My Sitch (WAW) - 06/11/19 12:27 AM
Hi All,
I'm looking for some advice about how to handle my current sitch.
My sitch is M for 10 years, Together for 14, Two children aged 7 and 5. Currently physically separated for the last 3 months. I believe I'm dealing with a WAW. I can't confirm or deny that there is an EA/PA with an OM, though If I were to take a guess based on information I have I would have to assume there currently is no OM.
There was no begging/pleading/crying etc from me when she announced the end of the relationship. I have not been iniating any R talk with her, only about the kids. I have tried twice over the 3 months just asking about her day and she pretty much shut that down and will only talk to me about the kids. She has made no attempts in the 3 months to talk about the R. Even the discussions started by her about the kids is pretty minimal.
At the moment i'm focusing on dropping the rope/detaching/180s/GAL/Working on myself.
My current problem is that my W is still living in the family home with the two children, she is also receiving the same financial support from me as when we were together. I get to see the kids once or twice in the evenings if the W decides to go out during the week then I have them every second weekend. The W has agreed to 50/50 custody and that is my main focus at the moment, securing the 50/50 custody.
I am living with a friend at the moment but want to move either back into the family home or find my own place. The W said she wants to get her own place and did even suggest I move back into the family home. Due to the difference between my W income and mine I can afford to pay/live in the family home, whereas she cannot, she would need to downscale to a smaller rental. Since her initial suggestion of finding her own place she has also floated the idea of selling the family home.
In the spirit of dropping the rope I emailed her a plan to allow me to move back into the family home which in turn allowed her to go find her own place. She has not responded to the email for 2 weeks now. I would have thought she would have jumped at the chance given it was her idea to begin with. She is not making any active signs that she is looking or preparing to move. She has simply told me she will tell me when she's ready to talk. All of our family photos are still up, She's not wearing her ring.
What I would like to know is in the spirit of DB'ing, How agressively should I pursue the 50/50 custody and me moving back into the family house? Given she is not responding to my offer at the moment, If I continue to push this, is this considered pressuring her and is that a bad move?
Thank you in advance
lomac
I'm looking for some advice about how to handle my current sitch.
My sitch is M for 10 years, Together for 14, Two children aged 7 and 5. Currently physically separated for the last 3 months. I believe I'm dealing with a WAW. I can't confirm or deny that there is an EA/PA with an OM, though If I were to take a guess based on information I have I would have to assume there currently is no OM.
There was no begging/pleading/crying etc from me when she announced the end of the relationship. I have not been iniating any R talk with her, only about the kids. I have tried twice over the 3 months just asking about her day and she pretty much shut that down and will only talk to me about the kids. She has made no attempts in the 3 months to talk about the R. Even the discussions started by her about the kids is pretty minimal.
At the moment i'm focusing on dropping the rope/detaching/180s/GAL/Working on myself.
My current problem is that my W is still living in the family home with the two children, she is also receiving the same financial support from me as when we were together. I get to see the kids once or twice in the evenings if the W decides to go out during the week then I have them every second weekend. The W has agreed to 50/50 custody and that is my main focus at the moment, securing the 50/50 custody.
I am living with a friend at the moment but want to move either back into the family home or find my own place. The W said she wants to get her own place and did even suggest I move back into the family home. Due to the difference between my W income and mine I can afford to pay/live in the family home, whereas she cannot, she would need to downscale to a smaller rental. Since her initial suggestion of finding her own place she has also floated the idea of selling the family home.
In the spirit of dropping the rope I emailed her a plan to allow me to move back into the family home which in turn allowed her to go find her own place. She has not responded to the email for 2 weeks now. I would have thought she would have jumped at the chance given it was her idea to begin with. She is not making any active signs that she is looking or preparing to move. She has simply told me she will tell me when she's ready to talk. All of our family photos are still up, She's not wearing her ring.
What I would like to know is in the spirit of DB'ing, How agressively should I pursue the 50/50 custody and me moving back into the family house? Given she is not responding to my offer at the moment, If I continue to push this, is this considered pressuring her and is that a bad move?
Thank you in advance
lomac