drinking way too much basically self medicating. It took away the pain, and the anxiety of having to look for more work or settle for something that paid a lot less Big ol pity party for myself. I had checked out of life in general
May of this year my brother took me out and said the family was worried about me, and that my wife had approached him saying that she felt we were growing apart. He and his wife also noticed when she went out she was dressed to the nines, no wedding ring new fake eyelashes etc, just for grabbing groceries.
She was working out excessively, Lacrosse, swimming, biking you name it. Kids and I hardly saw her, but I was in a fog.
I went home that night said I realized ive been messed up and want things between us to get better
May 4th decided to look at her phone, found out she was having a friendly chat that was leaning towards an EA with a guy from the gym. I talked with her calmly the next morning and said I knew she was unhappy and asked if she was talking with any other guys, she denied obviously.
Next day at the kids soccer game I noticed she had put a password on her phone, I took her aside and called her out on it very calmly even tho I was boiling. She denied anything said they were just friends dadadada. I left had a huge chat with my bro explaining everything.
She ended up calling me later wanting to meet up we had a chat, she sent this guy a FB message and said the way he was talking was inappropriate and blocked him and changed gyms ( still blocked as of beginning of July)
We agreed to work on things, endorphins were pumping. Figured it was easy street from there. Started MC, things were good for 3 weeks....then noticed her pulling back and distant. Started applying pressure, all the crap you're not supposed to do.
Asked if she might be depressed or having Peri-menopause, she said no ( now she is on meds for depression)
Told her to take some time at her Aunts, she left for 3 days and then came back deciding to stay in our travel trailer...Im thinking great.
We start doing things again together, riding, hanging with the kids, eating together and getting physical.
I think I really buggered the next part up...when I saw her on her phone this intense feeling of jealousy would kick in. It was consuming me. Never was a jealous guy before. Next thing you know I am all about figuring where she is at all times, she didnt know of course but it was all I could think about.
I told her I thought it would be a good idea to take the space she wanted at her dads place, she was planning on doing it anyhow. So she left July 26th, and I gotta say its been tough she calls the kids and I thought we would have a chat...nothin much since.
Ive been trying 180s since and focusing on detaching GAL etc. Ive been sober for almost 4 months now and have dropped 70lbs, working out etc. And most importantly focusing on the kids and enjoying
Thats the nuts and bolts, Im sure there is more, didn't want to write a novel just yet.
But there are a couple things bugging me and Im not sure how to handle, so im looking for some advice.
She is going to her cousins engagement party this upcoming weekend, she didnt ask me to go..I get it, dont like it tho
Now she wants to put together my 40th Bday party in September. Im super confused about that.
And how bad did I screw up by asking her to take time at her dads, cant say I feel good about that, but I sure do feel better not seeing her all the time with her phone in her hand.
Thanks for hearing me out
Ive been lurking and picking up a ton of great info for a couple of weeks now. great site wishI had found earlier...dont we all.
Ill try to be brief with my current sitch,
3 years ago injured myself at work high paying job..off work on longterm disability until Oct 2018. During that period I got better but was drinking way too much basically self medicating. It took away the pain, and the anxiety of having to look for more work or settle for something that paid a lot less Big ol pity party for myself. I had checked out of life in general
May of this year my brother took me out and said the family was worried about me, and that my wife had approached him saying that she felt we were growing apart. He and his wife also noticed when she went out she was dressed to the nines, no wedding ring new fake eyelashes etc, just for grabbing groceries.
She was working out excessively, Lacrosse, swimming, biking you name it. Kids and I hardly saw her, but I was in a fog.
I went home that night said I realized ive been messed up and want things between us to get better
May 4th decided to look at her phone, found out she was having a friendly chat that was leaning towards an EA with a guy from the gym. I talked with her calmly the next morning and said I knew she was unhappy and asked if she was talking with any other guys, she denied obviously.
Next day at the kids soccer game I noticed she had put a password on her phone, I took her aside and called her out on it very calmly even tho I was boiling. She denied anything said they were just friends dadadada. I left had a huge chat with my bro explaining everything.
She ended up calling me later wanting to meet up we had a chat, she sent this guy a FB message and said the way he was talking was inappropriate and blocked him and changed gyms ( still blocked as of beginning of July)
We agreed to work on things, endorphins were pumping. Figured it was easy street from there. Started MC, things were good for 3 weeks....then noticed her pulling back and distant. Started applying pressure, all the crap you're not supposed to do.
Asked if she might be depressed or having Peri-menopause, she said no ( now she is on meds for depression)
Told her to take some time at her Aunts, she left for 3 days and then came back deciding to stay in our travel trailer...Im thinking great.
We start doing things again together, riding, hanging with the kids, eating together and getting physical.
I think I really buggered the next part up...when I saw her on her phone this intense feeling of jealousy would kick in. It was consuming me. Never was a jealous guy before. Next thing you know I am all about figuring where she is at all times, she didnt know of course but it was all I could think about.
I told her I thought it would be a good idea to take the space she wanted at her dads place, she was planning on doing it anyhow. So she left July 26th, and I gotta say its been tough she calls the kids and I thought we would have a chat...nothin much since.
Ive been trying 180s since and focusing on detaching GAL etc. Ive been sober for almost 4 months now and have dropped 70lbs, working out etc. And most importantly focusing on the kids and enjoying
Thats the nuts and bolts, Im sure there is more, didn't want to write a novel just yet.
But there are a couple things bugging me and Im not sure how to handle, so im looking for some advice.
She is going to her cousins engagement party this upcoming weekend, she didnt ask me to go..I get it, dont like it tho
Now she wants to put together my 40th Bday party in September. Im super confused about that.
And how bad did I screw up by asking her to take time at her dads, cant say I feel good about that, but I sure do feel better not seeing her all the time with her phone in her hand.
Thanks for hearing me out