"my parents got divorced and I turned out fine" (yeah...sure you did...) or "lots of kids grow up through divorce"
You know B- I hear that often too and I still don't understand it. How can a child benefit from D? I understand that the child may have to overcome adversity but I'm tired of people saying -they will be ok. Ask a child if they are ok with this ping pong match with mom and dad. One day at moms next day at dads.
Some short term effects of D
If your child is too young to understand the situation fully he or she might feel guilty or responsible for the divorce.
Your child may become increasingly aggressive, violent and/or uncooperative, lashing out at both you and your partner, his or her friends and teachers
Or, he or she may become emotionally needy out of fear of being abandoned.
Your child may begin exhibiting “hermit-like” behavior and/or become depressed.
Feelings of anger and resentment may surface and be directed towards both you and your former spouse/partner for deciding to split-up.
He or she may lose the ability to concentrate which could then affect school work and academic performance.
Intense feelings of grief and loss may arise, or
You may notice the occurrence, re-emergence or increase of bedwetting if your child is younger.
Long Term effects of D
be less educated.
experience poverty and/or socio-economic disadvantage.
exhibit anti-social behavior as well as other behavioral problems.
suffer from drug and/or alcohol addictions.
get married or cohabit at an earlier age.
become teenage parents or conceive a child outside of marriage,or experience separation and/or divorce themselves.
Every child will react differently to the situation and you may find that your child continues acting normally despite the divorce. However, to avoid any of these problems from occurring, or at least to try and lessen the impact of the divorce on your child, you must ensure that he or she does not get caught in the middle of the divorce and try to maintain a close relationship with your child as well as ensure constant communication.
Now how do they benefit from this?
So far, my S is far too little to show a lot of effects thus far. I have noticed though, especially when W and I were still living together, he started having a lot of night terrors which was abnormal for him. I'm positive he knew something was wrong.
The list of effects is worrying to say the least...
I'm going to do as much as I possibly can to negate them to the best of my ability.
Children benefit in no way due to D. WW are simply delusional to think otherwise. Or anyone that thinks that.
Thanks for the input LoneWlf!