Separated 4m, no communication in the last month. - 04/30/16 11:30 AM
My wife have been separated for almost 4 months.
We had a disagreement over New Years while I was sick with stomach issues- she was visiting family in MT.
We had two therapists her mom set us up with who were holistic healers (yes, I know)!
We went down to Mexico last October and used DMT ceremonially to treat my depression and anxiety due to the loss of my mother dieing n a car crash 4 days after our wedding.
After the accident, we were living in LA at the time and we decided to move back home to Dallas to be closer to family; my W had a job opportunity with my aunt and I own an ecommerce site so I can work really from wherever.
Right after our marriage, I became extremely depressed and my W started to dive into to work in order to deal with her angst of me being in constant depression-- not wanting to socialize and being emotional distant.
She came back from NOLA, where she spent most of her time working, said 16 months into her marriage that she met a group of people that inspired her and she no longer thinks she wants to be married...
I clearly assumed she was having an affair which see vehemently denied.
We ended up working things out after her parents talked to her and reasoned with her that her commitment was more important than NOLA at this point.
I agreed to go to bereavement counseling but she continued to travel back to NOLA for work which I greatly resented.
I stared to use medicinal marijuana to treat my anxiety attacks and she began to resent this.
She then decided to go to fashion school in NY after we bought a loft to renovate, which I thought would be a good creative outlet for both of us.
The financial pressure of fashion school and renovating our condo, while I supported both through my ecommerce business became unbearable and ultimately she decided to come back. While my W was in NY she became severally home sick and intensely attached to me which was promising.
My W came back to Dallas and wanted to move back to LA to pursue a career n styling which I wasn't opposed to bc my partner and office is based there. We moved back and her job stalled, she started to travel consistently and working for a sunglass company based in NOLA.
This was just another dagger and I continued to smoke even more: meanwhile I was all in at work and took care of all our finances, home, dog etc...
This contention drove a wedge n between us which led to the holistic healers n Mexico. I was so skeptical and deeply affriad of going down there but she wanted to and at this point I was willing to do anything to get our marriage on track, finally.
During the DMT treatment, we agreed I would stop using medicinal marijuana bc it made me emotionally detached, I would pursue a new career bc ultimately I was losing passion for what I was doing and book a honeymoon bc we never got to it after the accident.
She agreed she would get a job n LA to help with finances and contribute more to our household, and to stop traveling as much to escape.
Things got better after Sept retreat n Mexico and we seemed to be communicating better, I cut down on smoking a lot, and she got a job and was contributing more to our household.
Christmas comes along, I get sick and go to the ER and she heads to MT for New Years.
Our counsellors ask us to write a letter each other seeing if we met our agreements and she basically vents that I have done nothing, which I accept that I didn't quit smoking entirely, change careers, or book our honeymoon, but there was plenty on her side I felt she didn't agree to including quitting whatever EA she was having n NOLA. After she returned from MT we sat down had meeting with her conselors and the next day she packed up all her stuff and left...
I was shocked, but ultimately not surprised I got really upset at our meeting and was very defensive.
After her leaving I woke up, quite the cannabis, started a healthy routine, and began pursuing career options... All the while being just emotionally overwhelmed.
She traveled to NOLA shortly after that and was staying with friends.
I didn't reach out after she left and began the DB plan. She met up with me roughly 3 weeks in our SP and it was totally amicable I mirrored her discussions and didn't talk about our relationship at all.
I found out shortly after our meeting she was at Mardis Gras which pissed me off -- thought was so disrespectful, reached out to her and suggested divorce is probably needed bc we're headed in diff directions she said ok and hung up.
I didn't sleep or eat for 48 hours and called back told her she had right to do what she wanted since we are separated and ultimately I love her and want to work things out- I wrote her a very nice letter owning my mistakes and she called me back crying saying we didn't need to call it quits and we need to work more on ourselves.
We decided to split up assets so we weren't pressing each other and the next week after we talked I find through our Amazon prime account that she is moving into a place and having a queen size mattress delivered to a random house in NOLA, she promptly takes a full time job.
Her family starts reaching out to me confused about what's she's doing.
I text her a couple of times to reach out and she always calls me back.
I decide to go down to Easter down there to see where we're at which she agrees. I get down there and things get really heavy.
Ultimately I leave early bc it was just too soon to try talking about working things out.
We haven't communicated with each other since Easter.
My therapist setup an appt with her to see where she was at and my counselor suggests I file, doesn't suspect affair but wife has no interest on working on things.
Now, her family tells me she's traveling to Morrocco and Iceland, and quitting her job.
She has no interest n filing and suggests if I need to move on just to file.
I ultimately want to work things out but I don't know even know where to start.
Meanwhile she has left all of her possessions n LA where I have put them n storage- she hasn't asked about them at all. I apologize for the long post!
Thanks for your help
We had a disagreement over New Years while I was sick with stomach issues- she was visiting family in MT.
We had two therapists her mom set us up with who were holistic healers (yes, I know)!
We went down to Mexico last October and used DMT ceremonially to treat my depression and anxiety due to the loss of my mother dieing n a car crash 4 days after our wedding.
After the accident, we were living in LA at the time and we decided to move back home to Dallas to be closer to family; my W had a job opportunity with my aunt and I own an ecommerce site so I can work really from wherever.
Right after our marriage, I became extremely depressed and my W started to dive into to work in order to deal with her angst of me being in constant depression-- not wanting to socialize and being emotional distant.
She came back from NOLA, where she spent most of her time working, said 16 months into her marriage that she met a group of people that inspired her and she no longer thinks she wants to be married...
I clearly assumed she was having an affair which see vehemently denied.
We ended up working things out after her parents talked to her and reasoned with her that her commitment was more important than NOLA at this point.
I agreed to go to bereavement counseling but she continued to travel back to NOLA for work which I greatly resented.
I stared to use medicinal marijuana to treat my anxiety attacks and she began to resent this.
She then decided to go to fashion school in NY after we bought a loft to renovate, which I thought would be a good creative outlet for both of us.
The financial pressure of fashion school and renovating our condo, while I supported both through my ecommerce business became unbearable and ultimately she decided to come back. While my W was in NY she became severally home sick and intensely attached to me which was promising.
My W came back to Dallas and wanted to move back to LA to pursue a career n styling which I wasn't opposed to bc my partner and office is based there. We moved back and her job stalled, she started to travel consistently and working for a sunglass company based in NOLA.
This was just another dagger and I continued to smoke even more: meanwhile I was all in at work and took care of all our finances, home, dog etc...
This contention drove a wedge n between us which led to the holistic healers n Mexico. I was so skeptical and deeply affriad of going down there but she wanted to and at this point I was willing to do anything to get our marriage on track, finally.
During the DMT treatment, we agreed I would stop using medicinal marijuana bc it made me emotionally detached, I would pursue a new career bc ultimately I was losing passion for what I was doing and book a honeymoon bc we never got to it after the accident.
She agreed she would get a job n LA to help with finances and contribute more to our household, and to stop traveling as much to escape.
Things got better after Sept retreat n Mexico and we seemed to be communicating better, I cut down on smoking a lot, and she got a job and was contributing more to our household.
Christmas comes along, I get sick and go to the ER and she heads to MT for New Years.
Our counsellors ask us to write a letter each other seeing if we met our agreements and she basically vents that I have done nothing, which I accept that I didn't quit smoking entirely, change careers, or book our honeymoon, but there was plenty on her side I felt she didn't agree to including quitting whatever EA she was having n NOLA. After she returned from MT we sat down had meeting with her conselors and the next day she packed up all her stuff and left...
I was shocked, but ultimately not surprised I got really upset at our meeting and was very defensive.
After her leaving I woke up, quite the cannabis, started a healthy routine, and began pursuing career options... All the while being just emotionally overwhelmed.
She traveled to NOLA shortly after that and was staying with friends.
I didn't reach out after she left and began the DB plan. She met up with me roughly 3 weeks in our SP and it was totally amicable I mirrored her discussions and didn't talk about our relationship at all.
I found out shortly after our meeting she was at Mardis Gras which pissed me off -- thought was so disrespectful, reached out to her and suggested divorce is probably needed bc we're headed in diff directions she said ok and hung up.
I didn't sleep or eat for 48 hours and called back told her she had right to do what she wanted since we are separated and ultimately I love her and want to work things out- I wrote her a very nice letter owning my mistakes and she called me back crying saying we didn't need to call it quits and we need to work more on ourselves.
We decided to split up assets so we weren't pressing each other and the next week after we talked I find through our Amazon prime account that she is moving into a place and having a queen size mattress delivered to a random house in NOLA, she promptly takes a full time job.
Her family starts reaching out to me confused about what's she's doing.
I text her a couple of times to reach out and she always calls me back.
I decide to go down to Easter down there to see where we're at which she agrees. I get down there and things get really heavy.
Ultimately I leave early bc it was just too soon to try talking about working things out.
We haven't communicated with each other since Easter.
My therapist setup an appt with her to see where she was at and my counselor suggests I file, doesn't suspect affair but wife has no interest on working on things.
Now, her family tells me she's traveling to Morrocco and Iceland, and quitting her job.
She has no interest n filing and suggests if I need to move on just to file.
I ultimately want to work things out but I don't know even know where to start.
Meanwhile she has left all of her possessions n LA where I have put them n storage- she hasn't asked about them at all. I apologize for the long post!
Thanks for your help